NICE ONE DANNY, TRULY AN OLYMPIC EFFORT

London 2012 Opening Ceremony Music – ‘And I Will Kiss’ by Underworld (ft. Dame Evelyn Glennie)

Okay, I’m not a sports fan but I am a big fan of Danny Boyle, just like most people who enjoy great movies are. He has a unique vision of storytelling, often kinda queasy, kinda dark, kinda colourful, kinda weird, kinda subtly moving and subtly amusing at the same time, and always with tons of energy. He tells stories on film unlike anyone else. I mean, could anyone else have made Slumdog Millionaire the fantastic movie that it is? Could anyone else have made Trainspotting like that? Or 127 Hours? I don’t think so. He has a way of getting in to deep dark places and finding the bright light of humanity buried there. But when I heard he was going to be behind the opening ceremony for London 2012 I was conflicted.

On the one hand I thought it was a genius idea. Here’s a guy with a vibrant and unique vision of the world. He could do something truly different, truly mesmerising. Something no one else could ever do. On the other hand, it could easily end up as a jumbled unfocussed, garish mess. The London 2012 opening ceremony was either gonna be one of the coolest things I’ll ever see or one of the most embarrassing messes in entertainment history.

But Danny only went and did it, by gum!

What a truly dazzling, energised, engrossing, and just plain fun spectacle it was. Big and colourful, often chaotic, sometimes dark, sometimes emotional and always all kinds of eccentric, not to mention pleasingly humorous. In short, this particular Olympics opening ceremony was very, very British.

The themes I picked out were perfect. Change, innovation, creativity and caring. The main thread running through it all seemed to be about how, through innovation, we, the British, have irrevocably changed our nation and the rest of the world on at least two occasions. First there was the industrial revolution, and then there was the invention of the worldwide web, with all the good and ill that came with both. But above all the show was about who we are as a people. What it is we hold most precious, what it is we value above all. Danny Boyle seems to think it is our social reforms. And I would agree. All of those many great reforms that were so hard fought for down through the ages in order to try to build that promised mythic Jerusalem, with the most obvious as highlighted in the ceremony being our National Health Service. Now, of course, our NHS is not perfect. We’re not stupid. We know that. It has lots of problems. Things that need fixing. But that doesn’t mean that the idea itself, the belief is wrong. Universal healthcare free at the point of use with the provision of treatment based upon clinical need. No, it is not wrong at all. And as an idea, a belief, it deserves to be celebrated.

“…no society can legitimately call itself civilised if a sick person is denied medical aid because of lack of means.”

- Nye Bevan, the Government Minister who oversaw the NHS’s creation in 1948


The rest of the world may not have understood why the NHS played such a big part in the Olympics Opening Ceremony. I do. It is the prime example of those social reforms Danny was keen to celebrate. Reforms based upon beliefs which help define how we see ourselves as a people. Yes, the United Kingdom remains a capitalist society – stalwarts of hard headed international trade and business and finance. But the British have always had a strong sense of social justice too - from William Wilberforce and the slavery abolitionists, to Dickens to Emily Pankhurst and the suffragettes, to the foundation of the modern welfare state and the creation of the NHS in 1948. Such a wonderful dichotomy, I know. But I got what Danny was doing. And he did it brilliantly.

Here are some of my favourite bits from the show:

The entirety of the opening ‘Pandemonium’ sequence with Kenneth Branagh as Brunel

JK Rowling reading from Peter Pan

The many Mary Poppins’ flying down to defend the kids in the hospital beds against the monsters

The spelling out of NHS

James Bond and the Queen and the blatant The Spy Who Loved Me homage

Pretty Vacant

Fire Starter

Tim Burners Lee “For Everyone”

The amazing design of the cauldron when finally revealed. A real ‘WOW’ moment.

Sir Paul McCartney leading the crowd with Hey Jude. He wasn’t in his best voice but you can’t go wrong with THAT song.

In the end, Danny Boyle and his army of volunteers created a wonderfully colourful, chaotic and utterly idiosyncratic piece of theatre that no other country could (or would) do in quite the same way. It was a celebration of people, of storytelling, of creativity, of past, present and future. And I for one bloody loved it.

Nice one Danny.

BUFFY 5.13: BLOODTIES

Promo for this episode

WRITER: Steven S. DeKnight

DIRECTOR: Michael Gershman

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Uh oh, it’s another Buffy birthday, which means things aren’t gonna go well. Today’s the day our girl turns 20. And as Buff reluctantly holds a party at her house, poor Dawnie’s world goes and crumbles around her when, after sneaking a look at Giles’s diaries, she finds out that she is in fact the Key. Traumatised, she runs away, and ends up running into Ben at the hospital, letting slip to him what she really is. Hearing this news, Ben freaks out and morphs into Glory, who thankfully doesn’t know what her alter ego Ben knows about Dawn. Glory threatens a terrified Dawn, seeking information, and is about to brain suck the niblet when Buffy and co. arrive to save lil sis.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

The whole Dawn story line plays now as a metaphor for adoption, for a child discovering that he/she is not actually blood related to their family and the feelings that might then engender: difference, isolation, anger, a feeling of having lived a lie.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Glory

WHY IT ROCKS

Poor Dawnie. The theme as descried above is played out well and proves quite affecting. Who could possibly imagine how poor Dawn is feeling? Her entire life is a lie and she is in fact only six months old. The metaphor for adoption is a smart one which I’m sure lots of people in similar circumstances could relate to. Michelle Trachtenberg does an excellent job here. This is her episode. She is front and centre and really sells the hurt, confusion, disorientation and downright anger at Dawn’s situation.

Spike and Dawn do some B & E. Love the almost childish chemistry between these two. Dawn, sneaking out of the house to go to the Magic Box, runs in to Spike. She tells him she’s gonna break in and steal stuff. He likes that idea. Dawn asks if he’d like to come along. He readily agrees. Together the pair breaks in to the shop but not before Dawn teases Spike about not being scary or bad any more, saying that she’s badder than him, to which he replies indignantly, “Are not.” Heh.

Willow and Tara’s spell. The witches’ last minute solution to getting rid of Glory is inspired and leads to a most amusing reaction from our hell god as she is teleported high up in to the atmosphere over Sunnydale…then plummets to the earth in a fiery streak.

WHY IT SUCKS

The whole Knights of Byzantium thing still kinda bugs. These blatantly medieval types don’t fit in well to any kind of modern world. Even their pseudo ye olde English way of speaking is just silly.

ITS BUFFTASTIC

Glory getting teleported “Oh shi…!”

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Xander: We're goin' up against a god. An actual mightier-than-thou god.
Willow: Well, you know what they say. The bigger they are—
Anya: The faster they stomp you into nothing.

Buffy: How was school today?
Dawn: Um, the usual. Big square building filled with boredom and despair.
Buffy: Just how I remember it.

Anya (holding the frilly dress Buffy received): Oh, it's just so lovely! Ooh, I wish it was mine! (The group gives her a funny look.) Oh, like you weren't all thinking the same thing!
Giles: I'm fairly certain I wasn't. (whispers to Xander) I've got one just like it.

Dawn: You wanna come steal some stuff?
Spike: Yeah, all right.

Buffy: Maybe it's time to start a new tradition. Birthdays without boyfriends. It could be just as much fun!
Willow: Preaching to the choir here, baby.

Glory (to Dawn): I've been meaning to send the Slayer a message. And I could use a little pick-me-up. Two birds, one stone, and boom! You have yummy dead birds.

Glory (materialising high up over Sunnydale) Oh shi…!

AND ANOTHER THING

This is the first episode of Buffy written by Steven S. DeKnight who would go on to write/produce for Angel and Dollhouse and create/write/produce Spartacus: Blood and Sand.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Gotta feel for poor Dawn. 3.5 (out of 5)

BUFFY 5.12: CHECKPOINT

Teaser for the ep.

WRITER: Doug Petrie, Jane Espenson

DIRECTOR: Nick Marck

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

The Watchers Council comes to Sunnydale bringing with them information as to who (or what) Glory really is. But Chief Watcher Quentin Travers (Harris Yulin) refuses to turn over the information unless Buffy passes a series of exhaustive tests of her skills, strategies, and methodology. Making things even worse for the Buffster, Glory pays a visit to her at home and threatens her family unless she turns over the Key. As if that’s not bad enough a bunch of guys in chainmail brandishing swords appear from nowhere and attack her, They call themselves the Knights of Byzantium, an ancient order sworn to destroy the Key and all who protect it. Buffy wins the battle but the knights’ promise that legions of them will follow. This is the last straw for Buff and she finally realises something: she is the one with the power. She has power over them all: the Watchers, Glory, the Knights. She shares her revelation with Quentin, informing him that they, the Watchers, are useless without her and that she is now in charge. She orders him to reinstate Giles with full back pay and to give her all the info they have on Glory. His bluff called, Travers agrees and tells Buffy that Glory is no demon. She’s a god.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

It’s about realising and using the power you have, not letting others use you, take advantage, walk all over you. Through most of the episode Buffy is being dismissed and talked down to by so-called authority figures. Buffy’s lecturer patronises her because she dares to ask questions and to challenge his view of history. Glory tells her she is nothing to her and that she could kill her in an instant. And the Watchers try to reassert their authority over her by withholding valuable knowledge and threatening to get Giles kicked out of the country. But they have all made a big mistake. It is all just bluff. And realising this, Buffy calls those bluffs.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Glory and the Watchers Council

WHY IT ROCKS

Girl power actualised. A great theme and Buffy’s realisation of her power and her then putting those damn Watchers in their place is fantastic. Her big scene at the end is perfectly written and performed and we are right their with the Scoobies cheering the Buffster on. You go girl!

SMG and Tony Head. All the performances by the regulars are great, but it is SMG and Tony Head who are at the heart of things here. And they are both firing on all cylinders. The Giles and Buffy father/daughter mentor/student relationship is at the core of this episode. They have quiet heart to hearts with Giles making sure Buffy knows that she has done nothing wrong, that nobody else could ever have done any better than she. His pride in her shines throughout, especially when she finally puts Travers and co. in their place. Once more Giles proves to be the perfect father figure, and as Buffy freely tells him, she can’t lose him when the Watchers threaten to get him kicked out of the country. A portent of things soon to come in the realm of Buffyverse parental figures.

Hanging at Spike’s crib. Buff takes her mom and sister to stay with Spike so he can protect them from Glory. Of course Spike agrees. He’d do anything to get Buffy’s favour. But he already has a nice relationship with Joyce, a weird kind of mother/son thing going on. Plus they also share a common passion for daytime soap Passions. And Spike also kinda gets Dawn too, how she’s troubled and is full of teenage hormones. They will go on to form a kind of charmingly odd big brother/lil sis bond.

WHY IT SUCKS

The Knights of Byzantium are a goofy looking lot in their middle ages style armour and chain mail. Not very practical for 21st century living. Or for helping keep them a secret.

ITS BUFFTASTIC

Buffy takes the power back. Yeah!

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Glory: Sunnydale's got too many demons and not enough retail outlets.

Giles (to the Council members): You all stand around and look sombre. (Indeed they do.) Good job.

Giles (to Travers, very angrily): She's not your bloody instrument and you have no right to do any of this!

Giles: Buffy, calm down. The scandal here is not anything you've done wrong, it's the way they're behaving. Holding what they know hostage, with a gun pointed at my bleeding green card no less. It's humiliating.

Phillip: So. You have no special skills, or powers, or knowledge that you bring to the mix? Neither of you?
Anya: Just enthusiasm for killing the demons. Go deadness for the demons!

Buffy: There isn't gonna be a review.
Quentin: Sorry?
Buffy: No review. No interrogation. No questions you know I can't answer. No hoops. No jumps. (Nigel is about to speak.) No interruptions. See, I've had a lot of people talking at me in the last few days. Everyone just lining up to tell me how unimportant I am. And I've finally figured out why. Power. I have it. They don't. This bothers them. Glory came to my home today.
Giles: Buffy are you all—
Buffy: Just to talk. She told me I'm a bug, I'm a flea, that she could squash me in a second. Only she didn't. She came into my home, and we talked. We had what in her warped brain probably passes for a civilized conversation. Why? Because she needs something from me. Because I have power over her. You guys didn't come all the way from England to determine whether I was good enough to be let back in. You came to beg me to let you back in. To give your jobs, your lives, some semblance of meaning.
Nigel: This is beyond insolence— (Buffy hurls the sword at him, which he must jump aside to avoid.)
Buffy: I'm fairly certain I said no interruptions.

AND ANOTHER THING

Veteran American character actor Harris Yulin reprises his role of stuffy English Watcher Quentin Travers last seen in season three’s Helpless. He’ll appear once more in season seven’s Never Leave Me.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Buff tells it like it is. 4 (out of 5)

BUFFY 5.11: TRIANGLE

Some of Anya’s best bits

WRITER: Jane Espenson

DIRECTOR: Christopher Hibler

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Giles heads off to England to meet with the Watcher’s Council to discuss Glory leaving Anya in charge of the Magic Box. Tensions between Anya and Willow soon arise over Willow using ingredients for spells without paying. But it is obvious this is just a cover for far more deep seated issues between the pair, mostly revolving around Xander. Much arguing and tomfoolery eventually leads to a giant troll called Olaf (who happens to be an ex boyfriend of Anya’s) being accidentally released from a magic crystal and then going on the rampage around town looking for ale to drink, wenches to have his way with, and fat little babies to eat. Working together Anya and Willow must track down big bad Troll and get him back in the crystal before he can wreak any more havoc.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

The ol’ tension between the best friend and the girl friend, each one jealous of the other, afraid they are gonna hurt or ‘take away’ the poor sap stuck in the middle. In this case Xander.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Olaf the troll

WHY IT ROCKS

It’s a three-way. The idea behind this episode is pretty fun and is something lots of people can relate to (not the troll, the girlfriend/best friend thing). The tension between Willow and Anya has been building for a while now and it blows up nicely in this episode.

Jane Espenson brings the funny. Yep, Triangle is a Jane Espenson script, and as such it brings a lot of funny to the party. It’s pretty over the top in places (Olaf himself is a totally OTT creation) and veers from silly slapstick to witty wordplay to almost French farce in places. But it works.

Comedy direction. Veteran TV director Christopher Hibler brings his long held expertise with comedy to this episode. The direction of the comedy and its timing is impeccable leading to several laugh out loud moments.

Olaf the troll. Olaf is a great creation brought hilariously to life by long time ER actor Abraham Benrubi who’s clearly having a whale of a time shouting every line while smashing stuff up and hunting down ale to drink, wenches to have his way with, and fat tasty babies to eat. Benrubi returned to the role in the season 7 episode ‘Selfless’.

Spike. Once again James Marsters is all kinds of awesome in this ep. The scene where he practices giving a box of chocolates to a fake Buffy (a mannequin with blond wig on) before getting in a one sided argument with said mannequin, then attacking it…then calmly resetting it and starting again is hilarious. His encounter with Olaf at the Bronze is equally good and very funny, especially when Xander suggests to Spike that he could maybe fight the troll and stop his rampage and Spike answers nonchalantly, “Yeah, I could do that. But I’m paralysed with not caring very much.”

Anya. As always Emma Caulfield is very funny and very cute as ex-vengeance demon Anya whose past comes back to haunt her when it is revealed that Olaf was an ex of hers from back in the dark ages who she turned in to a troll after he cheated on her. Turns out it was that act that got her the job of becoming a vengeance demon.

WHY IT SUCKS

Very silly. This is one of the most out and out silly episodes of the entire run of the show. That’s not necessarily a bad thing though, as this show does silly very, very well and still always manages to keep a serious theme going. But the goofy tone is kinda unrelenting. Even Buffy’s emotional state post-Riley leaving is played for laughs with her breaking down in to exaggerated comedy tears every time something remotely sad happens.

Where did Riley go? How do Buffy and the rest of the gang know so much about Riley's "secret" mission? He didn't tell her where he was going and never mentioned anything to do with "the jungle".

Anya the driver. Anya tells Willow that she's never driven before, but in Graduation Day Part One, she told Xander she had a car outside, and suggested that they leave Sunnydale, taking turns driving.

ITS BUFFTASTIC

Spike’s rant at, and then attacking of his ‘practice’ Buffy mannequin.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Anya: If you ever decide to go, I want a warning. You know? Big flashing red lights, and-and-and one of those clocks that counts down like a bomb in a movie? And there's a whole bunch of, of coloured wires, and I'm not sure which is the right one to cut, but I guess the green one, and then at the last second, "No! The red one!" and then click, it stops with three-tenths of a second left, but then you don't leave. Like that, okay?

Xander: Check. Big bomb clock.

Giles: Dealing with people requires a certain, uh, finesse.
Anya: I have finesse! I have finesse coming out of my bottom!

Buffy: I killed something in a convent last night.
Xander: In any other room, a frightening declaration. Here, a welcome distraction.

Spike (holding a box of chocolates, talking to a mannequin with a blond wig): Um... there's something I got to tell you. About showing you Riley in that place. I didn't mean to... (long pause) Anyway, I know you're feeling all betrayed — by him, not me. I was trying to help, you know. Not like I made him be there, after all. Actually trying to help you. Best intentions. I mean, you know, pretty state you'd be in, thinking things are all right while he's toddling halfway round the bend. (He stares at the mannequin and starts to get increasingly angry.) Oh, I'll insult him if I want to! I'm the one who's on your side! Me! Doing you a favour! And you, being dead petty about it — me, getting nothing but your hatred and your venom and— you ungrateful bitch! Fuc— bitch!
(He loses control and smashes the box of chocolates over the mannequin's head. He then sighs, picks up the mannequin and replaces it. He rearranges the wig, picks up the box of chocolate, and tries to stuff the chocolates back in. He composes himself and faces the mannequin again. )
Spike: Buffy... there's something I want to tell you.

Olaf (upon bashing a dumpster with his hammer): Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! Puny receptacle!

Olaf: Bar maid! Bring me stronger ale! And some plump, succulent babies to eat!

Xander: I'm gonna run get Buffy. Or maybe you could fight him.
Spike: Yeah, I could do that, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much.
Olaf (to Spike): You there! Do you know where there are babies?
Spike (to Xander): What do ya think, the hospital?
Xander: What? Shut up!

Willow: I wish Buffy was here!
(Buffy runs in.)
Buffy: I'm here!
Willow: I wish I had a million dollars!

AND ANOTHER THING

Abraham Benrubi who plays Olaf is probably best known as a regular on ER playing desk clerk Jerry Markovic. He also provides the voice of Darth Vader (and others) on Robot Chicken, co-created by Seth (Oz) Green. He has also starred in an episode of The X-Files and had a supporting role in the film Twister.

This is the only episode of Buffy directed by Christopher Hibler, a veteran television director who worked on shows such as Remington Steele, Moonlighting, and Quantum Leap. He passed away in 2010 aged 68.

HOW MANY STAKES?

It’s troll-tastic! 4 (out of 5)

5.10: IN TO THE WOODS

Some of the score from this episode.

WRITER: Marti Noxon

DIRECTOR: Marti Noxon

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Spike discovers Riley’s secret vamp sucking addiction. And seeing an opportunity he gets Buffy to follow him to the grotty vampire brothel where, to her horror, she sees for herself Riley in the midst of a blood suck session with a lady vamp. Disgusted, Buffy takes off. Not long after, the military guys, still in town after the events of the previous ep, come to Riley and ask him to join them. They are about to head of to Belize for a long mission in the jungle to take down some demons that’ve been targeting missionaries. Riley considers the offer. Later, he confronts a still furious Buffy with what he has done and tries to explain himself to her. He tells her he’s gonna leave with the military guys at midnight if they can’t work through this. Buffy sees this as an ultimatum and storms off. Knowing something bad is going down, Xander catches up with Buff and tells her that she needs to get over herself if she really does care for Riley and wants him to stay. Xander’s words get through to her and a desperate Buffy runs off, chasing after Riley to try and stop him from leaving. Will she get to him it in time?

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

It’s a relationship thing: poor communication, taking each other for granted, secrets, infidelity. You can read the metaphor of what Riley is doing in either of two ways. First, he’s visiting prostitutes and paying for what he (wrongly) perceives as intimacy, for what he thinks he’s not getting from Buffy. Second, that he is getting a high from a drug, having the lady vamps feed on him, making him feel good….somehow.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Vampire pimp I guess…and Riley being a tool.

WHY IT ROCKS

The metaphor. It’s played out quite well with the breakdown of a relationship given a Buffesque bent.

The vampire brothel idea is a good one…in a creepy, messed up kinda way. Adds interesting flavour to the supernatural underworld.

The big fight. Buffy angrily taking on vampire pimp and his gang is pretty cool. They didn’t stand a chance. Also how Buff at first lets go the female vamp who’d been feeding on Riley…before then throwing a wooden stake through her while she’s running away, dusting her.

WHY IT SUCKS

So Buffy’s the bad guy? Sorry, but the way this story is played out just doesn’t feel at all right to me. Riley is made out to be a victim here, suffering at the hands of an unthinking, unfeeling Buffy, who apparently takes him for granted. Xander tells her as much and makes her realise she really does love Riley and wants him to stay. But, to me at least, Riley has been major tool for most of this season. He’s been so selfish and self centred, expecting Buff to be putting his needs first while she’s been dealing with everything she’s been dealing with. Of course Buffy ain’t perfect and has some major character flaws of her own but that’s part of why we love her. No, I was totally with the Buffster on this one….at least until she goes and has a Xander inspired epiphany and runs after soldier boy. Truth is Riley was right. She never really, truly loved him. He WAS rebound guy.

Angst heavy. I like me some angst and high emotion (when done well), but that’s pretty much all that this episode is. It is heavy handed and just doesn’t ring true. There’s almost no humour to be had, no laughs, just wrong feeling mawkish angst. Thank the gods then for Anya in an early Magic Box scene as she and the Scoobies debate the holiday reduced sale price of chicken feet.

ITS BUFFTASTIC

Buff furiously dusting the vamp pimp and his gang.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Anya: Maybe we could do a... holiday promotion. One free with every purchase!
Giles: Oh, yes. Dear holiday memories. Merry tykes by the fire, enjoying their new Christmas... chicken feet.
Willow: Aw, holding them tight as they fall asleep. Painting their little toenails.
Anya: That's very humorous. Make fun of the ex-demon! I can just hear you in private. 'I dislike that Anya. She's newly human and strangely literal.”

Xander (to Anya): I've gotta say something, 'cause I don't think I've made it clear. I'm in love with you. Powerfully, painfully in love. The things you do, the way you think, the way you move... I get excited every time I'm about to see you. You make me feel like I've never felt before in my life. Like a man. I just thought you might wanna know.

AND ANOTHER THING

The "In Memory of D.C. Gustafson" at the end of this episode referred to Gustav Gustafson - a good friend of Sarah Michelle Gellar’s who died in November 2000 at age 41 after fighting cancer and AIDS.

HOW MANY STAKES?

So long Riley. 2 (out of 5)

BUFFY 5.9: LISTENING TO FEAR

Episode promo

WRITER: Rebecca Rand Kirshner

DIRECTOR: David Solomon

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Good news! Joyce’s brain tumour is operable but the problems it is causing her are getting worse – mood swings, uncontrolled verbal outbursts etc. Unwilling to stay in the hospital for the two days until her op, Joyce and Buffy convince the doctor to let her return home to wait until its time for the surgery. Reluctantly the doc agrees. And so Buff takes her mom home. Unfortunately a Queller Demon summoned from space by intern Ben (who is somehow connected to Glory) in order to suck dry the minds of the insane peeps Glory is leaving in her wake, hitches a ride with the Summers girls, looking to target poor Joyce as its next meal. Elsewhere, seems Riley is hanging out in filthy dives with trashy vampire girls and paying them to suck on his…blood.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Our changing roles in life and having to adopt new roles we never expected to adopt. From this episode on Buffy basically takes on the mother and primary carer role for Dawn, and also, for a while at least, for her mom too. Having missed out on a proper adolescence Buff is now, at such a young age (only 19 still as of this ep), having to become the adult of the house, the primary carer for her family. Being the hero she is, she of course steps up to the task, but the private little breakdown we witness as she does the washing up in the dark is very telling. She may have averted apocalypses and saved the world, but this is possibly the scariest and most traumatic challenge she’s yet had to face.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

The Queller Demon – a kind of giant cockroach with a human face that vomits disgusting goo over its victims. Gross!

WHY IT ROCKS

The main theme of the episode. As explained above, this works well in talking about what so many people in real life have to deal with, often at such young ages – forced through circumstance to become carers for close family members.

The Queller Demon. It sure is a gross little bug thing that slimes and crawls around walls and ceilings, vomiting its ghastly goo on people. It’s actually one of the most effective (in being gross) demons the show ever did and seems more like something from the X-Files rather than the Buffyverse.

Willow aka Tiny Jewish Santa. Early on in the ep Willow visits Joyce and Buffy and Dawn at the hospital and brings gifts for them all - a ‘Tiny Jewish Santa’ as Buffy observes. Gotta love the Willster

Kristine Sutherland. Again, the lady knocks it out of the park, portraying Joyce’s fear and frustration and also her deteriorating mental state. Watching poor Joyce as she acts irrationally and babbles inanely (including insulting her daughter) is very sad, especially for those of us who have known (and do know) people in similar conditions. Excellent work.

SMG. And Sarah knocks it out of the park too. Once again poor Buff is put through the emotional wringer. She is trying desperately to be strong for Dawn and for her mom, but it is all getting to be too much. Her private breakdown in the darkened kitchen is very affecting as is her scene at the end when she is forced to reveal the truth about Dawn to her mom and also promise her that she’ll look after her lil sis if anything happens to Joyce.

Riley and the vamp hoes. Okay, so Riley is seeking his thrills in filthy, seedy ‘crack dens’ paying vamp girls to suck on his blood for thrills. Complicated guy.

WHY IT SUCKS

The Queller Demon story is ok but as an ‘A’ story it is fairly ho hum. Luckily everything else around it i.e. Joyce’s illness and Buffy’s emotional struggle is great.

ITS BUFFTASTIC

Giles: Because it's a killer snot monster from outer space. (pause) I did not say that.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Willow: Oh, I feel just like Santa Claus... except thinner, and younger, and... female. And, well... Jewish.

Buffy: Homework? Unh. I don't believe in tiny Jewish Santa anymore.

Willow: You know what's weird?
Tara: Japanese commercials are weird.

Riley (about the stinky alien goo): That might be toxic, don't touch it.
Xander: Oh yeah, touching it was my first impulse. Luckily I've moved on to my second, which involves dry-heaving, and running like hell.

Xander: I still don't get why we had to come here to get info about a killer snot monster.
Giles: Because it's a killer snot monster from outer space. (pause) I did not say that.

Joyce: …Dawn... she's not mine, is she?
Buffy (after long pause): No.
Joyce (after another pause): She's... she does belong to us though?
Buffy: Yes she does.
Joyce: And she's important. To the world. Precious? As precious as you are to me?
(Buffy nods.)
Joyce: Then we have to take care of her. Buffy, promise me. If anything happens, if I don't get through this—
Buffy: Mom…
Joyce: No, listen to me. No matter what she is, she still feels like my daughter. I have to know that you'll take care of her. That you'll keep her safe. That you'll love her like I love you.
Buffy (crying): I promise.

AND ANOTHER THING

Nick Chinlund, who plays Major Ellis, is a TV and movie genre favourite having played the nasty death fetishist Donnie Pfaster in two memorable episodes of The X-Files, Billy Bedlam is Con Air, and the gruff merc Toombs in The Chronicles of Riddick amongst many others.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Snot that great. 2.5 (out of 5)