BUFFY 5.13: BLOODTIES

Promo for this episode

WRITER: Steven S. DeKnight

DIRECTOR: Michael Gershman

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Uh oh, it’s another Buffy birthday, which means things aren’t gonna go well. Today’s the day our girl turns 20. And as Buff reluctantly holds a party at her house, poor Dawnie’s world goes and crumbles around her when, after sneaking a look at Giles’s diaries, she finds out that she is in fact the Key. Traumatised, she runs away, and ends up running into Ben at the hospital, letting slip to him what she really is. Hearing this news, Ben freaks out and morphs into Glory, who thankfully doesn’t know what her alter ego Ben knows about Dawn. Glory threatens a terrified Dawn, seeking information, and is about to brain suck the niblet when Buffy and co. arrive to save lil sis.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

The whole Dawn story line plays now as a metaphor for adoption, for a child discovering that he/she is not actually blood related to their family and the feelings that might then engender: difference, isolation, anger, a feeling of having lived a lie.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Glory

WHY IT ROCKS

Poor Dawnie. The theme as descried above is played out well and proves quite affecting. Who could possibly imagine how poor Dawn is feeling? Her entire life is a lie and she is in fact only six months old. The metaphor for adoption is a smart one which I’m sure lots of people in similar circumstances could relate to. Michelle Trachtenberg does an excellent job here. This is her episode. She is front and centre and really sells the hurt, confusion, disorientation and downright anger at Dawn’s situation.

Spike and Dawn do some B & E. Love the almost childish chemistry between these two. Dawn, sneaking out of the house to go to the Magic Box, runs in to Spike. She tells him she’s gonna break in and steal stuff. He likes that idea. Dawn asks if he’d like to come along. He readily agrees. Together the pair breaks in to the shop but not before Dawn teases Spike about not being scary or bad any more, saying that she’s badder than him, to which he replies indignantly, “Are not.” Heh.

Willow and Tara’s spell. The witches’ last minute solution to getting rid of Glory is inspired and leads to a most amusing reaction from our hell god as she is teleported high up in to the atmosphere over Sunnydale…then plummets to the earth in a fiery streak.

WHY IT SUCKS

The whole Knights of Byzantium thing still kinda bugs. These blatantly medieval types don’t fit in well to any kind of modern world. Even their pseudo ye olde English way of speaking is just silly.

ITS BUFFTASTIC

Glory getting teleported “Oh shi…!”

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Xander: We're goin' up against a god. An actual mightier-than-thou god.
Willow: Well, you know what they say. The bigger they are—
Anya: The faster they stomp you into nothing.

Buffy: How was school today?
Dawn: Um, the usual. Big square building filled with boredom and despair.
Buffy: Just how I remember it.

Anya (holding the frilly dress Buffy received): Oh, it's just so lovely! Ooh, I wish it was mine! (The group gives her a funny look.) Oh, like you weren't all thinking the same thing!
Giles: I'm fairly certain I wasn't. (whispers to Xander) I've got one just like it.

Dawn: You wanna come steal some stuff?
Spike: Yeah, all right.

Buffy: Maybe it's time to start a new tradition. Birthdays without boyfriends. It could be just as much fun!
Willow: Preaching to the choir here, baby.

Glory (to Dawn): I've been meaning to send the Slayer a message. And I could use a little pick-me-up. Two birds, one stone, and boom! You have yummy dead birds.

Glory (materialising high up over Sunnydale) Oh shi…!

AND ANOTHER THING

This is the first episode of Buffy written by Steven S. DeKnight who would go on to write/produce for Angel and Dollhouse and create/write/produce Spartacus: Blood and Sand.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Gotta feel for poor Dawn. 3.5 (out of 5)

BUFFY 5.5: NO PLACE LIKE HOME

“Out. For. A. Walk…Bitch!”

WRITER: Doug Petrie

DIRECTOR: David Solomon

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Buffy has become convinced that her mom’s as yet undiagnosed illness is the result of a supernatural attack. After a suggestion by Willow, she casts a spell at home to see if there are any traces of dark magic around her mom and the rest of the house, which would indicate some sort of supernatural attack. And whilst in her supernatural induced state, Buffy sees things which make her believe that Dawn is not in fact her sister but is really something evil looking to do her and her mom harm. After leaving the house to go investigate further, Buffy soon has a confrontation at an old factory with a very pretty, very powerful, and also seemingly unhinged young woman in a striking red dress who appears to be torturing a captured monk. After the crazy young woman in red gives a shocked Buffy a good ass kicking, Buff just about manages to escape with the monk as the factory collapses down on top of the crazy lady with the red dress on. Outside now, the monk, about to breathe his last, just about manages to tell Buffy the shocking truth about Dawn before he croaks.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

My annoying kid sister really is evil! And so the sibling rivalry Buff feels against her lil sis boils over in this episode as she thinks she has uncovered Dawn’s secret – that she is in fact some evil interloper in to their family looking to do harm. Buffy is far too eager to accept this. You can tell she kinda hopes it’s true. Could she slay her own ‘sister’? She even goes as far as to rough the poor kid up some, hurting her arm. Oddly Dawn becomes rather cold and coolly detached after this assault. I know it adds to the mystery (ooh, is she really evil?) but somehow I think she’d be well and truly freaked out based upon what we’ve seen of her so far. However the turn of events at episode’s end will put Buffy in to a new dynamic with Dawnie which will ultimately see big sis do absolutely anything to protect troublesome lil sis.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Glory aka The Beast: A devil with a red dress on.

WHY IT ROCKS

Glory. Clare Kramer plays Glory, a petite young blond girl in heels and striking red dress who’s clearly unhinged and immensely powerful with it. Oh, and enjoys sucking out people’s minds too. She’s cute. She’s wicked. She looks great in that dress. And she well and truly kicks Buffy’s ass. What is she? A demon? Something else? Time will tell. Love Glory. She’s one of my all time fave Buffy Big Bads. Just so much fun to watch not to mention very easy on the eye.

The spell Buffy casts to look for traces of dark magic around her house is very cool and shot in a weird and dreamy way. Love the fade in/outs of Dawn’s room with/without all her stuff in it. Reminds me of the Pang Brothers The Eye.

Giles in his darkish wizard outfit. And the long silent reaction from Buffy…leading to him taking it off. Funny.

Anya the sales assistant. Her wonderfully offhand rudeness to the customers is so funny. “Please go” she says after taking their money, leading to Xander having to explain to her some of the finer points of polite insincerity.

Love struck Spike. Okay, so this is the start of the truly Buffy-whipped Spike, but his adolescent behaviour is very funny and leads to one of the greatest Spike moments ever in this ep. “Out. For. A. Walk.” Pause. “Bitch.”

The Buffy/Glory fight. Buff seems to have truly met her physical match in another young blond girl not that unlike herself. In fact, Glory seems far more physically powerful, tossing poor Buff around like a rag doll. The fight is fairly brief but is quite brutal and high impact. Not exactly a graceful martial arts style fight of old, more just punch and bludgeon and throw.

The Dawn reveal. Ah, so this is how Buffy managed to have a sister we’d never heard of before. It all makes sense now. Joss, you ol’ devil, you.

WHY IT SUCKS

The opening fight with the vamp at the factory is pretty lame. The direction is flat, the blocking is uninspired and kinda slow. And Buffy spends far too much time quipping when she should of just staked the guy already.

Okay, I admit it. Dawn is intensely annoying in this episode. Still, didn’t like seeing her pushed around by Buff. Plus she does behave pretty immaturely for a 14-year-old.

ITS BUFFTASTIC

Spike’s “Out. For. A. Walk…Bitch!”

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Buffy (pulling a loitering Spike out from behind a tree): What are you doing here, Spike? Five words or less.
Spike (counting the words off on his fingers): Out. For. A. Walk. (pauses, then uses his thumb) Bitch!

Anya (to a customer who just finished her purchase): Please go.
Xander: Anya, the Shopkeepers of America called. They wanted me to tell you that "Please go" just got replaced with "Have a nice day."
Anya: But I have their money. Who cares what kind of day they have?
Xander: No one. It's just a long cultural tradition of raging insincerity. Embrace.

Dawn: What are you doing?
Buffy: My boyfriend. Go away.

Dawn (entering Giles’s new magic shop): Check out all the magic junk.
Giles: Our new slogan.

Willow: I can't help it. I just have all this involuntary empathy for Dawn. Cuz she's, you know... a big spaz.

Willow (displaying an item she's just wrapped): Does this look right to you?
Anya: Sure. If you wrapped it with your feet.

AND ANOTHER THING

Clare Kramer who plays Glory appeared in Bring It On with Eliza Dushku who plays Faith in Buffy and Angel.

HOW MANY STAKES?

A Glory-ous 3.5 (out of 5)