BUFFY: 3.20 ‘THE PROM’

Short promo

WRITER: Marti Noxon
DIRECTOR: David Solomon

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Buffy and the gang are looking forward to their school prom. However this being Sunnydale nothing is going to go smoothly. Firstly Angel has heartbreaking news for poor Buff. He breaks up with her, as he knows they have no future together. He also tells her that after the Ascension he will be leaving Sunnydale to make things easier (plus he has his own TV series to get to in LA). As well as Buffy’s personal pain there is also the small matter of a bunch of vicious and human-brain-hungry hellhounds to deal with. They’ve been bred by a disaffected student and trained to kill anyone in formal wear. Determined that her friends will get their perfect high school prom, Buffy takes it upon herself to single-handedly hunt down and kill the beasts before they can start their high school student brain feast.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Hmm, nothing too obvious. The hellhound stuff is just a daft action-orientated hook to hang this episode’s important end of season story points on e.g. Angel’s decision to leave and Buffy being recognised and trusted by her fellow students as ‘Class Protector’.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Nasty student Tucker Wells and his vicious hellhounds. And possibly Angel for being pretty darn insensitive to poor Buff with his timing.

WHY IT ROCKS

The script. Marti Noxon wrote a deeply emotional and beautifully affecting script. Sure, the A story is silly hellhounds looking to chomp on formal attired students, but the really important stuff is what is happening with Buffy and Angel and with the rest of the gang. Angel’s realisation and decision is a long time coming, taking Joyce’s intervention as well as The Mayor’s earlier words to finally push him to act. After all he is the responsible adult. Buffy, as her mom points out, for all her smarts, strength and power, is a young girl in love, blinded by her love and by her lack of life experience. So it’s left up to Angel to make the responsible decision.

The acting. All are great here but once again SMG brings her big game. She runs the gamut in this episode from childlike glee to utter heartbreak and devastation to tough and stoic warrior. Sarah really does encapsulate the full character of Buffy Summers here. Sure, she is smart, hugely tough and quick with a witty quip or three but deep down she remains an emotionally inexperienced and fragile child. Something her mom knows very well and something others (Angel especially) easily forget.

Anya’s hilariously blunt, rude and inept way of asking Xander to be her date for the Prom.

Tucker Wells’ use of various famous high school movies to train the hellhounds to attack Sunnydale High Prom goers.

Angel’s disturbing dream of his and Buffy’s wedding day. The effects used to show Buffy burning to ash in the sun are horribly effective. But prior to her human torching Sarah does look truly beautiful in Buffy’s wedding dress. As she does later on in her prom dress.

Xander, Cordy and Cordy’s prom dress.

Giles’s exasperation with Wesley over Cordelia.

The awards ceremony at the Prom and Buffy being given her unexpected ‘Class Protector’ award by the Prom Committee – as represented by Jonathan. This could so easily have been extremely corny and daft. But luckily it is written, performed and directed with restraint and with genuine heart and doesn’t for a moment go in for needless sentimentality. It is simply a beautifully poigniant and perfectly charming scene. And it works because we all know that Buffy has truly earned this. And also it plays a major role in allowing to happen what needs to happen in the season finale. It’s emotional and character driven but also plot driven as well.

Buffy gets her one perfect high school moment right at the end, though it is tinged with sadness with the knowledge that all things – school, relationships, (favourite TV shows) etc. - come to an end.

WHY IT SUCKS

The hellhound plot serves as nothing but a functional element to add some action and monster mayhem to the story, though you could argue it hammers home the award Buffy gets and that people have noticed her and do appreciate her.

The hellhounds look rubbish. Just guys in silly rubber costumes prancing around on all fours.

For a guy who’s been around 240-plus years Angel sure can be a thoughtless inept tool at times. His timing for dumping Buffy is truly terrible. Couldn’t he have at least waited until after the Ascension as odds on they’d all die anyway so problem solved? Yeah, I know this wouldn’t have worked well dramatically or plot-wise seeing as how it has to be set up that Angel is leaving for his own series. But still, you can’t help but curse the guy for doing what he does when he does.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Buffy becomes ‘Class Protector’ in one of the series’ most perfect scenes.


DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Anya (asking Xander to the Prom): “Men are evil. Will you go with me?”
Xander: “One of us is very confused, and I honestly don't know which.”
Anya: "Look, I know you find me attractive; I've seen you looking at my breasts."
Xander: "Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open."

Giles (to Buffy regarding her break-up with Angel): "I understand this sort of thing requires ice cream of some kind."

Giles (to Wesley, regarding Cordelia): "For God's sake, man, she's eighteen. And you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just have at it, would you? And stop fluttering about."

Buffy (to the gang, determined): “I'm gonna give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every person on the face of the Earth to do it.”
Xander (looking worried): “Yay?”

Jonathan: “We have one more award to give out. Is Buffy Summers here tonight? Did she....um...This is actually a new category. First time ever. I guess there were a lot of write in ballots and the prom committee asked me to read this. "We're not good friends. Most of us never found the time to get to know you. But that doesn't mean we haven't noticed you. We don't talk about it much, but it's no secret that Sunnydale High isn't really like other high schools. A lot of weird stuff happens here."”
Student: “Zombies!”
Student: “Hyena people!”
Student: “Snyder”
Jonathan (continuing): "But whenever there was a problem or something creepy happened, you seemed to show up and stop it. Most of the people here have been saved by you. Or helped by you at one time or another. We're proud to say that the class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate of any graduating class in Sunnydale history. And we know that at least part of that is because of you. So the senior class offers its thanks and gives you, uh... this." It's from all of us. And it has written here, Buffy Summers — Class Protector.”

AND ANOTHER THING

The movies that Tucker used to train the hellhounds were: Prom Night, Pump Up the Volume (which Seth Green and Juliet Landau were in), Prom Night IV, Pretty in Pink, The Club, and Carrie.

Buffy's wedding dress in Angel’s dream was designed by famous fashion designer Vera Wang.

Sarah didn't actually get to go to her own prom. She was at the Emmy Awards instead.

The lovely song that Buffy and Angel dance to at the end is called Wild Horses and is performed by The Sundays (available on the first Buffy the Vampire Slayer soundtrack). It is actually a cover of a song by The Rolling Stones.

HOW MANY STAKES?

It’s all very PROMising for the big finale. 3.5 (out of 5)

MOVIES: COOL MUTANTS, PSYCHO MOTHERS, KILLER KIDS AND A DETECTIVE DOG

HANNA

Saoirse Ronan is Hanna, the teenage super assassin raised in a forest who's eventually unleashed in to the world by her rogue spy daddy Eric Bana so that she can learn the truth about her dead mother, herself and life in general. Joe (Atonement) Wright crafts a strange yet compelling fairytale/action thriller /coming of age story following Hanna as she makes friends, busts heads and tries to avoid cruel and cold-hearted Cate Blanchett as a wicked stepmother type who wants Hanna dead in order to keep certain secrets buried. Blanchett and Bana are great as always but with her white hair and pale skin, Ronan is just superb as the deceptively delicate, wonderfully odd, viciously brutal, yet vulnerable and sweetly innocent Hanna. The pulsing Chemical Brothers score is also immensely effective. An original spin on a familiar tale. 4 (out of 5)


X-MEN: FIRST CLASS
Mathew (Kick-Ass) Vaughn directs this utterly brilliant 1960’s set prequel to Bryan Singer’s fantastic X-Men and X2 with James McAvoy as a young Prof. X meeting up with Michael Fassbender’s Nazi hunting Magneto to stop evil Kevin Bacon from starting World War 3. Rich in story and character, X-Men: First Class is a slick and exciting superhero action adventure with genuine heart and soul as well as some pulse quickening action and mighty fine spectacle. The entire cast is great but the never better Fassbender is the real star here. The A list awaits him. So, forget the barely adequate X-Men: The Last Stand and the godawful X-Men origins: Wolverine, this one’s the real X deal. 5 (out of 5)


MOTHER’S DAY
Darren Lynn Bousman (Saw 2, 3, 4) directs this decidedly nasty, violent, sadistic remake of a dodgy 80’s horror flick. Rebecca DeMornay is the psycho mother who along with her three sons and one daughter invade the home of a young couple in search of a stash of hidden money. Murder and bloody torture follow as mother is convinced the homeowners are holding out on her and her nutty, nasty brood. Mother’s Day is a well-made film and quite a gruelling watch. It has a good cast (especially DeMornay) and explores familiar themes of family, loyalty and the extremes people can go to given the right circumstances. It’s a bit too long and a bit too torture porn for my tastes but overall Mother’s Day is an intense and reasonably interesting affair. 3 (out of 5)


DYLAN DOG: DEAD OF NIGHT

Brandon Routh is Dylan Dog, a private detective secretly charged with keeping the supernatural denizens of New Orleans in check. When a young woman hires Dylan to find out what killed her father and why, he is drawn in to a supernatural conspiracy which could mean the end for all human kind. Based upon a popular comic book from Italy, Dylan Dog: Dead of Night is, according to the book’s fans, a total travesty. Now I’ve never read the comic so I can’t judge. What I can say is that this movie is a very cheap, very silly, monster movie romp. I found it to be perfectly acceptable, good natured fun - thanks mostly to its goofy tone, the easy low key charm of Routh (who should still be Superman) and the evocative New Orleans location. Okay, so the effects are often laughably poor, the overall story utterly predictable and by the numbers, and Sam Huntingdon as Dylan’s recently zombiefied friend intensely annoying. Stop SHOUTING! But you know what? I enjoyed it. Sue me. It's a cheap, cheesy, silly, B movie monster mash-up. Don’t put this Dog down just yet. 3 (out of 5)


GREEN LANTERN
Martin Campbell’s mega budget space opera/superhero adventure stars Ryan Reynolds as the power ring wielding intergalactic peacekeeper in glowy green tights. Now, this is a great looking movie for sure. It’s glossy as all hell. Problem is the script is clunky and muddled and stuffed to the gills with bad dialogue. The structure and pacing is also totally off with the film feeling as if important chunks are missing while other often dull and unimportant stuff just grinds on and on. The action works well for the most part (love the dogfight near the start) and the space-set stuff is actuallly pretty darn cool. Also Reynolds is a great leading man. He brims with likeable charisma even when he's being a cocky git. It’s just a shame more care wasn’t taken in the writing. Not as awful as most critics would have us believe, Green Lantern is a solidly watchable effort with real flashes of greatness that are sadly overshadowed by quite a bit of shoddiness. A shame. 3 (out of 5)


EDEN LAKE
Michael Fassbender (him again) takes his sweet primary school teacher girlfriend Kelly Reilly to a remote beauty spot for a weekend of camping in order to propose. Unfortunately they run in to a gang of thuggish and thoroughly despicable local teenagers who, after an unfortunate run in with Fassbender, take it upon themselves to hunt down and torture the nice young middle class couple. Eden Lake is a nasty little film. Like Mother’s Day it is a bit too much torture porn for my tastes. But also like Mother’s Day it is well made and has some interesting observations and points to make about society and its attitudes towards children. It also helps that Fassbender is good even if his character does some well stupid things. But cute Kelly Reilly is even better. She gives a very strong and affecting performance as the initially sweet and caring Jenny who’s eventually driven to become the thing she hates most. 3 (out of 5)

BUFFY: 3.19 'CHOICES'

Short promo for the episode

WRITER: David Fury
DIRECTOR: James A. Contner

WHAT'S THE SITCH?

Buffy gets good news about her choice of potential colleges. She has been accepted to several including some really good ones and desperately wants to leave town if /when she graduates. Unfortunately new Watcher Wesley is having none of this and tells Buffy she must stay and guard the Hellmouth. If she can stop the coming ascension Buffy believes that she can still go away to school and leave Giles and co to keep the common or garden vamps at bay until she comes back in her college breaks. So with this in mind Buffy becomes proactive and takes the fight to the Mayor. She, Angel and Willow steal from the Mayor the mystical Box of Gavrok, which forms an integral part of his ascension. Problem is Willow goes and gets captured by Faith before she can escape. And so Buffy proposes a swap – the box of Gavrok for Willow. The Mayor accepts. And so the scene is set for a night time covert exchange – a witch for a box. But as the two parties gather at Sunnydale High the box accidentally lets loose a whole bunch of creepy nasties on the gathered foes.

WHAT'S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

As with a lot of Buffy episodes the theme is right there in the title. In this episode Buffy and the gang are making decisions about their futures, about where life will take them when school finishes…providing they survive graduation of course. It’s about growing up and moving on. For Buffy and Willow this is all about where to go to college, about them breaking free of their old life. Meanwhile Xander is also limited by not being the academic type. He seems destined for the open road, for the University of Life. And at the same time Angel is starting to wrestle with the huge choice he is soon going to make; a choice brilliantly vocalised by the Mayor when he spells out to both vampire and slayer the hard truth about their relationship.

WHO'S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

The Mayor, Faith, and billions of horrid spider things contained in the Box of Gavrok.

WHY IT ROCKS

The theme of choices. It’s an important one especially in this stage of a young person’s life. What they now do when school days are over; where they go; what they try to become; what path to choose in life. For Buffy that path seems set in stone, and though she tries valiantly to take another, she remains firmly on the path marked Sunnydale slayer.

The Mayor. Once again Harry Groener shows us why he is the best Buffy big bad ever. The guy isn’t just plain evil. He has depth and is a complex guy who just can’t help offering fatherly advice and guidance to young people…even ones he intends to kill horribly. And his advice is sound.

Stealing the Box of Gavrok. Buffy goes all Mission: Impossible by being lowered in a harness to snatch the box without setting off alarms. But being Buffy it all goes wrong and some witty fisticuffs soon become needed.

Willow. Willow is great in this episode. She stands up to Faith beautifully, telling her some hard home truths. Also gotta love her using her floaty pencil trick to dust a vamp. Heh.

Faith and her new knife.

Snyder. Armin Shimerman is fab as Principle Snyder. He’s on a drug busting crusade, convinced all his students are using or selling drugs but only finding innocent packed lunches much to his annoyance. Then when he finds Buffy and the gang late at night in the school he thinks he’s hit pay dirt. Unfortunately evil spiders escaping a magical box quickly prove him wrong.

Oz’s reaction to the debate about whether or not to bargain for Willow’s release.

WHY IT SUCKS

Thematically it works fine but the overall story concerning the Box of Gavrok is nothing too special.

IT'S BUFFTASTIC

Willow standing up to Faith.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Willow: “Hey, I eat danger for breakfast.”
Xander: “But, oddly enough, she panics in the face of breakfast foods.”

Buffy: “Faith's turn to the dark side of the Force pretty much put the proverbial kibosh on any away plans for me.”

Buffy (about Oxford): "That's where they make Gileses."

Buffy: “Unfortunately that's all I could get out of my informant before his aggressive tendencies forced me to introduce him to Mr. Pointy.”

Willow (to Faith): "I know you had a tough life. I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo hoo! Poor you."

Principal Snyder (to Buffy and the gang): "You! All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?"

AND ANOTHER THING

The City Hall rooftop is the same set used for the library rooftop in season 1 finale ‘Prophecy Girl’.

HOW MANY STAKES?

I choose 3 (out of 5)

Buffy 3.18 'Earshot'

Short episode promo

WRITER: Jane Espenson
DIRECTOR: Regis Kimble

WHAT'S THE SITCH?

Buffy is out slaying when in the midst of battle with a pair of demons one of them scratches her hand right before it feels the business end of Mr Pointy. Its demon buddy escapes leaving Buff with a really itchy hand. As it turns out Buffy was scratched by a demon that can pass on one of its traits – the so-called Aspect of the Demon. Hearing this from Giles, Buffy starts worrying that she is gonna grow horns or, as Willow points out, if it was a boy demon something more, er, boyish! Buffy quickly discovers that her aspect gained is the ability to hear what everyone around her is thinking. At first this is exciting and fun but it soon becomes painful and debilitating and will lead to eventual insanity unless Giles, Angel and the gang can find a cure. To make matters worse Buffy heard the thoughts of someone at school planning a massacre at Sunnydale High. So the race is on to save Buff from insanity and to identify and stop a potential mass killer.

WHAT'S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Nobody in their right mind would want to be able to know others inner most thoughts. However this episode by the great Jane Espenson tells us that if we could then we’d discover that everyone else is in just as much pain and is just as insecure and messed up as we are. That people ignore others pain is because they are far too busy dealing with their own pain. Of course this is all a bit touchy feely and perhaps over dramatic but it just tells us to not think that other seemingly well adjusted and happy people don’t have their own major issues to deal with. Sure, some more than others. But in the end we’re all human and we all hurt. It’s as simple as that.

WHO'S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

An unknown (‘til the very end) potential killer.

WHY IT ROCKS

The concept. It’s a simple and brilliant concept. What would we do and how would life be if we could hear everyone’s inner most thoughts? Sounds fab and really useful. But there would also be a terrible price to pay. Would we really want to know what everyone really thought of us?

The great Jane Espenson ™. This is one of Jane’s best scripts and is typically brilliant work from the lady. Earshot balances smart, tender, thoughtful musings on identity, loneliness and pain with sly social satire and some big laugh out loud comedy.

It’s a mystery. The identity of the potential mass killer is kept secret right to the very end with lots of red herrings thrown in. Early on Xander accidentally identifies the real culprit in a throwaway gag that nobody takes notice of. See? The Xan-man often speaks unwitting truth in jest.

Sarah Michelle Gellar. SMG does a bang up job in this episode. She goes from nervous worry while waiting for her Aspect of the Demon, to gleeful excitement when she realises all the possibilities of her new ‘gift’, to caring thoughtfulness when dealing with a deeply troubled student. And her comedy instincts are great too – witness her hearing the thoughts of boys lusting after her and see how she changes her stance while subtly preening herself. Most amusing.

The funny. Being a Jane Espenson episode Earshot is very, very funny. I totally forgot about the classic scene in the library as Buffy tells her friends about her being able to hear all their thoughts. Of course almost everything Xander thinks about is sex, causing Buffy to look at him with disgust and Xander to then run away in shame. LOL

Cordy. Out of everyone it is Cordy who is least affected by Buffy’s new ability. Simply, everything Cordy thinks she says. She has no internal filter from brain to mouth. Which leads to some big funny.

Giles and the tree. The episode’s final moments sees Buffy revealing to Giles that she now knows he and her mom had sex, on top of a police car, twice. This causes a shocked Giles to walk in to a tree. Heh.

WHY IT SUCKS

The two mouthless demons are particularly rubbery looking monsters. They are okay, but just a bit too rubbery for my tastes.

IT'S BUFFTASTIC

The library mind reading scene. Brilliance of story, theme, character and major league funny coming together as a seamless whole.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Xander (thinking, panicking): What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time. Sex. Help! Four times five is thirty. Five times six is thirty-two. Naked girls. Naked women. Naked Buffy. Oh, stop me!
Buffy: “God Xander! Is that all you think about?”
Xander: “Actually...bye!”

Xander (watching the Cheerleaders cheering): “They really are very good.”
Oz: “Their spellings improved.”

Cordelia: “I still have knee marks on my back...[get some looks] from the pyramid.”

Buffy (to Giles): "Sure, we can work out after school. You know, if you're not too busy having sex with my mother!"
Giles (walking into a tree): "Ugh!"


AND ANOTHER THING...

The main plot line of Earshot is about the potential mass killing of students at a U.S. High School by another student. It was a brave subject for Joss and co. to tackle, taking on the possible reasons for such things happening. Unfortunately it was on April 20th 1999 that the awful events at Columbine High School occurred…less than one week before Earshot was due to air. As a result, Joss and the WB pulled the episode out of respect. It was finally aired as a one-off in Sept 1999. There is controversy over whether the ep should have been pulled at all. Apparently the WB were reluctant to ever show it. But cool heads won out and Earshot did eventually get aired. Personally I think the right decision was made. It should have been pulled at the time out of respect. But the episode has something to say about why such terrible events occur and so should indeed be seen by audiences. Luckily there is nothing in the episode to harm the flow of the main season arc so its being pulled in April 99 didn’t effect the overall story of season 3.

How many stakes?

Read my mind… 4.5 (out of 5)

Stake Land: Horror With Bite

Okay, so this was quite the surprise.

It's the near future and the world has been ravaged by feral vampires. In North America humanity is reduced to pockets of small isolated communities struggling to survive against the blood hungry night walkers as well as against bands of roving religious extremists – basically racists, rapists and other assorted sickos using their own twisted take on religion to justify what they do. Amongst it all, a lone man rescues a boy from a vampire attack that kills his parents, trains him to fight, and takes him on a journey up north, heading for the promised New Eden (i.e. Canada). Along the way, the pair hook up with (and lose) various people, clash with nutters and vamps, and generally try to survive long enough to reach the fabled place of peace.

Before I started watching it I didn’t know what to expect of Stake Land. I hadn't seen the trailer. I just thought it would be some kind of pulpy action/horror flick, like Underworld or John Carpenter’s Vampires.

Not at all.

It turns out that Stake Land has far more in common with the likes of Frank Darabont’s The Mist and The Walking Dead, classic Romero, The Road, Winter’s Bone and the recent Monsters.

Like the best horror or genre films, Stake Land is all about people. It's a slow burn tale whose primary themes are of family, parenting, and the dangers of religious extremism, but also of faith and sacrifice. Though critical of religion, faith is still very much at the heart of this story with the whole journey north being one baased on pure faith. After all, the destination is called New Eden. But this feels more like a faith in people and humanity than in any supernatural force.

The film's direction by Jim Mickle is gritty and naturalistic. Great use is made of the rugged, desolate and worn-down locations (very Winter’s Bone) with the photography equally effective being drained of almost all colour and warmth. The tone of the piece is deadly serious, unrelentingly grim and uncomfortably chilly. Dialogue is sparse with long stretches of silence. The emphasis here is on mood and on theme.

The cast, all very good, includes an almost unrecognisable Kelly McGillis as an ageing nun, and cute Danielle Harris from the Halloween remake as a pregnant girl the man and boy hook up with.

Though this is an arty, serious genre film, there is still some quality vamp slaying action to be had. Much of the action comes often in short, sharp, violent bursts with my personal fave being the religious nutters using helicopters to drop live vamps in to the midst of a small community’s night-time party, thus causing utter bloody mayhem.

In short, if you like your horror films to be smart and more than just monsters and mayhem, then give Stake Land a go. It's not perfect and may be too dour and fun-free for many, but I was completely hooked. 4 (out of 5)

Movies: From Anime to Foos to Fairytales

SUMMER WARS


Summer Wars is a 2009 Japanese anime film directed by Mamoru Hosoda who previously made the critically acclaimed The Girl Who Leapt Through Time.

Kenji is a school kid and math genius who is taken by fellow student Natsuki to stay at her huge family home miles from the city to celebrate her grandmother's 90th birthday. However, while there, Kenji is falsely implicated in the hacking of a virtual world called Oz by an artificial intelligence. Oz is the biggest single media environment on the planet, a place where billions of people have accounts and avatars, where governments and businesses have as much a presence as they do in the real world. As the AI gradually takes over Oz, causing world-wide chaos, Kenji joins forces with Natsuki’s extended and connected family to repair the damage done and to find a way to stop the artificial intelligence before it ruins the entire world, both virtual and real.

Summer Wars is an odd film. Being anime that’s kind of a given, I know. But I’ve never before seen a movie that is part smart and affecting family drama, part high school comedy/romance, part virtual reality cyber actioner, part global apocalypse, part conspiracy thriller. But Summer Wars melds all of these competing genres in to a sweet, smart, watchable and winning whole. The animation is great with the beautiful rural backdrops of the family home merging seamlessly with the weird and manga-ish styles of Oz. But what really makes this work is that amidst all the weirdness and cyber action, Summer Wars is at heart a story about family and how families band together in times of need. The story may be bonkers but the characters and their motivations are all down to earth and relatable. You can’t help but cheer Kenji on in his fight as well as feel a longing to be part of a family like the Jinnouchi family, one so big, yet so close and loyal, and governed over by the wise and strong as steel grandma.

Being a tad too long and probably a bit too odd for most western movie watchers, Summer Wars remains a smart, fun and sweetly human slice of Japanese sci fi. 4 (out of 5)



RED RIDING HOOD

Twilight director Catherine Hardwick delivers a good looking film with a good cast including Amanda Seyfried, Gary Oldman, Virginia Madsen, Billy Burke and Julie Christie. But ultimately the film fails because all it is is just another dull teenage love triangle thing with the only interesting plot thread being Amanda trying to figure out the identity of the werewolf terrorising her village. But even that mystery is, sadly, not very mysterious or interesting. Plus the film is not scary at all with the werewolf itself just a large and utterly unconvincing CGI blob.

Now, I love classic fairytales. And I love seeing them reinterpreted. Joss Whedon did some great stuff on Buffy. More recently Steven Moffat has done a great job turning Doctor Who in to a modern fairytale. Unfortunately this particular telling of Red Riding Hood is far more concerned with being a Twilight-esque teen love story than it is with exploring the themes and meanings behind classic fairytales. It just made me want to go watch Neil Jordan's brilliant The Company of Wolves again, a film based on the works of Angela Carter that explored the meanings behind this old story, making it weird, sexually enticing and nightmarishly beautiful.

In the end, Catherine Hardwick's Red Riding Hood is mildly diverting tosh, if only for pretty Amanda and the pretty set designs and photography. But ultimately it's a pointless, toothess, hollow, slice of teen pap that does nothing with its fairytale aspirations. A shame. 2.5 (out of 5)



FOO FIGHTERS: BACK AND FORTH

It’s easy to forget just what an awesome band the Foo's are, largely thanks to the ridiculously talented, charismatic, down to earth Dave Grohl. Before watching this I didn't know much about the actual band itself, other than it was Grohl who founded it post-Nirvana. I didn't know, for instance, that the first album was the same tape of songs Dave had written and then recorded all by himself before the band had even been formed. He just called the tape 'Foo Fighters' so people wouldn't know it was him. Then when the band was formed and it came time to release and album he just put out the very same tape. Job done. My fave moment in the doc was seeing Grohl on stage at Wembley in 2008 fighting back tears of amazement at how far they'd come as a band. Great stuff. 4 (out of 5)



UNKNOWN

Liam Neeson goes to Berlin with his wife, has an accident, recovers, but nobody then recognises him to be who he says he is. An impostor is now with his wife, who also swears she doesn’t know him. What’s going on? Cue lots of running around Berlin, car chases and general mystery and mayhem as Liam fights to discover the truth of his identity.

Unknown reminded me of quite a few movies I've seen before. I knew a twist was coming and having seen lots of films like this I managed to work it our pretty quickly, though some of the nuances of what else was going on thankfully remained a surprise. Neeson is great in the lead, and as his unwilling helper, Diane Kruger is pretty good too. As Neeson’s wife, January Jones is lovely and icy (you can see why she was cast as Emma Frost) and veteran actor Bruno Ganz does a great job as an old, world-weary ex-Stazi agent.

Slickly directed with that Euro thriller feel, Warner Bros. and Joel Silver have managed a good impression of a Luc Besson/Europacorp thriller. All in all this is well-made and reasonably compelling tosh. 3 (out of 5)



PRIEST

Post apocalyptic vampire slaying action with Paul Bettany as a rogue warrior priest who heads out of his huge Mega-City, in to the Cursed Earth to rescue his kidnapped niece from a pack of marauding vamps before going on to save his short sighted city from potential vampire destruction. Priest is essentially The Searchers meets Judge Dredd with vampires by way of a Paul (Resident Evil) Anderson film. This is low brow pulp sci fi/horror (nothing wrong with that) adapted from a graphic novel that I’ve never read. The set-up is fine and quite interesting if highly derivative. The FX are pretty good, and the cast, including Bettany, Karl Urban and Maggie Q, all do their bit. This is brainless harmless fun but like Paul Anderson films it tries too hard to be ‘stylish’ (i.e. lots of needless slo mo, editing farts, CGI) instead of being at least a tiny bit smart. Still, it’s miles better than Anderson’s last cinematic abortion Resident Evil: Afterlife and Priest’s director’s own previous effort, the tiresome angel vs. angel flick Legion. 3 (out of 5)