BUFFY 5.13: BLOODTIES

Promo for this episode

WRITER: Steven S. DeKnight

DIRECTOR: Michael Gershman

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Uh oh, it’s another Buffy birthday, which means things aren’t gonna go well. Today’s the day our girl turns 20. And as Buff reluctantly holds a party at her house, poor Dawnie’s world goes and crumbles around her when, after sneaking a look at Giles’s diaries, she finds out that she is in fact the Key. Traumatised, she runs away, and ends up running into Ben at the hospital, letting slip to him what she really is. Hearing this news, Ben freaks out and morphs into Glory, who thankfully doesn’t know what her alter ego Ben knows about Dawn. Glory threatens a terrified Dawn, seeking information, and is about to brain suck the niblet when Buffy and co. arrive to save lil sis.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

The whole Dawn story line plays now as a metaphor for adoption, for a child discovering that he/she is not actually blood related to their family and the feelings that might then engender: difference, isolation, anger, a feeling of having lived a lie.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Glory

WHY IT ROCKS

Poor Dawnie. The theme as descried above is played out well and proves quite affecting. Who could possibly imagine how poor Dawn is feeling? Her entire life is a lie and she is in fact only six months old. The metaphor for adoption is a smart one which I’m sure lots of people in similar circumstances could relate to. Michelle Trachtenberg does an excellent job here. This is her episode. She is front and centre and really sells the hurt, confusion, disorientation and downright anger at Dawn’s situation.

Spike and Dawn do some B & E. Love the almost childish chemistry between these two. Dawn, sneaking out of the house to go to the Magic Box, runs in to Spike. She tells him she’s gonna break in and steal stuff. He likes that idea. Dawn asks if he’d like to come along. He readily agrees. Together the pair breaks in to the shop but not before Dawn teases Spike about not being scary or bad any more, saying that she’s badder than him, to which he replies indignantly, “Are not.” Heh.

Willow and Tara’s spell. The witches’ last minute solution to getting rid of Glory is inspired and leads to a most amusing reaction from our hell god as she is teleported high up in to the atmosphere over Sunnydale…then plummets to the earth in a fiery streak.

WHY IT SUCKS

The whole Knights of Byzantium thing still kinda bugs. These blatantly medieval types don’t fit in well to any kind of modern world. Even their pseudo ye olde English way of speaking is just silly.

ITS BUFFTASTIC

Glory getting teleported “Oh shi…!”

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Xander: We're goin' up against a god. An actual mightier-than-thou god.
Willow: Well, you know what they say. The bigger they are—
Anya: The faster they stomp you into nothing.

Buffy: How was school today?
Dawn: Um, the usual. Big square building filled with boredom and despair.
Buffy: Just how I remember it.

Anya (holding the frilly dress Buffy received): Oh, it's just so lovely! Ooh, I wish it was mine! (The group gives her a funny look.) Oh, like you weren't all thinking the same thing!
Giles: I'm fairly certain I wasn't. (whispers to Xander) I've got one just like it.

Dawn: You wanna come steal some stuff?
Spike: Yeah, all right.

Buffy: Maybe it's time to start a new tradition. Birthdays without boyfriends. It could be just as much fun!
Willow: Preaching to the choir here, baby.

Glory (to Dawn): I've been meaning to send the Slayer a message. And I could use a little pick-me-up. Two birds, one stone, and boom! You have yummy dead birds.

Glory (materialising high up over Sunnydale) Oh shi…!

AND ANOTHER THING

This is the first episode of Buffy written by Steven S. DeKnight who would go on to write/produce for Angel and Dollhouse and create/write/produce Spartacus: Blood and Sand.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Gotta feel for poor Dawn. 3.5 (out of 5)

BUFFY 5.12: CHECKPOINT

Teaser for the ep.

WRITER: Doug Petrie, Jane Espenson

DIRECTOR: Nick Marck

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

The Watchers Council comes to Sunnydale bringing with them information as to who (or what) Glory really is. But Chief Watcher Quentin Travers (Harris Yulin) refuses to turn over the information unless Buffy passes a series of exhaustive tests of her skills, strategies, and methodology. Making things even worse for the Buffster, Glory pays a visit to her at home and threatens her family unless she turns over the Key. As if that’s not bad enough a bunch of guys in chainmail brandishing swords appear from nowhere and attack her, They call themselves the Knights of Byzantium, an ancient order sworn to destroy the Key and all who protect it. Buffy wins the battle but the knights’ promise that legions of them will follow. This is the last straw for Buff and she finally realises something: she is the one with the power. She has power over them all: the Watchers, Glory, the Knights. She shares her revelation with Quentin, informing him that they, the Watchers, are useless without her and that she is now in charge. She orders him to reinstate Giles with full back pay and to give her all the info they have on Glory. His bluff called, Travers agrees and tells Buffy that Glory is no demon. She’s a god.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

It’s about realising and using the power you have, not letting others use you, take advantage, walk all over you. Through most of the episode Buffy is being dismissed and talked down to by so-called authority figures. Buffy’s lecturer patronises her because she dares to ask questions and to challenge his view of history. Glory tells her she is nothing to her and that she could kill her in an instant. And the Watchers try to reassert their authority over her by withholding valuable knowledge and threatening to get Giles kicked out of the country. But they have all made a big mistake. It is all just bluff. And realising this, Buffy calls those bluffs.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Glory and the Watchers Council

WHY IT ROCKS

Girl power actualised. A great theme and Buffy’s realisation of her power and her then putting those damn Watchers in their place is fantastic. Her big scene at the end is perfectly written and performed and we are right their with the Scoobies cheering the Buffster on. You go girl!

SMG and Tony Head. All the performances by the regulars are great, but it is SMG and Tony Head who are at the heart of things here. And they are both firing on all cylinders. The Giles and Buffy father/daughter mentor/student relationship is at the core of this episode. They have quiet heart to hearts with Giles making sure Buffy knows that she has done nothing wrong, that nobody else could ever have done any better than she. His pride in her shines throughout, especially when she finally puts Travers and co. in their place. Once more Giles proves to be the perfect father figure, and as Buffy freely tells him, she can’t lose him when the Watchers threaten to get him kicked out of the country. A portent of things soon to come in the realm of Buffyverse parental figures.

Hanging at Spike’s crib. Buff takes her mom and sister to stay with Spike so he can protect them from Glory. Of course Spike agrees. He’d do anything to get Buffy’s favour. But he already has a nice relationship with Joyce, a weird kind of mother/son thing going on. Plus they also share a common passion for daytime soap Passions. And Spike also kinda gets Dawn too, how she’s troubled and is full of teenage hormones. They will go on to form a kind of charmingly odd big brother/lil sis bond.

WHY IT SUCKS

The Knights of Byzantium are a goofy looking lot in their middle ages style armour and chain mail. Not very practical for 21st century living. Or for helping keep them a secret.

ITS BUFFTASTIC

Buffy takes the power back. Yeah!

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Glory: Sunnydale's got too many demons and not enough retail outlets.

Giles (to the Council members): You all stand around and look sombre. (Indeed they do.) Good job.

Giles (to Travers, very angrily): She's not your bloody instrument and you have no right to do any of this!

Giles: Buffy, calm down. The scandal here is not anything you've done wrong, it's the way they're behaving. Holding what they know hostage, with a gun pointed at my bleeding green card no less. It's humiliating.

Phillip: So. You have no special skills, or powers, or knowledge that you bring to the mix? Neither of you?
Anya: Just enthusiasm for killing the demons. Go deadness for the demons!

Buffy: There isn't gonna be a review.
Quentin: Sorry?
Buffy: No review. No interrogation. No questions you know I can't answer. No hoops. No jumps. (Nigel is about to speak.) No interruptions. See, I've had a lot of people talking at me in the last few days. Everyone just lining up to tell me how unimportant I am. And I've finally figured out why. Power. I have it. They don't. This bothers them. Glory came to my home today.
Giles: Buffy are you all—
Buffy: Just to talk. She told me I'm a bug, I'm a flea, that she could squash me in a second. Only she didn't. She came into my home, and we talked. We had what in her warped brain probably passes for a civilized conversation. Why? Because she needs something from me. Because I have power over her. You guys didn't come all the way from England to determine whether I was good enough to be let back in. You came to beg me to let you back in. To give your jobs, your lives, some semblance of meaning.
Nigel: This is beyond insolence— (Buffy hurls the sword at him, which he must jump aside to avoid.)
Buffy: I'm fairly certain I said no interruptions.

AND ANOTHER THING

Veteran American character actor Harris Yulin reprises his role of stuffy English Watcher Quentin Travers last seen in season three’s Helpless. He’ll appear once more in season seven’s Never Leave Me.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Buff tells it like it is. 4 (out of 5)

BUFFY 5.11: TRIANGLE

Some of Anya’s best bits

WRITER: Jane Espenson

DIRECTOR: Christopher Hibler

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Giles heads off to England to meet with the Watcher’s Council to discuss Glory leaving Anya in charge of the Magic Box. Tensions between Anya and Willow soon arise over Willow using ingredients for spells without paying. But it is obvious this is just a cover for far more deep seated issues between the pair, mostly revolving around Xander. Much arguing and tomfoolery eventually leads to a giant troll called Olaf (who happens to be an ex boyfriend of Anya’s) being accidentally released from a magic crystal and then going on the rampage around town looking for ale to drink, wenches to have his way with, and fat little babies to eat. Working together Anya and Willow must track down big bad Troll and get him back in the crystal before he can wreak any more havoc.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

The ol’ tension between the best friend and the girl friend, each one jealous of the other, afraid they are gonna hurt or ‘take away’ the poor sap stuck in the middle. In this case Xander.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Olaf the troll

WHY IT ROCKS

It’s a three-way. The idea behind this episode is pretty fun and is something lots of people can relate to (not the troll, the girlfriend/best friend thing). The tension between Willow and Anya has been building for a while now and it blows up nicely in this episode.

Jane Espenson brings the funny. Yep, Triangle is a Jane Espenson script, and as such it brings a lot of funny to the party. It’s pretty over the top in places (Olaf himself is a totally OTT creation) and veers from silly slapstick to witty wordplay to almost French farce in places. But it works.

Comedy direction. Veteran TV director Christopher Hibler brings his long held expertise with comedy to this episode. The direction of the comedy and its timing is impeccable leading to several laugh out loud moments.

Olaf the troll. Olaf is a great creation brought hilariously to life by long time ER actor Abraham Benrubi who’s clearly having a whale of a time shouting every line while smashing stuff up and hunting down ale to drink, wenches to have his way with, and fat tasty babies to eat. Benrubi returned to the role in the season 7 episode ‘Selfless’.

Spike. Once again James Marsters is all kinds of awesome in this ep. The scene where he practices giving a box of chocolates to a fake Buffy (a mannequin with blond wig on) before getting in a one sided argument with said mannequin, then attacking it…then calmly resetting it and starting again is hilarious. His encounter with Olaf at the Bronze is equally good and very funny, especially when Xander suggests to Spike that he could maybe fight the troll and stop his rampage and Spike answers nonchalantly, “Yeah, I could do that. But I’m paralysed with not caring very much.”

Anya. As always Emma Caulfield is very funny and very cute as ex-vengeance demon Anya whose past comes back to haunt her when it is revealed that Olaf was an ex of hers from back in the dark ages who she turned in to a troll after he cheated on her. Turns out it was that act that got her the job of becoming a vengeance demon.

WHY IT SUCKS

Very silly. This is one of the most out and out silly episodes of the entire run of the show. That’s not necessarily a bad thing though, as this show does silly very, very well and still always manages to keep a serious theme going. But the goofy tone is kinda unrelenting. Even Buffy’s emotional state post-Riley leaving is played for laughs with her breaking down in to exaggerated comedy tears every time something remotely sad happens.

Where did Riley go? How do Buffy and the rest of the gang know so much about Riley's "secret" mission? He didn't tell her where he was going and never mentioned anything to do with "the jungle".

Anya the driver. Anya tells Willow that she's never driven before, but in Graduation Day Part One, she told Xander she had a car outside, and suggested that they leave Sunnydale, taking turns driving.

ITS BUFFTASTIC

Spike’s rant at, and then attacking of his ‘practice’ Buffy mannequin.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Anya: If you ever decide to go, I want a warning. You know? Big flashing red lights, and-and-and one of those clocks that counts down like a bomb in a movie? And there's a whole bunch of, of coloured wires, and I'm not sure which is the right one to cut, but I guess the green one, and then at the last second, "No! The red one!" and then click, it stops with three-tenths of a second left, but then you don't leave. Like that, okay?

Xander: Check. Big bomb clock.

Giles: Dealing with people requires a certain, uh, finesse.
Anya: I have finesse! I have finesse coming out of my bottom!

Buffy: I killed something in a convent last night.
Xander: In any other room, a frightening declaration. Here, a welcome distraction.

Spike (holding a box of chocolates, talking to a mannequin with a blond wig): Um... there's something I got to tell you. About showing you Riley in that place. I didn't mean to... (long pause) Anyway, I know you're feeling all betrayed — by him, not me. I was trying to help, you know. Not like I made him be there, after all. Actually trying to help you. Best intentions. I mean, you know, pretty state you'd be in, thinking things are all right while he's toddling halfway round the bend. (He stares at the mannequin and starts to get increasingly angry.) Oh, I'll insult him if I want to! I'm the one who's on your side! Me! Doing you a favour! And you, being dead petty about it — me, getting nothing but your hatred and your venom and— you ungrateful bitch! Fuc— bitch!
(He loses control and smashes the box of chocolates over the mannequin's head. He then sighs, picks up the mannequin and replaces it. He rearranges the wig, picks up the box of chocolate, and tries to stuff the chocolates back in. He composes himself and faces the mannequin again. )
Spike: Buffy... there's something I want to tell you.

Olaf (upon bashing a dumpster with his hammer): Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! Puny receptacle!

Olaf: Bar maid! Bring me stronger ale! And some plump, succulent babies to eat!

Xander: I'm gonna run get Buffy. Or maybe you could fight him.
Spike: Yeah, I could do that, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much.
Olaf (to Spike): You there! Do you know where there are babies?
Spike (to Xander): What do ya think, the hospital?
Xander: What? Shut up!

Willow: I wish Buffy was here!
(Buffy runs in.)
Buffy: I'm here!
Willow: I wish I had a million dollars!

AND ANOTHER THING

Abraham Benrubi who plays Olaf is probably best known as a regular on ER playing desk clerk Jerry Markovic. He also provides the voice of Darth Vader (and others) on Robot Chicken, co-created by Seth (Oz) Green. He has also starred in an episode of The X-Files and had a supporting role in the film Twister.

This is the only episode of Buffy directed by Christopher Hibler, a veteran television director who worked on shows such as Remington Steele, Moonlighting, and Quantum Leap. He passed away in 2010 aged 68.

HOW MANY STAKES?

It’s troll-tastic! 4 (out of 5)

BUFFY: 4.08 ‘PANGS’

A bear! You made a bear! Heh.

WRITER: Jane Espenson
DIRECTOR: Michael Lange

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

It’s almost Thanksgiving and in his latest menial job, Xander is helping excavate the ground at Sunnydale U for a new faculty building, only to fall through the ground in to what is the lost Sunnydale Mission, buried in an earthquake years and years ago. Unfortunately Xander’s accident also unleashes the vengeful spirit of a Native American Chumash warrior who infects Xander with all the illnesses the original European settlers infected his people with. The spirit then moves on to start taking murderous revenge on local people of status for the slaughter of his people centuries ago. At the same time, Spike, hunted by Initiative commandos, is wandering the town, miserable and starving, staring longingly through windows at other vampires having happy blood feasts. Poor chap. Meanwhile, Buffy is feeling the need for some homespun Thanksgiving food and general cosiness and decides to lay on a big meal at Giles’s house for the gang. But circumstances are gonna make Buffy’s meal harder and harder to prepare for. First, Willow is anti Thanksgiving. She sees it as a celebration of the massacre of an indigenous people. She is also against ‘slaying’ the Chumash warrior because he is rightfully upset by what was done to his people. This leads to her falling out with Giles who remains insistent that they must stop the warrior at all costs. Second, Xander turns up sick as a dog, finding out he now has several diseases including syphilis. Third, Spike turns up out of the blue seeking sanctuary and with info about the Initiative. Third, Buffy feels a strange invisible presence around her. A presence we soon find out is actually Angel who’s secretly been helping her after Doyle received a vision back in LA of Buffy in mortal danger. So, can the Chumash warrior be stopped before he kills anyone else? Can Spike be trusted? Can Xander’s syphilis be cured? Can Buffy get the turkey on the table in time for a nice cosy Thanksgiving dinner?

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

It’s all about Thanksgiving and what it means. Not being an American Thanksgiving means virtually nothing to me. But I understand there seems to be a debate about it in the US of which Willow takes one side: that it is a nasty sham - a ‘yam sham’ which is really all about the massacre of indigenous peoples. I do like how Giles, and to a greater degree Spike, (both Brits like me) take a far more hard-nosed and practical view of the whole thing. Anyway, as with all things there’s always more than one side, and at least this episode of Buffy, though very charming and very, very funny, makes an effort to expose some of the darker truths.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Hus, the Chumash spirit warrior

WHY IT ROCKS

Big funny. Pangs is hilarious. The great Jane Espenson ™ wrote a wonderfully funny script that deals with the whole Thanksgiving issue nicely while playing up some great character beats and producing plenty of laugh out loud moments – many of which are to do with Spike. And speaking of…

Spike. Yep, once again James Marsters rocks! This is the start of Spike becoming an unwilling part of the Scooby Gang. Its needs must for poor Spike. He can’t get blood from people anymore so is starving while also being hunted by the Initiative commandos. So he seeks refuge with his sworn enemies hoping they won’t hurt him, as he’s all helpless and fangless. Putting Spike at the centre of the group dynamic works a treat. He sits there, tied to a chair, giving blunt acidic commentary on everything going on around him. He is the truth teller. He spells it out like it is. This role was originally taken by Cordelia and will soon be taken by Anya seeing as how Spike is limited in what he can do and where he can go by that darned daylight. But he will from now on remain an integral part of the Scooby Gang whether he or they want him to or not.

Sickly Xander. Poor chap. He gets various diseases all at once including (gulp!) syphilis. His pasty pathetic state is very, very funny.

A Buffy bear hug. Buffy wrestles a bear and it looks so silly but manages to be (intentionally) hilarious and made all the better by Spike’s reaction.

The ‘cavalry’ charging to the rescue…on bicycles.

The end Thanksgiving dinner scene and Xander’s faux pas. And Spike’s smug look.

WHY IT SUCKS

The whole Angel sneaking around thing is pointless and contrived. It is only there to get Buffy to go visit him in LA in the following episode of Angel. Still, its cool seeing Captain Forehead mixing with the gang again.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Spike’s horrified reaction to the Chumash warrior turning in to a bear.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Buffy (about construction-working Xander): “Very manly. Not at all Village People.”

Willow (angrily to Giles): "You know, I don't think you want to help! You just want to slay the demon and go 'la, la, la.'"

Spike (on his implant): "I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet, and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore."

Spike (shocked): "A bear! You made a bear!"
Buffy (timidly): "I didn't mean to!"
Spike (panicking): "Undo it! Undo it!

Xander (looking ill and worried):”Can we come rocketing back to the part about me and my new syphilis.”

Giles (dryly): “Yes, I’m always behind on terms. I'm still trying not to refer to you lot as 'bloody colonials.'”

Spike: “What part of 'help me!' do you not understand?”
Buffy: “The part where I help you.”

Anya: “So this is Angel. He's large and glowery, isn't he?”

HOW MANY STAKES?

I give thanks every time I watch this episode. 4 (out of 5)

BUFFY: 3.22 ‘GRADUATION DAY – PART 2’

Short WB promo

WRITER: Joss Whedon
DIRECTOR: Joss Whedon

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

With Faith gone all hope for curing Angel seems lost.

Because of this, and without telling her friends, Buffy makes a potentially deadly decision. She goes to Angel and forces him to drink from her.

A now cured Angel rushes an unconscious Buffy to the hospital where she undergoes an emergency blood transfusion. At the same time in a neighbouring hospital cubicle the Mayor is watching over a comatose Faith when he overhears talk of another young girl having been brought in. He goes and finds Buffy lying unconscious. Losing control he tries to smother her. Angel appears and stops him just in time, forcing him to leave. While unconscious, Buffy shares a dream with Faith who seems to give Buffy some vital but cryptic information about the future. Buffy wakes up. Feeling revitalised and knowing that the Mayor is to be the keynote speaker at their graduation ceremony, she lays out her plan to the gang, and to Wesley who turns up offering to help. There are tasks for everyone and time is short.

A few hours later and as the class of 1999 gather outside Sunnydale High for what should be an important right of passage, the Mayor begins delivering his inspiring keynote speech. But he is soon interrupted when the sun goes suddenly dark, thus signalling the beginning of his ascension. In front of the horrified gathering, the Mayor begins his long planned transformation in to a huge snake-like demon, his gang of vampires arriving under cover of the new darkness to keep the gathered students (needed as demon food for the Mayor) from escaping.

This is the moment Buffy’s plan goes in to action.

The scoobies have forewarned and forearmed all of the students against what the Mayor has planned for them. Xander takes immediate control, turning the Class of 1999 in to an instant army complete with hidden flame-throwers, swords, axes and flaming arrows. The students valiantly and successfully fight off the vamps with the help of Angel, while Buffy taunts the now fully demon Mayor in to chasing her deep in to the school. They crash through walls and doors, until they eventually reach the library. Buffy then leaps through a window, escaping, just as the demon Mayor notices explosives packed everywhere. As Buffy leaps clear we see Giles push down on a plunger…

And Sunnydale High School explodes in a huge fireball. It is destroyed utterly, killing the Mayor in the same way the demon from long ago was killed under the volcano.

Later, as the emergency services put out the fires and tend to the wounded, Buffy spies Angel. For a time the vampire and slayer just look at each other in silence. Eventually Angel turns and disappears in to the smoke, leaving behind Buffy and Sunnydale for pastures new.

Exhausted, the gang (minus Angel) reunites outside the smouldering wreckage that once was their school. Together they take a moment to savour the fact that they survived, as Oz points out, not just the ascension, but high school itself. Moment over, they wander off chatting and joking.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Same as in part 1. It’s all about moving on, graduating, and ascending to new levels in life. Angel literally moves on, away from Buffy and Sunnydale, while the Mayor also moves on, just not quite how he’d hoped. And, of course, the gang and the entire class of 1999 move on from high school for pastures new. And they do it the only way they could in the Buffyverse: they destroy the school thus putting the past firmly behind them, literally burning their bridges to childhood. The future awaits them. Life awaits them. The adventure continues.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

The Mayor (human and demon) and a bunch of nasty vamps

WHY IT ROCKS

All the same reasons that part 1 rocks, plus you get the epic pay off with a big school-based students vs. vamps smackdown and a huge snake demon eating people left right and centre. What’s not to love?

A lot happens. As with part 1 there is a lot of story being crammed in here. But it works and nothing feels rushed or extraneous. It all fits seamlessly together to bring our characters to where they all need to be for the big actual and thematic showdown. Joss is the grand master of this. His season finales burst with intelligent drama, action and humour, all underpinned by real thematic foundations.

Sex. There are two sex scenes in this episode, both played very differently. First, we see Buffy and Angel go at it. Well, not really. When Buffy forces Angel to drink from her in what is a beautifully directed sequence, it is played as if Angel is making intense love to her, lying on top of her, her legs spread with him between, Buffy moaning, reaching out to crush a fallen jug in ecstasy/pain. Of course this ‘sex’ almost kills her, thus highlighting how impossible and dangerous their relationship really is. It is all based upon pain, suffering and death. The second sex scene is an implied one between Willow and Oz who get it on together in Oz’s van right before the graduation ceremony. They are so happy together that they can’t help but make love in the face of likely death and destruction. Their relationship is based entirely on comfort and mutual support and adoration. It is all good and healthy, unlike the doomed relationship between Buffy and Angel.

Wesley and Cordy realising they are not meant to be together after sharing one of the most awkward and funny screen kisses ever put on film.

The Mayor and Faith. The Mayor grieving for Faith at the hospital and then his subsequent attempt to kill Buffy is brilliant. It adds depth to the already wonderful character. He truly loves Faith and like any father would, he wants to lash out at the person who hurt his ‘daughter’.

The Buffy and Faith dream. While both slayers are unconscious in hospital together they share a dream where Faith imparts some cryptic words to Buffy, trying to tell her things. At the time this was a huge deal amongst the fans, wondering what it was al about. It turned out that Joss was layering in elements for future seasons with major clues being given to major developments two years after this episode aired. Way to go Joss. Now THAT’S forward planning.

Principle Snyder. This is the last time we see Snyder. And Armin Shimerman is typically brilliant. His opening remarks to the gathered students at the graduation are most amusing. Shame he has to go and get eaten by a giant demon. We’ll miss him. Farewell Principle Snyder, it was fun.

The final battle. This is a pretty big scale fight involving a couple of hundred people using flame throwers, swords, bows and arrows and numerous other weapons. It also includes Buffy leading the demon Mayor through the school, knocking down walls and causing mass destruction before trapping him in the library then blowing the whole place up. It’s big. It’s exciting. And it’s so very cool.

Angel leaves. The last we see of Angel is perfect. Across a smoke filled parking lot, crowded by emergency vehicles, he and Buffy share a silent goodbye before he turns and disappears in to the smoke.

WHY IT SUCKS

The big snake demon the Mayor turns in to is not all that impressive. It’s big, sure, but is it really that powerful and scary? Also the CGI is a bit lacking.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

The beautifully directed sequence where Angel drinks from Buffy. Deeply erotic and kinda scary.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Oz: “Any change?”
Willow: “He’s delirious. He thought I was Buffy.”
Oz: “You too, huh?”

Buffy:” I’m gonna need every single on of you on board. Especially you, Xander. You’re sorta the key figure here.”
Xander: “Key? Me? Okay, pride. Humility. And here’s the mind numbing fear.”

Cordelia: “Well, that was the most fun you could have without having any fun.”

Giles: "There is a certain dramatic irony attached to all this. A synchronicity that borders on predestination, one might say."
Buffy (exhausted): "Fire bad. Tree pretty."

AND ANOTHER THING

The original US airing of this season finale was delayed by almost two months due to ongoing worries about recent violence in US high schools (the fact that students blow up their own school here being the main problem). Eventually Graduation Day – Part 2 aired mid-July 1999 in the US, though it had aired much earlier in Canada prompting mass bootlegging across the border between fans. Joss, hating the US delay, openly encouraged this practice much to the dismay of the WB.

The Sunnydale Class of 1999 yearbook has the phrase “The Future is Ours” on it’s front. This was the same slogan used by Nazi Germany. Also the logo accompanying it is remarkably similar to Nazi symbolism. Not sure what Joss was trying to say here. Maybe because Snyder acts as a bit of a fascist and had been called a Nazi by Cordy it was thought he’d use some Nazi terms and iconography for his big school event. Dunno. But it is kinda odd.

For the third time (see "Becoming, Part Two" and "Amends"), we get a special "Grr...argh" at the end of the credits. This time the little monster is wearing a graduation cap.


HOW MANY STAKES?

Buffy graduates with honours. 5 (out of 5)



And thus sees the end of my Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 3 review. I’ll move on to season 4 sometime soon. But in the meantime, stay “Five by Five.”

BUFFY: 3.21 ‘GRADUATION DAY – PART 1’

The last 5 mins of this episode inc. the Buffy/Faith fight.

WRITER: Joss Whedon
DIRECTOR: Joss Whedon

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Buffy is investigating the murder by Faith of a seemingly innocuous vulcanolgist. Both she and Giles are suspicious of why the Mayor would order the rogue slayer to do such a thing. What is the secret the Mayor needs to keep hidden? In the process of her investigations Buffy runs in to Angel. The pair, now uneasy around each other, soon begins to argue - an argument that is shockingly interrupted when from up on a nearby rooftop Faith shoots Angel with a poisoned arrow, sending the vamp in to a slow and painful demise. As Willow and Oz look in desperation for a cure for Angel, Giles and Xander discover what the Mayor was trying to hide: the unsuspecting vulcanolgist had found remains of an ancient demon killed long ago by a volcanic eruption. This gives the gang the clue they need as to how to kill the Mayor should he ascend. Giles also discovers the type of demon the Mayor will become…something very, very big. Wesley is unable to get any help from the Watcher’s Council to help cure Angel. This prompts a furious Buffy to take a stand and formally quit the Watchers. Then, just as all hope for Angel seems lost, Willow discovers the one and only cure: draining the blood of a slayer. Her mission clear, Buffy takes Faith’s knife and heads to the dark slayer’s apartment, literally out for blood, the only blood that can cure Angel. Arriving at Faith’s, the two slayers face off and engage in one heck of a vicious and bloody battle; a battle that wrecks the apartment and ends up out on the roof. After much violence is done, Buffy gets the upper hand and stabs Faith in the gut with her own knife. But Faith, bleeding to death and knowing she’s done, still won’t let Buffy win. And so she throws herself off of the roof, landing in a truck that drives her away from Buffy, taking away a horrified Buffy’s one and only hope for curing Angel.

To be continued.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Again, it’s all in the title. It’s all about growing up, moving on to the next stage in life, taking on responsibility. Buffy and the gang are graduating, not just from school, but from being kids; they are starting to take charge of their own lives, their own destinies. Willow and Oz move on to the next stage of their relationship, and the Mayor hopes to move on as well with his Ascension. But the theme is shown most poignantly perhaps in the tremendous scene in which Buffy tells Wesley in no uncertain terms that she quits the Council and that he needs to pack up and go home. He calls it mutiny. She says she prefers the term graduation.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

The Mayor and Faith

WHY IT ROCKS

Those magic words ‘Written and Directed by Joss Whedon’

The script. This is essentially the set-up for the big payoff in part 2. And so much occurs here. Not just big Ascension related stuff either but wonderful character stuff too. As always Joss has an almost supernatural grasp of his characters, of what makes them tick, and how to use them perfectly to tell a layered story that blends subtle depth, high drama, big laughs, tender emotion and some kick-ass action that leaves the audience desperate for more. Three scenes here are season highlights:

1. Oz and Willow finally making love: a wonderfully sweet, typically dry and witty way for the taciturn werewolf to finally make his move.

2. The Mayor confronting Buffy and the gang on their own turf: a chilling and intense scene perfectly sold by Harry Groener and by Tony Head who gets very angry with a sword.

3. Buffy quitting the Council: our girl faces down Wesley and tells it like it is. She’s had enough. And they can all go to hell.

Faith and the Mayor. As if we didn’t think these two were great enough, Joss gives us a lovely scene in which the Mayor gets Faith to try on a pretty dress for the Ascension and then listens to her with such great affection as she tells him about something that happened to her when she was a kid. The bond between these two is tangible and powerful. They are the bad guys but we don’t wanna lose them.

Anya. The brilliant Emma Caulfield as Anya has been playing a bigger part over the last few episodes. It is clear she is becoming a regular and will likely provide the plain speaking replacement for Cordy after she leaves for Angel. And thank heavens for Anya. What a great character she is, expertly played by Emma. Blunt, rude, hostile, but also naïve and charmingly cute. Xander’s gonna have his hands full. Lucky guy.

Eliza Dushku. She’s been a powerful, memorable presence since first arriving in Sunnydale back in 3.3 ‘Faith, Hope and Trick’. Her character journey has been fascinating, providing the essential core to this entire season, making this my personal favourite of all Buffy’s seven seasons. And here, in what is pretty much her final appearance of the season, she is wonderful. She’s both vulnerable and sympathetic as well as an evil kick-ass bitch from hell.

Slayer vs. Slayer…to the death (or not): the epic fight between Buffy and Faith at Faith’s apartment is a thing of brutal beauty. The choreography is fast, agile, creative and bone crunching and the direction and editing is perfect. Joss pulls the camera back and just lets them go at it.

WHY IT SUCKS

It doesn’t

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

It has to be that fight. So damn cool.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Xander (to Anya): "Yes, Men like sports. Men watch the action movie. They eat of the beef and enjoy to look at the bosoms. A thousand years of avenging our wrongs and that's all you've learned?"

Joyce: "You know, Buffy, looking back at everything that's happened, maybe I should have sent you to a different school."

Buffy (to Joyce): "I wish I could be a lot of things for you. A great student, a star athlete ... remotely normal. I'm not. But there is something I do that I can do better than anybody else in the world."

Angel: "Are you mad at me for being around too much or for not being around enough?"
Buffy: "Duh, yes!"

Cordelia: “What's her saga?”
Xander: “She's freaking.”
Cordelia: “About what?”
Xander: “The Mayor's gonna kill us all during graduation.”
Cordelia: “Oh. Are you gonna go to fifth period?”
Xander: “I'm thinking I might skip it.”
Cordelia: “Yeah, me too.”

Wesley: “This is mutiny.”
Buffy: “I like to think of it as graduation.”

Xander (seeing a picture of the huge demon the Mayor will become): “We’re gonna need a bigger boat!”

AND ANOTHER THING

Recently I caught a bit of a TV show here in the UK where actress/celeb Amanda Holden tries out some of her dream jobs. In the episode I saw she wanted to be a stuntwoman so she went to Hollywood and hooked up with Sophia Crawford who was SMG’s stunt/fight double on Buffy for the first four seasons. Sophia is actually English and is married to Jeff Pruitt who was the stunt co-ordinator on the show. Anyway, after training Holden up, Sophia and Jeff re-staged the ‘Graduation Day – Part 1’ Faith vs. Buffy fight move for move with Holden as Faith and Sophia as Buffy. They even dressed up in similar outfits. And it looked really cool. A great and totally unexpected geekout moment for me.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Blood, Faith and tears. 5 (out of 5)

BUFFY: 3.20 ‘THE PROM’

Short promo

WRITER: Marti Noxon
DIRECTOR: David Solomon

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Buffy and the gang are looking forward to their school prom. However this being Sunnydale nothing is going to go smoothly. Firstly Angel has heartbreaking news for poor Buff. He breaks up with her, as he knows they have no future together. He also tells her that after the Ascension he will be leaving Sunnydale to make things easier (plus he has his own TV series to get to in LA). As well as Buffy’s personal pain there is also the small matter of a bunch of vicious and human-brain-hungry hellhounds to deal with. They’ve been bred by a disaffected student and trained to kill anyone in formal wear. Determined that her friends will get their perfect high school prom, Buffy takes it upon herself to single-handedly hunt down and kill the beasts before they can start their high school student brain feast.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Hmm, nothing too obvious. The hellhound stuff is just a daft action-orientated hook to hang this episode’s important end of season story points on e.g. Angel’s decision to leave and Buffy being recognised and trusted by her fellow students as ‘Class Protector’.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Nasty student Tucker Wells and his vicious hellhounds. And possibly Angel for being pretty darn insensitive to poor Buff with his timing.

WHY IT ROCKS

The script. Marti Noxon wrote a deeply emotional and beautifully affecting script. Sure, the A story is silly hellhounds looking to chomp on formal attired students, but the really important stuff is what is happening with Buffy and Angel and with the rest of the gang. Angel’s realisation and decision is a long time coming, taking Joyce’s intervention as well as The Mayor’s earlier words to finally push him to act. After all he is the responsible adult. Buffy, as her mom points out, for all her smarts, strength and power, is a young girl in love, blinded by her love and by her lack of life experience. So it’s left up to Angel to make the responsible decision.

The acting. All are great here but once again SMG brings her big game. She runs the gamut in this episode from childlike glee to utter heartbreak and devastation to tough and stoic warrior. Sarah really does encapsulate the full character of Buffy Summers here. Sure, she is smart, hugely tough and quick with a witty quip or three but deep down she remains an emotionally inexperienced and fragile child. Something her mom knows very well and something others (Angel especially) easily forget.

Anya’s hilariously blunt, rude and inept way of asking Xander to be her date for the Prom.

Tucker Wells’ use of various famous high school movies to train the hellhounds to attack Sunnydale High Prom goers.

Angel’s disturbing dream of his and Buffy’s wedding day. The effects used to show Buffy burning to ash in the sun are horribly effective. But prior to her human torching Sarah does look truly beautiful in Buffy’s wedding dress. As she does later on in her prom dress.

Xander, Cordy and Cordy’s prom dress.

Giles’s exasperation with Wesley over Cordelia.

The awards ceremony at the Prom and Buffy being given her unexpected ‘Class Protector’ award by the Prom Committee – as represented by Jonathan. This could so easily have been extremely corny and daft. But luckily it is written, performed and directed with restraint and with genuine heart and doesn’t for a moment go in for needless sentimentality. It is simply a beautifully poigniant and perfectly charming scene. And it works because we all know that Buffy has truly earned this. And also it plays a major role in allowing to happen what needs to happen in the season finale. It’s emotional and character driven but also plot driven as well.

Buffy gets her one perfect high school moment right at the end, though it is tinged with sadness with the knowledge that all things – school, relationships, (favourite TV shows) etc. - come to an end.

WHY IT SUCKS

The hellhound plot serves as nothing but a functional element to add some action and monster mayhem to the story, though you could argue it hammers home the award Buffy gets and that people have noticed her and do appreciate her.

The hellhounds look rubbish. Just guys in silly rubber costumes prancing around on all fours.

For a guy who’s been around 240-plus years Angel sure can be a thoughtless inept tool at times. His timing for dumping Buffy is truly terrible. Couldn’t he have at least waited until after the Ascension as odds on they’d all die anyway so problem solved? Yeah, I know this wouldn’t have worked well dramatically or plot-wise seeing as how it has to be set up that Angel is leaving for his own series. But still, you can’t help but curse the guy for doing what he does when he does.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Buffy becomes ‘Class Protector’ in one of the series’ most perfect scenes.


DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Anya (asking Xander to the Prom): “Men are evil. Will you go with me?”
Xander: “One of us is very confused, and I honestly don't know which.”
Anya: "Look, I know you find me attractive; I've seen you looking at my breasts."
Xander: "Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open."

Giles (to Buffy regarding her break-up with Angel): "I understand this sort of thing requires ice cream of some kind."

Giles (to Wesley, regarding Cordelia): "For God's sake, man, she's eighteen. And you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just have at it, would you? And stop fluttering about."

Buffy (to the gang, determined): “I'm gonna give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every person on the face of the Earth to do it.”
Xander (looking worried): “Yay?”

Jonathan: “We have one more award to give out. Is Buffy Summers here tonight? Did she....um...This is actually a new category. First time ever. I guess there were a lot of write in ballots and the prom committee asked me to read this. "We're not good friends. Most of us never found the time to get to know you. But that doesn't mean we haven't noticed you. We don't talk about it much, but it's no secret that Sunnydale High isn't really like other high schools. A lot of weird stuff happens here."”
Student: “Zombies!”
Student: “Hyena people!”
Student: “Snyder”
Jonathan (continuing): "But whenever there was a problem or something creepy happened, you seemed to show up and stop it. Most of the people here have been saved by you. Or helped by you at one time or another. We're proud to say that the class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate of any graduating class in Sunnydale history. And we know that at least part of that is because of you. So the senior class offers its thanks and gives you, uh... this." It's from all of us. And it has written here, Buffy Summers — Class Protector.”

AND ANOTHER THING

The movies that Tucker used to train the hellhounds were: Prom Night, Pump Up the Volume (which Seth Green and Juliet Landau were in), Prom Night IV, Pretty in Pink, The Club, and Carrie.

Buffy's wedding dress in Angel’s dream was designed by famous fashion designer Vera Wang.

Sarah didn't actually get to go to her own prom. She was at the Emmy Awards instead.

The lovely song that Buffy and Angel dance to at the end is called Wild Horses and is performed by The Sundays (available on the first Buffy the Vampire Slayer soundtrack). It is actually a cover of a song by The Rolling Stones.

HOW MANY STAKES?

It’s all very PROMising for the big finale. 3.5 (out of 5)

BUFFY: 3.19 'CHOICES'

Short promo for the episode

WRITER: David Fury
DIRECTOR: James A. Contner

WHAT'S THE SITCH?

Buffy gets good news about her choice of potential colleges. She has been accepted to several including some really good ones and desperately wants to leave town if /when she graduates. Unfortunately new Watcher Wesley is having none of this and tells Buffy she must stay and guard the Hellmouth. If she can stop the coming ascension Buffy believes that she can still go away to school and leave Giles and co to keep the common or garden vamps at bay until she comes back in her college breaks. So with this in mind Buffy becomes proactive and takes the fight to the Mayor. She, Angel and Willow steal from the Mayor the mystical Box of Gavrok, which forms an integral part of his ascension. Problem is Willow goes and gets captured by Faith before she can escape. And so Buffy proposes a swap – the box of Gavrok for Willow. The Mayor accepts. And so the scene is set for a night time covert exchange – a witch for a box. But as the two parties gather at Sunnydale High the box accidentally lets loose a whole bunch of creepy nasties on the gathered foes.

WHAT'S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

As with a lot of Buffy episodes the theme is right there in the title. In this episode Buffy and the gang are making decisions about their futures, about where life will take them when school finishes…providing they survive graduation of course. It’s about growing up and moving on. For Buffy and Willow this is all about where to go to college, about them breaking free of their old life. Meanwhile Xander is also limited by not being the academic type. He seems destined for the open road, for the University of Life. And at the same time Angel is starting to wrestle with the huge choice he is soon going to make; a choice brilliantly vocalised by the Mayor when he spells out to both vampire and slayer the hard truth about their relationship.

WHO'S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

The Mayor, Faith, and billions of horrid spider things contained in the Box of Gavrok.

WHY IT ROCKS

The theme of choices. It’s an important one especially in this stage of a young person’s life. What they now do when school days are over; where they go; what they try to become; what path to choose in life. For Buffy that path seems set in stone, and though she tries valiantly to take another, she remains firmly on the path marked Sunnydale slayer.

The Mayor. Once again Harry Groener shows us why he is the best Buffy big bad ever. The guy isn’t just plain evil. He has depth and is a complex guy who just can’t help offering fatherly advice and guidance to young people…even ones he intends to kill horribly. And his advice is sound.

Stealing the Box of Gavrok. Buffy goes all Mission: Impossible by being lowered in a harness to snatch the box without setting off alarms. But being Buffy it all goes wrong and some witty fisticuffs soon become needed.

Willow. Willow is great in this episode. She stands up to Faith beautifully, telling her some hard home truths. Also gotta love her using her floaty pencil trick to dust a vamp. Heh.

Faith and her new knife.

Snyder. Armin Shimerman is fab as Principle Snyder. He’s on a drug busting crusade, convinced all his students are using or selling drugs but only finding innocent packed lunches much to his annoyance. Then when he finds Buffy and the gang late at night in the school he thinks he’s hit pay dirt. Unfortunately evil spiders escaping a magical box quickly prove him wrong.

Oz’s reaction to the debate about whether or not to bargain for Willow’s release.

WHY IT SUCKS

Thematically it works fine but the overall story concerning the Box of Gavrok is nothing too special.

IT'S BUFFTASTIC

Willow standing up to Faith.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Willow: “Hey, I eat danger for breakfast.”
Xander: “But, oddly enough, she panics in the face of breakfast foods.”

Buffy: “Faith's turn to the dark side of the Force pretty much put the proverbial kibosh on any away plans for me.”

Buffy (about Oxford): "That's where they make Gileses."

Buffy: “Unfortunately that's all I could get out of my informant before his aggressive tendencies forced me to introduce him to Mr. Pointy.”

Willow (to Faith): "I know you had a tough life. I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo hoo! Poor you."

Principal Snyder (to Buffy and the gang): "You! All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?"

AND ANOTHER THING

The City Hall rooftop is the same set used for the library rooftop in season 1 finale ‘Prophecy Girl’.

HOW MANY STAKES?

I choose 3 (out of 5)

Buffy 3.18 'Earshot'

Short episode promo

WRITER: Jane Espenson
DIRECTOR: Regis Kimble

WHAT'S THE SITCH?

Buffy is out slaying when in the midst of battle with a pair of demons one of them scratches her hand right before it feels the business end of Mr Pointy. Its demon buddy escapes leaving Buff with a really itchy hand. As it turns out Buffy was scratched by a demon that can pass on one of its traits – the so-called Aspect of the Demon. Hearing this from Giles, Buffy starts worrying that she is gonna grow horns or, as Willow points out, if it was a boy demon something more, er, boyish! Buffy quickly discovers that her aspect gained is the ability to hear what everyone around her is thinking. At first this is exciting and fun but it soon becomes painful and debilitating and will lead to eventual insanity unless Giles, Angel and the gang can find a cure. To make matters worse Buffy heard the thoughts of someone at school planning a massacre at Sunnydale High. So the race is on to save Buff from insanity and to identify and stop a potential mass killer.

WHAT'S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Nobody in their right mind would want to be able to know others inner most thoughts. However this episode by the great Jane Espenson tells us that if we could then we’d discover that everyone else is in just as much pain and is just as insecure and messed up as we are. That people ignore others pain is because they are far too busy dealing with their own pain. Of course this is all a bit touchy feely and perhaps over dramatic but it just tells us to not think that other seemingly well adjusted and happy people don’t have their own major issues to deal with. Sure, some more than others. But in the end we’re all human and we all hurt. It’s as simple as that.

WHO'S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

An unknown (‘til the very end) potential killer.

WHY IT ROCKS

The concept. It’s a simple and brilliant concept. What would we do and how would life be if we could hear everyone’s inner most thoughts? Sounds fab and really useful. But there would also be a terrible price to pay. Would we really want to know what everyone really thought of us?

The great Jane Espenson ™. This is one of Jane’s best scripts and is typically brilliant work from the lady. Earshot balances smart, tender, thoughtful musings on identity, loneliness and pain with sly social satire and some big laugh out loud comedy.

It’s a mystery. The identity of the potential mass killer is kept secret right to the very end with lots of red herrings thrown in. Early on Xander accidentally identifies the real culprit in a throwaway gag that nobody takes notice of. See? The Xan-man often speaks unwitting truth in jest.

Sarah Michelle Gellar. SMG does a bang up job in this episode. She goes from nervous worry while waiting for her Aspect of the Demon, to gleeful excitement when she realises all the possibilities of her new ‘gift’, to caring thoughtfulness when dealing with a deeply troubled student. And her comedy instincts are great too – witness her hearing the thoughts of boys lusting after her and see how she changes her stance while subtly preening herself. Most amusing.

The funny. Being a Jane Espenson episode Earshot is very, very funny. I totally forgot about the classic scene in the library as Buffy tells her friends about her being able to hear all their thoughts. Of course almost everything Xander thinks about is sex, causing Buffy to look at him with disgust and Xander to then run away in shame. LOL

Cordy. Out of everyone it is Cordy who is least affected by Buffy’s new ability. Simply, everything Cordy thinks she says. She has no internal filter from brain to mouth. Which leads to some big funny.

Giles and the tree. The episode’s final moments sees Buffy revealing to Giles that she now knows he and her mom had sex, on top of a police car, twice. This causes a shocked Giles to walk in to a tree. Heh.

WHY IT SUCKS

The two mouthless demons are particularly rubbery looking monsters. They are okay, but just a bit too rubbery for my tastes.

IT'S BUFFTASTIC

The library mind reading scene. Brilliance of story, theme, character and major league funny coming together as a seamless whole.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Xander (thinking, panicking): What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time. Sex. Help! Four times five is thirty. Five times six is thirty-two. Naked girls. Naked women. Naked Buffy. Oh, stop me!
Buffy: “God Xander! Is that all you think about?”
Xander: “Actually...bye!”

Xander (watching the Cheerleaders cheering): “They really are very good.”
Oz: “Their spellings improved.”

Cordelia: “I still have knee marks on my back...[get some looks] from the pyramid.”

Buffy (to Giles): "Sure, we can work out after school. You know, if you're not too busy having sex with my mother!"
Giles (walking into a tree): "Ugh!"


AND ANOTHER THING...

The main plot line of Earshot is about the potential mass killing of students at a U.S. High School by another student. It was a brave subject for Joss and co. to tackle, taking on the possible reasons for such things happening. Unfortunately it was on April 20th 1999 that the awful events at Columbine High School occurred…less than one week before Earshot was due to air. As a result, Joss and the WB pulled the episode out of respect. It was finally aired as a one-off in Sept 1999. There is controversy over whether the ep should have been pulled at all. Apparently the WB were reluctant to ever show it. But cool heads won out and Earshot did eventually get aired. Personally I think the right decision was made. It should have been pulled at the time out of respect. But the episode has something to say about why such terrible events occur and so should indeed be seen by audiences. Luckily there is nothing in the episode to harm the flow of the main season arc so its being pulled in April 99 didn’t effect the overall story of season 3.

How many stakes?

Read my mind… 4.5 (out of 5)

Buffy: 3.17 ‘Enemies’

Writer: Doug Petrie
Director: David Grossman

What's the sitch?

A demon approaches Buffy and Faith offering to sell them the Books of Ascension which will tell the gang everything they need to know about the Mayor’s plans. Secretly working for the Mayor, Faith goes back, kills the demon and takes the books. Faith is also making nice to Angel pretending she needs his help to deal with what she’s done. Really she is conspiring with the Mayor to turn Angel back to Angelus so as to be her perfect partner in evil. Her plan to seduce Angel and give him a happy in order to take his soul doesn’t work so the Mayor contacts a powerful sorcerer who, in front of Faith, appears to remove Angel’s soul thus bringing back Angelus. After a brief tussle the bad pair makes a truce and head off to see the Mayor, who, much to Angelus’s delight, instructs them to find, torture and kill Buffy. Faith and Angelus lure Buffy to the mansion where Faith then reveals her true evil colours to her sister slayer. Buffy, horrified at Faith and the return of Angelus, is knocked out. She awakens chained up, with Faith about to begin torturing her with lots of very sharp implements, Angelus looking on gleefully.

What's the sitch beneath the sitch?

The nurture vs. nature aspect of Buffy and Faith comes to a head here as Faith reveals her true colours to everyone. She is an immature child who is so full of rage because of the dreadful life she’s had. And that rage is only made the worse when seeing all that Buffy has – family, friends, love, a sense of normality and stability (though Buff would probably disagree with those last two). This just seems to rub Faith’s nose in her own short comings and makes her focus all of that inner rage of hers entirely on Buffy. Of course this is utterly unfair to our girl. Faith’s problems go back way further than Sunnydale and slaying. She’s lacked the unconditional love and support and role model of a strong parental figure her entire life. And that’s something she still very much needs and craves, which is why she latches on so hard to the Mayor, an apparently loving and supportive father figure. Plus when Faith first arrived in Sunnydale Buffy was rather threatened by her and seemed to want to keep Faith out of her circle of friends. This reaction only stored up even more enmity in the dark slayer towards Buffy. So while Buffy isn’t responsible for Faith’s behaviour and actions she didn’t exactly contribute to improving Faith’s chances for a better life.


Who's giving us the wiggins this week?

Faith, Angelus, The Mayor, and a freaky glowy eyed sorcerer.

Why it rocks

The script. ‘Enemies’ is a well constructed script by ace Faith writer Doug Petrie. It simultaneously delves deeper in to Faith’s character and her deep-seated troubles, explores the continually fracturing relationship between Buffy and Angel, and pushes the season’s main arc plot in to the beginning of its epic final act.

Eliza Dushku. As always Eliza is great as Faith. Here she gets to let rip and be the full-on nasty psycho Faith we know she truly is. Her vitriolic outburst to Buffy about why she hates her so much is wonderfully delivered. You can almost feel the waves of hate radiating. Her jealousy of Buffy and Angel is also very well played, as is her dangerous seduction technique with Angelus. And speaking of…

Angelus. Always good to see Boreanaz getting to have a ball as Angelus. The actor knows nothing of subtlety in this role…but then neither does Angelus, a monster that is gleeful in causing pain and suffering, so it works out fine.

Buffy and Angel exiting the movie theatre at the start, confused and shocked by the sexually explicit art house film they’ve just seen.

The sorcerer. He is one weird and creepy dude with his blue face and glowy eyes all wrapped up in black robes.

The reveal.

Giles the supernatural matchmaker. lol

Why it sucks

Buffy’s overreaction to what Angel did at her request regarding Faith feels a tad too much. Get over it Buff.

Why didn’t Giles and Buffy fill everyone else in on their plan especially poor Xander?

Well, Faith is officially playing for the bad guys now. Not suckage, just a bit of heart sinkage for the dark slayer cuz you know it ain’t gonna end well for her. :(

It's Buftastic

The moment when trickery is revealed:
Faith (to chained up Buffy): “What can I say, I'm the world's best actor.”
Angel (to Faith): “Second best.”

Dialogue to die for

Giles: “Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.”

Buffy (on Faith's apparent intimacy with Angel): "You're right. Faith would never do that."
Willow: "Faith would totally do that. Faith was built to do that. She's the 'do that' girl!"

Xander: “And on the day the words flimsy excuse were redefined, we stood in awe and watched.”

Xander: “Yes. I feel so much better knowing that he broke my face in a good way. It's a good bruise.”

And another thing

The sexually explicit art house movie Angel and Buffy see is called "Le Banquet d Amelia." Don’t go looking for it. It’s not a real movie.

Oz's ever-changing hair colour is back to being blond again.

How many stakes?

The truth hurts. 4 (out of 5)

Buffy: 3.16 ‘Doppelgangland’

Writer: Joss Whedon
Director: Joss Whedon

What's the sitch?

Anya, the ex-vengeance demon last seen in 3.9 ‘The Wish’, embarks on a mission to get her mystical necklace back so as to restore her power. She tricks Willow in to helping her with a spell to reclaim the necklace from a point in time before it was destroyed. Willow, feeling put upon and taken for granted by everyone including loathsome Principle Snyder, Giles and her friends, agrees to help Anya, being eager to experiment more with the black arts. But the spell goes wrong and WiIlow takes off leaving behind an angry and despondent Anya. However, unbeknown to them both the spell did actually work…kinda. Only instead of Anya’s necklace, it brought in to our world the deliciously slinky and evil Vampire Willow from the alternative reality last seen in ‘The Wish’. Buffy and Xander run in to the newly arrived Vampire Willow at the Bronze thinking she is their Willow but soon discovering to their horror that she is actually a vampire. Assuming their Wilow is dead, the two shocked friends head back to the library to tell Giles the awful news. Meanwhile, confused and upset by this new world full of many happy humans and not so many evil vamps, Vampire Willow decides to recruit a vampire army from those she can find, who are all currently working for The Mayor, in order to start taking back the night for vampire kind, beginning with attacking the human crowded Bronze. A potential mass slaughter awaits unless Buffy and co. can work out what's happened and ccme up with a plan to save the day.

What's the sitch beneath the sitch?

Don’t be a pushover. Get in touch with your inner badass and stand up for yourself. In this utterly brilliant episode good old reliable Willow, that so very smart, eager and kind teenager, is finally and justifiably feeling put upon and taken for granted by her friends and pretty much everyone else around her. People constantly expect and demand stuff from her be it knowledge, expertise, remembering things they’ve been too lazy to remember or to do themselves. And the girl has had enough. Bringing back the wonderful Vampire Willow doppelganger from ‘The Wish’ lets us and the world see a whole other side to the very sweet Ms Rosenberg – a tough, sexy, confident and devilishly playful side that won’t take crap from anyone be they obnoxious high school jocks or unthinking best friends. Willow sees in her evil doppelganger things to fear and to loathe, but she also more importantly sees things to admire and to emulate in her own life. Just not the killing and the S&M wear.

Who's giving us the wiggins this week?

Vampire Willow, Anya and assorted vampire goons.

Why it rocks

Joss at his best. Doppelgangland is utter perfection on every single level – character, drama, theme, acting and bringing the major league funny. If you wanted a Buffy novice to know why Joss’s little myth garnered such love and widespread acclaim (despite the goofy title and premise) then you’d simply show them ‘Doppelgangland’ along with a few other choice episodes – probably ‘The Body’, ‘Hush’, ‘Once More With Feeling’ and ‘Becoming 1&2’. The script here is so well written by Joss who always starts with character and theme and then builds his story up from there. And what a story it is. Through Vampire Willow we see the Willow we know and love in a whole new light. Especially when Buffy tells her to remember that a vampire’s personality has nothing to do with the human they were before and Angel almost contradicts her for he knows that simply isn’t true.

Alyson Hannigan. The entire cast is wonderful but Ally Hannigan is the shining star here. Playing the dual roles of sweet, meek, put-upon Willow and sleek, sexy, deadly Vampire Willow, the girl just stuns.

Vampire Willow. An instant smash with the fans when she first appeared in ‘The Wish’, Joss obviously loved her too because here she is in all of her slinky, sexy, evil, and kinda gay glory. Vamp Willow is scary and sexy but she is also drop dead funny. Her deadpan reaction to seeing ‘our’ Willow is priceless: “Look at me. I’m all fuzzy.” As is her exasperation while locked in the book cage, trying to convince an unsuspecting Cordelia to let her out. “What?” asks vain Cordy, frowning at Vampire Willow who’s staring at her hungrily. “Do I have something on my neck?” “Not yet,” is the dryly-muttered answer.

The entire old reliable vs. Old Faithful vs. Old Yeller exchange and Willow’s subsequent attempt to storm off.

Thinking his cross is not working properly after aiming it mistakenly at our Willow, Xander shakes it as you might a faulty flashlight. LOL

Giles’ reaction when he sees that our Willow is not in fact dead.

Angel’s confusion at seeing our Willow alive. “Hey Willow. Wait a sec…”

Wesley’s girly scream when Cordy surprises him.

Willow, surprised, noticing her own cleavage while wearing Vampire Willow’s low cut getup. “Gosh, look at those.”

Cordy lecturing a caged Vampire Willow on the ethics of boyfriend stealing thinking she's talking to our Willow.

Willow impersonating Vamp Willow at the Bronze.

Willow’s signal (a scream)

Buffy’s end fight at the Bronze and her cool use of a pool cue as a weapon.

Vampire Willow’s reaction as she arrives back in her world and is promptly staked.

Why it sucks

Nothing. Zero. Nada. No suckage here.

It's Buftastic

The entire scene of our Willow impersonating Vampire Willow at the Bronze – especially the little hidden wave she gives Oz to let him know its her. Wonderful.

Dialogue to die for

Oh God, I could quote the entire script but I’ll try and keep it down to a few choice cuts. Here goes...

Willow: "Buff. I'm storming off. It doesn't really work if you come with me."

Willow (confused after Buffy, Xander and Giles crush her in a big hug): "It's really nice that you guys missed me. Say! You all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?"

Vampire Willow (meeting the real Willow): "Well, look at me. I'm all fuzzy."

Willow: "That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil. And skanky. And I think I'm kinda gay!"

Willow (looking down at her cleavage): "Gosh, look at those!"

Willow: “No, it's fine. I'm 'Old Reliable'.”
Xander: “She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals.”
Willow: “That's Old Faithful.”
Xander: “Isn't that the dog that, that the guy had to shoot...”
Willow: (angrily now) “That's Old Yeller.”
Buffy: “Xander, I beg you not to help me.”

Xander: “Uh... Will, this is verging on naughty touching here. Don't wanna fall back on bad habits. HANDS! Hands in new places!”

Buffy (to Xander): “Aren't you gonna introduce me to your...Holy *God*, you're Willow.”

Angel(rushes in): “Buffy, I…something's happened. Willow's dead.”
He glances over and sees Willow. She waves at him.
Angel(casualy): “Hey, Willow."
He does a double take.
Angel: "Wait a second…”
Xander: “We're right there with you, buddy.”

Willow: “This girl has a history of mental problems dating back to early childhood. (desperately) I'm a blood-sucking fiend! Look at my outfit!”
Vampire: “A human. I should have smelled it right away.”
Willow: “A human? Oh, yeah? Could a human do this?”
She screams at the top of her lungs.
Anya: “Sure. Yeah. Humans do that. Yeah. (shrugs)”
Vampire: (concurring) “Yeah. Yeah, I think, yeah.”


And another thing

In the Bronze when Willow is pretending to be Vampire Willow, she runs her hand through a girl's hair. Some fans thought that girl was Amber Benson (who played Tara in later seasons). Nope, it's not her.

How many stakes?

Double trouble means twice the greatness. 5+ (out of 5)

Buffy: 3.15 ‘Consequences’

Writer: Marti Noxon
Director: Michael Gershman

What's the sitch?

Following on from the events of the last episode, Buffy is keeping quiet about what happened - namely Faith killing a human being – though doing so is eating her up inside. She wants to tell Giles but Faith won’t hear of it. The dark slayer is acting as if nothing happened, as if what she did had no effect on her at all. But the man Faith killed was the Deputy Mayor and the police are intent on nailing his killer. Clues eventually lead them to questioning Buffy and Faith separately with both girls claiming to know nothing. But it’s all too much for Buffy and she breaks down to Willow telling her friend what happened. Willow tells Buffy she has to go to Giles, which she does…only to find Faith already there having told the ex-watcher that it was Buffy who killed the Deputy Mayor. Giles pretends to believe her but after Faith has gone he reveals to Buffy he knows Faith is the real culprit. Giles thinks she first has to admit what she’s done before she can be helped and he doesn’t intend to tell the Watchers Council. Unfortunately new Watcher Wesley secretly overhears this and heads off to make his own plans for Faith. Meanwhile Buffy has asked Angel to intervene, to try and reach Faith. Angel captures Faith and takes her to his mansion in a kind of forced intervention…only to have Wesley and some Watchers Council goons interrupt and snatch Faith away in order to take her to England for a tribunal. But Faith goes and escapes from the hapless Council goons and heads to the docks to catch a freighter out of the country. Buffy finds her there just in time only for Mr Trick and some vamp heavies working for the Mayor to attack and try to kill both slayers. As the battle starts going badly for Buffy, Faith is forced to make a choice – flee and let Buffy die at the fangs of evil vamps or stay and saver her sister slayer. Luckily Faith saves our girl and Mr Trick, that coolest of cool cat vamps, is dusted. Later, Buffy and Giles confer and Buffy says she thinks Faith may have a chance at being helped and that she won’t give up on her. But at the same time, across town, Faith goes to see the Mayor, this season’s big bad, and offers him her services.

What's the sitch beneath the sitch?

It’s all there in the title. All actions have consequences. To deny that only serves to make things worse. Faith’s selfish code of “Want. Take. Have” has all of its own unforeseen consequences and is not a sustainable way to live. It’s a very teenage thing. Live in the moment, do what you want, forget about what might come. Life is forever and you are invincible. Only age and experience counters this. And experience if not age is something Buffy has over Faith. Buffy dallied with Faith’s philosophy for a bit. It seemed exciting, freeing. It wasn’t. Quite the opposite. Actions and their consequences are a running theme in Buffy forming the basis for Angel’s character arc as well as Faith’s throughout the rest of Buffy and in to Angel and beyond.

Who's giving us the wiggins this week?

Faith, Mr Trick and his vamp goons

Why it rocks

It’s an effective part 2 to what began in the previous episode and nicely draws the distinction between the sort of slayers that Buffy and Faith are.

Buffy is put through the emotional wringer. You can feel the huge weight on her tiny little shoulders, her big eyes full of fear and pain all the way through. When she finally breaks down to Willow it is a well-earned release and you feel real sympathy for her. SMG does a great job.

Eliza Dushku. As always Eliza is great as Faith. She is effectively bullying Buffy all through this, forcing our girl to keep quiet and tow the line. She is also clearly coming unhinged. The scene where she almost kills Xander after he comes to offer her help, first forcing herself on him sexually, then throttling him, is pretty chilling stuff. And she really does sell it. She’s gorgeous and sexy but she is also one scary girl. Luckily Angel shows up just in time or the Xan man would have been history.

Harry Groener. As The Mayor Harry Groener is so much fun to watch and so darn good. He can do warm, funny, chilling, goofy, evil, all in the same scene, sometimes in the same line of dialogue. This is why he was and will always remain my favourite Big Bad of Buffy. He’s an evil monster, but you can’t help but love the guy.

Faith and The Mayor. This episode marks the very beginning of what is one of the best and sweetest relationships in the entire Buffyverse: Faith and The Mayor. Yes, they are the villains, but they also form such a close and caring father/daughter relationship mirroring that of Buffy and Giles that is genuinely charming and affecting. Not many shows will invest this much time and real sympathy in its villains.

Why it sucks

Where’s Oz?

Major continuity gaffs. The day after the Deputy Mayor’s murder (in the previous ep.), Buffy went to Faith's (in bright daylight and a clean outfit). This episode begins with Buffy in her pyjamas, waking up from a nightmare. She then goes to school meaning this is at least the second day since the murder. But the detective questioning the witness at the scene of the crime says, "You heard the man scream at about what time last night?" Later that night, Buffy says to Faith, "Less than 24 hours ago, you killed a man."

In the Dock fight it is fairly plain that it is SMG’s stunt double in a lot of the fight. The director didn’t hide the fact very well at all.

How did Wesley get the key to free Faith from Angel’s chains?

What exactly led the police detective to go question Buffy and Faith? It’s a bit of a dramatic leap. Sure, they found wooden shards in his wound but the cops don’t know about slayers. Or do they?

Mr Trick, that super cool vampire dude, goes out like a punk, staked in the back. What a waste of a great character. Boo!

It's Buftastic

It has to be the scene in Faith’s motel room where she molests and assaults poor Xander and almost kills him. Chilling.

Dialogue to die for

Willow: "I've been letting things fester. And I don't like it. I want to be fester-free."

Willow: "Oh, Buffy! Don't cry! I'm sorry. I was too hard on you. Sometimes I unleash, I don't know my own strength. It's bad. I'm bad. I'm a bad, bad, bad person!"

Buffy: "Oh."
Giles: "Oh!"
(They all look at Willow.)
Willow: "I don't need to say 'Oh.' I got it before. They slept together."

Cordelia (seeing Wesley): “Check out Giles: The Next Generation. What's your deal?”

And another thing

Kathleen Wilhoite, who sang the featured song in this episode, is also an actress. One of her notable roles was the recurring character Chloe Lewis on ER.

How many stakes?

Bad Faith is good. 3.5 (out of 5)

Buffy: 3.13 ‘The Zeppo’

Some of Christophe Beck’s great score for this ep. The piece is entitled ‘Dead Guys with Bombs’.

Writer: Dan Vebber
Director: James Whitmore Jr

What's the sitch?

The evil and all-powerful Sisterhood of the Jhe is on its way to Sunnydale to unleash powerful magics in order to open the Hellmouth and send the world in to a seemingly unstoppable apocalypse. Giles is truly scared, while Buffy and Angel are convinced they are about to spend their last night on Earth. Meanwhile Xander is having a crisis of confidence and identity. Cordy, still enjoying torturing him due to his cheating on her with Willow, has pointed out how utterly useless he is to the Scoobies; he’s the one who keeps on having to be saved; the one with no power or knowledge. He’s basically the useless fifth wheel who goes and gets the donuts when the rest are researching and preparing for battle. He’s “The Zeppo” Cordy points out, referring to Herbert “Zeppo” Marx, the oft overlooked Marx Brother who usually played the straight man to his more famous brothers. Determined not to be that guy, Xander borrows his Uncle Rory’s flashy car in order to be “car guy.” But all too quickly he gets involved in his own crazy adventure which sees the Xan man getting embroiled with the local psycho bully, Jack, and his plans to raise from the dead his group of thug buddies, make a bomb, and go blow up the school. On the way through this rollercoaster night, Xander saves Faith from a demon attack…and then goes and loses his virginity to her in her motel room before being rather unceremoniously thrown out by the nonchalant slayer straight after she's had her way with him. Shell-shocked by his brief yet intense time with Faith, Xander must still man up and go on and stop Jack and his buddies from blowing up the school. Meanwhile, elsewhere in the school building (and totally unaware of the explosive zombie plot going on in the basement) Buffy, Angel, and Giles are in an apocalyptic battle to the death as the Hellmouth opens…

What's the sitch beneath the sitch?

No real big underlying metaphor here as this is basically a Xander comedy episode which also looks at his role in the gang and in the show and gives him a chance to shine. He’s not “The Zeppo”, he’s not “car guy,” he’s a whole lot more. Basically, Xander is us. He’s just a normal everyday guy, kinda geeky and not especially talented or gifted at anything…at least not until he discovers carpentry. But what he certainly is is brave, perceptive, and loyal. Xander is the heart of the group. He’s the glue that keeps things together. He’s the guy who sees what's really going on with people when they are far too busy with the big epic apocalypse stuff, and then helps them deal.

Who's giving us the wiggins this week?

Psycho Jack and his zombie buddies, and The Sisterhood of the Jhe (kinda).

Why it rocks

Nicholas Brendon. It’s a Xander comedy episode. Which means Nicky Brendon gets to go full-on funny. And he is so, so good at that. This is simply one of the funniest episodes in all of Buffy…and that’s saying something.

The script. Dan Vebber’s hilarious and beautifully constructed script has Buffy the Vampire Slayer doing Tom Stoppard’s Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. In the same way that Stoppard’s comic play has its two titular characters, being two minor characters from Hamlet, take centre stage while the epic events of Shakespeare’s play form the backdrop, so the same happens here. Xander’s adventure is the 'A' story, while Buffy and co. battling the apocalypse with all the destruction, blood, fights and high emotion that entails (especially between Buffy and Angel) is reduced to being just a sub-plot. It all comes together wonderfully at the end as Xander battles alone to stop crazy Jack and defuse the bomb in the school basement while at the same time Buffy and co upstairs are fighting for their lives to save the world from the creatures released from the now opened Hellmouth.

Xander and ‘Katie’

Xander and Faith – especially the look on Xander’s face as he’s pushed out of her motel room door after the event.

The showdown. The brilliantly edited/cross-cut end sequence, which is played out like a horror version of a French farce…culminating in psycho Jack’s sudden and unexpected demise in the jaws of a wolfed out Oz.

Why it sucks

The Hellmouth monsters still look rubbish.

Oz’s werewolf costume also still looks rubbish.

Jack says that he couldn't raise his dead friends earlier because he "had to wait 8 months for the stars to align," but he died three weeks ago and his "grandpappy" raised him the same night.

It's Buftastic

Xander, feeling out of his depth in trying to stop Jack, goes to find Buffy to ask for her help…only to walk in on her and Angel in the midst of a tearful and hilariously overwrought moment as they prepare for their demise in the face of the imminent apocalypse and declaring their love for each other. Seeing he’s picked a bad moment, Xander apologises and quickly retreats, leaving the pair to their apocalyptic melodrama.

Dialogue to die for

Xander: “What do I have?”
Oz: “An exciting new obsession. Which I feel makes you very special.”
Xander: “Now with the mocking.”

Jack: "You wanna be startin' something?"
Xander: "What? Starting something? Like that Michael Jackson song, right? That was a lot of fun, huh? 'Too high to get over, yeah, yeah.' Remember that fun song?"

Xander: "Is it hard to play guitar?"
Oz: "Not the way I play it."

Xander (referring to his car): "It's my thing."
Willow: "Your thing?"
Xander: "My thing!"
Buffy: "Is this a penis metaphor?"

Buffy: “And, you know, with the pain and the death, maybe you shouldn't be leaping into the fray like that. Maybe you should be... fray-adjacent.”

Xander: “Yeah, great knife. Although I think it may technically be a sword.”
Jack: “She's called Katie.”
Xander: “You gave it a girl's name. How very serial killer of you.”

Jack: “I like you.”
Xander: “Yay?”

And another thing

As in the previous episode ‘Helpless’ the main bad guy here was played by a regular cast member from the defunct 1996 vampire series Kindred: The Embraced. Coincidence or not?

How many stakes?

Funny Xander slays all before him. 4.5 (out of 5)

Buffy: 3.12 ‘Helpless’

Short promo for this episode


Writer: David Fury
Director: James A. Contner

What's the sitch?

It’s Buffy’s birthday again. And that means things aren’t gonna go well. Our girl is turning 18 and she is hoping for her dad to come and take her to see the ice show as he promised. Unfortunately he cries of with work commitments leaving a dejected Buffy to drop some not-so-subtle hints to Giles for him to take her instead. But Giles ignores these hints as he has other far heavier things on his mind. You see Buffy has slowly, over a few days, been getting gradually weaker. And on the day of her 18th birthday she loses all of her slayer powers, reducing her to being a normal girl. And it is Giles who is responsible. He has secretly been hypnotising and drugging her to temporarily take her power away in order for her to undergo an arcane and cruel right of passage where she’ll be locked in a house with a psychotic vampire and expected to defeat him, while temporarily lacking her slayer ability. Unfortunately the said psycho vamp called Zackary Kralik goes and escapes before the test can be held. Feeling intensely guilty at what he’s done to her, Giles admits his deceit to a devastated Buffy who feels seriously betrayed by Giles, her real father figure. To make matters even worse, Kralik, a pre-vamped nutter with a mother fixation, goes and kidnaps Joyce and takes her back to the house where the test was to be held, leaving behind a message for the now seemingly helpless slayer to come save her mom if she can. Buffy does indeed save Joyce and she also slays Kralik using her natural guile and smarts but not before undergoing one heck of a beating at the insane vamp’s hands. Giles, having told Buffy about the test, has nullified it and the visiting Chief Watcher and Giles’s boss, Quentin Travers, fires Giles as punishment.

What's the sitch beneath the sitch?

As in the previous episode, ‘Gingerbread’, parents - specifically fathers this time – get a bashing from Joss and co. Buffy’s father lets her down again and is basically out of her life entirely now, leaving Giles to be her one true father figure…which makes Giles’ betrayal of Buffy by drugging her and putting her in needless danger all the more awful and hard for her to bare. Thankfully though, Giles hates what he’s done and puts a stop to it. This of course puts him at odds with the Watcher’s Council. As Travers points out, Giles has developed a father’s love for Buffy and will protect her to the very best of his ability – even if it means going against his own calling. This is what leads to his being fired.

Who's giving us the wiggins this week?

Psycho vamp Zackary Kralik, Giles (kinda), a couple of watchers who get vamped, and top watcher dude Quentin Travers.

Why it rocks

Father figure. The theme of this episode - fathers and their relationships with their children - is strong and meaningful and the focus on Buffy and Giles and their father/daughter relationship vs. their Watcher/Slayer one is great.

Fairytales again. Yep, two episodes in a row and Buffy remains in fairytale land. This time it is Little Red Riding Hood. Kralik is the wolf pursuing Buffy who is even wearing a bright red hooded cloak. Kralik then uses that same cloak to fool Joyce in to thinking he is Buffy. My, what big teeth you have, Mr Kralik. And speaking of…

Zackary Kralik. He is one creepy nasty vampire. Jeff Kober, a big and intimidating presence who towers over little SMG, plays him as a smart yet demented Hannibal Lecter type complete with his own small Lector-like cell and psycho restraints.

Tony and Sarah. Tony Head and Sarah Michelle Gellar are simply wonderful here. The parental bond between Buffy and Giles is so strong that the heartrending betrayal Buffy feels when she finds out what Giles has done will surely get to you. Just watch her face as Giles admits what he’s done to her. Nobody does emotional pain quite like SMG. And at the end Buffy’s allowing of Giles to silently bathe her wounds in an accepted act of contrition is so very tender and touching.

Smart Buffy. She defeats Kralik using intelligence and trickery rather than brute force proving that she is indeed far more than just a strong girl who can beat people up real good.

Harris Yulin. The veteran character actor, a familiar face to many, is great as head watcher Quentin Travers. He does a flawless British accent and is cool and condescending to all around him, and especially to Buffy, who, by episodes end, is taking no crap from any officious watcher type. His patronising congratulations to the beaten, blooded, traumatised girl being met with a steely “Bite me!” Heh! Go Buffster.

Buffy says, “Bite me!” See above for more on her deliciously delivered retort to Travers.

Why it sucks

Why the heck would the Watcher’s Council put their slayer through such a dangerous test where the likelihood is she’ll be killed? It’s kinda stupid…but then a lot of traditions tend to be stupid and no longer relevant to modern life.

Kralik is a vampire and yet still requires regular pills to help ease his violent headaches. Um, when you’re a vamp I thought you were supposed to heal and not to suffer from physical ailments? But then I suppose it could be to do with his insanity or maybe even be psychosomatic. After all Drusilla retained her psychic abilities after being vamped and also remained insane, so who knows?

Buffy running for her life and pleading for help from anyone nearby is messed up and rather too similar for my tastes to SMG’s role in the shite horror film I Know What You Did Last Summer which came out just over a year before this episode originally aired. Maybe it was a homage or something.

Faith is once again MIA :(

It's Buftastic

“Bite me!” The source of many a future Buffy related T-shirt and poster.

Dialogue to die for

Buffy: "Actually I do have a date. Older man. Very handsome. Likes it when I call him Daddy."
Angel: "Your father... It is your father, right?"

Buffy: "OK. So how do you know if ones aura is dirty? Does somebody come by with a finger and write 'Wash Me' on it?"

Buffy: “I dunno. I think it might be time to put a moratorium on parties in my honour. They tend to go badly. Monsters crash. People die.”

Quentin: “Congratulations again.”
Buffy: “Bite me.”

Buffy: “You know, nothing's really gonna change. The important thing is that I kept up my special birthday tradition of gut-wrenching misery and horror.”

And another thing

This is the only time in Buffy that holy water is used to kill a vampire.
As a child Willow once threw up on Woodstock, backstage at "Snoopy on Ice."

Harris Yulin who plays Quentin Travers is a venerable character actor who has appeared in many stage productions, films and television programmes in a career spanning almost fifty years. Some of his best known film roles are in Scarface, Ghostbusters 2, Clear and Present Danger, The Hurricane and Training Day. On TV, as well as Buffy he’s appeared in numerous shows including Kojack, Wonder Woman, Deep Space Nine, The X-Files and 24.

Jeff Kober who played Zackary Kralik also played a recurring vampire role in the short lived 1996 TV series Kindred: The Embraced.

Dominic Keating who played one of the watcher heavies looking after Kralik went on to play Malcolm Reed in Star Trek: Enterprise.

How many stakes?

Bad dads. 4 (out of 5)