Buffy: 3.9 ‘The Wish’

Short trailer for the episode.

Writer: Marti Noxon
Director: David Greenwalt

What's the sitch?

Cordelia is back at school post-injury and is blanking Xander while looking to get back in with her previous crowd of Harmony and co. However this doesn’t work out as the bitchy girls are intent on making fun of and humiliating Cordy for her relationship with Xander whenever possible. Cordy’s only silver lining is new girl Anya who strikes up a friendship with her but seems oddly obsessed with trying to get Cordy to make a wish that will harm Xander. Inadvertently Cordy does just that…by wishing that Buffy Summers never came to Sunnydale. And seeing as how Anya is really Anyanka, a vengeance demon who grants wishes to romantically wronged women, Cordy is instantly transported in to an alternate reality where Buffy never did come to town and so the Master did rise and the vampires now pretty much run things. And in this reality Xander and Willow are both vampires, Angel is a prisoner who is regularly tortured by Willow for fun (the ‘puppy’) and Giles leads a small band of ever dwindling resistance. Cordy tries to explain to Giles what has happened but before she can tell the full story she falls victim to evil Willow. It is left to Giles to try and work things out and to try and contact the elusive Buffy Summers and convince her to come to Sunnydale and help put things right.

What's the sitch beneath the sitch?

Be careful what you wish for. No great metaphor or allegory here but the theme is a classic one of being mindful of what you have as the alternative could always be much, much worse. It’s basically ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ Buffy style.

Who's giving us the wiggins this week?

Anyanka, The Master, vampires Willow and Xander.

Why it rocks

A new world. Yay! It’s alternate reality time. Almost all of the great genre shows get to do at least one of these with possibly Star Trek being the most famous with the Mirror Universe tales. Alternate realities allow writers to let rip and have fun by pretty much doing anything with the characters they can dream of. So here, in Buffy, we get a beaten down and emasculated Angel, gloriously evil and sexually provocative vampires Xander and Willow, and a cynical and battle scarred (literally) Buffy who is almost exactly the same as Faith is in ‘real’ reality.

The script. Writer Marti Noxon does a great job with the script and even pulls a Psycho on us leading us to believe that Cordy will be the central character of the piece. She isn’t. Twenty minutes in and its curtains for Cordy. Essentially Giles is the hero here. He puts things together and ultimately saves the day.

The plan. The Master’s diabolical plot of mass production of blood by factory farming humans is horrible and when the first victim is electronically stunned like a cow to slaughter then placed on the machine and automatically bled to death you can’t help but get a chill. Nasty stuff.

Battle scarred Buffy. SMG is great. She doesn’t say much but when she does it sounds very Faith-like. She just wants to kick ass and has no time for teamwork or plans. It’s also great seeing how she barely even notices when Angel gets staked or when Willow and Xander do as well. It’s quite a jarring moment…as is what happens to her at the hands of The Master.

Anya/Anyanka. Emma Caulfield makes a creepy/fun first impression as vengeance demon Anyanka. She doesn’t have that much to do here but luckily the producers saw in her much potential and kept her on in a recurring guest role where she soon blossomed and became one of the very best and funniest characters in the entire seven year run of the series.

Vampire Willow. Not to be confused with Dark Willow (black eyed, raging magic girl from season 6), Vampire Willow became an instantly iconic character. Alyson Hannigan is simply brilliant and is clearly having way too much fun playing the deliciously cruel, slinky, S&M wearing deviant vampire version of Willow. Her line of “Bored Now” first delivered in this episode became the much-loved catch phrase for Willow whenever she was in evil (Vamp or Dark) mode. Oh, and her creepy, sexy torturing of Angel is a twisted highlight of this episode and of the whole season. And things only got better further in to this season when Joss brought the character back for his utterly brilliant and wondrously classic episode ‘Doppelgangland’.

Why it sucks

As with most stories of this type everything gets resolved happily at the end with nobody knowing what happened and everything back to how it should be. This kinda negates the weight of what came before. But that’s just how these things work and isn’t a major issue.

In the alternate reality I’d have liked to have known why Buffy never went to Sunnydale and why she seemed to end up in Cleveland instead. And also how come she’s so Faith-like. Surely it can’t just be because she never met Giles, Willow and Xander. Is her mom still around? It doesn’t seem like it.

It's Buftastic

The great fight scene shot from ground level as Giles lays on the ground while a mysterious saviour kills a bunch of nasty vamps he’s been trying to fend off. We only see legs and people flying to the ground and off-camera sound effects of fighting and dusting. Of course it is eventually revealed to be Buffy having arrived in the nick of time to save this watcher she doesn’t know.

Dialogue to die for

Willow: “Isn't he gonna poof?”
Buffy: “I guess these guys don't. We'll have to bury him or something. Ohh, makes you appreciate vamps, though. No fuss, no muss.”

Xander: “And they burst in, rescuing us, without even knocking? I mean, this is really all their fault.”
Buffy: “Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.”
Xander: “Mine is much more advanced.”

Buffy: “I don't play well with others. Now, I'm gonna ask you this once, and then I'm gonna get testy.”

Vampire Willow: “Bored now.”

And another thing

We see Cordelia's bedroom for the first time in this episode.

This is Emma (Anya) Caulfield’s first appearance on Buffy. She will stay on as a recurring guest star and eventually become a regular cast member with her name in the opening credits from season 5.

How many stakes?

There is no alternative. 4 (out of 5)

Buffy: 2.16 ‘Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered.’

Buffy wants to make Xander her cuddle monkey.


Writer: Marti Noxon
Director: James A. Contner

What's the sitch?

Valentines Day comes to Sunnydale and Xander is feeling all romantic towards Cordy, buying her a lovely necklace and telling her how he feels about her. Unfortunately, feeling insecure and ostracised by her former friends, Cordy decides to dump Xander right after his gift giving. This royally ticks Xander off. And after noticing that Amy Madison from season one’s ‘Witch’ is now working some magic mojo of her own, Xander blackmails her in to casting a love spell over Cordy so she’ll want him back…only so he can then dump her himself and break her heart. But the spell goes wrong, and while Cordy remains immune, every other woman in Sunnydale (including Buffy, Willow, Buffy’s mom and even Drusilla) is now lusting after the Xan-man, the spell setting them all at each others throats and on an insane lovefest rampage.

What's the sitch beneath the sitch?

Not really anything deep here other than the emotional hell of high school and teen hormones running amok. This ep is simply a silly, frothy, very, very funny romp. Just sit back and giggle.

Who's giving us the wiggins this week?

Every woman in Sunnydale minus Cordy.

Why it rocks

Brilliant stuff! ‘Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered’ is just enormous fun and laugh out loud funny. This is a Xander comedy episode. And they are always something to look forward to. Nicky Brendon is a consummate comic performer. His timing and instincts are virtually flawless and he gets to have a great time here as the terrified object of lust by every crazed female in town.

Major kudos to Marti Noxon who wrote the funny as anything script and to the game cast for going that extra comic mile – especially Sarah who gets to, ahem, ‘vamp’ it up something rotten as slinky, sexy Buffy.

And speaking of sexy Buffy… The seduction scene with her wearing nothing but a very short mackintosh which she wants Xander to “unwrap” is the culmination of many a young late 90’s boy’s dream. She does look mighty cute. But then Amy goes and ruins things by turning Buffy in to a rat. Boo!

Oz and Giles searching for “Buffy-rat”.

Xander’s classic slow motion journey down the school’s main corridor as girls swoon and guys glare while Average White Band’s song ‘Got the Love’ plays in the background.

Oz punching Xander out because Willow spent all night on the phone crying to him about Xander.

Oz finding naked Buffy in the basement.

Why it sucks

Nothing sucks here. It’s just a lot of daft fun.

It's Buftastic

Buffy in THAT coat.

Dialogue to die for

Xander: Well, this is new territory for me. I mean, my valentines are usually met with heartfelt restraining orders.

Oz (after sparking Xander out): I was on the phone all night, listening to Willow cry about you. Now, I don't know exactly what happened, but I was left with a very strong urge to... hit you.

Buffy: I seem to be having a slight case of nudity here.
Oz: But you're not a rat. So call it an upside.

Xander: It's time for me to act like a man... and hide!

Xander: I wish dating was like slaying. You know, simple, direct, stake through the heart, no muss, no fuss.

And another thing

Oz's band, Dingoes Ate My Baby, perform on stage for the first time since their first appearance in ‘Inca Mummy Girl’.

Amy calls upon the goddess Diana as "goddess of love and the hunt," but in fact Diana was the Roman goddess of nature, fertility and childbirth. She is closely associated with the Greek goddess Artemis, who was goddess of the hunt, since both were goddesses of the moon as well. However, neither was the goddess of love (that was Aphrodite in the Greek pantheon, and Venus in the Roman).

How many stakes?

It’s a love thang. 4.5 (out of 5)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 2, Episode 2, ‘Some Assembly Required’

The moisturiser ain't working for him.

Writer: Ty King
Director: Bruce Seth Green

What's the sitch?
While on patrol, Buffy discovers the robbed grave of a recently deceased teenage girl. That same night, Cordelia and Angel discover discarded body parts of various other recently deceased girls. However some of the parts are missing leading the gang to believe that someone at Sunnydale High is pulling a Dr Frankenstein by trying to build a whole new girl from the dead parts of others. Meanwhile, misguided student Chris and his nasty science nerd friend Eric, who together are making this patchwork girl for Chris’s recently back from the dead brother Daryl, are looking for the perfect head for their Bride of Frankenstein. The only problem being said head can’t come from a corpse. It needs to be fresh. It needs to be taken from someone while they are still alive. And that someone looks like being Cordelia Chase...

What's the sitch beneath the sitch?
This is about relationships and about wanting to have someone to be with, to not be alone. Zombie Daryl wants a living dead girl of his own so that he won’t be alone. Meanwhile, Buffy is struggling with her relationship with Angel, Giles is trying to get together with Ms Calendar and Xander and Willow are complaining about being uncoupled and alone. The episode is also about the objectification of women, a theme that repeats throughout Buffy. Eric is a vile little critter who only sees women as objects to be used and abused as he sees fit. He gets off on it. He’s like a proto-Warren from seasons 5 and 6. Also present is what will be another recurring theme of the show: people dealing with loss and attempting to bring back loved ones that have died.

Who's giving us the wiggins this week?
Nasty Eric and zombiefied Daryl.

Why it rocks
1. Teenage Frankenstein. It’s a good, solid story and a fun and creepy riff on Frankenstein.
2. Someone to love. It works thematically being all about relationships and not wanting to be alone.
3. It’s gross! The concept and its execution is pretty yucky. And I mean that in a good way. The half-built dead girl glimpsed in portions along with some discarded body parts is rather unpleasant…just as it should be.
4. Giles and Jenny sitting in a tree… Giles’s jittery courtship of Ms Calendar is funny and cute and gives Xander and Buffy plenty of opportunity to poke fun at him.
5. Daryl and Chris’s mum, Mrs Epps, being so wrapped up in her obsessive grief about Daryl’s death is possibly the creepiest thing about this episode.

Why it sucks
1. Though creepy and icky, neither Chris, Eric or zombie Daryl pose too much of a threat to Buffy. And Chris never seems keen on what he’s doing anyway so you wonder how he got this far.
2. Cordy is in peril once again. Yawn! Plus she gets to act in that traditional horror movie girl in peril role i.e. doing stupid stuff and screaming a lot. Exactly the kind of thing Buffy was supposed to subvert.
3. It is a blatant use of Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein and despite some great dialogue and the solid thematic base it doesn’t really excite all that much.

It's Buftastic
Giles is in the library nervously practising his lines to ask Jenny out…and then Buffy and Xander make a sudden and embarrassing entrance.

Dialogue to die for
Buffy: (to Xander after he asks for hers and Willow’s help in digging up a grave) “Sorry, but I'm an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.”

Cordelia: (sarcastically) “Darn, I have cheerleader practice tonight. Boy, I wish I knew you were gonna be digging up dead people sooner. I would've cancelled.”

Buffy: “Love makes you do the wacky.”

Buffy: [giving Giles advice on his pick up lines] “You also might want to avoid words like 'amenable' and 'indecorous', you know? Speak English, not whatever they speak in, uh... “
Giles: “England?”
Buffy: “Yeah.”

And another thing
This episode sees the first use of the Buffy/Angel theme by Christophe Beck, a piece of music that will become known as ‘Close Your Eyes’ by seasons end.

How many stakes?
“SHE’S ALIVE! SHE’S ALIVE!” 3 (out of 5)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 1, Episode 11 'Out of Mind, Out of Sight'

Marcie doing her Marty McFly impression

Writers: Ashley Gable & Thomas A Swyden (story by Joss Whedon)
Director: Reza Badiyi

What's the sitch?
An invisible force starts attacking people at Sunnydale High: a baseball bat beating, a push down the stairs, a teacher with a plastic bag over the head. At first the gang think a ghost is responsible. But graffiti that turns up near the attack scenes seem to indicate something non-ghostly. Eventually Buffy discovers that a student who nobody remembers called Marcie Ross is the one responsible for the violence. Giles deduces that being ignored by everyone at school and treated as an outsider is what caused Marcie to turn properly invisible and then sent her in to a vengeful fury to punish all those she blames for making her that way.

What's the sitch beneath the sitch?
This is about popularity, fitting in, belonging. And it's about the loneliness, anger and resentment felt by all those left out in the cold.

Who's giving us the wiggins this week?
Marcie Ross: homicidal invisible girl.

Why it rocks
1. The pain of being lonely. It's a worthy metaphor that many can relate to. Being lonely, being ignored, being an outsider and the anger that comes from feeling that way, from feeling that you don't count.

2. Cordy is human. We get to see and hear about the real Cordelia Chase, about her insecurities and why she is how she is.

3. The end. This episode has possibly the best ending of the season as invisible Marcie takes her place in a class room with other invisible kids in a secret government facility to learn assasination skills.

Why it sucks
1. Despite being invisible, Marcie isn't really much of a threat to Buffy. But she does manage to land a few good thumps.

2. Sadly, because Marcie is invisible we don't actually get to see much of Clea DuVall who plays her except in a few brief flashbacks. But she's very good when we do see her.

3. The idea's a good one but the overall story is rather weak and the episode as a whole pretty unmemorable.

4. The boys playing the jocks at the start are terrible actors. Plus they look about thirty.

It's Buftastic
Buffy has to concentrate and use only her amped up slayer hearing to land a hefty whack on Marcie.

Dialogue to die for
Buffy (to Marcie): “You're a thundering loony!”

Giles: "Once again I teeter at the precipice of the generation gap."

And another thing
Clea DuVall who plays Marcie went on to make a name for herself in movies such as Girl, Interrupted, The Faculty and Ghosts of Mars, as well as on TV in the excellent but short lived Carnivale and then later in Heroes.

How many stakes?
I can see right through it. 2 (out of 5)

It's Whedon brilliant!

I've now bought and devoured SFX magazine's Joss Whedon special where they review every single episode of television he's produced. And may I say what a great job SFX have done with this double issue ode to the man many geeks call god. It's utterly comprehensive and full of new interviews and mucho other cool stuff. If you are at all a fan of the man then I highly recommend you rush out and purchase it asap.

However, after an online conversation with a fellow Whedonite, as well as not agreeing with the SFX opinion on some of the Buffy eps, I've decided to undertake my own little episode guide/review for all seven years of slayage. Okay, so maybe it's just an excuse to break out the DVD's and rewatch them again right from the start, but what can I say? I'm a sucker for the Slayer. And after I'm done with the Bufmeister I may then carry on to Angel and Firefly if the excitement still has me. And if I haven't found anything more meaningful to do with my time.

Anyway, back to Buff. Here's the format for the guide:

- Episode number and title
- Writer
- Director
- What's the sitch? (basic plot outline)
- What's the sitch beneath the sitch? (episode metaphor)
- Who's giving us the wiggins this week? (episode villain(s))
- Why it rocks (what's really good about the episode)
- Why it sucks (what's not so good about the episode)
- It's Buftastic (single best moment of the episode)
- Dialogue to die for (best line in the episode)
- And another thing (any other points of note)
- How many stakes? (an overall episode rating out of five)

I'll post individual episodes as and when I rewatch them and amongst the rest of the usual rubbish I put on here.

So lets get cracking.

The time: early 1997. The place: the seemingly quiet and unassuming town of Sunnydale, California.

However looks can be deceiving. For Sunnydale lies smack bang on top of a hellmouth, a mystical convergence attracting all sorts of dark and dangerous forces to it, forces that threaten the world and could even bring about an apocalypse or two. But luckily for us a very special teenage girl is about to arrive in town. And although she doesn't want to, she'll be forced to battle the forces of darkness and keep a lid on all things hellmouthy while trying to have some kind of a normal life.

So grab yourself an extra pointy stake and prepare for a major case of the wiggins cuz things are gonna get freaky.