BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 6.5: LIFE SERIAL

Promo

WRITER: David Fury & Jane Espenson

DIRECTOR: Nick Marck

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Buffy returns home after her meeting with Angel just as the geek Trio of Warren, Jonathan and Andrew launch in to a series of goofy and rather annoying scenarios to secretly test the slayer. Scenarios that include a mummy hand infested time loop, speeded up time, and a conjured demon attack. Thinking someone is messing with her, Buff teams up with Spike to crash the local demon haunts in search of info. This leads to vast quantities of booze being consumed, a few hands of kitten poker and a run-in with a nerdy Star Wars van and a decidedly odd red faced demon.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

The continuing search to find where you fit in, what direction your life should be going in. Making some kind of sense out of the senseless.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

The Trio and their various tests.

WHY IT ROCKS

Funny: After what has been a fairly heavy start to the sixth season, Life Serial is just a big bunch of full-on silliness. Much of the comedy is not subtle, be it the innuendo around grabbing Jonathan's magic bone, the Trio's geek fight over who was the best Bond, the reveal of the Death Star and the Star Wars horn, Buffy's Evil Dead/Three Stooges style battle with a living mummy hand, drunk Buffy, kitten poker etc. Yep, not subtle. At all. But funny? You bet.

Who was the best Bond? Warren and Jonathan's vigorous debate over whether Connery, Brosnan or Moore are the best James Bond is hilarious, especially when Andrew, sat between them, says that he preferred Timothy Dalton, thus earning a hard smack around the head from Warren. This is followed up by a discussion on how terrible Moonraker is and then Andrew's later scream of rage that: “Dalton should get an Oscar and beat Sean Connery over the *head* with it!” Heh.

Kitten poker: Pure bloody genius. 'nuff said.

Buffy the boozer: Oh she is not a good boozer. So funny how she does a silly gag with every shot she does. And then later suffers the mother of all hangovers complete with handy bucket. Ugh. We've all been there.

Giles' dark look as a happy Buffy leaves the bedroom, saying she's so happy he'll always be there to help her out with her problems.

WHY IT SUCKS

Tricks: the tricks/tests the Trio put Buffy through are not exactly scary or too terrible, more annoying. Luckily the mummy hand sequence is very funny thanks to some snappy direction and SMG's game performance.

Silly: The entire episode is very, very silly. While that is not a bad thing per se, it's just that this one tips over in to the absurd rather than keeping itself grounded in some sort of reality, which all the best eps of Buffy are able to do.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Kitten poker. Who's gonna advance me a tiny tabby?

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Willow: You're not dumb, just rusty!
Buffy: Maybe I should ease back in with some non-taxing classes, like Introduction to Pies, or maybe Advanced Walking.

Xander: I think it's worth checking out. And I don't mean later. You need to see Giles right away. I'd start by IDing those demons.
Buffy: You're firing me, aren't you?
Xander: Big time.

Andrew: Why is the Slayer here anyway? She's a student, she's a construction worker, and now she's some kind of selling-stuff person?
Warren: It's like she's completely without focus... Should we check the other channels for free cable porn?

Jonathan: Stop touching my magic bone!
(Warren & Andrew giggle)
Jonathan: Shut up!

Andrew: I just hope she solves it faster than Data did on the ep of TNG where the Enterprise kept blowing up.
Warren: Or Mulder in the X-Files one, where the bank kept exploding?
Andrew: Scully wants me so bad!

Warren: This mummy hand has ceased to be!
Andrew: It is an _ex_-mummy hand!

Buffy: You play for *kittens*?!?
Spike: Who's gonna advance me a tiny tabby... get me started? Come on, someone's got to stake me.
Buffy: I'll do it! (he glares) You thought I was just gonna let that lie there?

Andrew: We're really super-villians now! Like Dr. No.
Warren: Back when Bond was Connery and movies were decent.
Jonathan: Who remembers Connery? I mean, Roger Moore was smooth!
Warren: You're insane. You're short and you're insane.
Andrew: I like Timothy Dalton. (warren smacks him) Hey!

Buffy: Scamper! Be free, kittens!

Warren: Connery is the only actor of the bunch!
Andrew: Timothy Dalton should get an Oscar and beat Sean Connery over the *head* with it!!!

AND ANOTHER THING

Star Wars: There are lots of pop culture gags and references in this episode. Perhaps the most obvious (other than Bond) are the numerous Star Wars ones. This is not by accident. George Lucas' daughter was a massive Buffy fan and during the filming of season six both her and her dad visited the set to meet the stars and production team. George was so impressed with what he saw he actually invited Joss and the gang to come out to Australia and do some shooting while he was there making Episode 2: Attack of the Clones at the new FOX studio. It was seriously considered for a while but in the end time and money prevented it from happening.

Gidget & Britney: Buffy is referred to as both Gidget and Britney by the construction guys. Gidget was a trouble-prone teenager in a popular 1960's American TV show played by a young Sally Field. Britney is, I think, fairly obvious to all.

Clem: Spike's pal Clem, the good natured loose skinned demon, makes his first appearance in this episode.

In jokes: If you could read the labels on all the jars on the Magic Box set, you’d see in-jokes like Boreanaz Beads, Charisma Charms and Tony's Heads.

The Mummy's Hand: Actress and puppeteer Alice Dinnean Vernon, who also worked on Sesame Street, provided the mischievous mummy hand.

HOW MANY STAKES?

The Force is (fairly) strong with this one. 3 (out of 5)

R.I.P. Ralph and Jean

An early McQuarrie design for the Millenium Falcon


How come all the great conceptual artists are passing on this year?

First, the great Ralph McQuarrie last week, who literally drew my childhood imagination by pretty much designing and visualising George Lucas's Star Wars universe as well as the universe of the original Battlestar Galactica. I mean, that artwork had a massive influence on me and thrilled me no end. Still does. I have portfolios of it, posters etc. McQuarrie's work is deeply embedded in my psyche. But he also did lots of other work outside Star Wars and Galactica. Check out his website. His art is his legacy.


McQuarrie's early Luke vs Vader


McQuarrie's design for the original Battlestar Galactica - one of my personal fave pieces of his.

And now I hear that Moebius aka legendary French artist Jean Giraud has passed away too.

Damn!



Jean Giraud had a long and illustrious career in his native France but was also (rightly) lauded the world over by the likes of Marvel's Stan Lee who had him draw for him a special and award winning Silver Surfer miniseries in the late 80's.

Amongst the designs Giraud did as Moebius for films was his work on Ridley Scott's Alien, Disney's Tron, George Lucas's Willow and Luc Besson's The Fifth Element. Again, his art will be his legacy. Check out his website.

It's always depressing when the world loses great artists. Indivduals who only ever added joy and wonder to the lives of people like me.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that HR Giger is currently in good health.

R.I.P. Ralph and Jean :(

Raiders: The Adaptation. Why didn't I do this as a kid?

South America 1936

Okay, so I’ve watched twice now the legendary Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation.

Jeez! I can’t believe I’ve not seen this until now.

I know it isn't readily available to see, but even so, there are ways and means. And seeing as how Raiders is my favourite film bar none it’s almost criminal that I haven’t sought out and watched this little gem until now.

Time for a brief history lesson:

Raiders: The Adaptation is a 100-minute, almost shot for shot recreation of Spielberg’s classic movie put together by three young friends - Chris Strompolos, Eric Zala, and Jayson Lamb from Mississippi, USA - over a seven year period starting in 1982 and finishing in 1988. The boys were all just 12 when they started. It was filmed in and around family homes, cost hardly anything, and got made through sheer on-the-spot-ingenuity, enthusiasm and a deep love for the material. On its completion the movie had one local showing in 1989 and was then largely forgotten until 2003 when somehow Eli Roth got hold of a copy, loved it and sent it to Spielberg. Spielberg also loved it and contacted the now grown up boys to congratulate them, saying he’d watched it twice on the trot and felt deeply inspired by what they had done all those years ago. The film has since gone on to have a few limited screenings at festivals around the world and made international news when Paramount and producer Scott Rudin purchased the rights to the boys story.

So what of the film itself?

As I said earlier, this is almost a shot for shot remake. It’s shot on 80’s video so the overall picture quality is not great (fuzzy image, picture rolls now and again). But that by no means detracts from the sheer fun and charm of the whole enterprise. Yes, some of the kids look ridiculous in their roles (Toht and Sallah spring to mind) and the long overall filming time means actors often look older/younger/different hair etc. from scene to scene. But their enthusiasm shines through and more than compensates. Also the kids playing Indy, Marion and Belloq are actually pretty good. As Indy Chris Strompolos has some presence and gives some good Harrison; as Marion Angela Rodriguez delivers some of the same two-fisted spunk as Karen Allen; and as Belloq Eric Zala manages to be nicely slimy with added French accent.

Technically the film is also quite the wonder – especially being made in an age long before desktop computer effects were available. For starters the lighting is often a remarkably good match to that of Douglas Slocombe’s. And the recreated sets are either eerily similar to those of the original (Belloq’s tent, the Cairo café) or they are smaller yet still wonderfully accurate versions (South American idol temple, Marion’s bar, Well of Souls). Of the location work, the kids skilfully utilised local alleyways for the Cairo market/basket chase, and what seems to be a huge quarry/sandpit for the desert stuff and end island sequence. And most impressively, they used a real ship and a real WW2 submarine for Captain Katanga’s ship and the Nazi sub.

All the way through watching Raiders: The Adaptation, I was wondering, “How the hell are they gonna do…?” re. upcoming scenes and sequences. But virtually every Raiders sequence is recreated as accurately as humanly possible. The only major sequence sadly missing is the Indy/German mechanic fight at the flying wing. Guess they couldn’t find/recreate a giant flying wing. Still, everything else the kids managed to recreate is nothing short of spectacular. Don’t believe me? See their version of the truck chase. They obviously couldn’t get a horse so Indy just leaps on to the truck from up high. But the rest of the sequence is identical – even Indy going under the truck and being dragged along behind it! This and the earlier fire gags in the Tibetan bar fight looked so incredibly dangerous. I’m amazed their parents let them do it. But then maybe they didn’t know. Probably the latter. Heh.

The film culminates, as does as the original, with the opening of the Ark on the island. Here, the kids even managed some basic visual effects combined with plenty of dry ice and simple camera tricks to portray the whispy spirits and the angel of death as they appear and then attack the bad guys. We even have soldiers being shot through with lightening, melting Nazi’s and an exploding Belloq head!

Now, I just love stuff like this! I love it where fans, driven by nothing more than passion, go out and make something for no other reason than their love of the original material and with nothing to help them except their own boundless enthusiasm and honest creativity. It’s how the likes of Spielberg, Lucas, Abrams et al got started - making their own home movies inspired by others. So huge respect to those three then lads and their friends from Mississippi who went out there and managed this epic feat. What they set out to do and what they achieved is in perfect keeping with that same spirit of ‘just get out there and do it’ adventure epitomised by Indy himself.

Indy: “I don't know, I'm making this up as I go.”


A short tribute vid

Feel the Force (minus midichlorians)

Okay, so, I just finished watching The Empire Strikes Back on TV. I didn’t know it was on and just stumbled across it right as it was starting.

I hadn’t intended to watch a Star Wars movie today, but darn it, Irvin Kershner’s classic drew me in immediately. Those stunning FX, that incredible score, that smart, snappy script, that gorgeous Peter Suschitzky cinematography, and most of all those brilliant characters played to the hilt by the pitch perfect ensemble. Films don’t get much better than this. And when they do they tend to have Harrison Ford in them again, only brandishing a bullwhip instead of a blaster.

I haven’t watched The Empire Strikes Back for a few years now. Watching it again today it struck me just what a timeless, gripping, beautiful, character driven adventure it is from first to final frame. It is the best of the Star Wars saga. And if you disagree then you are just plain wrong. What Kershner and screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan did was to make Empire a darker film and more adult in tone and theme, and to push the characters to the forefront. And all without sacrificing any of the escapist fun of the original. They also introduced a rather old fashioned sense of character interplay – especially with the Han/Leia relationship with 3P0 as the clueless gooseberry. It kinda feels like a zippy, witty 1940’s romantic comedy…only set in a galaxy far, far away. Wonderful stuff. And of course this relationship culminates in the famous “I love you”, “I know,” moment - one of the greatest and most perfect moments in cinema history. The entire cast is great but it is Harrison Ford who truly leaps off the screen at you. The guy is a charisma explosion. Han Solo rocks!

Now, one major gripe.

The version shown was the latest messed up special edition version. Along with the 1997 added shots of the Wampa chewing on bloody meat (nice but totally pointless) and some amended shots opening out Cloud City (lovely and adds more scope), Lucas also latterly added in Ian McDairmid as the Emperor and Temuera Morrison’s voice for Boba Fett. Okay, now both of these things I can live with as they make sense in the overall saga.

But now here’s the kicker.

What I can’t abide nor forgive is Lucas hacking away at the editing of the final escape from Cloud City. For some utterly incomprehensible reason George insisted on dropping in two long sequences of Vader getting on board his shuttle on Bespin, then a few seconds later, his shuttle landing on the Star Destroyer and him disembarking. This is utterly pointless. Vader already tells an officer earlier to prepare his shuttle. In the original movie we next see him walking on to the Star Destroyer’s bridge, which works perfectly. C’mon George, the audience aren’t idiots. You already told us what was happening. We can add one plus one and make two. You didn’t have to spoil the razor sharp editing/pacing of the final escape by dropping in two utterly redundant sequences of someone getting on and then off a ship. Ah, but I forgot, you love those shots, don’t you George? The prequels are littered with them. Ships landing and taking off, landing and taking off, landing and…oh, you get the picture.

IT’S SHIT, GEORGE. IT’S POINTLESS AND DRAMATICALLY DEAD MATERIAL THAT SERVES NO FUCKING PURPOSE!

Okay, rant over.

New rant.

Despite the lousy tinkering mentioned above, Empire shows up just how shite the prequels are.

I rewatched Revenge of the Sith for the first time in ages a couple of weeks back and was shocked at how shit it actually is. And it’s the best of the prequels. Now, I still do enjoy them as they are still Star Wars films and do have some great individual moments and some mighty cool action sequences, but artistically and dramatically they are almost entirely dead weight. They are flashy but hollow, lifeless cartoons based on what feel like first draft screenplays that needed a ton of work to whip them in to any kind of shape. Look, if you don’t believe me just rewatch Empire and witness how to make a sleek, smart, exciting, funny, touching, character driven sci fi fantasy adventure. Then watch The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith and laugh for all the wrong reasons and then have a good cry at the right royal butt fucking George gave his own classic myth. And if you still don’t believe me go watch the infamous Plinkett reviews where he dissects each prequel and forces you to understand just how cack they really are. Great looking cack for sure. But cack all the same. Give me Luke, Han and Leia any day over the characterless mannequins of Episodes 1,2 & 3.

http://www.redlettermedia.com/plinkett.html

Anyway, I dread to think what has now been done to the original films for their Bluray release, or what is being planned for their eventual 3D upgrade. Please, just stop screwing around with the original trilogy, George. They are pretty much perfect…or at least they were until you started ‘prequelising’ them. And please put the Bespin escape in Empire back to how it originally was. And if for some reason you do feel the need to further tinker with your Star Wars films, then go tinker away with the prequels. Better still, dump them entirely and get in some other talented writers and directors to remake them from scratch, the kind of people who still have a grasp of character, drama and theme, who know how to make smart, compelling, emotional sci fi space operas that leap off of the screen. Kinda like what Joss Whedon did with Firefly, or what Ron Moore did with BSG. Just an idea.

May the force be with you. (Minus midichlorians)