My Favourite Movie Teaser Trailers

For a bit of fun (and cuz I had nothing better to do) I decided to have a look around YouTube for some of my favourite ever movie teaser trailers. I managed to find a few, though I've probably missed a few others I've loved over the years. But the ones which have left an indelible mark on my brain are here. I wish the trailers could be shown as nameless seeing as how many are mysterious and let you work out the movie they are trailing as they unfold. But sadly that's not possible when using the Tube of You. Never mind. Also there's a little bit of personal narrative below each one. So if you agree or disagree or can think of any other movie teasers that you love then please let me know in the comments section. Enjoy.


The Exorcist

Damn! If I'd seen this in a theatre in the early 70's I think I'd have filled my pants with smelly stuff. This is one freaky and utterly brilliant teaser for one utterly brilliant film.

The Living Daylights

I remember seeing this for the first time on the big screen of the local Odeon Cinema and being immediately enthralled. I'd grown up with Roger Moore as Bond. I'd seen some Connery on TV but Moore was my 007. To have a new Bond was a huge deal and this trailer promised something more serious and, yes, more dangerous. Great teaser for a great Bond film.

The Lost World

A simple yet wonderfully effective teaser which sells the idea that the sequel is gonna be darker and nastier than the first. It may not be the better film (although personally I prefer it) but it is darker in tone and this trailer, being played on a big screen, with loud DTS sound was one heck of a thrill.

T2

The daddy of all teaser trailers does exactly what any great teaser should: it sets up the idea for the movie, letting you know what is coming but giving away nothing of the actual story. Plus it is a striking piece if film making in its own right. Basically a short self contained prequel to the film itself. Stunning.

Alien

Pure atmosphere that sells the film without giving away any actual footage, story or characters, relying instead on mood through sound and imagery. Creepy in the extreme.

An American Werewolf in London

A brilliant teaser for my favourite horror movie ever. This sells the idea without using any footage from the film itself, relying instead on creative visuals, atmosphere, tension and a simple but great pay off. Brrrr

Escape from LA

This is more a proper trailer than a teaser but I do love it even if I don't much love the film itself. The tone of the trailer is great being playful and cynical and the intro bit is a great piece of misdirection.

Bram Stoker's Dracula

A great mood piece concentrating on the legend behind the camera and the legendary story he is telling through creative CGI, wonderfully ominous music and a good use of flash imagery from the film. Plus that killer end reveal of Mr Oldman. Beware indeed.

The Addams Family

Brilliant! I'd almost forgotten about this one. Simple and very, very amusing. Captures the spirit of the movie perfectly. Love it.

Goldeneye

Bond again. Okay, most of this trailer is simply fast cut shots from the film (albeit done very well with great rhythm) but it is the opening few seconds which work so brilliantly and manage to reintroduce this classic character to a (then) 90's audience.

Day of the Dead

Romero zombies. What more do you need? Actually I can live without the build up at the start of this trailer as I remember seeing another trailer somewhere which was nothing but the scene with Sarah in the empty room walking towards the calendar on the far wall before.... But I couldn't find that. The truncated version is in here though. One of the best scares in cinema history.

Star Trek

This is a great teaser and spine tingly good for any long time fan. It's basically the T2 teaser only with a starship. And it works brilliantly.

Superman Returns

I love this trailer. But then I love this film even if I am in a minority. The combination of that classic Brando voice over, that score, and Bryan Singer's careful imagery never fails to puts a lump in my throat.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

This is a strange trailer for Last Crusade as it's a behind the scenes 'making of' one which concentrates on the filmmakers themselves rather than the actual story and character. Odd but it works. You don't often see trailers like this which makes it memorable in its own right.

BUFFY 4.19: ‘NEW MOON RISING’

Willow and Oz’s very first date. Cute. (Ally and Seth circa 1988)

WRITER: Marti Noxon

DIRECTOR: James A. Contner

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Just as Willow and Tara are enjoying the flowering of their new romantic relationship, who should suddenly turn up out of the blue but Oz. Yep, good ol’ Oz. The taciturn wolfman is back. He’s been travelling the world searching for a cure for his werewolfism. And he appears to have found it. His reappearance throws poor Willow and obviously crushes an already insecure Tara. Oz, not knowing about Willow and Tara, is looking to get his girl back now that he’s discovered a way to control his beast, to keep it inside. However he soon cottons on to Willow’s new relationship. And an explosion of jealousy releases his savage inner beast. Transforming in to a wolf, Oz chases Tara only to be quickly captured and subdued by Riley and a squad of Initiative soldiers who think he’s the demon who killed one of their men earlier on (he isn’t). Before Tara can tell Riley’s its Oz, the unconscious wolf is carted away. Tara rushes to find Buffy and Willow to tell them what happened. A plan is quickly formed to sneak in to the Initiative and rescue Oz, which the gang manages to do, forcing Riley to finally choose a side.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Oz is back and dealing with his inner beast. So we are back to that beast within metaphor. There is also a potentially abusive relationship angle here as we now realise that anger, jealousy – especially to do with Willow - lets loose Oz’s beast. They have a conversation where Oz says if she ever makes him angry then he could go all animal and hurt her. At least Oz realises the issue and makes responsible decisions. There’s also a theme of bigotry and sexuality. Willow basically comes out to Buffy, telling her about Tara. Initially Buffy is rather shocked and kinda thrown. But she soon recovers and gives her friend the support she needs. Later, when discussing with Riley about Oz being a werewolf, and seeing shocked Riley’s reaction to Willow having been involved with such a creature, Buffy gets angry at Riley’s apparent bigotry. She rightly says that love isn’t always clean and simple. You love who you love. Though I suspect Buffy is angrier at her own initial reaction to Willow confiding in her as well as also reflecting on her own past relationship with Angel.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Oz I guess, with the Initiative guys having a good try.

WHY IT ROCKS

The script. Marti Noxon wrote an emotional rollercoaster. Poor Willow. Poor Tara. Poor Oz. People are gonna get hurt. And hurt they do indeed get.

The themes. As discussed in the ‘What’s the sitch beneath the sitch?’ section, the themes are strong and pretty effective without ever beating the audience over the head.

Oz. Yay! Seth Green returns for his penultimate ever appearance on Buffy to tie up the loose ends left hanging after his rather hasty departure earlier in the season. And as always he’s great. It’s good to see a slightly new side to the character – a pent up aggression which is totally against type.

Willow. Alyson Hannigan is truly excellent. Poor Willow is put through the emotional wringer, not knowing what to do, not wanting to hurt anyone. Her last scene with Oz in his van is wonderful as is her sad little speech to him, perfectly written by Marti Noxon. Her final scene with Tara is equally good and oh so sweet.

Tara. Amber Benson does strong work. You can see her heart starting to break when Oz turns up. She has to make you believe that Willow would want to be with her. And she does. Tara is sweet, gentle and willing to put everyone else’s needs before her own.

WHY IT SUCKS

As always, werewolf Oz looks rubbish. Hairy monkey time again.

I’m not quite sure why the Initiative guys would believe that Buffy would really kill their general when she’s holding him hostage. Everything they know of her would tell them she’s bluffing. Hey ho.

Oz has been gone for about five and a half months. He seems to have travelled an awful long way and seen a lot of remote parts of the world in that time. Not impossible, just a bit improbable.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Willow and Oz’s final goodbye

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Riley: “OK, I'm up less than a minute and somehow I've managed to piss you off.”

Buffy: “You mean Tara has a crush on Oz? No, you — oh. Oh. Um... Well... That's great. You know, I mean, I think Tara is a really great girl, Will.”
Willow: “She is. And... there's something between us. It wasn't something I was looking for. It's just powerful. And it's totally different from what Oz and I have.”
Buffy: “Well, there you go. I mean, you know, you have to follow your heart, Will. And that's what important, Will.”
Willow: “Why do you keep saying my name like that?”
Buffy: “Like what, Will?”
Willow: “Are you freaked?”
Buffy: “What? No, Will, don't — (regains her composure) No. No, absolutely no to that question. I'm glad you told me.”

Adam: “Scout's honour.”
Spike: “You were a Boy Scout?”
Adam: “Parts of me.”

Oz: “It was stupid to think that you'd just be... waiting.”
Willow: “I was waiting. I feel like some part of me will always be waiting for you. Like if I'm old and blue-haired and I turn the corner in Istanbul, and there you are. I won't be surprised... Because you're with me, you know?”

AND ANOTHER THING

In the original script Emma Caulfield was listed with the regulars for the first time, though she wasn’t yet added to the opening credits.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Return of the Wolfman. 4 (out of 5)

BUFFY: 4.06 ‘WILD AT HEART’

A video about this episode featuring ‘Need to Destroy’ by THC as heard in the episode.

WRITER: Marti Noxon
DIRECTOR: David Grossman

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

It’s full moon time again and Oz is getting ready to get hairy. But his growing friendship and obvious attraction to sultry singer Veruca is worrying Willow, though she won’t say anything as she doesn’t want to come across all jealous. On the first night of the full moon (remember in Buffy that werewolves change the night before, the night of, and the night after the full moon) Oz gets loose from his cage and meets up with another werewolf, scaring Professor Walsh in the process. The two werewolves fight. Fade to black. The next day Oz wakes up in the woods naked…entwined with a naked Veruca. It is obvious the pair got it on while in wolf form. Veruca is a free spirit and won’t be caged when she turns. She tries to entice Oz to give up locking himself away at full moons and to be with her from now on. Their mutual animal attraction is undeniable but Oz resists. That night, concerned that Veruca might hurt someone, Oz tricks her in to his lockable cage. The next morning Willow turns up to free him but she is heartbroken to find a naked Oz and naked Veruca entwined yet again. Oz tries to explain but Willow is inconsolable. The next night, Veruca, determined to get Oz for herself, decides to eliminate the one thing standing in her way: Willow.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

The heartbreak around relationships that for what ever reason are just not working anymore. Plus the old resisting the beast inside, and how pure animal lust based upon nothing more can be destructive.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Veruca

WHY IT ROCKS

The script. Marti Noxon wrote a smart, funny, tragic, heartbreaking script that in one episode utterly destroys a brilliant relationship which had been at the very heart of this show for the previous two years.

Oz and Willow. We watched as Oz became utterly entranced upon his first seeing Willow back in early season 2, a then rather awkward, geeky young girl. And we watched Willow become deeply attached to this kind, whip smart, stoically funny base player who just happens to be a werewolf. Their chemistry together has been second to none, making them a pure joy to watch on screen. But in the space of 44 minutes it all gets torn asunder.

Alyson Hannigan. We already know she’s an excellent actress and in this episode she gets to bring the pain in a big way: the floods of tears, the look of utter devastation that haunts her face and her entire demeanour. As Joss once said, and I paraphrase, if you want to get the audience on side then just put Willow in danger or make her cry. Instant emotional gut wrench. And he’s right. Ally making the big wet eyes just stabs your heart.

Seth Green. We love Seth Green. He’s Scott Evil. He’s Chris Griffin. He’s co-creator of the ace Robot Chicken. He’s been in loads of movies. But to some of us he will always be Daniel ‘Oz’ Osbourne – the first big love of Willow’s life. Here, Seth gives a typically low-key Oz style performance, though you can feel the confusion, the anger, the pain and the anguish radiating from him throughout. His last scene with Willow is brilliant and would make the stoniest of hearts crack just a little. We will miss you Oz. You were THE (wolf) man! *Sniff*

Spike’s hilarious cameo. At the start of the episode the platinum vamp is watching from a safe distance as Buffy bests a vamp. He then starts to give an angry and dramatic monologue directed at the Slayer only to be suddenly and unceremoniously stunned unconscious by one of the mysterious army guys seen prowling around all season. And that’s the last we see of him all episode.

WHY IT SUCKS

Though a very good episode it feels like a rather rushed exit for such a beloved character. But there were unavoidable reasons for this. See ‘AND ANOTHER THING’ further down for more.

Veruca. The sexy, sultry, dangerous bad girl act doesn’t really come off. She comes across more as a rather annoying wannabe. You want sexy bad girl? Faith. ‘nuff said. Paige Moss who plays Veruca is okay but using my own inner animal I detected no real depth or edge to her performance. Nothing to make my inner beast perk up. Guess it’s just a werewolf thing.

The werewolves. Since the show redesigned the wolves after their first appearance in 2.15 ‘Phases’ they have looked like utter shit. I hate them. They look like people in silly furry costumes prancing around like idiots. There is nothing remotely wolf-like about them. Professor Walsh even says in this episode that at first she thought they were gorillas. That’s an insult to gorillas. And what's with Oz’s ridiculous werewolf mutton chops in his mid-transformation phase? Jeez!

Lip synching. Paige Moss’s lip synching to the songs Veruca sings is terrible. It doesn’t match at all. Plus her ‘sultry’ and ‘seductive’ stage performance is so overdone it is pretty darn funny.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

A tie between Spike’s hilarious cameo at the start and the last scene between Willow and Oz. It gets you right here (points at chest).

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Buffy (to random vamp she's fighting): "You know very well, you eat this late... (Stakes him.)... you're gonna get heartburn. Get it? Heartburn? (He turns to dust.) That's it? That's all I get? One lame-ass vamp with no appreciation for my painstakingly thought out puns. I don't think the forces of darkness are even trying."

Willow: "I have wrong feelings about other guys sometimes. But I feel guilty and I flog and punish."
Buffy: "Exactly. I'm sure Oz is flogging and punishing himself... this is sounding wrong before I even finish."

Spike (to Buffy, out of earshot): “Watch your mouth, little girl. You should know better than to tempt the Fates that way. 'Cause the Big Bad is back, and this time it's... VARGHHHHHH!” (As he's being shocked with a taser.)

Giles: “Don't look at me that way. I'm down with the new music.”

Willow (To Xander): “I need a translator from the 'Y' side of things.”

Oz: “Look, Buffy, you should know that, that —“
Buffy: “Oz, now might be a good time for your trademark stoicism.”

Willow: “Oz, don't you love me?”
Oz: “My whole life I've never loved anything else.”

AND ANOTHER THING

THC is the real band playing the music of Shy, Veruca’s band.

Seth Green’s departure from Buffy was a rather short notice affair. He’d had a big hit that summer with Austin Powers 2 and was looking to further his film career. Luckily Oz wasn’t killed off and would reappear in one episode of season 5 to draw a final line under the Willow/Oz story.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Bye, bye Oz. 3.5 (out of 5)

Buffy: 3.4 'Beauty and the Beasts'

WAAHHH! I'm all veiny!

Writer: Marti Noxon
Director: James Whitmore Jr


What's the sitch?


Corpses who've been mauled to death start turning up around town and Buffy fears it might be down to Angel, who she's found in an almost mindless, feral state after his mysterious return. A return Buffy is keeping a secret, not telling anyone, not even Giles. She also has to regularly see the school’s therapist as part of her re-admittance. Meanwhile Willow fears the killer might be Oz, because in wolf mode he escaped from the library book cage (after Xander fell asleep while on guard duty) around the same time the murders happened. As it turns out neither vampire nor werewolf are responsible for the killings. The culprit is actually Pete, a friend of Buffy’s new beau, dull Scott Hope. You see Pete, a science genius, is also deeply insecure in his relationship with his long-time love, Debbie, who happens to be a platonic friend of Oz's. And so to compensate for his perceived inadequacies, Pete has invented a potion that enhances his masculine, aggressive side so as to (he believes) keep Debbie interested. Unfortunately the potion messes with Pete's mind and physically transforms him in to a strong and murderous Mr Hyde type who is also immensely abusive to Debbie. Pretty soon Oz becomes concerned for Debbie, and Pete starts seeing Oz as a threat to his relationship. So he decides to take some action against our favourite hirsute guitarist. Cue a Mr Hyde vs werewolf showdown.


What's the sitch beneath the sitch?


More of the old beast within sitch. Oz is an unwilling victim of is internal beast but he manages to control it – mostly because he loves Willow. Angel has reverted to a beast and yet somehow keeps a level of control and instinctual protectiveness of Buffy. But Pete willingly reverts to a bestial state through misguided fear of losing Debbie and is own deep insecurities. The three love struck women in the episode each has a beast of a boyfriend– Buffy with Angel, Willow with Oz and Debbie with Pete. But it is only Debbie who cannot or will not admit to Pete's behaviour. She's become far to dependent and beaten down. Basically this is your abusive controlling boyfriend metaphor given a Sunnydale twist.


Why it rocks


Seth Green. We get to see more of Oz and how he relates to others on a personal level. Turns out he's a great guy, a caring guy. Like we didn't already know.

This works quite well as a mystery whodunit. We aren't sure who is the killer until later on in the episode.

Poor Buffy. Finding Angel returned sends her whole world in to a spin. She was just recovering and now it all goes kaphlooey again. The kid never gets a break.


Why it sucks


This is a dull filler episode that goes nowhere. Feel free to skip it.

The metaphor is too glaring and the overall story just ain't very good. Pete is an idiot and a pretty rubbish beast with his blistery red face. Plus Debbie is the worst kind of simpering victim who is just there to be abused and to suffer. At least Lily aka Chantarelle, another simpering girly girl, develops and grows over time. But Debbie is the worst kind of victim - a willingly helpless one.

The new werewolf design is terrible. It's like a flat faced monkey and about as scary as a pair of socks.

Is it just me or how the heck can such a puny looking book cage hold a ferocious werewolf?

Not enough Faith.


Dialogue to die for


Xander: Oz doesn't eat people. It's more werewolf play. You know, 'I bat you around a little bit. Like a cat toy. I have harmless wolf fun.' Is it Oz's fault, that, you know, side effect, people get cut to ribbons, and maybe then he'll take a little nibble and...I'm not helping am I?

Buffy (arriving at the school shrink’s office): Buffy Summers, reporting for sanity.

Giles: Clearly, we're looking for a depraved, sadistic animal.
Oz: Present. I may be a cold-blooded jelly doughnut, but my timing is impeccable.

Giles (getting accidentally shot in the arse with a tranquilliser dart): Right! Bloody priceless...


It's Bufftastic


Giles getting accidentally shot by the tranquilliser meant for Oz. “Right! Bloody priceless...” then collapsing unconscious.


And another thing


The story uses Jack London's Call of the Wild as a touchstone with Willow reading it to Oz in werewolf form. However the passages read are not actually from the book but are paraphrased from different parts of the book.

Mr. Platt, the school shrink’s smoking reinforces the show's clear bias against smoking. Every character in the show who has smoked has been either evil (Spike and the evil Angel), doomed (Laura in "Nightmares" and the woman who was Angel's first kill after re-losing his soul) or both (Sheila in "School Hard"). And now Mr Platt.

In the locker room behind Buffy is an anti-violence poster that reads 'Most Women Aren't Attracted to Dead Guys.' Oh the irony.

Willow has a Scooby Doo lunch box. Heh.


Rating

This beast needs putting down. 1.5 (out of 5)

Fangers, Digby and Casper: True Blood vs. Being Human

(True Blood's Jessica getting frisky...not in a good way.)


I've just finished watching the finale of True Blood series 3. And it was great, a lot of fun, just like the season overall and a marginal improvement on season 2.

But though this season had its fair share of inspired and messed up 'HOLY C**P!' moments (head twisting sex springs to mind) I didn't find myself particularly involved in what was going on. Part of the problem for me has been the werewolves. The furry critters made their début on the show this year. And that's cool. I love werewolves. They are by far my favourite mythical monster. Unfortunately the werewolves in True Blood ended up being a bit crap. They were mostly shallow and dimwitted trailer trash thugs. And as for the vampires... Well, Bill proved himself yet again to be a right arse. Luckily Eric is still pretty cool and I do still love Jessica. Other than that I don't much like the vamps in this show, though I did appreciate seeing more of their supernatural side this year. I loved it when their invitation to a home gets revoked and they then get invisibly dragged in reverse back outside. The series ended with several plot threads and a couple of cliffhangers ready for series 4.

Don't get me wrong, True Blood is still a highly watchable and enjoyable series full of great actors, high production values and messed up creativity. It even manages the odd good scare. Perhaps it's the format of fast paced plotting, loads of characters, gratuitous sex and gore that is starting to wear a tinsy bit thin with me. I kinda need something more for long term viewing. A bit more depth and a bit more weight maybe?

Speaking of vamps and werewolves I've also been re-watching series 1 of the BBC's Being Human. It is easy to forget just how awesome this show is. True Blood is a lot of fun but for my money we Brits here in Bristol (though now Cardiff for series 3...Boo!) have the superior show. It may not have the budget or gloss of True Blood but the writing to my mind is sharper, more focussed, more considered and a lot more meaningful. It is also primarily a character driven show whereas True Blood is mostly plot and incident driven, possibly suffering somewhat from too many characters and disparate story threads. For instance, in True Blood I like Lafayette but I wasn't remotely interested in his story this year nor really in the story of Sam and his family. In contrast, the beauty of Being Human is that the focus of the show is always on the three main characters: Annie the ghost, Mitchell the vampire and George the werewolf, and on their simple desire and struggle to have a quiet ordinary life. Being Human takes the trials and tribulations of real everyday life and gives them a supernatural twist. But it remains always utterly relatable. The point of the show is in its title. It acts as a mirror and an ode to what being human on a day to day level means. It's pretty much what Joss did with Buffy and why that show still works and resonates so well. Oh yeah, it also doesn't hurt that Being Human's main bad guy Herrick is simply one of THE best vampire villains ever. Jason Watkins rules! Plus the werewolves in Being Human are waaay better than the ones in True Blood.

In the end True Blood and Being Human are very different shows doing different things with the supernatural. And I appreciate them both. Though, for me, Being Human is the superior entity as it manages to do so much more with a lot less. Plus its local to me so I'm bias.

Kalix is back!

Curse of the Wolf Girl by Martin Millar (2010)

Curse of the Wolf Girl is Scottish author Martin Millar’s brand new sequel to his brilliant 2007 novel Lonely Werewolf Girl. As posted on my blog back in January, Lonely Werewolf Girl was my favourite book I read in 2009. It did everything exactly right. The characters, story, tone and mood, and most of all the humour were all utterly perfect. I’ve never laughed out loud so much while reading a book as I did with Lonely Werewolf Girl.

SPOILER ALERT!!!

Curse of the Wolf Girl follows on several weeks after the momentous events of the previous novel. The epic struggle that reached from the highlands of Scotland to the streets of London to determine the next Thane of the MacRinalch werewolf clan is now over having culminated at the end of LWG in a bloody battle at the Yum Yum Sugary Snacks gig, the punk band fronted by rebellious werewolf twins Beauty and Delicious. Relative peace and harmony has been restored to werewolf life. But it doesn’t last for long. There’s a resurgence of the Avanaris Guild – human werewolf hunters dedicated to hunting and killing as many werewolves as they can. And the remaining allies of slain Thane contender Sarapen MacRinalch are back in town and looking for bloody revenge - mostly against Sarapen's teenage sister, the antisocial, psychologically messed up Kalix who killed her brother in the heat of battle.

However these major plot threads are only two of many that are all drawn gradually and inexorably together by book’s end.

We also have Kalix’s mother, Verasa, Mistress of the Werewolves, and her attempt to arrange a big charity opera event at one of the MacRinalch’s Scottish estates. Verasa ropes in her oldest daughter, the reluctant sorceress werewolf and fashion designer Thrix MacRinalch, to help get a famous Italian opera star to sing at the event. At the same time, Thrix is struggling with a rapidly failing business and is also being distracted by a new suitor who seems far too good to be true. Luckily for Thrix, her friend and client, Malveria, Fire Queen of the Hiyasta, volunteers to help her out on the opera front. But Malveria has major problems of her own brewing in the form of a complex conspiracy to overthrow her reign back home. Meanwhile, Kalix and her friend Vex - the innocent and always cheerful teenage niece of Malveria - are struggling in their attempts to attend human college and to contribute money to the flat they share with human students Daniel and Moonglow. And then there’s the beautiful but ice-cold white-haired werewolf Dominil MacRinalch. Dominil is still fighting to successfully manage her cousins Beauty and Delicious’s band Yum Yum Sugary Snacks, with her fight being mostly against the twins never ending partying and lack of focus, but also against the unwanted attentions of Yum Yum Sugary Snacks’ amorous guitarist who's developed a major crush on her. Plus Dominil seems to have gained herself a psychotic stalker too – a face from her past who was once rejected by her and who is now bent on revenge. As if all of that wasn't enough there's also a murder that puts Kalix on the warpath to find the killer, a curse that keeps Daniel and Moonglow from getting together romantically, the constant threat of bailiffs at the flat they share with Kalix and Vex, the romantic troubles of the new Thane Markus MacRinalch, and Thrix's search for an illusive fashion blogger who can help save her business. Add in the romantic pursuit of Kalix by another young werewolf and you get one hugely plot heavy story. Whew!

It is to Millar’s major credit then that all of these many varied threads are so expertly woven together by books end.

But, to be honest, I could have done without some of them in order to be able to focus a little bit more on a little bit less.

Millar writes in very short chapters. Most are just a couple of pages in length with some being as short as only a couple of paragraphs with the action flying between multiple characters, story lines and locales. It flits about so much that it can get quite dizzying and a tiny bit frustrating in places. There are a lot of characters in this book doing a lot of things, perhaps too many things for just one book. As a result I felt that some of the characters suffered somewhat. Don’t get me wrong, I love them all – especially Kalix, Vex and Malveria. But here they just didn’t have quite the same level of offbeat flourish that they had in Lonely Werewolf Girl. For instance, one of the things I loved most about Kalix was that she was obsessed by 70's all-girl rock band The Runaways and longed for Joan Jett to be her real mother. This is entirely missing from Curse of the Wolf Girl. There is no mention of The Runaways at all, though Kalix’s laudanum addiction remains as does her depression, anxiety and self-harming. It's a shame as her Runaways obsession gave a really sweet side to her often dark, violent and antisocial nature. Vex, however, is mostly as she was before - a cute, goofy, innocent teenage fire elemental who just wants to cheer people up, buy weird clothes and boots, listen to music and watch cartoons. Vex is such a loveable character. You can’t help but smile and laugh when reading her. She is just so enthusiastic and naïve and clumsy. And she is also fiercely loyal to Kalix despite the pair being like chalk and cheese with the moody and sullen young werewolf not always being deserving of that loyalty. It is this odd and unlikely friendship that is the heart of the book. Despite Kalix often finding Vex annoying, she eventually discovers that the young fire elemental really does have her best interests at heart. And by books end it is Vex who has truly proven herself to be a hero, to be selfless and brave, if not always wittingly so. She proves herself to be more than what others ever thought she could be - Kalix and Malveria especially. Yes, by the end of the tale even 'Aunt Malvie' finally sees that her 'dismal niece' is deserving of some new-found respect.

I mentioned earlier about there being less of a flourish to this book than there was to Lonely Werewolf Girl. This extends to the humour too. Lonely Werewolf Girl was a book where I laughed out loud almost every page. There were character beats and obscure, off kilter moments and hilarious lines of dialogue that just killed me. There was less of that here. That’s not to say CotWG isn’t still very funny and home to lots of great and funny lines and moments, because it is. Just not as many as with LWG. For me, much of the laugh-out-loud humour in LWG came from Malveria and her emotional outbursts, her verbal sparring with Vex and just some of the bizarre things she’d come out with. She didn’t quite reach the same highs here. But she remains a brilliant character and we do get to see her in proper full-on sword wielding, dragon slaying warrior queen mode.

In the end, Curse of the Wolf Girl is an excellent and most entertaining follow up to Lonely Werewolf Girl even if it doesn't quite reach the giddy heights of utter brilliance that its predecessor managed. But even if it isn't quite as awesome as LWG, Curse of the Wolf Girl is still pretty damn great and Martin Millar has certainly not lost the knack for writing wonderfully weird outsider characters, complex plots, laugh out loud lines and strong, compelling action. The universe he has created in these two books is odd, epic, and always fascinating, especially when underpinned by his gritty witty punk attitude and the Buffyesque mixing of the humour and humdrum of everyday life with crazy, bloody supernatural thrills and spills. By books end there's a few new surprises and a few avenues left to be further explored. I pray that Millar is both willing and able to continue telling the tales of Kalix and co. as there is still so much life left in these characters who are some of the best and most fun I've ever had the pleasure to meet on the page. 4.5/5

Link to my review of Lonely Werewolf Girl.

Wolfman's got nards!

I saw The Wolfman last night.

Now, being the major werewolf geek that I am I was really looking forward to this and hoping that, despite the delays and reshoots and dodgy reviews, it wasn’t going to suck.

Guess what? It doesn’t suck.

Despite what some sniffy reviewers will tell you The Wolfman is a fine slice of gothic monster movie mayhem. I enjoyed it a fair bit. Okay, so it's far from a perfect film - you can see the joins where scripts have been cut and pasted together and chunks sliced out - but I did have a howling good time with its camp, gory goofiness. I loved the look of the film with the design and photography being wonderfully gothic and moody and the Rick Baker make-up as excellent as expected. The acting ranged from okay with Del Toro a bit dull when human but great when hairy, to very entertaining in Hugo Weaving to the 'I don't care cuz she's lovely' Emily Blunt. Hopkins is okay as daddy Talbot but seems to be a teensy bit bored by it all. But at least he isn’t overacting. A special shout out to Hugo Weaving as Inspector Abberline who once again reminds us just why he’s such a cool actor. His scene in the pub where he orders a beer and patiently explains to the landlady why he isn’t out hunting the killer is hilarious. Definitely channelling Agent Smith there. Apart from Agent Smith and its overall look, the best stuff in the film are the wolfman rampages - especially the first one in the gypsy camp. That was a truly great sequence where the beast is so fast and mostly in shadow and yet causes so much bloody mayhem.

So what about the actual story?

The Wolfman (2010) bares minimal resemblance to the original 1941 Universal classic with only character names and the basic set-up of estranged son returning home being the same. The new story is fine and adds a bit more depth than the original even if the resulting plot twists are fairly predictable. The pacing is good and nicely swift. Following a very obvious three-act structure, the film whips along at quite a pace with dialogue and character building being sparse so as to quickly get to the…er…guts of the story. Tonally The Wolfman takes itself seriously while also enjoying piling on the lurid bloodletting, flesh rending and limb lopping - all of which is very cool and just how a proper monster movie should be.

Now I gotta say that watching The Wolfman I wasn’t so much reminded of an old Universal horror as I was of a Hammer horror. For despite its serious tone there is also a rather camp feel to the film with its hirsute beasty climbing walls and buildings, leaping around and menacing English yokels who hang out in old taverns and race carriages through dark woods. That combined with the gleeful goofy bloodiness and Del Toro’s admitted homage to the late great Oliver Reed by sporting his haircut from Curse of the Werewolf, The Wolfman, to me, works better as a modern ode to the best of British Hammer. If only there was some heaving lady cleavage then the effect would be complete. Another good point to note is Danny Elfman’s score. It’s probably the best thing he’s done in ages. It is big and dramatic with some nice themes, the main one sounding a lot like the great main theme from Coppola’s Dracula, which helps sell the films grand gothic feel.

Anything I didn’t like? Yep, the use of CGI. The CGI transformation looks exactly how you’d expect a CGI one to look – it looks fake and cartoony. Some people will defend this. I won’t. I just don’t like it. Period. It looks exactly like what it is – computer graphics. However it could have been worse, it could have been Van Helsing. Ugh! And once Del Toro is in full on wolf mode then the CGI (mostly) goes and you get great Baker make-up and some nicely savage gore.

So, in summary, I enjoyed The Wolfman a great deal. It’s a fun ride with a few nice jump scares and a great gloomy gothic look. It zips along while revelling in its gory monster mayhem. It’s not perfect and is not the classic that the original is or comes anywhere near challenging the best werewolf movies for genre supremacy. But for a fun, bloody, gothic romp you could do a whole lot worse.



"Wolfman's got nards" quote courtesy The Monster Squad (1987) AROOOOOOOOO!

Being Human, Being Brilliant!

Being Human: Series 2

The awesome supernatural house-share drama and my favourite TV show of last year returned for series 2 last night. A vampire called Mitchell, a ghost called Annie and a werewolf called George all live together in a shared rented house in Bristol and together gain mutual support in circumventing their supernatural natures so as to live like normal regular everyday people, to just be…well…human.

After the battle against the vampire revolution and the defeat of vampire leader Herrick at the end of the last series, only a short time has now passed. About a month to be precise. And there is fallout to deal with including the exact lycanthropic status of werewolf George’s girlfriend Nina and the power vacuum amongst the remaining vampires after Herrick’s death. Plus there is a group of humans doing nasty secret experiments on supernaturals, one of which results in the particularly gruesome death of a werewolf in a hyperbolic chamber. And then there's the arrival of two new vampires in town with their own weird agendas. They are a married couple of which the husband seems to want to taunt and torture Mitchell and George for Herrick’s death while his wife apparently just wants to make dirty vampire/werewolf sex with George while also looking to kill off any living remnants from her human past. Yep, the stage seems set for a very interesting and hopefully bizarre new series of Being Human.

This first episode was great. It did a very good job reintroducing the characters and setting up ideas and threats for the new series. The main focus of the story was about Nina, George’s spiky nurse girlfriend who he accidentally scratched in the last episode of series one. It was about her fear that she is now a werewolf too and how she'd deal if she is one, and how George would deal with being the one to have cursed her. The episode was also about the three main characters looking for new meaning and purpose in their lives. Annie the ghost has become more confident and less afraid. As such she’s now visible to everyone and almost 100% corporeal when she wants to be. So much so that she goes and gets herself a job as a barmaid in a local pub. It’s a crazy idea - a ghost getting a job. But it is very funny and Lenora Crichlow as Annie is so sweet and charming that you just go with it. Her excitement over finding a new lease of life in death is infectious. Meanwhile Mitchell the vampire makes a connection with a new female member of staff at the hospital where he works in a cute scene involving pet goldfish. And then there is George the werewolf. Previously, George was very ordered and reticent about life in general as well as hateful of the monster he'd been turned in to. But now he seems to have embraced his werewolf nature despite still protesting how much he hates it. Those protestations sounded a little hollow with his temperament appearing rather arrogant, cold and aggressive. He even went and got jiggy with the naughty vampire lady…something he’d never have done before. But then I guess it was the night before the full moon.

Writer/creator Toby Whithouse provided another great character based/led script that was as rich in human themes as it was in fantasy plot and horrific incident. The characters were all great and the dialogue funny, sharp and meaningful. Toby can write great lines just as well as any top US writer. I especially loved his little nod to Buffy when Annie, trying to console Nina over her fears of being a werewolf, said: “There was a werewolf in Buffy called Nina.” Nina replied that she never watched it. Annie then said: “Yeah, well, I stopped watching it when I started living it.” Great! Although being a Buffy geek I have to point out that Nina the werewolf was actually in season five of Angel and not in Buffy at all. But appreciated all the same Toby :D

And talking of werewolves…the beasties in series 2 look even better than they did last year with the transformations still up to the same high standards. Very creepy in An American Werewolf in London style. Wicked!

All in all a great start to (hopefully) a great second series. Bring on episode 2 already.

Two strangers arrive…

Lonely Werewolf Girl

I’ve just finished reading Lonely Werewolf Girl, an off beat, very funny, hugely entertaining book by Scottish author Martin Millar.

This is a most excellent novel. It’s a darkly humorous tale with a strong story and a big cast of characters who are just so much fun to follow through its five hundred and twenty pages. These people feel fully rounded with their own distinctive voices and attitudes and complex sets of problems and issues. The tone, for the most part, is darkly humorous with monsters, magic, mayhem, horror and violence mixed in with the normal everyday of work, study, failed romance, endless mugs of tea, going to gigs, going to the pub, watching cable TV, listening to and talking about music. The book feels leftfield and more than a little punk in attitude with non-conformist outsider characters that end up coming together in uneasy, difficult yet ultimately beneficial relationships. It is also, quite simply, very, very funny. I laughed out loud a lot while reading Lonely Werewolf Girl. As a total coincidence I found out after the fact that author Martin Millar is a massive Buffy geek…just like me. And Lonely Werewolf Girl does have a bit of that Buffy vibe about it – the tonal shifts in the mix of action, then quirky/dry humour, then horror, then emotional drama and often all in the space of the same scene and always with an underlying theme. But it’s not a copy or homage to the Bufster. It is most definitely its own thing with its own voice. And a mighty fine voice it is too.

The central plot hinges on a family power struggle as to who will be the next Thane of the Scottish MacRinnalch werewolf clan - basically becoming leader of all werewolves in the world. The eldest son, Sarapen MacRinnalch, thinks the title is his by right, whilst his mother, Verasa, will do whatever she can to make Markus, her younger, favoured son, the new Thane…even if it means a bloody civil war. Votes are needed at the clan council to secure the victor, to secure the new Thane legally. However, things are at a stalemate as the three members of the clan with the likely deciding votes are not around to cast them. Two of the three being the young rebellious twins Beauty and Delicious who are living a drunken hedonistic life in London while half-heartedly trying to become rock stars. The third voter is Sarapen and Markus's youngest sister, seventeen year old Kalix. Kalix, the titular Lonely Werewolf Girl, ran away from Castle MacRinnalch several months prior after attacking her father and indirectly causing his later death. Poor Kalix is a deeply troubled girl. Living rough in London, she’s lost and alone and can barely read a few words or write her own name. She suffers from extreme depression and anxiety while also being addicted to laudanum. Despite continually running away from everything and everyone, events soon conspire to throw Kalix together with two kind-hearted young students whom, by taking pity of her, become unwittingly embroiled in the complex and deadly werewolf world. And big bad Sarapen’s forces are on the move in London and Scotland. He's determined to eliminate any and all obstacles to his becoming Thane. And young Kalix is right at the top of the list.

It has to be said that Kalix is a brilliant character. The best I’ve read in a long time. You can’t help but feel for her and just want her to be happy. She lives her life on the streets, ostracised by her family, swinging from extreme anxiety to extreme depression with substance abuse (mostly laudanum) and self-harm being her main ways of handling things. She is also affectingly innocent in her ways with a very sweet, longstanding obsession with the 1970’s girl group The Runaways. Kalix believes them to be the greatest thing ever and longs for Joan Jett to be her real mother. Later on she also develops an addiction to Sabrina the Teenage Witch but can’t understand why such a great show isn’t on the TV all the time and why they keep repeating the same episodes when there should be an endless supply of new ones. Yet, despite her problems and naivety, Kalix is a ferocious and powerful fighter who, when the battle madness takes her, can tear apart other werewolves and werewolf hunters more than twice her size as if they were nothing.

A couple of funny quotes from the brilliantly hilarious, fashion obsessed Malveria, the powerful Fire Queen from another dimension:

"Their blood-soaked bodies are no doubt strewn about downstairs at this moment!" cried Malveria. "If we hurry we may save the shoes!"

"That is it. Cricket. Apparently the rules of this game are most puzzling and complex. Daniel tried to explain these rules to Vex. As a consequence of this I understand she almost lost consciousness, and had to be helped to a chair, in a very poor state of mind. It was some time before she could summon enough energy to return to her own dimension. She has subsequently refused to leave her room, and has only her favourite cuddly toy for comfort."


Bottom line: this is a great book by a gifted writer who can weave a big, complex tale with a myriad of distinct and interesting characters while juggling drama, action and humour exactly right. So if you like urban fantasy/horror with a smart, blackly hilarious and counter culture feel, then you should love this book. Martin Millar is currently working on the sequel tentatively titled Queen Vex and due out late 2010. And a Lonely Werewolf Girl movie is apparently in the works too.