BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 6.10 WRECKED

Trailer

WRITER: Marti Noxon

DIRECTOR: David Solomon

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Returning home the next morning following their respective nights out, Buffy is ashamed of having slept with Spike and Willow is exhausted from having used so much magic. Later, still feeling drained from her over indulgence, Willow is taken by Amy to see a grubby sorcerer named Rack who deals in quick and powerful fixes of dark magic which quickly get Willow hooked. Later on that evening and Willow and Dawn head out together to go see a movie but Willow decides to make a stop at Rack's on the way to get another fix. This puts poor Dawn in to all sorts of unnecessary danger with the unforeseen consequences of Willow's latest dark magic fix being the summoning of a deadly demon who seems intent on killing the doped up witch and her teenage charge.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Drug addiction and its consequences to both the individual and to those they love.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Nasty dark magic dealer Rack, a scary demon, and also Willow and her magically addicted selfishness.

WHY IT ROCKS

Self satisfied Spike lying amidst the rubble and waving Buffy's discarded underwear at the disgusted-with-herself slayer.

Trippy, man! The sequences of Willow high (literally) on Rack's magic are nicely shot with some cool trippy FX.

Jeff Kober is suitably sleazy and creepy as Rack.

Willow enchanting one of Tara's dresses, filling it out with an invisible body to snuggle up to is touching and a wonderful visual effect.

Alyson Hannigan does doped up and self destructive pretty well.

Buffy's quiet talk with a distraught Willow and seeing herself in Willow's shoes thanks to her own 'addiction' to Spike is a great scene with SMG nailing every beat.

WHY IT SUCKS

The drug addiction metaphor is so in your face that it soon becomes kind of annoying. Don't do drugs kids, mmkay?

Neither Dawn nor Willow are wearing seat belts when the car they are in crashes in to the pillar at speed. No apparent airbags either. Dawnie would have gone through the wind sheild and Willow been crushed against the steering wheel. Both would almost certainly be goners. Yet both girls walk away with a few cuts, bruises and one slight fracture.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Magical Tara dress.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Xander: Anya has a theory. She thinks Martha Stewart froze that guy.
Anya: Don't be ridiculous. Martha Stewart isn't a demon. She's a witch.
Xander: Please, she... really?
Anya: Of course. Nobody could do that much decoupage without calling on the powers of darkness

Buffy: When...when did the building fall down?

Buffy: The only thing that's different is that I'm disgusted with myself. That's the power of your charms. Last night was the most perverse, degrading experience of my life.
Spike (grins): Yeah. Me, too.

Dawn: I'll leave a note for Buffy on the refrigerator. That's the first place she goes after patrolling. She's such a pig after she kills things.

Dawn: It was like a meat party in my mouth! Okay, now I'm just a kid and even I know that came out wrong.

AND ANOTHER THING

Actor Jeff Kober who plays Rack is probably best known in the UK for his series of Bacardi adverts, in which he was Ray from Reef Radio. He also played insane vampire Zackary Kralik in the season 2 Buffy episode Helpless.

The music playing when Willow is floating on Rack's ceiling is Laika's Black Cat Bone.

This episode is dedicated in memoriam to J.D. Peralta, who was Marti Noxon's assistant. She died of cancer on November 12, 2002, at the age of 31.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Amidst the wreckage we find 3 (out of 5)

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 6.9 SMASHED

Dailies

WRITER: Drew Z. Greenberg

DIRECTOR: Turi Meyer

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

After her break up with Tara, a morose Willow successfully de-rats Amy and the two powerful witches begin hanging out together and having fun with their magic, which pulls Willow ever deeper into her growing addiction and eventually puts Dawn in danger too. Meanwhile, Spike discover that the chip in his head, which is supposed to prevent him from hurting humans, doesn't kick in after he gets in to some angry fisticuffs with Buffy. After a quick trip to the nerd trio for a consult, the platinum vamp comes to the conclusion that his chip is working fine and that it is actually post-resurrection Buffy who is now somehow 'wrong'.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Making bad choices. Giving in to temptation. Going to dark destructive places.

In Smashed, Willow succumbs fully to her magic addiction and with the now de-ratted Amy she finds the perfect enabler as well as partner in crime. Amy is the anti-Tara. She has no sense of responsibility, no self control. Magic to her is all about her own pleasure and fun. She doesn't see the self destructive side of it, or if she does she chooses to ignore it. And Willow follows her down that path with only the smallest of nudges needed. Meanwhile Buffy is also being tempted and pulled down a dark self destructive path of her own by non other than Spike. She knows he is not good for her and that being 'with' him will only lead to bad things. And yet...

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Hmm, there is no real villain here. No big monster. The enemy is within both Buffy and Willow: their own weakness in the face of temptation. Spike gets an honourable mention though for threatening the Fett.

WHY IT ROCKS

Character, character, character! This is an internal episode. This time the monsters are within. Smashed is all about what Willow and Buffy are feeling, how they are dealing (or not dealing) with the current state of their lives. We watch them think, feel, make choices, and ultimately take dangerous paths.

Amy the ex-Rat. Yup, Amy the witch who turned herself in to a rat to escape a roasting in the season 3 episode Gingerbread is finally de-ratted by Willow. Elizabeth Anne Allen returns as Amy and she is great.

Freeze Ray. The Trio's diamond powered freeze ray is a mucho fun precursor to Doctor Horrible's same invention.

Tara. Amber Benson is always wonderful as Tara and never more so than here as she spends time with Dawn and promises her that although she and Willow are not together anymore she will still always be there for the teenager.

Buffy at the museum jumping up and down to try and see over the gathered crowd's heads as the frozen guard is wheeled away. Buff looks so tiny and cute here as she tries to see what's going on. She may be super powered but she's still ickle.

Magic pool. Amy and Willow play a game of pool at the Bronze sans cues. Very cool.

Spike and Buffy bring the house down. Yep, THAT scene is in this ep. Finally, vampire and slayer get it on. And the results are destructive and unforgettable.

WHY IT SUCKS

Willow and Amy's hijinks at the Bronze are kinda lame.

Somehow I don't think the British Museum would lend Sunnydale Museum a huge priceless diamond, especially seeing how there is no security except for one aged security guard called Rusty.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

And the house comes down as Buff and Spike get freaky

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Willow: I know. Xander engaged. I couldn't believe it either.
Amy: It's so weird. So, what's she like?
Willow: Thousand year old, capitalist ex-demon with rabbit phobia.
Amy: Well, that's so his type.

Buffy: Hey, how've you been?
Amy: Rat. You?
Buffy: Dead.
Amy: Oh.

Spike: I'm in love with you.
Buffy: You're in love with pain!

Warren: Right. But you don't want to hurt the Fett... because, man, you're not comin' back from that! You know, you don't just do that and walk away.

AND ANOTHER THING

The Spike and Buffy getting it on scene was originally a lot longer and more graphic but the network, UPN, told Joss and co. it needed to be cut back. Also CGI smoke was added to help obscure certain shots.

Due to the rather intense nature of the Buffy/Spike sex scene this episode became the focus of a FCC investigation for indecency after a complaint from a watchdog group. Fortunately, the FCC deemed the episode as not being indecent at all.

When Willow and Amy visit the Bronze, the band Virgil are performing the track Vermillion Borders. Later, when Willow grows bored of the music, she transforms them into another group, Halo Friendlies.

HOW MANY STAKES?

A smashing 3.5 out of 5

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 6.8: TABULA RASA

Welcome to the nancy tribe


WRITER: Rebecca Rand Kirshner

DIRECTOR: David Grossman

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

And the fallout from the events in OMWF begin to take shape. Giles tells an angry and petulant Buffy that he is going back to England permanently as he knows he is now standing in the way of her personal growth. Tara and Willow take a break from their relationship with Willow promising Tara that she'll give up magic for a week to prove that she doesn't have a major problem. And Spike pursues an in denial Buffy determined for them to talk about their big kiss...only to be interrupted by the arrival of a demonic loan shark demanding kittens he says Spike owes him. Later that night, the entire gang (including a hiding out Spike) gather at the Magic Box where Giles is about to tell them he's leaving permanently for England. But before he can break the news a spell Willow has secretly cast backfires and the gang suddenly lose all memory of who they really are. Meanwhile, outside the store, Mr Loan Shark and his goons have arrived looking for final payment from Spike.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Are we simply the sum of our memories and experiences or is there something else at work? Tabula rasa is Latin for 'blank slate' and in 1607 philosopher Francis Bacon put forward the idea that we are all born in to the world as a blank slate, knowing nothing and that personality is imprinted upon us through memory and experience. However Charles Darwin went on to put forward the idea that our emotions and actions are at least in part based upon instincts which are hereditary. These two competing ideas are tested in this episode with Joss and co. seeming to come down on the side of Darwin. Although Buffy and the gang have no idea who they are, they soon adopt roles based upon instinctual reactions (once they've gotten over the initial fear and confusion of not knowing who they are). For instance, Buffy and Dawn pretty quickly figure out they are sisters and Buffy takes on a leadership role as well as her muscle memory seeming to kick in what with her unthinking ability to fight and slay. But as well as the nature/nurture thing this episode is also about pushing the characters in to new and not so fun places. If OMWF exposed the lies and the secrets they'd all been concealing, then Tabula Rasa forces them to confront those lies and secrets head on and then do something about them. The most obvious examples being with Giles leaving Buffy, Tara leaving Willow, and Spike and Buffy finally (at least in part) resolving the emotional and physical dance they've been doing with each other.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Loan Shark and his vamp goons. And Willow too I guess.

WHY IT ROCKS

A perfect example of Buffyness: By which I mean that while it's not the best episode of the series ever, Tabula Rasa manages to encompass all of the things that are great about Buffy the show. For a start, the episode is about something with a central idea and theme. It is also character driven and pushes the characters forward (or possibly backward), delivering serious personal drama and serious emotional pain while also managing to be being gloriously silly in places and very, very funny thanks to a clever script and pitch perfect performances from the cast.

Randy Giles: James Marsters as Spike is on top form. After having his memory wiped Spike thinks he is Giles' son named Randy (due to them both being English and the label inside his tweed jacket that says 'property of Randy' – part of a disguise he's wearing to elude the loan shark). Spike aka Randy then acts all disgusted with his name and immediately assumes he and 'dad' have major father/son issues.

Giles and Anya sitting in a tree: Giles and Anya believing they are an engaged couple who run the Magic Box and that Anya is 'Randy's' new young step-mother-to-be. Much bickering ensues leading Giles to discover his one way plane ticket to London, thinking he was about to flee the engagement.

Bunnies: Desperately trying random spells to help the situation Anya accidentally conjours up a plague of bunnies which sends her atop a table in yelping horror.

Skeleton sword fight: in a wonderful homage to Jason and the Argonauts Giles sword fights a skeleton after another attempted spell of Anya's goes badly wrong.

Randy the Vampire: Spike aka Randy, in the midst of a fight alongside Buffy (calling herself Joan), suddenly goes all vamp faced much to both his and Buffy's surprise. This leads Spike to tell Buffy he is probably a good vampire, one with a soul, searching for redemption. To which Buffy snorts and says that is just so lame.

Xander's comedy faint.

Willow and Tara: Alyson Hannigan and Amber Benson are both superb in their scenes together dealing with Willow's abuse of magic and their growing estrangement. But it is Amber as Tara who is the driving force and who makes the big decisions. She is terrific and really does bring on the lump in the throat moments.

The final few minutes: the sad conclusion to the episode is played out with no dialogue while Michelle Branch sings her emotional acoustic ballad 'Goodbye to You' live at the Bronze.

WHY IT SUCKS

The loan shark being an actual man with a shark's head is just a bit too silly for its own good. Plus they really want kittens that bad? What is it with kittens?

Buffy and Spike engage in a big, violent and noisy brawl with several of Loan Shark's vamp goons in the middle of a suburban street full of houses with their lights on and cars in the yard. And yet nobody comes out to see what all the ruckus is or at least calls the cops? Weird.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Goodbye to You: an emotional dialogue free denouement.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Xander: I just feel weird feeling bad that my friend's not dead. It's too mind-boggling. So I've decided to simplify the whole thing. Me like Buffy. Buffy's alive, so, me glad.

Giles: Spike?
Anya: Holy moly!
Spike (dressed in Tweed and bow tie): You need to give me asylum.
Xander: I'll say.

Giles: We'll get our memory back and it'll all be right as rain.
Spike: Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy-boy accent. You Englishmen are always so... Bloody hell! Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks. Oh, god. I'm English.
Giles: Welcome to the nancy-tribe.

Spike: Oh, great -- a tarty step-mother who's half old Daddy's age.
Anya: Tarty?
Giles: Old?

Giles: Anyway, what did I call you?
Spike: (looks at jacket label) "Made with care for Randy." Randy Giles? Why not just call me "Horny Giles" or "Desperate-for-a-shag Giles"? I knew there was a reason I hated you.

Spike: Dad can drive. He's bound to have some classic mid-life crisis transport. Something red, shiny, shaped like a penis.

Buffy: Hey, stay away from Randy! (stakes Vamp)

Buffy: Ready, Randy?
Spike: Ready, Joan.

Buffy: I kill your kind.
Spike: And I bite yours. So how come I don't want to bite you? And why am I fighting other vampires? I must be a noble vampire. A good guy, on a mission of redemption. I help the helpless. I'm a vampire with a soul.
Buffy: A vampire with a soul? Oh my god, how lame is that?

Giles (surrounded by white fluffy bunnies): Clearly, that is not a helpful book, darling. Come down and we'll go about fixing this in a sensible fashion.
Anya (standing on a table): Sensible? You think it's sensible for me to go down into that pit of cotton-top hell, and let them hippety-hop all over my vulnerable flesh?

Xander: (laughs) Sorry, I just got back the memory of seeing "King Ralph".

AND ANOTHER THING

The tweed suit Spike wears for most of the episode is similar to the one he wore in Xander's dream in 4.22 Restless. In the dream Giles said he looked upon Spike as a son.

The tweed jacket and bow tie combo of Spike's bears a resemblance to Matt Smith's first costume as The Doctor in Doctor Who. Plus James Marsters played Captain John in the DWH spin-off show Torchwood while Tony Head appeared as an alien baddie in the David Tennant DWH episode School Reunion.

Michelle Branch's song Goodbye to You which she sings in the Bronze at the end of the episode was a pretty big hit taken from her platinum selling album The Spirit Room.

Giles does indeed have a red and shiny sports car. We first saw it in Real Me.

Buffy quotes Macbeth when she says 'What we did is done'.

Buffy names herself Joan. After Joan of Arc maybe? Seems she has something of an instinctive martyr complex having died twice already.

HOW MANY STAKES?

A hilarious and heartache-y 4 (out of 5)

Argento sucks the life out of Dracula

Dario Argento's Dracula 3D


Argento's version of Lucy's staking.


Coppola's version of the same scene.

And so here we have the latest adaptation of one of THE great works of horror literature, a new representation of one of the world's most enduring villains given to us by someone who was once an unquestioned master of horror cinema.

So it should be great, right? Something any self respecting horror fan should be gasping to see, right?

Um...

Well, first thing to say is that I didn't see Dario Argento's Dracula in 3D. Thank God!

Second thing to say is that, sadly, Dario Argento's Dracula 3D is a laughably terrible adaptation of Stoker's classic tale with, I'd imagine, the only worthwhile 3D in it being the extra dimensions added to the luscious Italian ladies of the cast who somehow ended up in this utter tosh. Okay, so the effortlessly sexy Asia Argento couldn't really say no to her role what with her legendary dad being co-writer and director. But what excuse for the rest? Judging by the cheap and shoddy production values it doesn't look as if the ladies could have made any money out of it. So, the lure of working for the (once) great man maybe?

That greatness has long since gone.

Argento's take on Drac comes across as something of a bastard offspring of Hammer's fun 50's romp Horror of Dracula mixed with elements of Coppola's awesome 1992 version. The entirety of the story takes place in the same small Eastern European town ala Horror, and it has a reincarnated love interest thing going on, as in Coppola's film. The only notable additions to the myth here is that the village elders seem to have entered in to a secret Faustian pact with Drac (Thomas Kretschmann with his scary side parting, looking and sounding like a cranky bank manager). It's a pact that sees the town get money and status out of Dracula's presence while Drac gets to suck on a few of its young lovelies in return. In to this comes librarian Jonathan Harker (Unax Ugalde – uncomfortable and wooden), employed by the Count to take stock of his castle's huge and dusty old library. Though this job offer soon turns out to be nothing but a ruse to lure Harker's demure young wife Mina (Marta Gastini - okay in her own petite, doe eyed innocent way) to the remote town seeing as how she bears a striking resemblance to Drac's long lost love. Of course, Harker gets vamped by buxom vampire bride Tania (Miriam Giovanelli – charismatically sexy and nicely ferocious) and promptly disappears, leading to Mina coming to town to find him. This also gives young Mina the opportunity to meet up with her old friend Lucy (Asia Argento - comatose), a bored local piano teacher who lives at home with daddy still. Not long after, Lucy pegs it due to Drac's suckage, and old codger Van Helsing (a sleepy and bored looking Rutger Hauer) turns up to try and kill Drac who he's been hunting for years. Cue lots of running around in woods, terrible CG effects, casual nudity, casual blood spilling and some of the worst performances ever from actors who should be so much better (Argento, Kretschmann, Hauer). I mean, who on earth casts the gorgeous and effortlessly sexy Asia Argento as a Lucy who is such a dull and boring go nowhere character? Yes, her role in the tale is to get vamped which then spurns our heroes on. But Lucy is supposed to be fun, wild, loving the boys, loving teasing the boys. I can see Asia doing that. I'd love to see Asia doing that. But no, here she is comatose with inaction. And yet daddy Argento still makes her get naked. Just the once mind. Gotta exploit your little girl's two biggest assets at least once per movie I suppose, right Dario?

I have no idea the budget for Dracula 3D but the movie sure looks cheap and is saddled with some of the most laughable CG effects seen in a mainstream film for a good long while. The script is appalling, filled with lines cheesier than a cheese cake made only of cheese, its plotting so haphazard and throwaway you'd think they were just making it all up as they went along. And worst of all, how on earth did the man who gave us the horrifically gorgeous, stylish and atmospheric Suspiria manage to make a film so utterly devoid of any style, atmosphere and tension? Okay, there are a couple of quite nice gore moments and maybe one reasonably effective jump scare. But that's it. The lighting is flat. The sets sparse and cheap. The FX laughable.

The sad truth is Argento couldn't even direct traffic anymore. Just watch how spectacularly he fluffs the staking of Vampire Lucy in her crypt sequence. Remember Coppola's take? Stunningly strange, bloody and genuinely creepy. Forget that here. It's hilarious. Like badly staged panto. No, the only things this movie has going for it is the undoubted sexiness and ferocious charm of Miriam Giovanelli as super hot vampire bride Tanya, giving by far the best performance in the film, and a wonderfully camp operatic rock song over the end credits.

In summation, Dario Argento's Dracula 3D is a bad film. A very bad film. There's no doubt about that. But at least it's not offensively bad in a Uwe Boll kind of way. It's just ultra cheap, cheesy and flatly made. It never makes you angry. In fact, it will probably make you laugh a fair bit. Also it's never boring due to the sheer hilarity of its camp awfulness. Approach it as a camp vampire panto and you might just have some fun. Still, it does make you wonder whatever happened to the man who made horror classics such as Suspiria and Tenebre. Disappointing then to say the least. But, hey, at least it's better than Wes Craven Presents Dracula 2000. Ugh! Now that's REAL Dracula suckage for you!

BUFFY 5.22: THE GIFT

Epic trailer

WRITER: Joss Whedon

DIRECTOR: Joss Whedon

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Glory has Dawn and is having her prepared for the ritual bleeding which will open the portal, allowing her to return home but in the process dropping all the walls between dimensions, causing death and carnage on a global scale. If opened the only way to close the portal and thus save the world is to kill Dawn. Giles spells this out to Buffy in no uncertain words. But Buffy is resolute that nobody will be killing her little sister, no matter what, even if it means the end of the world. And she will stop anyone who tries. Thankfully the gang come up with a plan to try and prevent Glory from opening the portal to begin with hopefully bypassing the need for any Dawn killing. Using the dagonsphere retrieved from the monks who made the Key in to Dawn, plus Olaf the Troll’s mighty troll hammer, the Scoobies plan to keep Glory occupied and on the ropes until she misses her brief opportunity to open the portal.

Using poor Tara as an unwitting guide, Buffy and the gang follow the brain-sucked witch as she is mystically drawn towards the gathering of Glory’s disciples, all of them coming together at the site of the forthcoming portal opening. There, the Scoobies are met with the imposing sight of a huge tower especially built for the occasion. Meanwhile Dawn has already been taken to the top of said tower by the minions, where she’s been tied up and left ready for Glory to come and begin the ritual bleeding.

Battle quickly commences.

Using the Buffybot and the dagonsphere to confuse and distract Glory, Buffy manages to get part-way up the tower in an attempt to rescue her sister… only to be attacked by Glory. The two engage in a furious fight up and down the tower but eventually end up falling from it to then continue their fight back down on the ground. As they continue their fight, Willow sneaks up on Glory and, using a spell, manages to take back what Glory stole from Tara. This returns Tara to normal and also weakens Glory significantly.

Meanwhile Spike, Giles, Anya and Xander are pinned down by the mob. But Spike spies someone else up on the tower with Dawn. Turns out that nasty demon Doc is back. He’s armed with a knife and is looking to help Glory by starting the ritual. Willow, using magic, clears a path for Spike who makes a break for it and rushes to the top of the tower where he engages Doc in a brief but futile battle to save Dawn. Spike is quickly bested and thrown off of the tower. Wasting no more time Doc cuts Dawn, spilling her blood. And the portal begins to open.

Back down below, Buffy has finally bested a weakened Glory, pummelling her in to submission using the mighty troll hammer. Glory, defeated, turns back in to Ben as Buffy runs back up the tower to get to Dawn. As Buffy goes, so Giles comes to seemingly help a wounded Ben. But instead of helping Ben he smothers the young man, killing him, thus preventing Glory from ever returning.

Reaching the top of the tower, Buffy quickly dispatches Doc and goes to help Dawn. But Dawn refuses her help, saying that she has to die as the portal has already opened and the demon dimensions have already started bleeding in to our world. Buffy can see the portal, a growing ball of light just below them, and all the hellish creatures that are now coming through it. But even so, she stops Dawn from throwing herself off of the tower.

It is then that Buffy has an epiphany.

She finally works out what the First Slayer meant when she said that death was Buffy’s gift. Buffy also remembers that the monks said they made Dawn from her – flesh, bone and blood. The same blood courses through both girls’ veins. Summers blood - the key to everything.

Buffy makes a decision.

After whispering to a tearful Dawn, she gives her sister a kiss, then turns away, runs along the gantry and throws herself off of the tower, plunging down in to the energy vortex below.

A short time later, as the sun rises on a new day, the Scooby Gang back on the ground are devastated to see the lifeless body of Buffy who sacrificed herself to close the portal, to save the world, saving her sister too.

The final image of the episode is a lone headstone with the engraved legend reading:

Buffy Anne Summers

1981-2001

Devoted Sister
Beloved Friend

She Saved the World
A Lot


WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Self sacrifice - especially for those you love; discovering who you really are and what meaning your life truly has, and learning how best to pummel a hell god in to submission using a really big hammer.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Glory, Ben, Doc, fate.

WHY IT ROCKS

It’s a Joss episode. It just does, okay?

The “Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer…” – for this episode, the 100th, it is a super fast compilation of all the show’s key moments from episode 1.1 right up to date. This leads in to a boy running from a vampire…only to be saved at the last minute by Buffy who fights and then stakes the vamp. The disbelieving boy asks her how she can do that, because she’s just a girl. To which Buffy replies simply, “That’s what I keep saying.” This is a pre-title sequence, which in just a couple of minutes is a perfect summation of the entire show.

Giles and Buffy arguing over killing Dawn and Buffy’s shocked reaction when Giles shouts at her.

Anya and Xander having comfort sex in the Magic Box basement.

Xander scaring himself when he suddenly uncovers the Buffybot stored in the Magic Box basement.

Anya subsequently scaring herself by uncovering a toy fluffy bunny in the magic Box basement.

Spike’s comment about Buffy’s speech not exactly being the St Crispen’s day speech, Giles’ reply and Spike’s follow up.

Xander and the wrecking ball

The Buffy vs. Glory fight up and down the tower. It’s very athletic with some great stunts and choreography.
Giles unleashes Ripper to chilling effect.

The sacrifice sequence as Buffy realises what she must do, with the slowly rising sun behind her and a tearful Dawn before her, followed by the act itself and the plunge in to the portal as overlaid we hear her earlier whispered message to Dawn.

Spike’s shattered reaction to seeing Buffy’s broken body on the ground.

The final shot: the headstone and its engraving.

Joss’s script. It brings together perfectly all the thematic strands of the show and of this season in to one perfect moment: Buffy’s realisation of who she truly is and what she has to do. It’s quite beautiful and heart wrenching at the same time.

The performances. All are at the top of their game here but once again SMG just kills it. The emotional weight and intensity of her performance is quite something. I always enjoy how Joss directs her. He likes tight close-ups on her face because he knows she sells inner turmoil and harnessed emotions so well - the look from deep in her eyes, the subtle twitch of a lip. Also worth noting is James Marsters who proves Spike is no mere monster on a leash. The last shot of him, collapsed, crying in to his hands over Buffy’s body is possibly the one single image from this episode that lingers.

Christophe Beck’s score is beautiful and emotional.

WHY IT SUCKS

Spike gets bested by Doc a bit too easily.

The battle on the ground is a bit small scale – only about a dozen or so minions and crazy people to fight.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Devastated Spike

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Guy: ‘But... you're just a girl.’
Buffy: ‘That's what I keep saying.’

Buffy: ‘I'm counting on you to protect her.’
Spike: 'Til the end of the world. Even if that happens to be tonight.’

Giles: ‘If the ritual starts every living creature in this and every other dimension imaginable will suffer unbearable torment and death. Including Dawn.’
Buffy: ‘Then the last thing she'll see is me protecting her.’

Buffy: ‘This is how many apocalypses for us now?’
Giles: ‘Six at least.’
Buffy: ‘Feels like a hundred.’
(An in joke as this is the 100th episode)

Xander: "Spike's sex-bot. Why didn't they just melt it down into scrap?"
Anya: "Maybe Willow wanted it."
Xander: "I don't think Willow feels that way about Buffy... I mean, I know she's going through a lot of changes..."
Anya: "To study."
Xander: "Right. Robotics. Science."
Anya: "Pervert."
Xander: "Other pervert."

Buffy: ‘I sacrificed Angel to save the world. I loved him so much. But I knew what was right. I don't have that anymore. I don't understand. I don't know how to live in this world if these are the choices. If everything just gets stripped away. I don't see the point. I just wish that... I just wish my mom was here.’

Xander: ‘Smart chicks are sooo hot.’ (looking fondly at Anya)
Willow: ‘You couldn't have figured that out in tenth grade?’

Buffy: "Remember: The ritual starts, we all die; and I'll kill anyone who comes near Dawn."
Spike: "Well, not exactly the St. Crispin's Day speech, was it?"
Giles: "We few, we happy few..."
Spike: "...we band of buggered."

Buffy: ‘Dawn, listen to me. Listen. I love you. I will always love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles ... tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I'm okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world ... is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me.’

AND ANOTHER THING

In 2008 at the 60th Annual Emmy Awards, The Gift won the special audience voted award for the most memorable moment in TV history – Buffy’s end sacrifice – beating out shows such as The X-Files, E.R. and Mash amongst others.

Joss originally planned The Gift to be Buffy’s genuine finale because at the time the WB were dropping the show due to not being able to come to financial terms with the show’s maker 20th Century Fox. Thankfully though, midway through the season, rival network UPN made Fox a strong offer. They purchased Buffy and allowed it to run for a further two seasons before finally ending for real.

Here in the UK it was nearly impossible not to know what happened in this ep before it was screened. One national newspaper even ran a "Buffy Dies" special and Sky One kept on showing trailers featuring Buffy's grave, the first trailer running directly after The Weight of the World. Doh!

HOW MANY STAKES?

It’s a gift from Joss. 5 (out of 5)



And so ends my Buffy season five rewatch/review. On to season six sometime soon.

BUFFY 5.18 'INTERVENTION'

Tribute to the Buffybot

WRITER: Jane Espenson

DIRECTOR: Michael Gershman

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Giles takes Buffy out to the desert for a spiritual retreat to find focus and answers about the true nature of being the Slayer. Back in Sunnydale, the robot Buffy that Spike ordered from nasty Warren back in ‘I was made to love you’ has been completed with a very happy Spike using his new Buffybot for lots of role-play sexcapades. Unfortunately Buffy’s friends spot Spike and the Buffybot cavorting in the cemetery and, thinking that it is the real Buffy, they become worried and decide on an intervention to help her. Meanwhile, Glory discovers that the Key is human and dispatches her minions to find the person most important to Buffy and then bring them to her, believing that person will almost certainly be the Key. Charged with their new mission, Glory’s minions soon spot the Buffybot with Spike, the bot being extra protective of Spike in the midst of an unexpected vampire scrap. Thinking it is the real Buffy and convinced that Spike must be the Key, the minions kidnap him and take him to Glory, who pretty quickly discovers that Spike is not in fact the Key but decides to torture him until he tells her who is. Soon after, Buffy returns home from her spiritual retreat, smack bang in to her friend’s mistaken intervention. Bewildered, poor Buff thinks her friends have lost it when they accuse her of sleeping with Spike. And that’s when the Buffybot turns up and informs the shocked group that Spike has been kidnapped by Glory and must be rescued pronto. Disgusted by the bot and afraid that Spike will tell Glory about Dawn, Buffy heads out to find the platinum vamp and to put him down once and for all, hopefully before he can spill the beans to Glory about her little sis being the Key.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

It’s the continuing misadventures of Spike and his creepy and unrequited love for the Buffster. There are other themes at play here too, deeper and more serious ones about questioning what it means to be human (or a Slayer) and what effect does being outwardly hard and doing a hard and often deeply unpleasant job have on someone? These are the questions Buffy is asking herself and is worried she is losing her humanity. Maybe these are questions people in the real world ask themselves, for example people in the military who have to do awful things in order to do their duty and the toll it then takes on their soul.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Glory

WHY IT ROCKS

Funny Buffy: Despite the Buffy soul searching and the torture of Spike (and Spike’s creepy sex doll sexcapades) Intervention is a highly fun episode. For starters it is a Jane Espenson script. And nobody brings the Buffy funny quite like Jane. The intervention itself is hilarious, especially with Xander trying to be understanding of Buffy’s supposed attraction to Spike and only making it sound as if he secretly fancies the platinum vamp himself. After the dark and emotionally intense last few episodes (especially The Body) it comes as something of a cleansing breath of air, allowing us to smile and laugh again. And a big part of that is down to…

The Buffybot: A crazily inspired creation of Joss, Jane and co, the Buffybot allows SMG to attack her role from an entirely new angle, allowing for pure and innocent comedy gold. You can tell Sarah is having way too much fun as the perpetually chirpy, childlike, Spike obsessed robobabe. She gets to blurt out truthful lines ala Anya but always with a bright and pretty smile and with a charming innocence and an eagerness to please. Thankfully Buffybot will stick around in to next season. And when she finally goes to the great robo scrap heap in the sky it says a lot that it gives the audience a genuine emotional punch, seeing as how we’ve all come to love her so much.

Spike the hero: Our favourite bad boy vamp gets put through the wringer here, beaten and tortured by Glory while trying to get out of him the truth about the Key. But Spike, a soulless monster, won’t give in. He would never betray Dawn. And at the end of the episode, in a nice bit of subterfuge, he gets a sweet and unexpected reward for his loyalty.

Giles doing the Hokey Pokey (or Okey Cokey to us Britishers)

WHY IT SUCKS

I’m with Buffy here. She is shocked and kinda appalled that her friends didn’t spot pretty quick that something was up with ‘her’. They spotted back in ‘I was made to love you’ that April was a robot pretty sharpish but couldn’t make the connection when their best friend started acting just like April? Great!

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Every scene with the Buffybot

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Buffybot: (to Willow and co. referring to sex with Spike): "It wasn't one time. It was lots of times, and lots of different ways. I can make sketches!"

Buffybot: "Angel's lame. His hair goes straight up, and he's bloody stupid!"

Buffybot (in the midst of conversation with Willow ): "You're recently gay!"

Glory (about Spike): "What the hell is that, and why is its hair that colour?"

Buffybot (seeing Buffy): "Say! look at you! You look just like me! We're very pretty."

Buffy: “I mean I can beat up the demons until the cows come home. And then, I can beat up the cows. But I'm not sure I like what it's doing to me.”

Buffybot (going out to patrol): “Time to slay. Vampires of the world beware!”

Tara (about Buffy): “You aren't really gonna slap her, are you?”
Xander: “No, but if I have to see her straddle Spike again I will definitely knock myself unconscious.”

Spirit Guide (to Buffy): “Death is your gift.”

Xander: “No one is judging you. It's understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sort of compact, but well muscled.”
Buffy: “I am not having sex with Spike! But I'm starting to think that you might be!”

Spike (to Glory): “Mark my words, the Slayer is going to kick your skanky, lopsided ass — (Concerned, Glory looks at her ass.) — back to whatever place would take a cheap, whorish, fashion-victim ex-God like you.”

AND ANOTHER THING

Nicholas Brendon was ill during the making of this episode so his twin brother Kelly stands in for him in several scenes.

Buffy’s trip to the desert might seem rather confusing and left field but the lessons she learns are key to this season and to what happens in the finale.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Buffybot alone guarantees it… 4 (out of 5)

BUFFY 5.17 'FOREVER'

Nice little trailer for the ep.

WRITER: Marti Noxon

DIRECTOR: Marti Noxon

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Following Joyce’s funeral Dawn goes back to Willow and Tara ’s to stay overnight. While there, she tells the two witches that she wants to use magic to bring Joyce back. Tara says it shouldn’t be done as it is very dangerous and that the dead don’t come back as they were. However Willow is a little less definite on the matter. The following morning Tara and Willow leave for class and Dawn finds a book on magic that point her in the right direction to a resurrection spell. Later that same day she goes and finds some better info on resurrection spells hidden away in the Magic Box’s restricted area. And that night she heads to the graveyard to collect dirt from Joyce’s grave, which is where Spike finds her, and, knowing what she is up to, offers to help her do the spell to bring Joyce back. Spike takes Dawn to see an old man called Doc, who turns out to be a demon. Doc tells them what they need to do to complete the spell including getting hold of an egg from a Ghora demon, which won’t be easy. But the pair does manage to get the egg and Dawn goes home to conduct the resurrection ritual that Doc described. Buffy arrives home just as Dawn is about to complete the spell. Horrified at what her little sister is doing, Buffy pleads with her to stop before it is too late.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

This is all about dealing with loss and grief. How different people deal in different ways. And if one could, who wouldn’t want to bring back a recently deceased loved one? Especially in the case of suddenly alone children who’ve lost the comfort and security of their only remaining parent, the one person who has always taken care of them, taken care of everything. Dawn feels utterly alone. She doesn’t understand why Buffy has been busy and businesslike about the whole horrible affair and she accuses her sister of not even caring that their mother has died.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Creepy old guy Doc I guess, but it is the idea itself, what Dawn is planning that is truly scary.

WHY IT ROCKS

Thematically it’s a good idea, delving in to how individuals deal with the immediate loss of a loved one, especially a child losing a parent.

Angel returns for a poignant (if brief) cameo.

Joel Gray is nicely creepy as Doc. A splendid guest star to nab.

Spike bringing flowers for Joyce. No soul, huh? Could have fooled me.

While Michelle Trachtenberg is fine it is SMG who takes the acting honours. Her sweetly affecting scene with Angel is lovely and her end confrontation with Dawn is powerful and emotional. The look on her face when she thinks her mom has come home is a thing of heartbreak.

Willow’s laxer attitude to Dawn’s request to resurrect Joyce foreshadows what she will do for Buffy in early season six.

WHY IT SUCKS

Though a nice idea the episode is kinda ‘meh’ overall. The scene with Angel is sweet and the big emotionally honest confrontation between sisters at the end is powerful and affecting. But everything in between has the feeling of functional filler. And the less said about the awful rubber Ghora demon the better. Yikes!

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

The final scene between heartbroken sisters.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Spike: "I liked the lady! Understand, monkey boy? She was decent. She didn't put on airs. She always had a nice cuppa for me. (pause) And she never treated me like a freak."

Willow : “I'm gonna stop by my mom's first. Been doing that a lot lately.”
Xander: “Yeah. I actually might stop by your mom's too. (She looks at him.) Well, I'm not going to my place. Those people are scary!”

Dawn: “Nobody's asking you to be Mom.”
Buffy: “Well, who's gonna be if I'm not? Huh, Dawn? Have you even thought about that? Who's gonna make things better? (crying) Who's gonna take care of us?”

AND ANOTHER THING

This episode appears to be inspired by The Monkey's Paw, W.W. Jacobs' classic short horror story about how there's always a price to pay if you interfere with the natural order of things. The end of the story is almost identical to how this episode ends with the moral being the same.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Who wants to live forever? 2.5 (out of 5)

Dark Shadows aka Depp Gets to be Weird Again

Trailer for Dark Shadows (2012)


Trailer for House of Dark Shadows (1970)

Dark Shadows is director Tim Burton and star Johnny Depp’s latest film collaboration. And while it’s not their best (Ed Wood) it certainly isn’t their worst (Alice in Wonderland anybody? No? Okay.)

Based on a US supernatural daytime soap from the 60’s, Dark Shadows follows Barnabas Collins, a cursed vampire imprisoned in a coffin for two hundred years, who is accidentally freed in the year 1972. Finally freed from his centuries old prison, Barnabas sets about helping his descendants in the small New England fishing town of Collinsport rebuild the once great Collins family name and business empire. Unfortunately for Barnabas the witch who cursed him back in the 1770’s is still around in the delectable form of Eva Green and is currently running the town through her own business empire, much of it poached from what the now faded Collins’ family once had. Cue goofy fish out of water fun as Barnabas negotiates his way around 1972 and its many strange social and technical advances while also scheming and plotting to get the family business back on top. Not to mention getting his revenge on nasty/sexy Eva Green. Amidst all these shenanigans the old world vamp also manages to fall for the Collins’ new governess Victoria Winters who bears an uncanny resemblance to the woman he loved long ago and who killed herself while under evil witch Eva’s spell.

If this all sounds like some bad soap opera, well, um, that’s cuz it is.

Now I’ve not seen the original Dark Shadows but I have seen the early 90’s revival and one of the two 70’s movies adapted from the show. And Burton and Depp’s movie sticks pretty close to the main storylines of both: the fading dysfunctional family, Barnabas falling for Victoria, Dr Hoffman’s devious actions, the nasty witch. All present and correct.

But does this new version work as a movie? Yes and no.

I enjoyed Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows. A fair bit. I enjoy Burton’s obvious affection for gothic melodrama. I can relate. I was brought up watching old Hammer horror films - a clear influence on Tim B, especially in Sleepy Hollow, The Corpse Bride, Sweeney Todd and now Dark Shadows (and why Christopher Lee cameos in most of ‘em). I enjoy the aesthetic. Also I’m pretty sure that if the original Dark Shadows had been on TV over here in the UK when I was a kid, then I, like Burton and Depp, would have been hooked too. But a movie is not a TV soap opera. Burton’s movie, like a TV soap opera, has many plot lines and subplots, all lifted from the series. Unlike a TV show, though, a movie is constrained by certain narrative needs and a running time. That’s not to say that multiple plot lines, character arcs etc. can’t be done well in a movie. They can. Look what Joss has just achieved with The Avengers: multiple story strands, character arcs, set ups and payoffs all perfectly balanced and effortlessly successful. Not a minute of screen time is wasted. Unfortunately the same can’t be said for Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows. Here various story elements feel short changed, rather pointless, lacking in weight.

Oddly, storywise Dan Curtis’ 1970 film House of Dark Shadows did a better job of it. Curtis’ film cut loose all the business stuff and witch revenge seen in Burton’s take. Instead it focussed on Barnabas’ escape from his two hundred year imprisonment, ingratiating himself in to the family by posing as a distant cousin from England while slowly sucking his way through the locals and trying to woo the family’s governess who reminds him of his long lost love. In Curtis’ film Barnabas is a tragic, reluctant monster. But a monster nonetheless who wilfully kills out of need, lust and anger, stopping at nothing to get the woman he thinks he loves. Original actor Jonathan Frid imbued his Barnabas with a cold, ruthless charm and noble theatrical viciousness. Quite effectively. In the new movie, Depp’s Barnabas is a funny, weird oddball who even though he does kill never really comes across as a dangerous monster. He isn’t selfish or cruel, which, from what I saw, Frid’s version most certainly was. Curtis’ 1970 film is far from perfect. It is cheesy (especially to our modern jaded eyes) and relentlessly old fashioned. But it does have atmosphere, a couple of ok scares, some cool Dick Smith make-up, and Frid being coldly creepy in the lead. It also has a more focussed narrative than Burton’s all-over-the-place remake.

In the end, Burton’s film might not hang together too well, but at least I was never bored and laughed a fair bit while loving the gorgeous photography and art direction. The entire cast were great too, especially oddball Depp, sexy Eva and the wonderfully sneering teen angst of Chloe Moretz. I also dug the overall 70's vibe (loved the opening credits to the Moody Blues while tracking Victoria's journey to Collinsport). And any film with Alice Cooper singing No More Mr Nice Guy scores at least some points in my book. But it is Depp who holds it all together. He might not have the cold menace of Frid but his Barnabas is a nicely oddball/weird/silly reluctant fish-out-of-water who's trying to do the right thing despite having to kill the odd hippie or ten.

Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows ain't perfect and is perhaps a little too slavish to its soap opera origins to make for a strong film in its own right, but I had a pretty good time with it. On the Burton scale it's perhaps one notch down from Sleepy Hollow, which to my mind is a movie that gets the weird/silly/creepy Burtonesque balance just about right. 3.5 (out of 5)

BUFFY 4.18: ‘WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE’

Giles singing ‘Behind Blue Eyes’

WRITER: Tracey Forbes

DIRECTOR: David Solomon

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Buffy and Riley are caught up in the passion of their relationship, looking for any chance to ‘be together’. Meanwhile Xander and Anya are rowing because after not having had sex for two nights Anya thinks the spark has gone and they are going to break up. Later, at a party at Riley’s frat house, Buffy and Riley take to his room and engage in non stop lovemaking, while in the rest of the house psychic energy left behind by abused and deeply troubled teenagers begins to manifest, trapping and scaring the partygoers as it starts tearing the house apart. Xander, Anya and Willow escape, but Buffy and Riley are still inside, trapped in endless, oblivious, psychically powered lovemaking which will eventually kill them…

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

It’s all about sex, baby, yeah! Or more appropriately, it’s about natural passion, how we express it, how we can be caught up in it, become lost in it. And how serious sexual repression can end up being just as destructive as over indulgence.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Mrs. Holt, the creepy old religious nutter who abused the kids in her care.

WHY IT ROCKS

Theme. It’s an interesting theme to explore – the potentially destructive power of both sexual passion and repression, two sides of the same coin.

Spike. He’s funny. Showing up at the party with Anya…then realising it’s full of Initiative guys. Silly boy. His offered then quickly retracted offer to help Xander rescue a trapped Buffy and Riley is also most amusing.

Giles sings. Willow, Tara and Xander go to find Giles…at the Espresso Pump playing a guitar and singing ‘Behind Blue Eyes’, much to Xander’s horror. Tony Head does a great job singing a great song. Xander’s horror is totally unjustified. The open mouthed look on Willow’s face is priceless though, as is her admission that she used to have a crush on the G man.

Nice FX. The physical and visual FX used to show the destruction of the house are pretty good, especially the mystical tentacles and vines that invade it, shutting off Riley and Buffy from the rest of the house.

Anya. She’s always great. Here her lack of understanding of how human romantic relationships work, especially in the first passion fuelled few weeks and months, is funny. Her assumption that hers and Xander’s relationship is now over because they haven’t had sex for a couple of days is chucklesome and leads to much confusion and anger on her count. And Xander’s.

WHY IT SUCKS

Nothing really sucks. It’s a solid episode. It’s just nothing special.

Anya’s hand. At one point Anya has her hand run through by a nasty vine. She seems to shrug it off and it is soon forgotten. Um, if that happened to a normal human (which Anya now is) it would be a pretty major trauma, probably needing surgery, or at least a lot of stitches. Plus, y’know, painful!

When Spike realises he doesn't want to go into Lowell house to save Buffy and Riley, his reflection can be seen first in the window and then, even more clearly, in the glass door.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Giles singing and Willow’s reaction. Cute. (see vid at top)

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Anya (after Spike tries scaring her): “Oh now, come on! You're not even bumpy anymore.”
Spike (feeling his forehead): “Oh. I was just a minute ago. Hang on, get me mad again.”

Spike (entering the Lowell House party with Anya): “Hey... I know these guys from somewhere.”
Anya: “Initiative soldiers. They live here. Experiments happen in the lab under the house — that's where they kept you and put in your chip. Let's have fun!”
Spike: “What are you doing? You brought me here?”
Xander: “Anya? What are you doing? You brought him here?”
Spike: “That's what I said, only I hit the "here" part.”

Anya (upset, to Xander): “I'm just trying to tell you that we have nothing in common besides both of us liking your penis, and now I don't even have that!”

HOW MANY STAKES?

Not too wild. 2.5 (out of 5)

BUFFY: 4.13 - ‘THE I IN TEAM’

A short promo for this episode

WRITER: David Fury
DIRECTOR: James A. Contner

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Riley officially brings Buffy in to The Initiative where she gets a beeper and lots of reading material. To begin with, Buffy is excited and swept up in her new world. But a worried Willow tells her to be careful and watchful as they don’t know what the Initiative is really all about. Once inside, Buffy discovers that things in the Initiative are need to know only. Riley and his boys just go on mission as ordered and do as they are told no questions asked. But when Buffy comes in to the mix she starts asking questions of Professor Walsh. Questions that are making the Professor more and more uncomfortable – especially about the mysterious ‘314’ as mentioned by Ethan Rayne in the previous episode. Soon, Professor Walsh, thinking Buffy too much of a liability, hatches a nasty plan to send our girl out alone and have her trapped and then killed by some rogue demons. Then, come episodes end, the mystery of ‘314’ is revealed, with deadly consequences.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

The primary theme here is about questioning authority, not just taking things on blind faith. Riley and his boys are trained and conditioned to just do as they are told, no questions asked. But Buffy is the total opposite. She simply has to ask questions, she has to know what she is fighting for. She wants reasons. And they better be good ones. There’s also a weird rather twisted parental thing going on with ‘mommy’ Maggie Walsh and her ‘children’ Riley, Adam, and even Buffy. Maggie wants to create perfect (in her eyes) children who will behave just as she directs them to behave. Buffy does not fit the bill and so needs to be kicked out of the family. Permanently.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Maggie Walsh, Polgara Demons, and Adam.

WHY IT ROCKS

Nasty Maggie. In this episode we realise just how nutty Prof Walsh is. And what she’s been doing all of her demon experiments for. Her cold and calculating attempt to kill Buffy is…cold and calculating. Lindsey Crouse is nicely chilly in her final appearance on Buffy.

Spike needs help. In a lovely reverse of last episode, Spike gets shot by an Initiative tracking dart and needs Giles’ help to escape them and to get the dart out. Let’s just say Giles gets his money back. Heh.

Buffy and Riley’s bonk/battle. There’s a beautifully and rather erotically filmed sequence in this episode which crosscuts Buffy and Riley making love for the first time with them in violent battle with multiple demons.

Willow and mousy Tara becoming closer. Aww.

Willow’s spell to ionise the atmosphere in Giles’s home has an amusing hair raising effect.

It’s a trap! The sequence where an unwitting Buffy is sent by Prof. Walsh in to a deadly trap is great. Watching on monitors, Maggie thinks Buffy has been killed…just as Riley turns up. Maggie tells Riley that something terrible has happened, that Buffy rushed off alone and against orders, and is now dead. As Maggie is busy lying to Riley, Riley sees on the monitors behind the professor Buffy’s grim face appear. Shocked, Professor Walsh turns to see Buffy alive and well as our girl tells her that she’s made a big mistake. And that she’s going to find out what a slayer really is. Yes!

Adam. The secret of ‘314’ is revealed. A huge demon, human, cybernetic hybrid monster stitched together ala Dr Frankenstein’s creation. Though Adam was never my favourite Buffy big bad, he is still a striking looking creation. Kudos to the make-up guys. And to actor George Hertzberg for wearing it well.

WHY IT SUCKS

Buffy wears out her welcome with The Initiative kinda quickly.

Professor Walsh makes a rather hasty exit (due to Lindsey Crouse suddenly deciding she wanted to leave).

I love Buffy but she can be a bit of an unfeeling so and so sometimes. Whenever something new and shiny comes along she’s kinda quick to drop her friends, especially poor Willow. It happened last season with Faith. And look how well that turned out. Still, that’s part of the main theme of this season – the power of true friendship, being more confident, more powerful when with the right people.

Adam. Yes, I know he’s in the ‘Why it rocks!” section above but I’ve always had mixed feelings about him. He looks cool. The basic concept behind him is pretty good (putting science and the supernatural together in to a physical form). But he just always felt kinda flat and lacking in any real challenge for Buffy. Plus there’s no real connection between them. In season one, The Master and Buffy were locked together in prophecy. In season two, Angelus was Buffy’s ex-lover. In season three, Faith is the temptress and the dark reflection of Buffy, and The Mayor is an odd (and evil) fatherly presence. The connection here is between Riley and Adam, not Buffy and Adam. I think Buffy always works best when she has a real emotional connection to the big bads she battles.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Grim-faced Buffy on the monitors behind a shocked Professor Walsh, telling her she’s going to find out what a slayer really is. Go Buffster!

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Willow (about Buffy): “Guess she's out with Riley. You know what it's like with a spanking new boyfriend.”
Anya (re: Xander): “Yes, we've enjoyed spanking.”

Buffy (about Riley's lunch selection): “ ... A Twinkie! That's his lunch? Oh, he is so gonna be punished.”
Willow: (Miserable) “Everyone's getting spanked but me.”

Buffy: “You said it was big. You told me, but you never said it was huge!”
Riley: “Don't like to brag.”

Walsh : “You might want to be suited up for this.”
Buffy: “Oh, you mean the camo and stuff. I thought about it, but on me it's gonna look all Private Benjamin. Don't worry, I've patrolled in this halter many times.”

Buffy (grim-faced on monitors): “Professor Walsh? That simple little recon you sent me on — wasn't a racoon. Turns out it was me, trapped in the sewers with a faulty weapon and two of your pet demons. If you think that's enough to kill me, you really don't know what a Slayer is. Trust me when I say you're gonna find out.”

AND ANOTHER THING

Professor Walsh’s exit feels rushed for a good reason. Lindsey Crouse suddenly decided she wanted to leave the show, forcing the writers to bring forward her demise by several episodes. A shame.

HOW MANY STAKES?

The Team works. 3 (out of 5)

BUFFY 4.12 ‘A NEW MAN’

A short promo for this episode.

WRITER: Jane Espenson

DIRECTOR: Michael Gershman

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

While the gang are all moving on in their lives with new college careers and/or new relationships taking up their time, poor Giles is feeling ignored, left out, forgotten. Buffy hardly calls on him anymore and has completely failed to mention the fact that she’s dating Riley and that Riley is part of The Initiative, an organisation Giles knows nothing about as he never got told by Buffy that the commandos he’s been investigating are in fact a secret government demon hunting outfit based beneath Sunnydale U. Giles is understandably annoyed at this, hearing it for the first time by accident from Willow. Later, an encounter with old nemesis Ethan Rayne leads Giles and his once-upon-a-time friend to go for a few beers, allowing Giles to drown his sorrows…only to wake up the next morning having been turned in to a huge, ugly Fyarl demon by dastardly Ethan. Naturally the ex-watcher seeks out the gang to help him. But they can’t understand his demon-speak and think he’s the rampaging monster who’s kidnapped the real Giles. Amazingly only Spike can understand him. And so, for cash, the mercenary vamp agrees to help Giles track down Ethan Rayne and reverse the spell, to hopefully return Giles to his old human self.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Giles is unintentionally sidelined, forgotten, ignored. Plus he also gets castigated by Professor Walsh who suggests that Buffy has lacked a strong father figure in her life, lacking discipline. And to top it all off, nasty ol’ Ethan Rayne gets him drunk and turns him in to a demon, hoping that an unwitting Buffy will then slay her former watcher. Becoming the demon personifies what Giles is feeling: old, angry, and not recognised by the gang anymore.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Ethan Rayne, The Initiative (kinda)

WHY IT ROCKS

A strong theme. Jane Espenson’s script is right on the mark. It’s meaningful, character driven and very funny indeed.

It’s the Giles and Spike show. For a significant portion of this episode Giles (albeit in demon form) teams up with Spike to find Ethan Rayne. The two together make a great odd couple team – bickering like a couple of old women. One might be evil but the pair share a certain unspoken bond what with being English an’ all.

A car chase. Yep, we get the first Buffy car chase as the Initiative pursue Spike and Demon Giles in Giles’s knacked out old car with Spike driving. It’s kinda small scale but quite cool and mostly played for laughs with Spike having trouble finding the gears.

Scaring Professor Walsh. The simply genius moment where Giles, in his demon form, makes Spike stop the car just so he can run out and scare Professor Walsh, then casually hops back in to the car feeling a little happier with life.

Robin Sachs. Yep, he’s back as chaos worshipping sorcerer/Giles nemesis Ethan Rayne. And he’s great. The scene with the pair of old mystics and one time friends getting drunk over a few pints is most amusing. While Giles is sharing his troubles, Ethan is busy trying to drunkenly pick up the waitress. It’s funny and is also a useful plot point for later on.

Tony Head. This is Giles’s episode. And Tony Head steps up to the mark. He really sells the tired, hurt, world weary Giles. And when he becomes a giant scary demon encased head to toe in prosthetics and creepy ram horns (great make-up BTW) he is obviously having a ball. His violent clumsiness is great as is his desperate attempts to make himself understood by the gang. But it’s the scaring Professor Walsh moment that is complete and utter genius.

That crappy Citroen finally gets totalled. Get a proper car Giles.

WHY IT SUCKS

It takes a while until Giles actually turns in to a demon.

Xander and co. don’t exactly do a proper search of Giles’s home before coming to the conclusion he isn’t there and that he’s been kidnapped/eaten by a demon.

The resolution is cute but pretty unbelievable. We’re expected to believe that Buffy stops at the last moment from killing Demon Giles by recognising the look of disappointment in his eyes. Huh?

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Demon Giles taking time out of hunting for Ethan to give Maggie Walsh a well deserved scare. Priceless.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Buffy (introducing Giles to Riley): “Giles was the librarian at my high school.”
Riley: “Ah, I've seen the library. It's gone downhill since you left.”

Buffy (about her surprise party): “Of course, you could smash in all my toes with a hammer and it would still be the bestest Buffy birthday bash in a big long while.”

Walsh: “So, the Slayer.”
Buffy: “Yeah, that's me.”
Walsh: “We thought you were a myth.”
Buffy: “Well, you were myth-taken.”

Giles: “What am I? I'm an unemployed librarian with a tendency to get knocked on the head.”

Ethan: “I've really got to learn to just do the damage and get out of town. It's the stay and gloat — gets me every time.”

Giles (about Ethan): “You have to help me find him. He must undo this, and then he needs a good being killed.”
Spike: “And I'm supposed to do this just out of the evilness of my heart?”

AND ANOTHER THING

In an online chat, Jane Espenson said about Spike after he crashed the car: "That was cut... for time. In fact, he got out of the car injured and he said 'I can kill demons. I can crash cars. Things are looking up!' It’s too bad this got cut. It was a nice moment. And now you know..."

HOW MANY STAKES?

Demon Head. 4 (out of 5)

BUFFY: 4.08 ‘PANGS’

A bear! You made a bear! Heh.

WRITER: Jane Espenson
DIRECTOR: Michael Lange

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

It’s almost Thanksgiving and in his latest menial job, Xander is helping excavate the ground at Sunnydale U for a new faculty building, only to fall through the ground in to what is the lost Sunnydale Mission, buried in an earthquake years and years ago. Unfortunately Xander’s accident also unleashes the vengeful spirit of a Native American Chumash warrior who infects Xander with all the illnesses the original European settlers infected his people with. The spirit then moves on to start taking murderous revenge on local people of status for the slaughter of his people centuries ago. At the same time, Spike, hunted by Initiative commandos, is wandering the town, miserable and starving, staring longingly through windows at other vampires having happy blood feasts. Poor chap. Meanwhile, Buffy is feeling the need for some homespun Thanksgiving food and general cosiness and decides to lay on a big meal at Giles’s house for the gang. But circumstances are gonna make Buffy’s meal harder and harder to prepare for. First, Willow is anti Thanksgiving. She sees it as a celebration of the massacre of an indigenous people. She is also against ‘slaying’ the Chumash warrior because he is rightfully upset by what was done to his people. This leads to her falling out with Giles who remains insistent that they must stop the warrior at all costs. Second, Xander turns up sick as a dog, finding out he now has several diseases including syphilis. Third, Spike turns up out of the blue seeking sanctuary and with info about the Initiative. Third, Buffy feels a strange invisible presence around her. A presence we soon find out is actually Angel who’s secretly been helping her after Doyle received a vision back in LA of Buffy in mortal danger. So, can the Chumash warrior be stopped before he kills anyone else? Can Spike be trusted? Can Xander’s syphilis be cured? Can Buffy get the turkey on the table in time for a nice cosy Thanksgiving dinner?

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

It’s all about Thanksgiving and what it means. Not being an American Thanksgiving means virtually nothing to me. But I understand there seems to be a debate about it in the US of which Willow takes one side: that it is a nasty sham - a ‘yam sham’ which is really all about the massacre of indigenous peoples. I do like how Giles, and to a greater degree Spike, (both Brits like me) take a far more hard-nosed and practical view of the whole thing. Anyway, as with all things there’s always more than one side, and at least this episode of Buffy, though very charming and very, very funny, makes an effort to expose some of the darker truths.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Hus, the Chumash spirit warrior

WHY IT ROCKS

Big funny. Pangs is hilarious. The great Jane Espenson ™ wrote a wonderfully funny script that deals with the whole Thanksgiving issue nicely while playing up some great character beats and producing plenty of laugh out loud moments – many of which are to do with Spike. And speaking of…

Spike. Yep, once again James Marsters rocks! This is the start of Spike becoming an unwilling part of the Scooby Gang. Its needs must for poor Spike. He can’t get blood from people anymore so is starving while also being hunted by the Initiative commandos. So he seeks refuge with his sworn enemies hoping they won’t hurt him, as he’s all helpless and fangless. Putting Spike at the centre of the group dynamic works a treat. He sits there, tied to a chair, giving blunt acidic commentary on everything going on around him. He is the truth teller. He spells it out like it is. This role was originally taken by Cordelia and will soon be taken by Anya seeing as how Spike is limited in what he can do and where he can go by that darned daylight. But he will from now on remain an integral part of the Scooby Gang whether he or they want him to or not.

Sickly Xander. Poor chap. He gets various diseases all at once including (gulp!) syphilis. His pasty pathetic state is very, very funny.

A Buffy bear hug. Buffy wrestles a bear and it looks so silly but manages to be (intentionally) hilarious and made all the better by Spike’s reaction.

The ‘cavalry’ charging to the rescue…on bicycles.

The end Thanksgiving dinner scene and Xander’s faux pas. And Spike’s smug look.

WHY IT SUCKS

The whole Angel sneaking around thing is pointless and contrived. It is only there to get Buffy to go visit him in LA in the following episode of Angel. Still, its cool seeing Captain Forehead mixing with the gang again.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Spike’s horrified reaction to the Chumash warrior turning in to a bear.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Buffy (about construction-working Xander): “Very manly. Not at all Village People.”

Willow (angrily to Giles): "You know, I don't think you want to help! You just want to slay the demon and go 'la, la, la.'"

Spike (on his implant): "I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet, and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore."

Spike (shocked): "A bear! You made a bear!"
Buffy (timidly): "I didn't mean to!"
Spike (panicking): "Undo it! Undo it!

Xander (looking ill and worried):”Can we come rocketing back to the part about me and my new syphilis.”

Giles (dryly): “Yes, I’m always behind on terms. I'm still trying not to refer to you lot as 'bloody colonials.'”

Spike: “What part of 'help me!' do you not understand?”
Buffy: “The part where I help you.”

Anya: “So this is Angel. He's large and glowery, isn't he?”

HOW MANY STAKES?

I give thanks every time I watch this episode. 4 (out of 5)

BUFFY: 4.07 ‘THE INITIATIVE’

Xander and Harmony’s pathetic fight. Heh.

WRITER: Doug Petrie
DIRECTOR: James A Contner

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Spike, zapped unconscious at the start of the previous episode, wakes up in a white, sterile cell. He soon discovers he’s a prisoner, along with other supernatural types, in a secret government facility beneath Sunnydale and is destined for study and eventual vivisection. Naturally Big Bad wants out. And being a cunning badass he soon escapes. Meanwhile Buffy is helping Willow deal with Oz’s leaving, while Riley discovers to his surprise that he has feelings for Buffy and decides to try and “court” her. Buffy and Willow attend a party at Riley’s frat house where Riley attempts awkward conversation with Buffy before being urgently called away by his pals. Buffy is also called away urgently by Xander, who tells her that Spike is back in town and gunning for her. Back to the frat house and we soon discover that Riley is actually Agent Finn and he and his frat buddies are in fact the masked commandos seen sneaking around town this season. Riley and co. work for the secret government organisation that captured Spike. And Professor Walsh is the one in charge. We follow the boys down underground beneath their frat house where the huge hi tech headquarters of ‘The Initiative’ is revealed with its cells and its labs and its soldiers with laser guns. Professor Walsh tells Riley, who is the head soldier, that Hostile 17 (Spike) has escaped and needs to be tracked down and recaptured. Riley and his men suit up and head out on a Spike hunt. Meanwhile Spike has found out where Buffy now lives. He goes to her dorm surprising a morose Willow. Annoyed to find Buffy not there, Spike comforts himself by attacking poor defenceless Willow instead.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

This is the episode that kicks the season’s main plot and theme in to gear. The plot is The Initiative and its plans to capture, study and use demons (or ‘subterrestrials’) for possible government applications. The theme is the clash of science and magic and how the two don’t play well together. The underlying theme I guess is about nature and primal forces (represented here by magic) and its continual clash with the ever increasing power of science and human invention and development. There is also the theme of human arrogance, thinking we know everything and then bumbling our way in to places and situations we find we can’t properly handle. Perhaps a bit of a comment on western foreign policy too? Though this was made pre the Iraq and Afghanistan invasions.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Spike and The Initiative

WHY IT ROCKS

The script. Regular writer Doug Petrie delivers a mighty fine smorgasbord of a tale crammed full of drama, action, comedy, pathos, action, comedy, more action, more comedy, and plot twists. And he juggles it all perfectly. He also delivers one of THE best scenes of the entire season with the Spike and Willow dorm room scene. Pure genius. Only on Buffy.

The direction. James A Contner is, according to Doug Petrie in his episode commentary, the go to guy on Buffy for action. And he does a great job here. Spike’s escape from The Initiative is visually cool and pretty darn exciting. And the end corridor fight in the dorm is simply brilliant! But Contner also delivers big time with the comedy. This episode juggles multiple styles and tones often in the same scene. Great stuff!

Spike. James Marsters gets added to the main title credits and delivers a fangtastic performance. He’s the bad guy of the episode but he is also heroic in his cool James Bondian escape from The Initiative. He just radiates uber-cool badass before turning horrifically evil when attacking poor Willow in her room, which then, after the scary cliffhanger act break, leads directly in to one of the best and funniest scenes of the entire season.

The Spike can’t perform scene. Spike attacks Willow in a horrifically savage way, all frenzied hand held camera style. But when we come back to the scene we find a dejected Spike sat on the end of Willow’s bed, Willow unharmed and consoling him because he can’t bite her. Due to her post-Oz state she even takes it personally thinking Spike’s inability to perform is because he didn’t really want her anyway, to which Spike then consoles her by saying he’s always liked her and would bite her in a second if he could. It’s a wonderfully written scene performed with such bizarre warmth and humour by James Marsters and Alyson Hannigan. Moving from pure frenzied horror one moment to warmly hilarious the next is no mean feat. But this is partly why Buffy the Vampire Slayer works so well as a show. It isn’t just one thing. It straddles multiple genres and styles. It’s horror, comedy, romance, action, drama, teen angst, scifi etc. sometimes all in the one scene. And it works.

Nasty Parker gets knocked the f*%k out! Riley, hearing Parker Abrams make an especially crude and unkind joke at Buffy’s expense, punches the guy, knocking him out cold. The punch is as much a shock to Riley as it is to everyone else. It is then that he realises he has feelings for this rather “peculiar” girl. Nice one Agent Finn.

The Initiative HQ. We get the big reveal of the huge underground HQ in this episode. And it’s quite something. We get the gleaming white cells plus the central command and experimentation area. It’s huge and full of scientists and soldiers and high tech equipment. It looks fab. Very James Bond.

The Xander vs. Harmony fight. Xander, coming across Harmony in the woods, faces off with the upset (dumped again by Spike) vamp. The pair then engages in what is the saddest most pathetic fight ever. And it is hilarious. The director shoots it as if it is an epic fight between titans, using wide shots, close ups and even dramatic slow mo with a soaring score underneath. The truth is it is two people wrestling badly, slapping, kicking, hair pulling, and generally making a hash up of a fight. It ends with the pair agreeing to separate and go their own ways both highly embarrassed. Genius!

The end fight. The big showdown in Buffy’s dorm is great. It’s a threeway battle between Buffy, a bunch of Initiative commandos (including Riley) and Spike…all done in the dark and with gas from an exploded fire extinguisher and smoke from a flare gun. Thus Buffy can’t see Riley properly (he’s masked anyway) and Riley can’t see Buffy due to the darkness and the smoke. But the fight is big and wonderfully staged and directed and edited, taking place down a long dorm hallway. There’s even a cool Matrix homage with Buffy and the flare gun. “Dodge THIS!” Heh.

WHY IT SUCKS

Spike and his implanted chip. Nothing against the chip itself, it’s a great plot device used to neuter the poor lad and stop him from hurting people. Only problem is, in this episode he is clearly hitting people and fighting after he gets chipped while also not being able to bite Willow. It is clearly stated that the chip is working and stops him from hurting any human. Joss admitted right after the episode aired that they dropped the ball here. It simply shouldn’t have happened. Spike should NOT have been filmed fighting and hurting any humans. It was an error, something that was missed.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

The Spike and Willow ‘bedroom’ scene. Poor Spike.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Spike (about Buffy): "I always worried what would happen when that bitch got some funding."

Buffy (coming to Willow’s defence after Prof. Walsh lays in to her): "You know for someone who teaches human behaviour, you might try showing some."
Prof. Walsh: "It's not my job to coddle my students."
Buffy: "You're right. A human being in pain has nothing to do with your job." (walks away)

Forrest: “Check her out. Is she hot, or is she hot?”
Riley: “She's Buffy.”

Buffy: “Now if you'll excuse me, I need go find something slutty to wear tonight.”

Spike: “I don't understand. This sort of thing's never happened to me before.”
Willow: “Maybe you were nervous.”
Spike: “I felt all right when I started. Let's try again.”
(He tries to bite her, but he can't do it.)
Spike: “Damn it!”
Willow: “Maybe you're trying too hard. Doesn't this happen to every vampire?”
Spike: “Not to me, it doesn't!”
Willow: “It's me, isn't it?”
Spike: “What are you talking about?”
Willow: “Well, you came looking for Buffy, then settled. You didn't want to bite me, I just happened to be around.”
Spike: “Piffle.”
Willow: “I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their teeth into. It's always like, 'Oh, you're like a sister to me,' or, 'Oh, you're such a good friend.'”
Spike: “Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat.”
Willow: “Really?”
Spike: “Thought about it.”
Willow:” When?”
Spike: “Remember last year? You had on that fuzzy pink number with the lilac underneath.” (Gives her a sexy look.)
Willow: “I never would have guessed. You played the bloodlust kinda cool.”
Spike: “Mmmm. I hate being obvious. Being all fangy and 'Rrrr.' Takes the mystery out.”
Willow: “But if you could...”
Spike: “If I could, yeah.”
Willow: “You know, this doesn't make you any less terrifying.”
Spike: “Don't patronise me! (Paces around the room.) I'm only a hundred and twenty-six!”
Willow: “You're being too hard on yourself. Why don't we wait a half an hour and try again? (Makes a funny face, coming to her senses.) Or... (She grabs a lamp and whacks him over the head.)

AND ANOTHER THING

The Initiative HQ was actually filmed at Skunkworks in California where the US Airforce Stealth Bombers were built. Hence it looks huge and suitably high tech.

Doug Petrie in his commentary states that the main touchstones for this episode were James Bond movies, the classic British TV show The Prisoner (of which he and Joss are huge fans – see the big white balls hanging around The Initiative HQ as a homage) and The Matrix. Plus a bunch of classic rom com movies.

James Marsters has been added to the opening credits.

Seth Green's name has been taken out of the opening credits.

It is in this episode that we finally discover that Oz's real name is Daniel Osbourne.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Take the Initiative. 4.5 (out of 5)

BUFFY: 4.01 ‘THE FRESHMAN’

WRITER: Joss Whedon
DIRECTOR: Joss Whedon

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Buffy, Willow and Oz have just started college at UC Sunnydale. But while Willow is clearly in her element and Oz is being just as laconic and unfazed as ever, Buffy is feeling lost, overwhelmed and highly intimidated by her new life. Unable to find her way around the huge campus, she gets publicly humiliated by a highly obnoxious lecturer before realising that she also has to share a dorm room with one annoyingly perky neat freak of a girl with a decidedly unhealthy Cher and Celine Dion obsession. As if things weren’t bad enough, Buff soon discovers there’s a gang of vamps on campus, led by the supremely bitchy Sunday (played gloriously by Katharine Towne), who for the past eighteen years have been targeting especially vulnerable freshmen, bullying them, stealing their stuff and then killing them. Thinning the herd of the weak ones as they see it. Feeling lost and out of sorts, Buffy’s first run in with Sunday goes badly, ending with the Slayer battered and bruised and having to beat a hasty retreat. Gleefully sensing weakness, Sunday decides to target Buffy as her next victim for persecution.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Leaving the relatively safe and known environment of school to either go to university or in to the world of work can be a massive change and culture shock. Some handle it better than others. It can be scary and confusing, often denting confidence. This is exactly what happens to Buffy. She’s left the comforting knowns of school and home life to be thrust in to what is a disorientating and intimidating environment, one to which she feels she doesn’t belong. It doesn’t help that her old support network seems to have crumbled. Willow and Oz are busy with classes and Uni life. Her mom is busy with work having turned Buffy’s bedroom in to storage. Xander is MIA on a see America road trip. And Giles, no longer officially a watcher and unemployed since the school blew up, is busy chilling out and, er, ‘entertaining’ an old friend. All of this leaves out girl feeling lost, miserable and alone, the perfect vulnerable target for nasty Sunday. And speaking of…

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Queen bitch vampire Sunday as played to the hilt by the excellent Katharine Towne. Her small band of vamps doesn’t really figure as they are just as bullied and browbeaten as Sunday’s human victims. It’s a shame Sunday gets staked. She would have been a great long-term addition to the show.

WHY IT ROCKS

The script. Joss writes a perfect introductory script for the new season, laying out the new environments, possible relationship shifts, and introducing new characters and mysteries that will carry through the entire year. It also balances perfectly the themes of the story with meaningful character development, plenty of pathos, bone crunching action, and lots of subtle and not so subtle comedy. A lot of Joss’s dialogue is especially wonderful here, encompassing the kind of smart, witty wordplay the show is famous for, along with quirky life observations, pop culture references, and even art and literary quotes and references that would most likely fly way over the heads of most. You just don’t get this kind of thing on TV anywhere else. It really shouldn’t work. But it does.

Theme. The central theme of the story is strong and resonates perfectly. We feel Buffy’s vulnerability, her isolation, her loss of confidence. We’ve all been there.

SMG. She gives a great performance and really sells us on Buffy feeling overwhelmed and lost. She wanders around the big, crowded campus looking so small and fragile. When the obnoxious lecturer cruelly humiliates her you just wanna give her a big ol’ hug. And when she is again humiliated by nasty Sunday it’s almost too much to take. You can’t do this to Buffy! Joss just loves to make her suffer.

Sunday. But as great as SMG is, it is Katharine Towne as evil bitch vamp Sunday who steals the show. Her calm yet vicious putdowns and general sense of power and effortless superiority makes us hate her and love her in equal measure. Watching her beat, abuse and humiliate poor Buffy is pretty harsh stuff. And she does it so well. I’d have loved to see her get together with Spike.

Xander. Xander pops up late in the episode to give Buffy the much-needed pep talk she needs. He spells it out for her, reminding her exactly who she is and what she can do. The entire scene with Xander and Buffy at the Bronze is brilliant. It is very funny and also very tender and touching. Nicky Brendon is so darn good and reminds us that Xander is the beating human heart of the show. His comforting, encouraging and inspiring speech to Buffy is so well delivered that any true fan couldn’t help but feel their eyes start to sting a bit.

Yoda. Xander’s mangled Yoda quote from that summer’s The Phantom Menace is hilarious. It’s better than the movie.

Giles. Man of leisure Giles living like Hugh Hefner. Heh.

Riley. This ep sees first appearance of Marc Blucas as Riley Finn. Sod the haters, I always liked Riley. He was just a nice, decent guy.

The fights. The first fight between Buffy and Sunday is a full on, fast paced, bone crunching smackdown. It looks like it really hurts. The second one is Buffy pretty much doing the rope-a-dope.

Stake. Buffy’s uber-cool stake twirl near episode’s end, showing us she’s got her mojo back.

WHY IT SUCKS

It doesn’t suck. However the only thing that does bug me is the ‘reconnaissance’ gag. Xander asks Buffy if she’s up for a bit of reconnaissance. She looks confused and asks if he means getting arty like they did in Europe years ago? To which Xander replies, “That was the Renaissance.” I’m sorry, but Buffy is not that dumb. I know it’s an ongoing gag in the show that she occasionally gets words muddled, but Buffy knows perfectly well what reconnaissance means. This just makes her appear needlessly dumb. Naughty Joss.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Xander’s moving and heartfelt confidence boost speech to Buffy.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

It’s Joss so there’s tons. But I’ll go with…

Girl Vamp: "Does this sweater make me look fat?"
Sunday: "No. The fact that you're fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look purple."

Giles (to Buffy after she’s seen his ‘friend’ Olivia): "I'm not supposed to have a private life?"
Buffy (looking uncomfortable): "No. Because you're very, very old and it's gross."

Buffy (to Giles): "OK, remember before you became Hugh Hefner, when you used to be a Watcher?"

Buffy: “How do you get to be renowned? I mean, like, do you have to be nowned first?”
Willow: “Yes. First there's the painful nowning process.”

Willow: “It's just in high school, knowledge was pretty much frowned upon; you really had to work to learn anything. But here, the energy, the collective intelligence, it's like this force, this penetrating force, and I can just feel my mind opening up, you know? And letting this place just thrust into and, and spurt knowledge into ... that sentence ended up in a different place than it started out in.”
Buffy: “I'm with you. I'm all for spurty knowledge.”

Eddie: “Of Human Bondage. Have you ever read it?”
Buffy: “Oh, I'm not really into porn. I mean, I'm just trying to cut way back.”

Xander (to a morose Buffy): “And you're sitting here at the Bronze looking like you just got diagnosed with cancer of the puppy.”

Xander: “Buffy, I've gone through some fairly dark times in my life. Faced some scary things, among them the kitchen at the fabulous Ladies Night club. Let me tell ya' something: When it's dark, and I'm all alone, and I'm scared, or freaked out or whatever, I always think, 'What would Buffy do?' You're my hero. Ok, sometimes when it's dark and I'm all alone, I think, 'What is Buffy wearing?’...”

Buffy (to Sunday): “Let me answer that question with a head butt.”

AND ANOTHER THING

Couple of foreshadowing moments: first, Buffy’s humorous line about the price of school books and how she hopes when her mom gets the bill she has “…a funny aneurysm.” With our future knowledge this line is far from funny. Second, Xander’s call out for “Avengers assemble!” in order to bring the Scoobies back together. As we know, in summer 2012, Joss will be calling the real Avengers to assemble! Yay!

The skylight above Sunday’s lair is the same set used in season 1 finale ‘Prophecy Girl’ and in 3.19 ‘Choices’.

When Buffy answers the phone and no one speaks, it's Angel on the other end. He makes the call during the premiere of Angel, 1.1 ‘City of…’

HOW MANY STAKES?

Sunday bloody Sunday. 4 (out of 5)

BUFFY: 3.20 ‘THE PROM’

Short promo

WRITER: Marti Noxon
DIRECTOR: David Solomon

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Buffy and the gang are looking forward to their school prom. However this being Sunnydale nothing is going to go smoothly. Firstly Angel has heartbreaking news for poor Buff. He breaks up with her, as he knows they have no future together. He also tells her that after the Ascension he will be leaving Sunnydale to make things easier (plus he has his own TV series to get to in LA). As well as Buffy’s personal pain there is also the small matter of a bunch of vicious and human-brain-hungry hellhounds to deal with. They’ve been bred by a disaffected student and trained to kill anyone in formal wear. Determined that her friends will get their perfect high school prom, Buffy takes it upon herself to single-handedly hunt down and kill the beasts before they can start their high school student brain feast.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Hmm, nothing too obvious. The hellhound stuff is just a daft action-orientated hook to hang this episode’s important end of season story points on e.g. Angel’s decision to leave and Buffy being recognised and trusted by her fellow students as ‘Class Protector’.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Nasty student Tucker Wells and his vicious hellhounds. And possibly Angel for being pretty darn insensitive to poor Buff with his timing.

WHY IT ROCKS

The script. Marti Noxon wrote a deeply emotional and beautifully affecting script. Sure, the A story is silly hellhounds looking to chomp on formal attired students, but the really important stuff is what is happening with Buffy and Angel and with the rest of the gang. Angel’s realisation and decision is a long time coming, taking Joyce’s intervention as well as The Mayor’s earlier words to finally push him to act. After all he is the responsible adult. Buffy, as her mom points out, for all her smarts, strength and power, is a young girl in love, blinded by her love and by her lack of life experience. So it’s left up to Angel to make the responsible decision.

The acting. All are great here but once again SMG brings her big game. She runs the gamut in this episode from childlike glee to utter heartbreak and devastation to tough and stoic warrior. Sarah really does encapsulate the full character of Buffy Summers here. Sure, she is smart, hugely tough and quick with a witty quip or three but deep down she remains an emotionally inexperienced and fragile child. Something her mom knows very well and something others (Angel especially) easily forget.

Anya’s hilariously blunt, rude and inept way of asking Xander to be her date for the Prom.

Tucker Wells’ use of various famous high school movies to train the hellhounds to attack Sunnydale High Prom goers.

Angel’s disturbing dream of his and Buffy’s wedding day. The effects used to show Buffy burning to ash in the sun are horribly effective. But prior to her human torching Sarah does look truly beautiful in Buffy’s wedding dress. As she does later on in her prom dress.

Xander, Cordy and Cordy’s prom dress.

Giles’s exasperation with Wesley over Cordelia.

The awards ceremony at the Prom and Buffy being given her unexpected ‘Class Protector’ award by the Prom Committee – as represented by Jonathan. This could so easily have been extremely corny and daft. But luckily it is written, performed and directed with restraint and with genuine heart and doesn’t for a moment go in for needless sentimentality. It is simply a beautifully poigniant and perfectly charming scene. And it works because we all know that Buffy has truly earned this. And also it plays a major role in allowing to happen what needs to happen in the season finale. It’s emotional and character driven but also plot driven as well.

Buffy gets her one perfect high school moment right at the end, though it is tinged with sadness with the knowledge that all things – school, relationships, (favourite TV shows) etc. - come to an end.

WHY IT SUCKS

The hellhound plot serves as nothing but a functional element to add some action and monster mayhem to the story, though you could argue it hammers home the award Buffy gets and that people have noticed her and do appreciate her.

The hellhounds look rubbish. Just guys in silly rubber costumes prancing around on all fours.

For a guy who’s been around 240-plus years Angel sure can be a thoughtless inept tool at times. His timing for dumping Buffy is truly terrible. Couldn’t he have at least waited until after the Ascension as odds on they’d all die anyway so problem solved? Yeah, I know this wouldn’t have worked well dramatically or plot-wise seeing as how it has to be set up that Angel is leaving for his own series. But still, you can’t help but curse the guy for doing what he does when he does.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Buffy becomes ‘Class Protector’ in one of the series’ most perfect scenes.


DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Anya (asking Xander to the Prom): “Men are evil. Will you go with me?”
Xander: “One of us is very confused, and I honestly don't know which.”
Anya: "Look, I know you find me attractive; I've seen you looking at my breasts."
Xander: "Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open."

Giles (to Buffy regarding her break-up with Angel): "I understand this sort of thing requires ice cream of some kind."

Giles (to Wesley, regarding Cordelia): "For God's sake, man, she's eighteen. And you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just have at it, would you? And stop fluttering about."

Buffy (to the gang, determined): “I'm gonna give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every person on the face of the Earth to do it.”
Xander (looking worried): “Yay?”

Jonathan: “We have one more award to give out. Is Buffy Summers here tonight? Did she....um...This is actually a new category. First time ever. I guess there were a lot of write in ballots and the prom committee asked me to read this. "We're not good friends. Most of us never found the time to get to know you. But that doesn't mean we haven't noticed you. We don't talk about it much, but it's no secret that Sunnydale High isn't really like other high schools. A lot of weird stuff happens here."”
Student: “Zombies!”
Student: “Hyena people!”
Student: “Snyder”
Jonathan (continuing): "But whenever there was a problem or something creepy happened, you seemed to show up and stop it. Most of the people here have been saved by you. Or helped by you at one time or another. We're proud to say that the class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate of any graduating class in Sunnydale history. And we know that at least part of that is because of you. So the senior class offers its thanks and gives you, uh... this." It's from all of us. And it has written here, Buffy Summers — Class Protector.”

AND ANOTHER THING

The movies that Tucker used to train the hellhounds were: Prom Night, Pump Up the Volume (which Seth Green and Juliet Landau were in), Prom Night IV, Pretty in Pink, The Club, and Carrie.

Buffy's wedding dress in Angel’s dream was designed by famous fashion designer Vera Wang.

Sarah didn't actually get to go to her own prom. She was at the Emmy Awards instead.

The lovely song that Buffy and Angel dance to at the end is called Wild Horses and is performed by The Sundays (available on the first Buffy the Vampire Slayer soundtrack). It is actually a cover of a song by The Rolling Stones.

HOW MANY STAKES?

It’s all very PROMising for the big finale. 3.5 (out of 5)