MY 50 FAVOURITE HORROR FILMS: 30 TO 21

More horror to make you poo your pants...


30. May (D. Lucky McKee, 2002)
Writer/Director Lucky McKee’s story of lonely, socially inept veterinary nurse May (Angela Bettis) who yearns for the love and companionship of the perfect friend is a disturbingly brilliant and moving little fable. May is a tragic, horrific, yet sympathetic character brought vividly to life by the wonderful Bettis, who to my mind is one of the finest actresses of her generation. Ably supported by Jeremy Sisto and Anna Faris, Bettis is compulsively watchable as she shows us the gradual fracturing of a mind and the obsessive and horrific lengths May will go to, to not be alone. McKee's script is strange, twisted, sad and poignant and his direction is artful and actor centric. He and Bettis are good friends and she appears in most of his films, almost as a muse. Their team works. More please.



29. Ju On: The Grudge (D. Takashi Shimizu, 2002)
There's been lots of different versions of this coldly creepy and highly unsettling Japanese chiller about a deadly supernatural curse, including a Korean remake, a Japanese TV remake, and a US remake starring Buffy herself as directed by the original's Japanese director. I've only seen the original and the US remake. The US remake is good but its obviously larger budget and slightly awkward and unnecessary inclusion of American characters in to a Japanese mythos stymies it somewhat. For me, the original remains the best and most effective. The scene of a poor tormented woman seeking refuge in her own bed...only for the murderous ghost to creep up over her from under her duvet is one of the simplest and scariest concepts in modern horror. Brrr!

28. Black Swan (D. Darren Aronofsky, 2010)
Darren Aronofsky's psychological art house horror sees childlike Ballerina Nina Sayers (Natalie Portman) taking on the dual role of Odette and Odile in Swan Lake. Fine playing sweet, innocent Odette, the white swan, Nina has trouble embracing the darkness to play Odile, the sinister, devilish black swan. Pushed by her manipulative producer (Vincent Cassell) and overbearing mother (Barbara Hershey), and feeling threatened by newcomer dancer Lily (Mila Kunis), Nina begins to crack, believing she really is turning in to a black swan and doing all sorts of terrible things as a result. This is essentially a werewolf tale...but with a swan instead of a wolf. Aronofsky has stated as much. What it certainly is, is one utterly riveting film, beautifully directed, unsettling in places, and featuring a mesmerising (and Oscar winning) lead performance from Natalie Portman who is ably supported by Kunis, Vincent Cassell, Winona Ryder and Barbara Hershey. The ballet sequences are stunning, while ome of the main underlying themes of confronting and embracing sexuality, though nothing new, is wonderfully and artistically handled. In many ways Black Swan reminds me of Neil Jordan's splendid The Company of Wolves in its themes and approach. Simply, Black Swan is a great film, horror or otherwise. See it.

27. Bride of Frankenstein (D. James Whale, 1935)
James Whale's sequel to his own film version of Frankenstein is a wonderfully odd, darkly camp, blackly humorous classic. Taking elements from Mary Shelley's original novel which weren't used in the first movie, Whale spins a tale that sees a chastened Doctor Frankenstein being sought out by the nefarious Dr Pretorius and then being seduced in to helping Dr P with his own bizarre life creating experiments. Pretorius has also made a deal with Frankenstein’s Monster to receive his aid and to study him in exchange for the promise of creating the Monster a companion, specifically a bride. With the eventual creation of the Bride in the stitched together form of the lovely and wonderful Elsa Lanchester, who's all too brief performance is every bit as iconic as Karloff's, we get a twisted take on unworkable and unrequited love. If you've never seen this film, do yourself a favour and seek it out. Gorgeous photography and art direction help to make it essential viewing for any self respecting film fan. And to this day Lanchester's Bride remains a classic goth fox.


Here comes the Bride!

26. The Mist (D. Frank Darabont, 2007)
Frank Darabont's adaptation of Stephen King's novella is a low budget high impact tale of humanity (or lack thereof) and how we behave when we are thrown together under the worst of circumstances. A small US town gets covered in a thick mysterious mist presumed to have escaped from a nearby military base. Within the mist there are all sorts of nasty killer creatures looking to munch on the locals, many of whom take refuge in a large supermarket, barricading themselves in as best as possible. What follows is a tense, scary and tragic microcosm of human society filled with people who may end up killing each other before the monsters get a chance to. Expertly written and directed by Darabont and filled with excellent actors led by Thomas Jane, The Mist's greatest trump card, though, is its ending: a horrifically tragic and soul crushing finale. With The Mist, Darabont proved yet again that he is a master filmmaker, especially when adapting the work of Stephen King. Please make King's Cell next, Frank.

25. Night of the Living Dead (D. George A. Romero, 1968)
George A. Romero's black and white zombie classic sees the dead coming back to life to eat the living with a small group of disparate souls hiding out in an abandoned farmhouse in an effort to try and survive the ghoulish apocalypse. And there's not much more plot than that. But, like all great horror movies and genre movies in general, NotLD is really all about us. It's about human beings and how we behave to each other, how society works and doesn't work. With NotLD Romero and co-writer John Russo created a brand new sub-genre – the zombie movie. Before NotLD, zombies were just dull-brained slaves. Post NotLD and zombies became deadly flesh hungry ghouls. Without Romero there would be no 28 Days Later, no Walking Dead, no Shaun of the Dead amongst many, many others. But Romero didn't just sit on his Laurels (an in joke there), he went on to make more zombie films with Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead, Land of the Dead, Diary of the Dead and Survival of the Dead. Romero uses his zombie tales as social commentary on the particular eras they are made in – be it 60's Vietnam and race relations with Night, rampant 70's consumerism with Dawn, 80's militarism with Day, and 2000's gated communities, economic woes, social media and sectarian fears with Land, Diary and Survival. All hail the great god of the zombies. All hail George!

24. Near Dark (D. Kathryn Bigelow, 1987)
Kathryn Bigelow's stylish 1987 vampire western is a revolutionary film in the vampire movie sub-genre. For the first time vampires move well away from their usual gothic image, becoming feral, blood hungry nomads who prowl the vast lands of the US mid-west sadistically preying on rednecks in bars and on whoever else crosses their paths with a pulse. In this tale, easygoing cowpoke Adrian Pasdar falls for cute vamp Jenny Wright who also takes a shine to him. Unbeknownst to Pasdar, she goes and turns him in to a vamp too (though the term vampire is never used in the film and there are no fangs or glowy eyes, just throat slashing and blood drinking). Pasdar then joins her band of vamps for a while before deciding its not the (un) life for him and goes and sets out to return home to his dad and little sister. Near Dark is a stylishly bloody lesson in how to successfully reinvent a classic monster. Unfortunately it was a box office flop, losing out hugely to the other vampire movie of 1987 – the glossy big budget pop video antics of The Lost Boys, another attempted reinvention of the vampire myth. Nowadays Near Dark is rightfully regarded as a classic genre changing film, while The Lost Boys is mostly thought of as just a fun little teen movie with a great soundtrack. And what became of Near Dark’s director Kathryn Bigelow? Point Break, a divorce from James Cameron, and an Oscar for The Hurt Locker is what.



23. Martyrs (D. Pascal Laugier, 2008)
Part of the current French new wave of horror, director Pascal Laugier's Martyrs is one truly horrible film. It is also utterly brilliant! The central idea doesn't reveal itself until fairly late in to the movie, after the film has led its audience on a twisty turny tale full of bloody revenge and potential madness. In the end, what this film is about is something so disgustingly ingenious that you have to applaud it. This is deeply intelligent filmmaking. But also almost unwatchably painful filmmaking as it delves deep, deep down in to horrendous cruelty and brutality, driving home its ideas like a repeated sledgehammer to the gut. To describe any of the plot in more detail would be a disservice. If you like intelligent horror and have a strong stomach and a reasonably stable mind then seek this out now. But be warned! It is a deeply unpleasant experience. I loved the film but I fear it too and have no wish to see it again any time soon.

22. The Blair Witch Project (D. Eduardo Sanchez, Daniel Myrick, 1999)
If you don't like the ongoing craze for found footage films then you know who to blame. Back in 1999 when the internet was still young two aspiring filmmakers with no money but lots of new media savvy had a great idea. Make a zero budget horror movie pretending it came from found footage discovered after a band of students went in to the woods to investigate the local legend of a child killing witch. Then promote the resulting movie through its own interactive website, selling the events caught on cam as real while also filling in the whole witch mythology via fake historical documents and reports. And lo, the audiences did buy it. To the tune of $240 million world-wide. It didn't hurt that the movie itself was actually brilliant, being an edgy, highly creepy, highly effective little spook story that relies on characters, atmosphere and subtle sound effects as well as the power of suggestion to scare. I still think that its end sequence is one of the best end horror film sequences ever – no gore, no shock, just that utterly creepy and unnerving final image. Great movie then, plus a genuine phenomenon and trendsetter. Shame the sequel was pants.



21. Night of the Demon aka Curse of the Demon (D. Jacques Tourneur, 1957)
The second film in this countdown by French-American director Jacques Tourneur is a wonderfully creepy and classy British supernatural chiller based on the story Casting the Runes by M R James. American professor of psychology Dana Andrews travels to the UK to attend a conference only to get caught up in the dark world of curses, demonology and black magic. For much of the film we are led to believe that the nasty goings on are most likely nothing but a bunch of hocus pocus and psychological suggestion. However it eventually becomes clear that this is not the case as Andrews' investigations in to a possibly murderous sorcerer lead to him being cursed with a demon coming to take his soul. Like all Tourneur's films Night of the Demon is beautifully shot and is full of tension, mood and atmosphere and has a couple of very effective jump scares, the best involving the sudden appearance of a loudly hissing black cat. Creepy and effective, this was a film ahead of its time in many ways. Yes, the actual demon FX are a bit ropy, but by then you have been well and truly pulled in to its deadly serious and coldly creepy world of black magic and murderous demon worship.




20 to 11 will follow soon.

MY 50 FAVOURITE HORROR FILMS: 40 TO 31

The countdown continues...


40. Prince of Darkness (D. John Carpenter, 1987)
John Carpenter's often overlooked sci-fi/supernatural/horror from 1987 may not be up there in the premiere league of Carpenter’s work but it is still a stylishly intriguing affair. In the basement of an old church is a huge ancient canister of green goo apparently having been kept by the church for millennia. But the canister has recently shown signs of activity, which leads a priest (Donald Pleasance) to call in Professor Birack (Victor Wong) to investigate. Along with his team of science students, Birack makes a shocking discovery about the nature of the canister. And very soon we have possessed people stalking the dark halls and the zombie-like homeless surrounding the church, creating a siege for the scientists and priest inside. Prince of Darkness is pleasingly gloomy and creepy rather than being outright scary. The characters may be just a tad too bland but PoD makes up for its shortcomings with a real sense of slowly creeping dread, a brilliant central concept and a killer Carpenteresque ending.



39. 28 Days Later (D. Danny Boyle, 2002)
Danny Boyle's low budget not a zombie zombie film is a bleak, raw, nervy exercise in nihilistic terror as seemingly last man alive Cillian Murphy awakes in an abandoned London only to discover the nation has succumbed to an outbreak which turns people in to mindless rage fuelled monsters out for blood. Storywise there's nothing new here, with Boyle riffing on Romero and Richard Matheson along with other survivalist and disease outbreak flicks. What is new, though, is the way the material is presented - a rawness in shooting and editing helped a lot by the use of new digital cameras. And unlike traditional zombies, the infected are fast, agile and noisy, roaring at you as if the devil himself were inside of them. Terrifying. Nice one Danny.

38. Suspiria (D. Dario Argento, 1977)
By far Italian horror legend Dario Argento's finest work, Suspiria is a visual tour-de-force; a colourful, bloody, hypnotic nightmare which sees Jessica Harper enrolling in an isolated Italian ballet school only to discover it holds a horrifying supernatural secret built on murder and bloodshed. There really isn't any other film out there that looks anything like Suspiria. The photography is quite astonishing, and the Goblin score is a classic. Argento has never come close to making anything this good again I'm sorry to say. But at least we have this classic horror from him. And what is it with scary ballet? I have two films in my top 50 that centre on ballet and ballerinas. Maybe its due to the physical hell they put themselves through to try and perfect their art. I dunno. But it does seem to lend itself nicely to strange tales of horror.



37. Frankenstein (D. James Whale, 1931)
James Whale's classic film version of Mary Shelley's novel needs no explanation from me. Suffice to say it is a beautifully made film with Colin Clive on great mad scientist form as the good Doctor F. But of course it is Karloff who truly makes this movie what it is. His take on the Monster is definitive and beyond iconic. His performance is subtle, affecting, filled with childish innocence which is countered by often explosive tantrums. He is the model for all misunderstood and sympathetic monsters to come. A true classic.

36. The Wolfman (D. George Waggner, 1941)
Has there ever been a sadder more hopeless, helpless hero in a horror movie than poor lycanthropic Laurence Talbot as played here by Lon Chaney Jr? So much we take for granted about werewolf lore was either pulled together for the first time in this film or was actually created by its writer Curt Siodmak. “Even a man who is pure of heart and says his prayers by night may become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright.” Classic. And all from Siodmak. Most people know the story so I won't repeat it. In the end, The Wolfman is a wonderfully melodramatic atmospheric tale with a wonderful central performance by Chaney and some equally wonderful monster make-up by FX legend Jack Pierce. And I love every minute of it.



35. Switchblade Romance aka High Tension aka Haute Tension (D. Alexandre Adja, 2003)
Alexandre Adja's ferociously brutal, unpredictable stalk and slash is an evil little gem. Rural France and two young women, Marie and Alex, go to stay with Alex’s parents in their remote farmhouse. Later that night a stranger breaks in, brutally murders the parents and wounds badly Alex. Marie manages to escape, taking Alex with her, the savage stranger hot on their heels. What follows is a chase and slash as the two girls, one badly wounded, try to evade capture...at least until the shocking truth is finally revealed. A nasty, bloody, clever little movie, Switchblade Romance marked Adja as a name to watch as well as marking the start of the current French new wave of horror.

34. The Others (D. Alejandro Amenabar, 2001)
A classic ghost story with a twist, Spanish director Alejandro Amenabar’s The Others is a moody, elegant and splendidly old-fashioned chiller. It’s the end of World War 2 and Nicole Kidman in a wonderfully brittle performance, is Grace, a widowed mother living with her two young children in a big isolated house on the island of Jersey. It soon transpires that the house is most likely haunted as strange goings on abound, with sudden noises, doors opening, strange sightings all making for an extremely effective scare show for poor mummy Nicole and the audience alike. The film looks beautiful too and Kidman has never been better. The Others proves you don't need elaborate effects or gore to make for a truly scary film. It's only a 12 certificate for cripes sake. Marvellous!

33. Zombie Flesh Eaters (D. Lucio Fulci, 1979)
The other Lucio Fulci film in my countdown is his most obvious cash in on the success of Romero's Dawn of the Dead. But it is also Fulci's most accomplished film too. Zombie Flesh Eaters sees New York journalist Ian McCulloch accompanying Tisa Farrow (Mia's sister) on a trip to an island in the Caribbean to find Tisa's missing scientist father. Once at the island our heroes meet up with another young couple who are there doing scientific research. And together the four of them along with local doctor Richard Johnson attempt to discover what is happening to the island's inhabitants who appear to be dying from a mysterious plague. Pretty soon, though, the dead begin returning to life and munching on the living in good ol' zombie style, leading our heroes to try and escape the island before they too become walking corpse food. I love this movie. It's a full-on gorefest with all kinds of bloody kills and offal eating. It also contains two of the most memorable zombie related sequences ever: a girl's eye vs. a broken piece of wood, and an underwater zombie vs. a real shark. Like City of the Living Dead, Flesh Eaters has a strange, dreamlike quality to it. It feels slightly surreal, disjointed. Strange camera angles and random editing is employed to enhance the feeling of unease. And it works. It is also very, very gory and has a wonderfully apocalyptic ending. One of my all time fave zombie films.



32. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (D. Tobe Hooper, 1974)
Tobe Hooper's black humoured tale of red neck cannibals vs. annoying kids is a great movie, if not the grisly terrorfest the myth leads us to believe it is. For a start, you don't actually see much of any graphic violence. Most of it is implied or happens just off screen. The horror comes from the idea and the situation and the grotesque family who ply their human slaughterhouse trade. The first time I ever saw this film was on a cinema re-release back in the 90's. And I was severely disappointed. I thought it was just very silly and not scary at all. But having watched it since... I've got the joke. It IS a black comedy, a satire on the state of Vietnam era America. Not that horrific then, but still a great movie.

31. Ginger Snaps (D. John Fawcett, 2001)
John Fawcett's brilliant werewolf film is a bloody and darkly humourous coming of age/entry in to womanhood parable for young girls. Moody, death obsessed teen sisters Brigitte and Ginger (Emily Perkins and Katherine Isabelle) live in a bleak and boring Canadian suburban housing estate menaced by a wild animal that's killing and eating the local pets. While out one night, the sisters are attacked by the very same animal. And Ginger is bitten before the animal goes and gets mashed on the road. It turns out the beast was a werewolf. And now Ginger is slowly turning in to a werewolf too, complete with growing tail, sharpening teeth, yellow eyes and a thirst for sex and blood. Can Brigitte find a way to save her sister before she goes full wolf? Karen Walton's script is keenly observed and full of sharp jabs at suburban family life as well as the horrors of growing up and 'maturing'. Ginger is horrified at the idea of her period and all that it means. To Ginger, becoming a werewolf is nowhere near as revolting as becoming a woman. Fawcett's direction is steady and assured with some decent frights and plenty of wry black humour, and the two lead performances of Perkins and Isabelle are pitch perfect. Teen angst body horror at its finest.



30 to 21 coming soon. MWAHAHAHAHA!

MY 50 FAVOURITE HORROR MOVIES: 50 TO 41

Greetings fellow horror hounds!

This year, to celebrate Halloween, I thought I’d do a countdown of my own personal favourite horror films of all time.

Now, I don’t claim these to be the ‘best’ horror films, just the ones I find I enjoy the most and can watch the most. In doing this I’ve tried where possible to steer clear of comedy/horror and to concentrate on pure horror, though there will be a few notable exceptions to that rule. I’ll aim to post my fave fifty in blocks of ten starting here with fifty to forty one, leading up to the final top ten being posted around Halloween itself.

This has been far from an easy task and almost certainly isn’t gonna be definitive as I’ll probably end up remembering titles after the fact that I should have included. But hey ho, it’s all just a bit of ghoulish seasonal fun.

Feel free to comment and slag off my choices and to suggest your own faves.

So, without further ado, here numbers fifty to forty one:


50. Ginger Snaps 2 (D. Brett Sullivan, 2003)
Brett Sullivan's sequel to John Fawcett's brilliant Ginger Snaps is a rare beast: a direct to dvd sequel that is not only a worthy follow up but a logical and smart continuation of the story begun in the first film. The excellent Emily Perkins returns as Brigitte, who after the death of werewolf sister Ginger in the original, is also now infected and is regularly injecting herself with wolfsbane to keep the curse at bay. This soon leads to a mix up with Brigitte being locked up in a drug rehab centre. Separated from her wolfsbane she must try to stop her change while also avoiding a new werewolf who is apparently tracking her down, looking for a mate. Smartly written, crisply directed and with two excellent performances from Perkins and Tatiana Maslany as a strange young girl called Ghost, GS2 is a sequel almost as good as the original.


Trailer

49. City of the Living Dead (D. Lucio Fulci, 1980)
The first of two films in this countdown from Italian horror legend Lucio Fulci, City is the first instalment of Fulci’s unofficial Gates of Hell trilogy, which also includes The Beyond and The House by the Cemetery. City is a weird surrealist mash-up of atmospheric Lovecraftian horror and Romero inspired zombie flesh munching. The story is something to do with the gates of hell about to be opened in the small US town of Dunwich, New England due to the suicide of a local priest. For some reason this suicide has gone and unleashed a horde of ghostly teleporting zombies to eat people up as well as various nasty curses which sees one young girl literally (and grossly) puke up her own guts. Like the best of Fulci, City doesn't make much sense but it is stylish, weirdly dreamlike, supremely atmospheric and utterly gross. Great demented fun.


Trailer

48. Rec. (D. Jaume Balagueró and Paco Plaza, 2007)
This Spanish found footage/mockumentary about a city building under quarantine after some kind of deadly outbreak is a swift, intense, super tense, super scary rollercoaster ride. Being shot almost in real time lends extra urgency and desperation to the whole affair with the dark hallways and rooms of the labyrinthine building being a non stop terror trap with hostile zombie types ready to leap out and attack at any second. The final ten minutes in the pitch-black attic is one of THE scariest sequences in horror history. The sequels are pretty damn good too.


Trailer

47. Trick r Treat (D. Mike Dougherty, 2007)
Mike Dougherty's gleefully nasty anthology celebrates Halloween with a slice of twisted small town Americana. It's as if Amblin had decided to make a proper horror film, if say, they'd pushed Gremlins that extra couple of notches to make it really gleefully nasty. The film's four separate tales intertwine cleverly, linked together by the presence of tricky little Halloween sprite Sam, before becoming one big and hugely satisfying whole at the end. Shot for only $12m and produced by Bryan Singer, the film looks gorgeous and is full of splendid actors including the fabulous Dylan Baker, Bryan Cox and Anna Paquin. No trick, this is a brilliant Halloween treat. Just don't be dissing the 31st October or little Sam will come get you.


Trailer

46. The Ring (D. Gore Verbinski, 2002)
Gore Verbinski's US remake of the Japanese original is to my mind the superior version of the story. Verbinski manages to capture the atmosphere of the original (something no other US remakes of J-horror have been able to do) while also building a deeper and more satisfying story around the cursed videotape and the dead girl who haunts it. Tense, chilling, and featuring a great central performance from Naomi Watts, The Ring will make sure you never watch TV the same way again. Seven days!


Trailer

45. The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue (D: Jorge Grau, 1974)
Spanish director Jorge Grau's zombie horror is a strange one. It's a Spanish/Italian co-production set in England featuring the Manchester Morgue in the title yet set somewhere up in the Lake District instead. An experimental sonic pesticide machine being tested on a farm has the bizarre side effect of raising the recently deceased as flesh hungry zombies who roam the countryside killing and eating locals. It's up to a local copper, a young female tourist and a biker dude to combat the undead menace. A weird film, TLDatMM succeeds for three key reasons. First, the English locations (mostly the Peak District) are beautiful and Grau films them with an artist’s eye for composition and capturing natural beauty. Second, there is a strong eco theme running throughout the film re. science messing with nature. And third, the zombies, though not that many of them, are fab and do some very gory kills. Thanks to Grau, a good director, the film has atmosphere and though overall it might not make a whole heap of sense, it does stay with you.


Trailer

44. Audition (D: Takashi Miike, 1999)
Acclaimed Japanese director Takashi Miike's deeply disturbing tale of obsessive love and pain is a hard watch, especially once things get really full on and the wire saw comes out. Middle aged widower Shigeharu is looking for a new wife and decides to accept his film producer friend’s offer to hold an open audition for his prospective new bride with Shigeharu soon becoming smitten by Asami, a seemingly sweet young ex-ballet dancer. But Asami hides an appalling secret. And what follows is an exploration of how the search for true love can go horribly, horribly wrong, shown to us as only Miike can. Ghastly but great.


Trailer

43. I Walked with a Zombie (D: Jacques Tourneur, 1943)
The first of two films in this countdown by French-American director Jacques Tourneur is a dark, dream-like tale of jealousy and betrayal set on an island in the West Indies where a young Canadian nurse relocates to look after the sick wife of a rich white land owner. The nurse is introduced to the landowner's dysfunctional family as well as to the local legends of voodoo, which may or may not have something to do with the zombie-like state the sick wife is now in. Tourneur, who previously made the seminal Cat People (a toss up for this spot), was a great director for creating mood and atmosphere and went on to become a major player in film noir. Here, a deep sense of creeping unease permeates every frame of film, which also includes sound effects of omnipresent distant drums and whispering grasses and rumbling storms. Tourneur was also one of the first directors to use and to master the jump scare, with this film having one great one. A correctly regarded classic of the period.


Trailer

42. Braindead aka Dead Alive (D: Peter Jackson, 1992)
Peter Jackson's crazy, OTT, blood and gore soaked period Kiwi horror nearly didn't make this list as it also falls in to the comedy genre. And I've tried with this countdown to focus more closely on pure horror (with a couple notable exceptions). But Braindead is such a riotous affair and is so, so gory and so much horrible fun that it simply can't be ignored. A rare Sumatran Rat-Monkey is captured and taken back to New Zealand where it bites the ghastly mother of hapless put upon Lionel, turning her and then others in to depraved, flesh hungry zombie mutants. What follows is a Grand Guignol of Sam Raimi inspired sick, gory lunacy. Fun with a capital F.


Trailer

41. Dracula: Prince of Darkness (D. Terence Fisher, 1966)
It took Christopher Lee eight full years to be convinced to reprise his most iconic role for a sequel to Hammer's huge 1958 hit The Horror of Dracula. And according to Lee he only did it under the proviso that all of his dialogue was thrown out and that he wouldn't say a single word on screen. A genius move as it turned out. DPoD is essentially Dracula as The Terminator – a single minded, utterly unstoppable killer focussed on tracking down and getting the one woman he wants. And nothing will get in his way. Lee is all red eyes and snarling fangs, charging around with a manic animalistic energy. In his way is the gruff gun toting friar Father Sandor played by the late great Andrew Keir who delivers a performance as charismatic and charming as Lee is intense and bestial. A simple, streamlined plot and stylish and energetic direction by Hammer legend Terrence Fisher together with Lee's intensity and Kier's gruff charisma makes DPoD the very best of the classic Hammer catalogue.


Trailer


40 to 31 coming soon. Stay tuned.

BUFFY 5.16 THE BODY

The first 12 minutes of the episode

WRITER: Joss Whedon

DIRECTOR: Joss Whedon

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Buffy comes home to find her mom apparently lifeless on the couch. Shocked she calls 911 who tell her to do CPR while they send the paramendics. Buffy does, desperately trying to revive Joyce. But she gets no reaction. Buffy also calls Giles, telling him he needs to come right away. Soon the paramedics arrive. They do their best...but to no avail. The lead paramedic gives Buffy the terrible news – her mom has died. He offers his condolences and says that someone will be there soon to take the body away for a proper investigation in to the cause of death. The paramedics go, leaving Buffy all alone in the house, all alone with the Body. She wanders the house in silence, in shock. She is sick on the floor. She opens the back door and listens to the sounds of everyday life outside. Giles quickly arrives, fearful that Glory has launched another attack. He sees Joyce’s prone body. Buffy manages to tell him what happened and Giles comforts his young slayer. We go on to see the rest of the Scoobies dealing with the news. They are all clearly shocked, grieving, angry, with poor Anya not seeming to understand any of it. She doesn’t understand how this can be the absolute end of someone. But the worst comes as Buffy goes to the school to tell Dawn. Buffy pulls her little sister out of art class, the teenager’s friends watching silently through a window as the news is broken, watching as poor Dawn collapses in grief. Later, at the hospital, the doctor confirms to Buffy that Joyce died from an aneurysm – a complication from her surgery. He says it would have been quick and painless. While Buffy and the doctor have been talking, Dawn has snuck off to find her mother’s body. She is confused and curious about death, about what happens next. In the morgue she sees Joyce’s body lying on the table…but another body suddenly gets up from a neighbouring table: a vampire. The newly risen vamp goes to attack Dawn. Luckily Buffy arrives just in time and saves her sister, quickly finishing off the monster. The episode ends with Dawn and Buffy, sat together on the cold mortuary floor, looking at Joyce’s body. Buffy tells her sister that their mom is not there, that she has gone. But Dawn wants to know where Joyce has gone, her hand slowly moving forward, looking to touch her mother one last time.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

For once there isn’t one. It is all up there on the screen. It’s about how we deal when death comes a calling. It’s about the banality, the weirdness of those first few minutes and hours, about how shock and disbelief plays with our minds, with our perceptions of place and time. There are no life lessons learned in The Body, no big truths uncovered. Simply, it is all about "the black ashes in your mouth numbness of death" as Joss described it.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Real life. Real death.

WHY IT ROCKS

If you’ve seen it then you will know why.

Quite simply The Body is one of the greatest pieces of television ever produced. It is a stripped down and painfully honest piece of drama that shows us the reality (or un-reality) of a traumatic and terrible event the likes of which we will all unfortunately experience at some point or another. I have experienced it in a very similar circumstance to Buffy.

The power of Joss’s episode is that it is absolutely accurate, devastatingly so, drawing on his own personal experience. That is why it resonates, why it works, why it hurts. Everything shown is honest and true in the worst of ways such as how in the immediate aftermath the world becomes a strange otherworldly place where flashes of wish fulfilment fantasy try to push back the tide of awful reality. How the tiniest details suddenly become huge. How we question, how we struggle to understand, to comprehend, to make sense of things.

There is no music in The Body. No score. There is only dialogue and ambient sounds often cranked up in places – wind chimmes, children playing, birdsong, traffic etc. The worst being the loud snap when Buffy accidentally breaks her mother’s rib while doing CPR. But most of all there is silence. Long stretches of deafening silence. People standing or sitting around, not knowing what to say or do, struggling for words, to know what to say, how to behave. An odd situation for a show famed for its continual witty wordsmithery.

And then there are the performances.

Well, you all know by now that I think highly of SMG. She is the powerful centre of the show. And in this episode, she is quite brilliant. She has to display such deep and believable levels of shock, grief, anger, comfort. And she does it achingly well. This is the most stripped down, vulnerable, and utterly human the character of Buffy Summers has ever been, or will ever be. Seeing her paled face and big haunted eyes in extreme close up as she stands on the doorstep, in the sun, listening to passing sounds of life, is deeply unsettling. Following behind her small, fragile looking figure as she staggers through the silent house then collapses and vomits on the floor is distressing. I mean, she’s the hero. Strong, Clever. Witty. Ready to handle anything… except this. All of the performances are great but deserving of extra praise is Emma Caulfield. Anya’s genuinely confused and upset reaction to realising Joyce will never again get to enjoy all the simple little things in life that people enjoy is heartbreaking. In that one short monologue she captures the episode perfectly. If you aren’t fighting to hold back tears by that point then you have a heart of stone.

If there were any justice in the world The Body would have won a whole heap of Emmy awards, including for writing, direction and performance by SMG. As it turned out it wasn’t nominated for a single one, much to the amazement of television critics right across the US who’d been openly calling for awards recognition for the episode. But Joss always said he never made this show to get awards. He made it so that he could play around with genre conventions and explore themes and ideas that interested him as well as to create characters that people could identify with and possibly gain something from. And he certainly succeeded.

The Body is my personal favourite episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is possibly my favourite piece of television ever, possibly even my favourite piece of drama from any medium. But I find it hard to watch. The first time I saw it I’d already had a similar experience to Buffy. Now I’ve had two. The second one being almost identical to what happens in the episode. Now it is very hard to watch. Almost too hard. But I continue to watch it from time to time because it is a great piece of drama that transcends its medium, its genre. It deserves to be watched. The Body was made by someone working from their own personal experience, someone showing us that the weird reactions, the strange things that we think and do in those first few hours are perfectly normal. And that despite how isolated we feel in that darkest time, we are not alone.

Thank you Joss.

WHY IT SUCKS

It doesn’t

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Anya’s monologue

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Buffy: Mom? Whadya doin'? Mom? ... Mom? ... Mommy?

Buffy (shouts to Giles): We're not supposed to move the body! (She puts her hand over her mouth, in shock.)

Tara: We can be strong.
Willow: Strong like an Amazon?

Anya: But I don't understand! I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's, there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore! It's stupid! It's mortal and stupid! And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well Joyce will never have any more fruit punch, ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why. (She puts her hand over her face, crying.)

Xander: We'll go, we'll deal, we'll help. That's what we do. We help Buffy.

Anya (loudly): I wish that Joyce didn't die...
Everyone looks at her.
Anya (more softly):...because she was nice. And now we all hurt.
Xander: Anya, ever the wordsmith.
Buffy (to Anya, meaning it): Thank you.

Buffy: Everybody wants to help. I don't even know if I'm... here. I don't know what's going on. Never done this. (pauses) That's just an amazingly dumb thing to say. Obviously I've never done this before.
Tara (softly): I have. My mother died when I was seventeen.

Dawn (looking at Joyce's body): Is she cold?
Buffy: It's not her... it's not her... she's gone.
Dawn (softly): Where'd she go?

AND ANOTHER THING

There is no "Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer" at the beginning of this episode. And there is no music of any kind.

The episode starts with a flashback scene feat. Joyce, Buffy and the gang having Christmas dinner as Joss didn’t want the credits playing over the story proper.

This episode features Willow and Tara’s first on-screen kiss. It is a throwaway moment of quick comfort and not played as a big deal. Originally the WB balked at having them kiss but Joss insisted, saying it was the natural thing for them to do in the scene. It was the one and only time he threatened the network that he’d leave the show if he didn’t get his way. Thankfully they quickly relented.

Joss lost his own mother in a similar way to Buffy. The episode stems primarily from his personal experience.

Some have criticised the inclusion of the vampire in the final sequence at the morgue. I also always felt it was kind of an odd and jarring inclusion. But Joss has explained that it is there to signify that despite this awful tragedy, life goes on. And for Buffy, life in Sunnydale means vampires and demons. There is no escape from it. I also think that the vampire is another expression of death, of a dead body. And that when Buffy slays it she is slaying death itself in a way she couldn’t for her mom.

HOW MANY STAKES?

5+ (out of 5)

BUFFY 5.15: I WAS MADE TO LOVE YOU

Cute robot April

WRITER: Jane Espenson

DIRECTOR: James A. Contner

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

A beautiful and slightly odd young woman comes to town asking everyone she meets if they have seen Warren. The girl, whose name is April, says that Warren is her boyfriend and that he has gone missing. At a party, April does the rounds asking every guest if they have seen Warren. When she gets to Spike, the vamp hits on her, whispering something suggestive to which April takes offence….and promptly picks him up and throws him through a window…much to the delight of a watching Buffy. After some investigations, Buffy and the gang discover that April is in fact a robot who was created by a guy called Warren Meers as the ‘perfect’ girlfriend. But not long after, Warren met a real girl called Katrina and the pair hooked up. Leaving April shut in a closet Warren and the oblivious Katrina then moved away, Warren thinking April’s battery would eventually run down. But it hasn’t, not yet. And April means to find him so that they can be together again. Things come to a head when a desperate Warren, wanting to get away from April, tells her he is in love with Buffy. April reacts furiously and attacks the unwitting Buffster. However April’s batteries are almost dry and the fight soon peters out. A dying April can't understand what she did wrong, as she was the perfect girlfriend. And before long, poor rejected April, left sitting on a swing, Buffy holding her hand, is dead. Elsewhere Spike finds Warren and demands he build him a robot Buffy. Then, as the episode ends, Buffy arrives at her home looking for her mom only to make a terrible discovery.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Loneliness and the pain of rejection and of unrequited love. When you believe that you’ve done everything you can possibly do to make someone love you, when you’ve been everything they wanted you to be….only to discover that it isn’t enough and that love doesn’t work like that.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Well, it could be April, but it isn’t. She doesn’t hurt anyone, not really. She is far too sympathetic. She is the victim here. No, the real bad guy is Warren - the selfish, shallow and soon to be discovered criminal misogynist.

WHY IT ROCKS

I, Robot. Introducing a full-on sci-fi concept in to the show in the form of a man made and perfectly human looking robot is on one hand weird and disconcerting but on the other hand a stroke of nutty genius. But it isn’t new. The John Ritter starring episode ‘Ted’ back in season 2 first gave us human looking robots in Buffy. The show enjoys mixing popular sci-fi tropes with its more usual horror/supernatural ones. It’s part of the reason the show is so much fun. I mean, last season we got ray guns and cyborgs too. Cool.

April. Playing robot April is Shonda Farr who does a great job – all sweet and chirpy innocence with sudden explosions of violence. She’s great. She’s also very, very cute. A fact both Xander and Willow acknowledge. April is the victim here and her situation and eventual fate is sad…even if she is just circuits and motors…very, very attractive circuits and motors.

Puffy Xander. Buffy training violently at the start of the episode, venting her frustrations on an unseen punch bag, which is soon revealed to be a winded and pained Xander wearing a big padded suit, is most amusing.

Traumatised Giles. After babysitting Dawn for an evening while Joyce and Buffy are out, Giles is mercifully relieved to be set free from the torment a young teenage girl can inflict with her terrible music and relentless talk about boys.

That final scene.

WHY IT SUCKS

It doesn’t suck. It’s a solid episode, nicely written, nicely played and the underlying theme is quite a good one but overall it is fairly run of the mill stuff. The script is amusing and poignant in places but it just never quite gets up there.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

The final scene.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Buffy: Oh! Puffy Xander, uh, I'm sorry, I got... guess I got carried away. Are you okay?
Xander: I'm alive. I can tell 'cause of the pain.

Xander: Buffy, do you ever think the reason you haven't found a great relationship on the Hellmouth is because it's a Hellmouth?

Joyce: He's a nice, normal guy. Okay?
Buffy: I think I've heard of those.

Tara: I go online sometimes, but everyone's spelling is really bad. It's... depressing.

Xander (dancing with Buffy): How you doing, having o' the fun?
Buffy: You know, I am. Dancing with you is way better than trying to hook up with some good-looking guy.
Xander: I think I liked it better when you were kicking me in my puffy groin.

Spike: You threw me through a window! What's that about?
April: You cannot make those suggestions to me. I have a boyfriend. Warren is my boyfriend.
Spike: You know what? My bleeding sympathies to Warren!

Buffy: I don't know about you guys, but I've had it with super-strong little women who aren't me.

Giles: Dear god, Buffy, there's only so much I can take. We're going to have to change the system. A fourteen-year-old's too old to be babysat, and it's not fair on her.
Buffy: What'd she make you do?
Giles: Um, well, we listened to aggressively cheerful music sung by people chosen for their ability to dance. Then we ate cookie dough, and talked about boys.
Buffy (laughing): I'm sorry. I'm very very sorry, but if it makes you feel any better, my "fun time Buffy party night" involved watching a robot throw Spike through a window, so if you wanna trade... no... wait... I wouldn't give that memory up for anything.

Buffy (seeing her mother lifeless on the couch): Mom? Mom? (In a small voice) Mommy?

AND ANOTHER THING

Originally it was intended for Britney Spears to play the role of April the jilted love bot. Britney was a Buffy fan but the deal fell through. Thankfully. Celeb gimmicks are NOT required in this show.

HOW MANY STAKES?

A lovely 3 (out of 5)

BUFFY 5.14: THE CRUSH

WRITER: David Fury

DIRECTOR: Daniel Attias

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

A train pulls in to Sunnydale station. All its passengers are dead, drained of blood. Buffy investigates, knowing that a vampire was to blame. Meanwhile Dawn hangs out with Spike who she thinks is cool and who she has a bit of a crush on. But she soon works out that he is in love with her sister. She tells Buffy this, much to the Slayer’s horror. And so Buff goes and confronts Spike who finally admits it to her. Buff, appalled, tells him to stay away from her. Soon, though, the new vamp in town makes herself known: Drusilla. She’s back and looking to put the old family back together with newly vamped Darla back in LA and Angel primed to turn evil again. Despite his chip it seems that Spike is tempted but he bluffs both Dru and Buff and knocks them both out and chains them both up in his crypt where he intends to prove his love to Buffy by staking Dru for her. But Buff is less than impressed….and then Harmony, Spike’s current girlfriend turns up, looking for payback. Ouch!

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Love makes you do the Whacky as Buff herself once said. And it certainly does here to poor old Spike. Caught in a love and loyalty trap between his old paramour and sire, the mad as a box of frogs Drusilla, and the girl he’s fallen head over heels for, his one time sworn enemy, the Buffster. Add in the poor used and abused Harmony and Spike has got himself in a pretty pickle here. His solution is…uh…interesting and makes sense in his brain: finally dispose of his past to prove what his future can be with the one he truly loves. Only it doesn’t quite work out that way for poor William, the sensitive, permanently love struck poet.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Drusilla

WHY IT ROCKS

James Marsters. This is a Spike episode. It’s all about him, who he is, what he is feeling, what he is prepared to do about it. And James is as great as ever. Whether he’s telling scary stories by candlelight to Dawn, drinking bourbon and singing along to The Ramones, declaring his love to Buff, or having a full-on rant at the two most important women in his life (who he’s just chained up in his crypt) for making his life so sodding miserable, he’s a powerhouse.

Spike and Harmony’s sexcapades. Love how Spike gets Harm to dress up like Buffy and role play being her, hunting him, trying to stake him, before he goes and grabs her for some, ahem, action.

Juliette Landau. I know she gets a hard time from a lot of fans. And, yes, the accent still sucks, and the craziness can be kinda grating, but Juliette always manages to make Dru truly creepy and disconcerting. I like her. I’m a Dru fan. And seeing the old double act back together (if only briefly) is pretty cool.

WHY IT SUCKS

The story is fine and all but there are better Spike (and Dru) episodes out there. Good but not that memorable.

Why the heck does Buff let Dru just walk out of Spike’s crypt? Why didn’t she call Spike’s bluff when she was chained up and get him to stake Dru once and for all? I’m glad Dru is still around but it doesn’t make a whole heap of sense. Dru is a true monster. But Buff just lets her go. And come to think of it, if she hates Spike as much as she says she does, why doesn’t she just stake him too and be done? We can only assume that somewhere deep down she does have some feelings for him. Either that or she is just using him because she knows he is strong and good in a fight. Maybe a bit of both.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

The happy, fluffy ending Spike gives to the scary story he’s telling Dawn when Buffy suddenly turns up. Most amusing.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Xander: Hey, evil dead, you're in my seat.
(Spike mutters and leaves)
Anya: Xander, I think you may have hurt his feelings.
Xander: (dismissive) You should never hurt the feelings of a brutal killer. (Reconsiders) You know, that's actually some pretty good advice.

Xander: The point is, I work hard for that money.
Spike: And you're saying I didn't?
Xander: You stole it!
Spike: And you're making it into very hard work!

Dawn: I feel safe with you.
Spike (chokes on his beer): Take that back!

Buffy: These vamps have been here for a while. They've nested.
Spike: So, you're saying they're a couple of poofters?

Harmony: What the heck is this? Who is— Oh wait, I get it. Our little sex game was just the beginning. Now you've gone and picked up some cheap queen of the damned to dress up like your precious Droodzilla. Well, you'd better not be thinking what I think you're thinking, because my answer is the same as always — no threesomes unless it's boy-boy-girl. Or Charlize Theron.

Spike (shouting): Aaaarrrggghh! Gaaagggghhhhhh! What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody women? What the hell does it take? Why do you bitches torture me?
Buffy: (dryly) Which question do you want me to answer first?

AND ANOTHER THING

The Crush takes place after the Angel episode Redefinition in which Angel, having gone bad but not soulless, traps Darla and Dru and sets them on fire. Hence the scars on Dru in this ep.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Hardly crushing. 2.5 (out of 5)