BUFFY: 6.19 ‘SEEING RED’

James Marsters on THAT scene

WRITER: Steven S. DeKnight
DIRECTOR: Michael Gershman

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

The Trio steal a pair of magic orbs which will grant their wearer super strength and invulnerability. Warren takes them for a spin in a bar macking on ladies and beating up guys...only to run in to Xander. Xan makes it out in one piece...just...and goes to tell Buffy only to find our girl, suffering from a slaying related injury, lying on the bathroom floor after having had a shocking and deeply disturbing encounter with Spike. Nevertheless Buffy sets out to confront Warren and co. and stops them from robbing an armoured truck. A fight ensues and Buffy manages to win after destroying Warren's magic orbs. But he gets away leaving Andrew and Jonathan behind. The next morning a blissfully happy Willow and Tara watch from their bedroom window as Xander appears in the back yard and reconciles with Buffy. But tragedy soon strikes when a crazed Warren suddenly appears brandishing a gun. Shots are fired, some going wild but with two of the bullets finding there targets: one in the back yard and the other in the bedroom above. And as a result things will never be the same again.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Male ego and misogyny – power, control, domination with rampant testosterone running wild. But also genuine love and friendship with good people who love and care for each other sticking together no matter what.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Warren & Spike

WHY IT ROCKS

Script: Simply Steve DeKnight wrote a great script. It treads a fine line, a balancing act between daft and goofy and dark and disturbing. But it does so brilliantly. The character work has depth and pushes our heroes to even greater places of darkness and turmoil than before while also managing to bring them back together, to reignite the spark of genuine love and friendship between them. Well, all except for one.

Performances: across the board they are great. But special mention goes to SMG and James Marsters who have to play what is the darkest and most ghastly scene this series ever did. And they are both fabulous. Oh and Alyson Hannigan and Amber Benson are beyond cute together...right up until the end when they will break your heart.

Jet packs: Heh. The sequence where Andrew tries to escape using his hidden jet pack...only to hit the roof and collapse to the ground is hilarious. A terrific sight gag.

Saws: when Buffy searches the Trio's abandoned lair she is attacked by multiple huge circular saws requiring her to engage in some Spider-Man-like acrobatics to avoid being sliced and diced. Its a great sequence and looks very cool.

Clem: Yay! Spike's nice guy demon pal Clem shows up to be a sounding board for a confused and distraught Spike. Gotta love Clem.

Two moments: “Ask me again why I could never love you!” and “Your shirt...” If you aren't hurting inside then your heart is cold.

Warren: Oh he makes such a wonderfully evil villain. So easy to hate. And what he does in this ep arguably makes him the worst and most hated villain in all Buffydom. Kudos to Adam Busch who does a terrific job in the role.

Balls: The blatant testosterone metaphor of Warren and his pair of super powered orbs...and Buffy smashing them to defeat him. YES!!

WHY IT SUCKS

It doesn't suck. At all. But it is one heck of a cruel episode both for the characters and for the audience. Three awful things happen in the space of forty two minutes. It is almost too much to take. Almost.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Buffy's victory over Warren, throwing his misogynistic insult right back at him before kicking his ass to the kerb. “Good night, bitch.” Yeah!!

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Andrew: “I don't trust that leprechaun.”

Buffy: “Ask me again why I could never love you!”

Willow: “We were able to decipher pretty much everything except these.”
Tara: “It isn't written in any ancient language we could identify.”
Xander: “It's Klingon. They're love poems. Which has nothing to do with the insidious scheme you're about to describe.”

Spike: You know, everything always used to be so clear. Slayer, vampire. Vampire kills Slayer, sucks her dry, picks his teeth with her bones. It's always been that way. I've tasted the life of two Slayers. But with Buffy... It isn't supposed to be this way! It's the chip! Steel and wires and silicon. It won't let me be a monster... and I can't be a man. I'm nothing.”

Warren: “I was wondering when Super Bitch would show up.”
Buffy: “You've really got a problem with strong women, don't you?”

Andrew: “I really want to get my hands on his orbs.”

Warren: “Say good night, bitch.”
Buffy (crushes his magic orbs and knocks him down): “Good night, bitch.”

Tara: “Your shirt...”

AND ANOTHER THING

The scenes at the amusement park were specially filmed at Six Flags Magic Mountain, 35 miles north of Los Angeles.

The following tracks were featured in Seeing Red: The Leaves by Daryll-Ann, Stranded by Alien Ant Farm and Displaced by Azure Ray.

James Marsters says to this day that the Spike assault/attempted rape of Buffy scene is the worst thing he has ever had to do in his career. He found it deeply traumatising and it left him an emotional wreck.

For the one and only time since she joined the show Amber Benson gets her name in the opening credits sequence. Kind of a sick joke considering her fate.

When Buffy explores The Trio's lair, she discovers several action figures – grimacing in particular at the one of Vampirella, a comic book superhero from the planet Drakulonn who devoted her life to destroying all vampires - and wearing very skimpy red outfits.

HOW MANY STAKES?

A painful 4.5 (out of 5)

BUFFY: 6.15 ‘AS YOU WERE’

Episode dailies

WRITER: Doug Petrie
DIRECTOR: Doug Petrie

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Out of the blue Buffy's former lover Agent Riley Finn drops back in to Buffy's life asking for her help to track down an especially nasty demon he's followed through central America and back to Sunnydale. Riley is also after a rumoured local black market dealer known only as 'The Doctor' who is planning to sell the demon's highly prized eggs to a foreign power. But Agent Finn hasn't come back alone. He has brought his new wife with him.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Re-evaluating what a healthy relationship actually is. Moving on. Self forgiveness.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

A Suvolte demon. The Doctor.

WHY IT ROCKS

Riley's back! I always liked Riley and Marc Blucas' portrayal. I thought Riley had a rough ride from the fans just cuz he wasn't Angel. I mean, God forbid Buffy should ever have a healthy relationship with an honest to goodness human being who is just a nice, reliable, dependable guy. Sheesh! This time Riley is in full-on 007 stealth mode but is essentially the same nice, thoughtful, gentleman he always was...except now with a brand new wife, Sam, another special opps soldier who is just as nice, respectful and capable as he is. Nice one Agent Finn.

Action/stunts: There are quite a few good fight sequences here and I especially liked the dam rappelling stunt. Kinda reminded me of the opening of Goldeneye, though not a bungee but rather Riley and Buffy doing a line drop down the face of a rather high dam. Cool.

Willow: Willow is almost back to her old self in this episode. She is chirpy and gets positively giddy in places chatting to Sam. Loved how she wanted to hate her being Riley's new love but just couldn't.

Buffy sees the light: finally, seeing what a good and healthy relationship looks like (Riley and Sam) Buffy forgives herself and decides to move on by ending it properly with Spike, leaving his dark crypt at episodes end and literally walking out in to the light. It's a beautifully written and played scene between Buffy and Spike with Buffy calling Spike by his real name, William, with the look on his face showing that he knows she means it this time.

WHY IT SUCKS

Dawn: Again, Dawn manages to make everything about her...even Riley's leaving Sunnydale in season 5. Arghh!

Questionable parenting: Buffy lets Dawn go out with Willow to the Bronze until 11pm on a school night? Really? Good parenting Buff. Plus earlier Dawn reminds Buffy it is trash day. Cue we see Buff chasing after and missing the trash collection. In a previous episode we've seen Dawn swanning off to school leaving a sink full of dishes for Buffy to clean after working a double shift. Um, does Dawn actually do anything at home? Does she have any chores at all? Sheesh! And for that matter what about Willow? She still lives there too. If I was Buff I'd kick em all out.

Wedding plans: is it just me or is the whole Anya/Xander wedding planning thing getting to be really tiresome? I have a low threshold for wedding fluff anyway (giant waste of money I say) so it just makes me roll my eyes and groan.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Buffy's dazed reaction to seeing Riley back. “My hat has a cow!”

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Riley: “I want to explain, I just don't have time. I've been up for 48 hours straight tracking something bad, and now it's come to Sunnydale.”
Buffy (dazed): “My hat has a cow.”

Sam: “We better regroup. Buffy, I hate to impose further, but... you got a safe house?”
Buffy: “I, I have a house. I-I think it's safe. Sometimes you can't even leave.”

Willow: “Just so you know? I'm prepared to hate this woman any way you want.”
Buffy: “Thanks, but no. I don't wanna seem all petty.”
Willow: “Well, that's the beauty! You can't, but I can. Please. Let me carry the hate for the both of us.”
Buffy: “Go nuts.”

Sam: “I gotta tell you, Buffy, I'm a little bit intimidated. I mean, patrolling with the real live Slayer, you're like... Santa Claus, or Buddha, or something.”
Buffy: “Fat and jolly?”
Sam: “Legendary. And it's not just slayer status I'm talking about. It's you.”

Riley: “Wheel never stops turning, Buffy. You're up, you're down... it doesn't change what you are. And you are a hell of a woman.”

Buffy: “I'm using you. I can't love you. I'm just... being weak, and selfish...”
Spike: “Really not complaining here.”
Buffy: “...and it's killing me. I have to be strong about this. I'm sorry... William.”

AND ANOTHER THING

Spike's record collection can be seen in the moment before Buffy shoots it - "The Keller Family Sings" plus the soundtrack album to "The Wiz" are visible.

On Buffy's rejection letter for readmission to UC Sunnydale, her address is printed as 1630 Crestview instead of 1630 Revello. Oops!

Ivana Milicevic who plays Riley's wife Sam played the small villainous role of Valenka in Bond film Casino Royale (2006)

HOW MANY STAKES?

It's a Finn old time for sure. 3 (out of 5)

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 6.11 GONE

SMG on Craig Ferguson (cuz she is cute and funny)

WRITER: David Fury

DIRECTOR: David Fury

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

To help Willow in her recovery Buffy and Dawn clear the house of any and all magic items and supplies. But while they are doing so, Buffy receives an unwelcome visit from Spike, followed by an even more unwelcome visit from a social worker who has come to check up on Dawn's home life. Unfortunately the meeting with the social worker doesn't go well. That, alone with Spike's insistent lustful presence drives the now furious-with-herself Slayer to run upstairs and hack off her long blond hair. Meanwhile, across town, the Geek Trio have built themselves an invisibility ray and while out testing it accidentally go and hit Buffy with the ray as she is leaving the hairdressers, turning her invisible. Slayer related hijinks ensue.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

The freedom of being invisible, of being freed to do what you want and behave how you want without anybody knowing. Also, as far as Buff is concerned, she is free from the judging eyes of her friends and from Spike's lustful eyes and Dawn's angry eyes. But most importantly she is free from having to look in to her own eyes, free from seeing herself and who she thinks she has become.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

The Geek Trio I guess, though mostly Warren who it is becoming clear is the one who truly has no problem hurting others, especially women.

WHY IT ROCKS

A nice idea. Becoming invisible is a standard for almost every scifi/horror/fantasy series. But as always with Buffy it is used primarily as a means to explore character. In this case it is about how Buffy sees herself and how she thinks others see her...or don't see her. The show already did one episode concerning invisibility, season one's Out of Sight, Out of Mind, in which teenage Marcie became invisible for real after being ignored and sidelined by her peers for so long. That story was about alienation and teen rage. This one is about adult life pressures and guilt.

Funny. Okay, forget the metaphor and larger season arc, Gone is simply a very funny episode with more than one laugh out loud moment. Writer/director David Fury is not afraid to go very silly (and pretty raunchy) to make us smile. And it works.

Buffy larks around. Many good ones from Buff as she enjoys her new found invisible freedom. Love the 'eye' balls at the Magic Box, stealing the meter man's car (“So long coppa!”) and The Shining inspired repetitive typing at the social worker's office designed to freak the poor woman out (All work and no play makes Doris a dull girl.) Heh.

Spike doing his 'push ups'. Oh Xander, surely you can't be that dense? Walking in on Spike in bed humping away on an invisible Buffy and falling for Spike's 'I'm exercising' line. Plus you can clearly see Spike's ear moving as it is being nibbled on while he talks to Xander. Mind you, if I was Xan I wouldn't think Buff would be doing that kind of thing with Spike either. But whatever the case, the scene is very, very funny. And love how it ends with invisible Buff winning over a petulant Spike by giving him a special happy as, taken by surprise, he looks down at his (out of shot) groin and states, 'Hey, that's cheating.' Tsk tsk. Naughty Buff.

Direction. David Fury does a great job directing his script. His direction is wonderfully inventive, especially how he treats invisible Buffy and the invisible Trio as if you could still see them, following them 'in shot', zooming in for reaction shots we can't see, and shooting an invisible fight scene as if it were all entirely visible. Great stuff and most amusing.

WHY IT SUCKS

Very silly. Okay, maybe it does get a bit too silly for its own good. And the Trio, while fun, are still just three clever twits messing about and doing nothing very compelling.

Buffy's hair. Blimey! Never before (or since) has so much attention been paid to Buffy's hair as in this episode. Everyone and their sister comments and has an opinion on it. At least Xander has the good sense to be exasperated by this, just like the audience. It is obvious that in the first act SMG is wearing a pretty heinous wig which she then hacks away at before heading to the hairdressers for her new short do. I'm guessing SMG got her hair cut meaning they had to shoe horn this in for continuity sake.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Spike's exercise routine

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Buffy: So you three have, what... banded together to be pains in my ass?
Warren Meers: We're your "arch-nemesises-ses".

Buffy (to social worker): You know, I know what that looks like, but I-I swear it's not what it looks like. It's magic weed. It's not mine.

Jonathan Levinson: [Warren almost hits Jonathon with an invisibility ray] You penis!

Andrew Wells (about the invisible ray gun): I pictured something cooler. More ILM, less Ed Wood.

Xander: [as Xander walks in on Spike on top of invisible Buffy] Spike? What are you doing?
Spike: What am I-... What does it look like I'm doing, you nit? I'm exercising, aren't I?
[starts doing "push-ups"]
Xander: Exercising? Naked? In bed?
Spike: A man shouldn't use immortality as an excuse to let himself go. You gotta keep fit for killing.
Xander: Ya-huh.

AND ANOTHER THING

Doris the social worker is played by Susan Ruttan who you may remember played Arnie Becker's secretary Roxanne in LA Law

Doris's co-worker in the Social Services Office is played by writer/director David Fury's wife Elin Hampton. Together the couple co-wrote Season 2's "Go Fish".

Gone is the first episode without Amber Benson (Tara) since season five's 'Into The Woods' and marks only the sixth episode without her since she was introduced in season four's 'Hush'.

Buffy cheerily whistles a bit of Going Through the Motions from Once More, With Feeling after making social worker Doris Kroger look crazy.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Gone but not forgotten. 3.5 (out of 5)

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 6.9 SMASHED

Dailies

WRITER: Drew Z. Greenberg

DIRECTOR: Turi Meyer

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

After her break up with Tara, a morose Willow successfully de-rats Amy and the two powerful witches begin hanging out together and having fun with their magic, which pulls Willow ever deeper into her growing addiction and eventually puts Dawn in danger too. Meanwhile, Spike discover that the chip in his head, which is supposed to prevent him from hurting humans, doesn't kick in after he gets in to some angry fisticuffs with Buffy. After a quick trip to the nerd trio for a consult, the platinum vamp comes to the conclusion that his chip is working fine and that it is actually post-resurrection Buffy who is now somehow 'wrong'.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Making bad choices. Giving in to temptation. Going to dark destructive places.

In Smashed, Willow succumbs fully to her magic addiction and with the now de-ratted Amy she finds the perfect enabler as well as partner in crime. Amy is the anti-Tara. She has no sense of responsibility, no self control. Magic to her is all about her own pleasure and fun. She doesn't see the self destructive side of it, or if she does she chooses to ignore it. And Willow follows her down that path with only the smallest of nudges needed. Meanwhile Buffy is also being tempted and pulled down a dark self destructive path of her own by non other than Spike. She knows he is not good for her and that being 'with' him will only lead to bad things. And yet...

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Hmm, there is no real villain here. No big monster. The enemy is within both Buffy and Willow: their own weakness in the face of temptation. Spike gets an honourable mention though for threatening the Fett.

WHY IT ROCKS

Character, character, character! This is an internal episode. This time the monsters are within. Smashed is all about what Willow and Buffy are feeling, how they are dealing (or not dealing) with the current state of their lives. We watch them think, feel, make choices, and ultimately take dangerous paths.

Amy the ex-Rat. Yup, Amy the witch who turned herself in to a rat to escape a roasting in the season 3 episode Gingerbread is finally de-ratted by Willow. Elizabeth Anne Allen returns as Amy and she is great.

Freeze Ray. The Trio's diamond powered freeze ray is a mucho fun precursor to Doctor Horrible's same invention.

Tara. Amber Benson is always wonderful as Tara and never more so than here as she spends time with Dawn and promises her that although she and Willow are not together anymore she will still always be there for the teenager.

Buffy at the museum jumping up and down to try and see over the gathered crowd's heads as the frozen guard is wheeled away. Buff looks so tiny and cute here as she tries to see what's going on. She may be super powered but she's still ickle.

Magic pool. Amy and Willow play a game of pool at the Bronze sans cues. Very cool.

Spike and Buffy bring the house down. Yep, THAT scene is in this ep. Finally, vampire and slayer get it on. And the results are destructive and unforgettable.

WHY IT SUCKS

Willow and Amy's hijinks at the Bronze are kinda lame.

Somehow I don't think the British Museum would lend Sunnydale Museum a huge priceless diamond, especially seeing how there is no security except for one aged security guard called Rusty.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

And the house comes down as Buff and Spike get freaky

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Willow: I know. Xander engaged. I couldn't believe it either.
Amy: It's so weird. So, what's she like?
Willow: Thousand year old, capitalist ex-demon with rabbit phobia.
Amy: Well, that's so his type.

Buffy: Hey, how've you been?
Amy: Rat. You?
Buffy: Dead.
Amy: Oh.

Spike: I'm in love with you.
Buffy: You're in love with pain!

Warren: Right. But you don't want to hurt the Fett... because, man, you're not comin' back from that! You know, you don't just do that and walk away.

AND ANOTHER THING

The Spike and Buffy getting it on scene was originally a lot longer and more graphic but the network, UPN, told Joss and co. it needed to be cut back. Also CGI smoke was added to help obscure certain shots.

Due to the rather intense nature of the Buffy/Spike sex scene this episode became the focus of a FCC investigation for indecency after a complaint from a watchdog group. Fortunately, the FCC deemed the episode as not being indecent at all.

When Willow and Amy visit the Bronze, the band Virgil are performing the track Vermillion Borders. Later, when Willow grows bored of the music, she transforms them into another group, Halo Friendlies.

HOW MANY STAKES?

A smashing 3.5 out of 5

BUFFY 5.7: FOOL FOR LOVE

Nice little tribute vid for this ep.

WRITER: Doug Petrie

DIRECTOR: Nick Marck

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

While fighting an 80’s hair metal vamp, Buffy gets stabbed by her own stake and is forced to flee injured. Naturally shaken by her near brush with death our gal seeks out answers as to why previous Slayers got beaten, but no records exist of those Slayers’ final battles. Giles suggests it is likely because their Watchers found the whole thing far too painful to document. So, reluctantly, Buff turns to the one source she knows of with direct experience of a Slayers final battle: Spike, the slayer of Slayers. Meanwhile Joyce is slowly getting worse and is heading in to hospital for tests and observation, which poor Buff is finding hard to cope with.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Fool for Love is about asking uncomfortable questions of yourself and getting the honest answers that you really don’t want to hear. Also it’s about who a person really is beneath the surface, beneath the persona we build for ourselves and show the world; the image we try to project. Who are we really deep down? What is it we really, truly want from life?

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Hmm, I guess its 80’s hair metal vampire. And maybe Spike.

WHY IT ROCKS

The script. Fool for Love is simply a brilliant episode. It is the first easy five star episode of the season. Why? Partly because Doug Petrie’s script is full of such depth and wonderful character work. We find out who Spike was and how he came to be who he is now. We watch the construction of his badass character. We see the twisted dynamic between him and Angel, Dru and Darla. We see him kill two Slayers. And this is all shown while he’s trying to explain (for cash…and Spicy Buffalo Wings) to Buffy how he killed two Slayers. There is so much going on here. The ep is primarily about Spike and how he came to be, but it is also about who Buffy really is and what it truly means to be a Slayer: isolation, pain and certain death.

Flashbacks of a Fool (for Love). Through beautifully realised flashbacks to London in the 1880’s, China in the 1900’s, New York in the 1970’s we see the Spike persona being gradually put together piece by piece starting with the name, the accent, the scar on the eyebrow, the hair, and finally the black leather coat. All of this based around a rebellious attitude and an obsession with killing Slayers. This is Buffy mythology working at its best.

The direction. Nick Marck did a beautiful job with this episode. The direction is smooth, yet tight and tense with some brilliant cuts and scene changes as we seamlessly move between ‘now’ and old London and China and 70’s New York. Stylistically the big fight on the subway train between Spike and 70’s Slayer Nikki is the highlight. It’s all neon and gritty and brutal and has Spike narrating to Buffy from inside the fight itself while cross cutting beautifully to the pair sparring in the alley outside of the Bronze. Stunning.

The art direction. The episode looks great with the flashbacks being as lovingly put together as always. And even though the London Street set is obviously the usual old town set redressed, it still looks good, as does a standing Mexican village set redressed to be China, while the internal Chinese temple set where Spike kills his first Slayer is a beauty. But you can’t beat the cool 70’s subway train where Spike kills Slayer no. 2.

Two Parter. Fool for Love is actually the first part of a two-part tale concluding in Angel with the wonderful episode Darla. The flashbacks to Spike being turned by Dru and the chaos in China were filmed in conjunction with Angel with the ‘Darla’ scenes being the flip side scenes to what we see in Fool for Love i.e. shown from a different perspective – that of Angel or Darla, not Spike.

Eroticism. There’s a lot of suggestive and not so suggestive sex stuff in this ep. Doug Petrie admitted in his commentary that this was the filthiest ep of Buffy he’d worked on up ‘til then. He takes much pleasure in Darla and Dru getting turned on as Angel and Spike fight and Angel goes to stake Spike. Or as Petrie puts it, “The guys trying to thrust their poles in to each other.” And Dru slowly, sensually sucking Slayer blood off of Spike’s finger has to be one of the weirdest/grossest/hottest images ever in Buffydom.

SMG. Sarah is great in this episode. Though it's primarily a Spike episode it is also about Buffy trying to understand herself better while also dealing with her fears for her mom. The chemistry between Sarah and James Marsters is riveting. It’s a kind of fascinated repulsion she conveys. The end scene where Buffy goes outside on the porch and breaks down under the strain of worry for her mom is very touching as is Spike’s reaction to her when he turns up with darker intentions.

James Marsters. I know I always bang on about how bloody great James Marsters is as Spike. So guess what? I’m going to again. Cuz he is. With this episode we get a whole other layer to the character. We get more dimension, more history, more complexity, more subtlety, more wonderful contradiction. Seeing James as a sensitive foppish young poet is as far from the smart-ass, brutal vampire Spike as you can imagine…and yet James sells it so you can see perfectly the same man in both. Spike is a persona William has built over years to protect himself from hurt and against his still rampant insecurities. He may be evil. He may be soulless, yet somehow the emotional damage done to him as a man still remains, as does that deeply sensitive side to his nature, which James Marsters shows us so brilliantly. James’ performance has to cover so much ground here while always remaining emotionally truthful, which it does. All the way through we feel for Spike despite the awful things he does. And Buffy’s putdown to him at the end of their lesson which echoes the putdown from his first love who rejected him is deeply wounding for Spike and affecting for the audience too.

WHY IT SUCKS

In 1880’s London there are some very dodgy English accents going on, though not from Mr Marsters whose accent, as always, remains impeccable.

Also in 1880’s London, and later on in China, we see some typically dodgy wigs. Poor Boreanaz suffers the worst as per usual with a long messy mane that really doesn’t suit him. James’ wavy auburn wig isn’t much better either. Luckily the girls, Darla and Dru, both look great.

ITS BUFFTASTIC

70’s slayer Vs 70’s vampire

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Buffy: Don't worry. Accelerated healing powers come with the Slayer package. And the boyfriend who comes complete with combat medical training — that's just a Buffy Summers bonus.

Dawn: C'mon, who's the man?
Buffy: You are. A very short, annoying man.

Dawn: When do I get to patrol?
Buffy: Not until you are never!

Buffy: Look, I realise that every Slayer comes with an expiration mark on the package. But, I want mine to be a long time from now. Like a Cheeto.

Cecily: I do see you — that's the problem! You're nothing to me, William. (She stands and looks down at him.) You're beneath me.

Spike: What can I tell you, baby? I've always been bad.

Spike: The first lesson: A Slayer must always reach for her weapon. (He puts his vamp face on.) I've already got mine.

Spike: Death is your art. You make it with your hands day after day. That final gasp, that look of peace. And part of you is desperate to know: What's it like? Where does it lead you? And now you see, that's the secret. Not the punch you didn't throw or the kicks you didn't land. She really wanted it. Every Slayer has a death wish. Even you.

Spike: Come on. I can feel it, Slayer. You know you wanna dance.
Buffy: Say it's true. Say I do want to. (She pushes him to the ground.) It wouldn't be you, Spike. It would never be you. (She throws the cash at him.) You're beneath me.

AND ANOTHER THING

The original title for this episode was Love’s Bitch. An awesome title they should have stuck with.

Fool for Love was one of the fastest ever written episodes of Buffy. Doug Petrie pulled several all-nighters to get it done by drinking endless Red Bulls and grabbing short naps on set. He says he tried out all the beds on set, finding Buffy’s bed to be weird, making him feel like some kind of perverted stalker, so he settled on Buffy’s mom’s bed instead, which apparently was the most comfortable of all. Apparently he learned this habit from Joss who would regularly get some sleep on the beds on the set.

HOW MANY STAKES?

You’re no fool if you love this. 5 (out of 5)

BUFFY 5.5: NO PLACE LIKE HOME

“Out. For. A. Walk…Bitch!”

WRITER: Doug Petrie

DIRECTOR: David Solomon

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Buffy has become convinced that her mom’s as yet undiagnosed illness is the result of a supernatural attack. After a suggestion by Willow, she casts a spell at home to see if there are any traces of dark magic around her mom and the rest of the house, which would indicate some sort of supernatural attack. And whilst in her supernatural induced state, Buffy sees things which make her believe that Dawn is not in fact her sister but is really something evil looking to do her and her mom harm. After leaving the house to go investigate further, Buffy soon has a confrontation at an old factory with a very pretty, very powerful, and also seemingly unhinged young woman in a striking red dress who appears to be torturing a captured monk. After the crazy young woman in red gives a shocked Buffy a good ass kicking, Buff just about manages to escape with the monk as the factory collapses down on top of the crazy lady with the red dress on. Outside now, the monk, about to breathe his last, just about manages to tell Buffy the shocking truth about Dawn before he croaks.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

My annoying kid sister really is evil! And so the sibling rivalry Buff feels against her lil sis boils over in this episode as she thinks she has uncovered Dawn’s secret – that she is in fact some evil interloper in to their family looking to do harm. Buffy is far too eager to accept this. You can tell she kinda hopes it’s true. Could she slay her own ‘sister’? She even goes as far as to rough the poor kid up some, hurting her arm. Oddly Dawn becomes rather cold and coolly detached after this assault. I know it adds to the mystery (ooh, is she really evil?) but somehow I think she’d be well and truly freaked out based upon what we’ve seen of her so far. However the turn of events at episode’s end will put Buffy in to a new dynamic with Dawnie which will ultimately see big sis do absolutely anything to protect troublesome lil sis.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Glory aka The Beast: A devil with a red dress on.

WHY IT ROCKS

Glory. Clare Kramer plays Glory, a petite young blond girl in heels and striking red dress who’s clearly unhinged and immensely powerful with it. Oh, and enjoys sucking out people’s minds too. She’s cute. She’s wicked. She looks great in that dress. And she well and truly kicks Buffy’s ass. What is she? A demon? Something else? Time will tell. Love Glory. She’s one of my all time fave Buffy Big Bads. Just so much fun to watch not to mention very easy on the eye.

The spell Buffy casts to look for traces of dark magic around her house is very cool and shot in a weird and dreamy way. Love the fade in/outs of Dawn’s room with/without all her stuff in it. Reminds me of the Pang Brothers The Eye.

Giles in his darkish wizard outfit. And the long silent reaction from Buffy…leading to him taking it off. Funny.

Anya the sales assistant. Her wonderfully offhand rudeness to the customers is so funny. “Please go” she says after taking their money, leading to Xander having to explain to her some of the finer points of polite insincerity.

Love struck Spike. Okay, so this is the start of the truly Buffy-whipped Spike, but his adolescent behaviour is very funny and leads to one of the greatest Spike moments ever in this ep. “Out. For. A. Walk.” Pause. “Bitch.”

The Buffy/Glory fight. Buff seems to have truly met her physical match in another young blond girl not that unlike herself. In fact, Glory seems far more physically powerful, tossing poor Buff around like a rag doll. The fight is fairly brief but is quite brutal and high impact. Not exactly a graceful martial arts style fight of old, more just punch and bludgeon and throw.

The Dawn reveal. Ah, so this is how Buffy managed to have a sister we’d never heard of before. It all makes sense now. Joss, you ol’ devil, you.

WHY IT SUCKS

The opening fight with the vamp at the factory is pretty lame. The direction is flat, the blocking is uninspired and kinda slow. And Buffy spends far too much time quipping when she should of just staked the guy already.

Okay, I admit it. Dawn is intensely annoying in this episode. Still, didn’t like seeing her pushed around by Buff. Plus she does behave pretty immaturely for a 14-year-old.

ITS BUFFTASTIC

Spike’s “Out. For. A. Walk…Bitch!”

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Buffy (pulling a loitering Spike out from behind a tree): What are you doing here, Spike? Five words or less.
Spike (counting the words off on his fingers): Out. For. A. Walk. (pauses, then uses his thumb) Bitch!

Anya (to a customer who just finished her purchase): Please go.
Xander: Anya, the Shopkeepers of America called. They wanted me to tell you that "Please go" just got replaced with "Have a nice day."
Anya: But I have their money. Who cares what kind of day they have?
Xander: No one. It's just a long cultural tradition of raging insincerity. Embrace.

Dawn: What are you doing?
Buffy: My boyfriend. Go away.

Dawn (entering Giles’s new magic shop): Check out all the magic junk.
Giles: Our new slogan.

Willow: I can't help it. I just have all this involuntary empathy for Dawn. Cuz she's, you know... a big spaz.

Willow (displaying an item she's just wrapped): Does this look right to you?
Anya: Sure. If you wrapped it with your feet.

AND ANOTHER THING

Clare Kramer who plays Glory appeared in Bring It On with Eliza Dushku who plays Faith in Buffy and Angel.

HOW MANY STAKES?

A Glory-ous 3.5 (out of 5)

BUFFY 5.4: OUT OF MY MIND

WRITER: Rebecca Rand Kirshner

DIRECTOR: David Grossman

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Joyce has a strange and disturbing fainting fit and ends up in hospital. While at the hospital, Buffy discovers Riley has an abnormally fast heartbeat. After examining him the doctor strongly advises he checks in for tests and close observation but Riley is having none of it and he leaves. A worried Buffy meets up with Riley’s old Initiative buddy Graham who tells her that Riley has a potentially fatal condition brought about by all the experiments Maggie Walsh did on him and that if he doesn’t undergo an emergency procedure he will die. Buffy heads off to find a now AWOL Riley. She even enlists Spike to go looking in the old Initiative caves (for cash of course). However Spike double crosses Buffy and, hearing there’s an Initiative surgeon in town, heads to the hospital himself, Harmony in tow, looking to force the removal of his ‘sodding chip’ once and for all. Can Buffy find Riley in time and convince him to trust the government types and go have the life saving op? And can she stop Spike getting to the surgeon first and getting his chip removed?

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

There’s a whole load of male machismo stuff going on here. Men feeling inferior to strong women and not being able to handle it. Riley would rather die than lose his extra power, which means he is just about able to keep up with Buffy. He loves her, sure, but she also intimidates him, makes him feel emasculated, less of a man, that he is the weaker one who needs looking after and keeping safe. And big tough soldier boy Riley can’t handle it. And then there’s Spike who is in a similar position. He’s powerless due to his chip. He’s reduced to being an occasional punch bag for Buffy, a figure of annoyance and ridicule, to the Slayer and her pals. And he’ll do anything to get back what he once had.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Whatever is happening to poor Joyce. And, for the first time in ages, Spike. Yay!

WHY IT ROCKS

The theme. It works nicely and makes a good point about fragile male egos.

The old Spike. Finally, we get to see some of the old Spike again. Full of anger and bloodlust, excited to almost be back in the Slayer killing game. And James Marsters, as always, is fab.

Joyce. Poor Joyce has her first bad turn, which will lead on to bigger and far worse things.

Marc Blucas. He does a great job playing up Riley’s insecurities and paranoid state of mind. He really doesn’t look well in some scenes. A strong performance.

Witchy Willow. Willow is starting to use much more witchcraft on a casual basis. You can see it has Tara worried and is a nice foreshadowing of events in season 6.

Spike and Harm. They do make for a funny double act. A frustrated Spike playing twenty questions with Harm is an amusing highlight

WHY IT SUCKS

Sorry Riley, but this is not the most interesting story going. I like you but I’m really not that bothered about your macho insecurities. If I had a gal like Buff I wouldn’t be whinging about how much tougher she was than me. Oh woe is Riley.

After Buffy makes it clear she’d have to pay Spike to find Riley in the Initiative caves cuz she doesn’t know them at all, she manages to find him pretty easily after Spike double crosses her.

ITS BUFFTASTIC

That final scene where Spike discovers his true feelings for the Slayer. Like we didn’t see that coming.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Spike: I will know your blood, Slayer. I will make your neck my chalice... and drink deep. (turns around and pratfalls into an open grave) Ow!

Buffy (seeing the training room Giles, Riley and Xander have made her): You're like my fairy godmother, and Santa Claus, and Q all wrapped up into one. (they look at her) Q from Bond, not Star Trek.

Spike (watching Dawson’s Creek) Oh, Pacey! You blind idiot. Can't you see she doesn't love you?

Spike: OK. Is it bigger than a breadbox?
Harmony: No. Four left.
Spike: So it's smaller than a breadbox.
Harmony: Heh heh! No, only three.
Spike: Harmony... is it a sodding breadbox?
Harmony: Yes! Oh, my God. Someone's blondie bear is a Twenty Questions genius!

AND ANOTHER THING

This is the debut Buffy script by Rebecca Rand Kirshner who went on to write for the rest of Buffy's remaining seasons and for Angel too. A decent first script.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Stop whinging, Riley. 2.5 (out of 5)

BUFFY 4.11 ‘DOOMED’

Short trailer for this episode

WRITER: Marti Noxon, David Fury, Jane Espenson

DIRECTOR: James A. Contner

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Beginning where ‘Hush’ ended, Buffy and Riley are sitting together, not talking, unsure how to begin explaining to each other about their now not-so-secret lives. Eventually they do, and Buffy reacts badly. She wanted a nice normal guy. But now she seems to think that a relationship with Riley would be doomed. And so tries to end it between them. But Riley doesn’t understand and won’t walk away so easily. The couple’s heart to heart is suddenly interrupted by an earthquake. Riley is excited. But Buffy is scared as she sees earthquakes as omens of impending doom. She goes to see Giles who seems utterly unconcerned by the quake, putting it down to the usual Californian landmass shifts. Meanwhile Willow, at a party, makes a gruesome discovery, while Spike, who’s still staying with Xander, has become suicidal due to his now utterly miserable and degrading existence. Pretty soon though, Buffy is proved right about the earthquake being an omen of doom when the gang discovers that a demon cult is planning to reopen the Hellmouth beneath the destroyed Sunnydale High in order to usher in the apocalypse.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

It’s about attitude, positive and negative thinking, being fatalistic. Buffy starts the episode utterly fatalistic – about Riley, the world, everything, but she gradually changes as it goes along, discovering that it is possible to rewrite at least part of your own destiny. Plus it's also about never quite being able to leave your past behind, but also letting it go enough so as not to ruin your future. Willow and Xander are both unhappily reminded about their geeky pasts, while Buffy is still living in her past, haunted by her doomed romance with Angel. Then of course the gang quite literally revisit their past by having to return once more to Sunnydale High to battle evil.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

The Vahrall demons

WHY IT ROCKS

Three of the best. You’ve got three of the series’ best writers credited for this ep. As such, there are some great character beats and lots of wonderfully funny scenes and dialogue.

Suicidal Spike. James Marsters is hilarious as poor miserable Spike who’s been reduced to living in Xander’s basement, doing laundry and wearing some god-awful clothes. The scene where he tries to stake himself by falling on a table but only destroying said table is very funny. He can’t even do that right. In this ep poor Spike reaches an ultimate low. Luckily by episodes end he discovers something that gives him a new lease on (un)life.

Sunnydale High. Yay! We get to visit the semi-collapsed and burned out remains of Sunnydale High complete with chunks of charred Mayor Meat.

Xander’s ol’ pal. Riley thinks he recognises Spike (dressed in some awful Xander clothes). Spike, putting on a dreadful American accent, declares: “Me? No. No, sir. I'm just an ol' pal of Xander's here.” Heh! What you have here is an American actor playing a Brit doing a bad American accent. Most amusing indeed.

Joyful Spike. Towards episodes end Spike discovers that though he can’t hurt humans he can hurt demons, much to his immense joy. The last few seconds of the episode shows an excitable Spike trying to get a TV watching Willow and Xander up and out with him to go and find evil to fight, ”For the safety of puppies….and Christmas.” Good ol’ Spike. He just wants to do some damage. And if it’s only to demons then so be it.

WHY IT SUCKS

What story? The actual story itself is a bit naff. It’s just some demons trying to open the hellmouth to start an apocalypse. It’s paper thin. Basically this is an episode to cover the fallout from ‘Hush’ and to move the characters in to new positions for the rest of the season, though thematically it works ok within the terms of the episode itself.

Is it just me or does Giles’s voice in the scene where he’s telling Buffy that the earthquake is nothing to worry about sound a bit odd? It’s almost as if his lines were rerecorded and then overdubbed. It sounds a bit…fake.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Gleeful Spike right at episode’s end.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Buffy: "I'm the Slayer. (Riley looks blankly.) Slay-er. Chosen One. She who hangs out a lot in cemeteries. (He still looks blankly.) You're kidding me! Ask around. Look it up. Slayer, comma, The."

Riley: "Buffy. She's pretty cool, huh?"
Forrest: "Yes, already! She's cool. She's hot. She's tepid. She's all-temperature Buffy."

Giles: "Oh — as usual — dear."

Spike: “My sodding sleeping chair's bloody... sodden.”

Xander (to Spike): “I hate to break it to you, O Impotent One, but you're not the Big Bad anymore. You're not even the Kind of Naughty. You're nothing but a waste of space. My space! And as much I always got a big laugh watching Buffy kick your shiny white bum, and as much as I know that I could give you a little bum-kicking myself right now, I'm here to tell you something: You're not even worth it!”

Buffy (anxiously to Giles about the earthquakes): “I told you. I said 'End of the World,' and you were like pooh-pooh, Southern California, pooh-pooh.”

Xander: “Think of the happy. If we don't find what we're looking for, we're facing the apocalypse.”
Spike (cheering up): “Really? You're not just saying that?”

Spike (on his newly regained bad-assness): “That's right! I'm back and I'm a bloody animal! Yeah!”

Spike (excited to a bored looking Xander and Willow): “I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy? Is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One, after all. Come one, vampires, Grrr, nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice, and for... the safety of puppies, and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! (Frustrated now) Oh, come on!”

AND ANOTHER THING

As of this episode Marc Blucas gets added to the opening credits

Forrest tells Riley that he "don't got game," which might be an in joke seeing as how Leonard Roberts who plays Forrest co-starred in the 1998 movie He Got Game.

HOW MANY STAKES?

We’re doomed, we’re doomed! 3 (out of 5)

BUFFY 4.09 ‘SOMETHING BLUE’

“Don’t I get a cookie?”

WRITER: Tracey Forbes
DIRECTOR: Nick Marck

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Willow, still feeling terrible over Oz’s leaving, tries a spell to lessen her heartbreak. Unfortunately the spell goes wrong and unbeknownst to the misery stricken Wiccan what ever she says about the people she is closest to actually happens to them. Arguing with Giles, Willow says that he just doesn’t see anything. And a short time later Giles starts going blind. Then, angry at Xander over his advice to her about love, she tells him he’s in no position to give advice as he’s just a demon magnet. Pretty soon demons start showing up out of the blue, accosting poor Xan. Best of all though, Spike escapes from Giles’s place and Buffy has to leave Willow to go find and recapture the naughty vamp. Willow, upset that Buffy has left her to go find Spike, says that Buffy should just go marry him then. Next thing we know (much to Giles and Xander’s horror) Buffy and Spike are very much in love and planning their wedding, which leads to one confused conversation between Buffy and a totally flummoxed Riley. Things start getting even more out of hand as the gang is cornered by more and more demons out for Xander’s blood. At the same time, impressed by Willow’s curses on her friends, the great vengeance demon D'Hoffyrn goes and brings the unwittingly havoc wreaking girl to his dimension and offers her a job.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Dealing with heartbreak. Friends helping those who are dealing with heartbreak.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Willow (unwittingly), lots of various demons out to get Xander, and D'Hoffyrn.

WHY IT ROCKS

The script. Making up for some of the naffness of ‘Beer Bad’ Tracey Forbes writes a fun, frothy frolic of an episode. It’s not deep, it’s not clever, and it plays almost like a dose of fan fiction, but it is a lot of goofy fun.

Comedy. There is some broad and very funny comedy in this episode. A lot of it comes from Giles and his loss of sight and his exasperation and disgust at Buffy and Spike ‘in love’. The stuff at Giles’s house with Buffy and Spike being all lovey dovey is hilarious. After Xander arrives and sees Buffy and Spike canoodling, and then hearing that Giles is blind, he stares in horror at the mystically loved-up pair and says plaintively, “Can I be blind too?”

Spike and Buffy sitting in a tree… Spike and Buffy start out the episode at each others throats (well, Spike would be if he could actually hurt her). The platinum vamp is chained up in Giles’s bathtub being fed blood from a novelty mug while Buffy taunts him with her bare pulsing throat. They continue to go at it until Willow’s spell does its thing and suddenly the pair is in blissful love and all over each other, planning their wedding. The chemistry between them is great and they are so darn funny together.

Giles. Tony Head is fab. He sells the growing blindness so well not to mention his wonderfully judged air of horrific exasperation at everything that’s going on. Very funny indeed. He even gets to do a spot on pratfall.

The Amy rat. Very briefly we get to see Amy turned back human again, albeit for a split second behind an unwitting Willow and Buffy’s backs. It’s a swift gag. But it’s a nice nod to continuity (something Buffy does brilliantly) and is rather chucklesome.

WHY IT SUCKS

Rubbery demons. Some of the demons attacking Xander are kinda rubbery and not too convincing.

Poor Willow. The gang’s rather insensitive attitude to Willow (mostly behind her back) is pretty grim and not very nice. Lest they forget Buffy had only recently stopped obsessing over nasty Parker. Cut the poor redhead some slack people!

Fluffy Buffy. This ep is a lot of goofy fun but is entirely fluff and doesn’t add anything weighty to the season.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Giles’s reaction to seeing Buffy and Spike ‘together’.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Xander (watching Willow dancing energetically at the Bronze): "I believe that's the dance of a brave little toaster."

Giles: “We can't let you go until we're sure that you're impotent or —“
Spike: “Hey!”
Giles: “Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we know that you're...”
Buffy: “Flaccid?”
Spike: “You are one step away, missy!

Buffy (faux-sexy): “Look at my poor neck — all bare, and tender, and exposed. All that blood, just pumping away.”
Spike (angrily): “Giles, make her stop!”
Giles (to Willow, exasperated): “If those two don't kill each other, I might lend a hand.”

Spike (yelling): “Passions is on! Timmy's down the bloody well, and if you make me miss it I'll —“
Giles: “Do what? Lick me to death?”

Giles (hearing Spike and Buffy kissing): “Stop that right now! I can hear the smacking.”

Buffy (gleeful): “Spike and I are getting married!”
Xander (stunned): “How? What? How?”
Giles: “Three excellent questions.”

Buffy (to Willow): “And the bad boy thing? Over it. Okay, I totally get it. I'd be really happy to be in a nice relationship with a decent, reliable… Oh my God, Riley thinks I'm engaged!”

HOW MANY STAKES?

Willow didn’t mean to do it. 3 (out of 5)

Buffy: 3.8 ‘Lover’s Walk’

Cool animation to Spike’s “Love’s Bitch…” speech.

Writer: Dan Vebber
Director: David Semel

What's the sitch?

A drunken, miserable and broken-hearted Spike returns to Sunnydale after being dumped by Drusilla who went and ran off with a mucus-covered chaos demon due to not being able to get over Spike having teamed up with the Slayer to defeat Angel’s world destroying plans last season. This has gone and left our favourite platinum vamp a bitter and broken creature of the night…until he hatches a plan to get Dru back using a love spell. But for that he’ll need a witch. Luckily for Spike Willow fits the bill. So he kidnaps the red headed Wiccan along with Xander, who are both caught in the midst of their own growing mutual attraction, and locks them up telling Willow to do the spell or he’ll kill Xander. Willow agrees but needs supplies. Spike heads out to get those supplies but soon runs in to Buffy and Angel. Telling them he has Willow and Xander hostage somewhere they’ll never find, he forces the pair to help him get the ingredients he needs to cast the love spell as well as to fight off a bunch of local demons just aching for a piece of Spike’s hide.

What's the sitch beneath the sitch?

It’s all about love, baby. Well, more precisely, being Buffy it’s actually about the pain and confusion and misery of love. Home truths are told…mostly by Spike. For some reason he can see through the lie Buffy and Angel are both living regarding their relationship. They aren’t ‘just friends’ and never will be. It takes this evil vampire, a creature of confounding emotional empathy and sensitivity, to tell the truth about love and passion. At the same time Willow and Xander are fighting their growing mutual attraction and physical urges. They feel terrible about what is happening between them as they both care deeply for their respective partners and yet seem helpless to stop it. Thinking they are gonna die trapped in the old factory, they give in and engage in a passionate clinch…only to be caught in the act by Oz and Cordy who’ve come to rescue them. The episode ends unhappily for almost everyone. Buffy knows what Spike said about her and Angel is true, while Cordy is in hospital after getting injured fleeing from the sight of Xander cheating on her. Oz, meanwhile, has gone quiet and withdrawn as would be his way, and Willow and Xander are distraught but have no idea how to fix things. The only person who ends this episode happy is Spike. He had an epiphany, deciding to become the old Spike again, to forget magic and moping and to just go get Dru back the way he knows best…with evil and extreme violence. And he leaves town a cheerful and reinvigorated monster.

Who's giving us the wiggins this week?

Spike

Why it rocks

Spike, Spike, Spike… Need I go on? Okay, I will.

Spike’s drunken arrival in town knocking down the Sunnydale sign as he did in his very first entrance in season 2.

James Marsters. He’s utterly brilliant and owns this episode entirely. From his first scene crashing the car in to the Sunnydale sign ala last season’s ‘School Hard’ (only this time falling out in a drunken stupor), to pouring out his heart to Joyce over hot chocolate, to his vulnerable and passionate speech about the nature of love, the guy is a pure joy to behold.

The aforementioned scene with Joyce. It is typical of Buffy that a scene/story you think will go one way goes and takes a sharp left turn. We assume Spike is gonna attack or hurt Joyce when he goes to Buffy’s house. In fact, he just wants some motherly comfort and a friendly non-judgemental ear. Both actors play it beautifully and its almost a shame when Angel and then Buffy turn up to move the plot along. This scene is the start of what is one of the most sweet, subtle and fun relationships on the show. Spike and Joyce genuinely seem to like each other and form an odd sort of mother/son bond. It wasn’t hugely explored but it is there. And when in season 5 Joyce dies and Spike comes to the house with flowers, it isn’t an act. He genuinely liked the lady. But then as we find out later in the show Spike has some major mother issues to deal with.

The pain of love. Yep, love in Buffy is never pleasant or smooth or fairytale. It’s pain, pain and more pain. And ‘Lover’s Walk’ brings that pain mostly to Willow/Oz and Xander/Cordy but also to Buffy and Angel by exposing the lie they are both living. This of course will lead to Angel leaving for LA at the end of this season with the promise of his own successful series.

Dan Vebber. The guy wrote a great script full of heartache, pathos, pain, hilarity, violence, thematic depth and major character development. There is no big monster to slay this week or a mystical thingamabob to find/destroy, it is simply all about the characters and what they are going through. It’s brilliantly Buffy that in the end Spike can’t be arsed with the love spell and just tells Buffy where he’s stashed her friends before heading off a much happier vampire. Not many shows will go and nullify an entire episode’s plot with one line and then just let the villain walk away having been the overall winner from proceedings.

Spike leaving town in his car while happily singing along to Gary Oldman’s performance of Sid Vicious’s version of ‘My Way’. Priceless.

Why it sucks

Hardly any Giles.

Where’s Faith?

It's Buftastic

Spike’s drunken, violent arrival in town. Classic!

Dialogue to die for

Oz: "I can see why you'd be upset. Uh, that was my sarcastic voice."
Xander: "Y'know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice."
Oz: "I've been told that."

Buffy: "She saw these scores and her head spun around and exploded."
Giles: "I've been on the Hellmouth too long. That was metaphorical, yes?"

Spike: "You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love 'til it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other 'til it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."

Spike: “I'm really glad I came here, you know? I've been all wrongheaded about this. Weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just gotta be the man I was, the man she loved. I'm gonna do what I shoulda done in the first place: I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her until she likes me again.”

And another thing

According to the "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign Spike runs over, the population of Sunnydale is 38,500.

That really was James Marsters’ hand on fire in the scene where Spike wakes up in the sun. They couldn’t figure out how to do it with a stuntman and keep it all in the same shot, so James volunteered. It took two takes and he received some minor burns but says he was happy to have done it.

The version of ‘My Way’ Spike sings along to is sung by Gary Oldman playing Sid Vicious in the movie Sid and Nancy – a tip of the hat to the inspiration behind Spike and Dru.

How many stakes?

Spike’s doing it his way. 4.5/5

Buffy: Season 2, Episode 3 ‘School Hard’

The baddest bad couple around.

Writer: David Greenwalt
Director: John Kretchmer

What's the sitch?

It’s parent teacher evening at Sunnydale High which Buffy and fellow ‘troublesome’ student Sheila have been put in charge of organising by odious Principle Snyder. Snyder is looking forward to meeting Buffy’s mum so he can tell her all about how much trouble her daughter is to the school and how close she is to expulsion. So as well as arranging everything for the event and doing so with a largely absent Sheila, Buffy must also somehow keep her mum away from Snyder on the night itself. But that’s not all of her problems. For unknown to Buffy a certain badass platinum haired vamp has (literally) hit town for the first time and, along with his insane girlfriend, is looking to bag himself a third slayer scalp. Cue a vampire invasion of the school on parent teacher night and Buffy fighting back guerrilla style ala John McClane – hence the episode title.

What's the sitch beneath the sitch?
More high school is hell stuff along with the usual thing of Buffy trying to balance her school life, home life and slaying life which is made all that more harder by the odious Snyder.

Who's giving us the wiggins this week?

Who do you think?

Why it rocks

1. Vampire lovers. SPIKE AND DRU! SPIKE AND DRU! SPIKE AND DRU! The pair make their Buffy debut in this episode. The rest is history.

2. James and Juliet. James Marsters and Juliet Landau as the Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen inspired vampire lovers make an instantly unforgettable impression and become a firm fan favourite. Marsters is all cocky English swagger and punk rock anarchy attitude while Landau is eerily demented and deceptively fragile. And their chemistry together is explosive.

3. This ep is a blatant but brilliant Die Hard homage with Buffy crawling through ventilation ducts and taking out individual vamps along the way then rescuing the trapped parents before having a final face off with Spike. A face off which ends in a way that could only happen in an episode of Buffy.

4. John Kretchmer who directed part 2 of the Buffy pilot does great work here. It’s tense, exciting, a smidgen scary and always tons of fun.

Why it sucks

It doesn’t. At all.

It's Buftastic

Two moments:

1. Spike’s iconic arrival in town by running over the Sunnydale sign

2. Buffy and Spike’s final battle with Joyce coming to her daughter’s rescue at the last moment.

Dialogue to die for

Spike: [to a rival vampire] "You were there? Oh, please! If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock. I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flower person, and I spent the next six hours watching my hand move."

Buffy: “Cordelia, I have at least three lives to contend with, none of which really mesh. It's kind of like oil and water and a... third unmeshable thing.”

Drusilla: [about her favourite doll Miss Edith] “Miss Edith speaks out of turn. She's a bad example and will have no cakes today.”

Joyce: [after braining Spike with an axe] "You get the hell away from my daughter!"

And another thing

Spike says that Angel was his sire but we later find out Spike was actually sired by Drusilla. Dru was the one sired by Angel/Angelus, thus making Angel Spike’s grandsire.

Spike and Dru were based upon Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen as confirmed by Joss.

Spike wasn’t for certain going to be English. Marsters did several accents before Joss and co settled on his English one.

In this episode we discover that the authorities are wise to the weird supernatural stuff that goes on in Sunnydale but are keeping it quiet. Mention is also made of The Mayor foreshadowing season 3.

Spike destroys the Sunnydale sign a second time in his one and only season 3 appearance ‘Lovers Walk’. Though that time it is an accident as he’s totally drunk.

Juliet Landau (Dru) is the daughter of Oscar winning actor Martin Landau and his ex-wife Barbara Bain and appeared with her dad in Tim Burton’s 1994 classic Ed Wood for which Martin Landau won his Oscar for playing Bela Lugosi.

How many stakes?

This time it’s 5 spikes (out of 5)

The Best of Spike

I found a couple of truly great tribute vids on YouTube to my favourite ever TV character. One of the best gags to be seen on a TV show is featured in part 2. "Out. For. A. Walk. (pause) Bitch." Heh!

Part 1 - I wanna be sedated

Part 2 - Dancing with myself


So how come James Marsters isn't a bigger star?