BUFFY: 6.18 ‘ENTROPY’

Teaser

WRITER: Drew Z. Greenberg
DIRECTOR: James A. Contner

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Anya returns to town having been reinstated as a vengeance demon and is determined to find someone who will wish ill on Xander allowing her to enact a curse on her behalf. It doesn't go so well for her though, and when Spike comes to see her at the Magic Box looking for a spell to ease his own hurt over being dumped by Buffy, the two end up in a clinch, finding solace in each other. Unbeknownst though to the intimate pair the whole thing is being broadcast via secret cameras the Trio have set up all over town including one at the Magic Box. A camera Willow has just managed to tap in to which suddenly allows all the gathered Scoobies including a stunned Buffy and horrified Xander to watch the vampire and vengeance demon getting it on together.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

As the episode's title suggests this is about disruption and disorder, how things seem to be falling apart. It's also about dealing with personal hurt, lashing out, making mistakes and trying to cope with the consequences.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

The Trio. And Xander...kinda.

WHY IT ROCKS

Emma Caulfield: Anya is back with a vengeance...literally. And this is her episode and Emma Caulfield is terrific. Poor Anya is consumed by anger and hurt at what Xander did to her (justifiably so) and is looking for vicious payback. However you can tell that beneath the surface she feels somehow responsible, that she was somehow to blame and that Xander never really wanted her. She hates what Xander did to her. But she hates herself even more for allowing herself to be put in that position in the first place. Emma plays every scene with layered nuance even when she is being hilarious and trying to get unwitting people to wish horrible things on Xander.

Real world shopping: The scene near the start where Buffy and Dawn are out shopping together was filmed on the Santa Monica promenade in the heart of LA . It is kind of jarring but also very cool to see Buffy being filmed off set and in a real city location that's bustling with people. This is something that unlike Angel Buffy rarely did.

Temple of Doom: Warren calling Jonathan Short Round is most amusing.

Willow and Tara: They get back together. And it is beyond cute. Yay!

WHY IT SUCKS

Soapy: Okay, so there is no real story this week. It is all about the consequences of what the characters have been doing to each other and behind each others backs. Who has been sleeping with who. Who dumped who. Who kept secrets from who. Yes, it is all very soap opera-ish. But that's just about okay here as the characters and story up until now have earned it and we are invested. However it does make you think you are watching an ep of Spike's beloved Passions!

Xander the Dick: Okay, so Xander being all self righteous and angry over Anya and Spike and what Buffy has been up to is very annoying. He has no right at all to judge either of them, not after what he pulled only two eps ago. Nothing against Nicky Brendon who is really good but, like with Buffy, it feels like we are losing the character this season. Xander has become 'gulp' unlikable.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Anya hilariously trying to convince Buffy why she should hate all men, especially Xander.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Anya: I... I wish you had tentacles where your beady eyes should be! I wish your intestines were tied in knots and ripped apart inside your lousy gut!
Xander: They are.
Anya: Really? Right now? Does it hurt?
Xander: God, yes. It hurts so bad it's killing me. Anya... I love you, I want to make this work.
Anya: Those are metaphor intestines! You're not in any real pain! What's wrong with me?

Willow: Well, if there's anything we can do, just let us-
Anya: Actually... um... there is an eensy something I could use a little help with. You're lesbians, so the hating of men will come in handy. Let's talk about Xander.

Buffy: I don't think he could feel any worse.
Anya: Let's test that theory.
Buffy: Anya, Xander's my friend. I know what he did was wrong, and... if it had happened to me, I'd-
Anya: Wish his penis would explode?

Tara (to Willow): There's just so much to work through. Trust has to be built again, on both sides... You have to learn if... if we're even the same people we were, if you can fit in each other's lives. It's a long... important process, and... can we just skip it? Can-can you just be kissing me now?

AND ANOTHER THING

When Tara is talking to Willow at the end Willow's dress from the episode Once More, With Feeling can be seen hanging on the door.

After Xander leaves with a weapon Willow sees the open door and open chest. The weapons chest she sees is the same one Xander made for Buffy's birthday in Older and Far Away.

HOW MANY STAKES?

A chaotic 4 (out of 5)

BUFFY: 6.16 ‘HELL'S BELLS’

Buffy & Spike

WRITER: Rebecca Rand Kirshner
DIRECTOR: David Solomon

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

It's Xander and Anya's wedding day. The bride and bridegroom's families are all there with tension between them mostly exasperated by Xander's ghastly father who spends his time being rude, obnoxious and drunk. Pre-wedding jitters are present too which only get worse when a mysterious old man turns up and secretly tells Xander that he is in fact old Xander from the future come back in time to warn his younger self not to marry Anya as their life together will be hellish and awful and that he'll end up hurting her in the worst of ways. Seriously spooked young Xander takes off leaving poor Anya unaware of the situation and Buffy and Willow panicking as to what to do next.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

It's pretty obvious – the fear of commitment, of creating a binding future together and all that doing so entails. It's been subtly and not so subtly portrayed throughout the season that both Anya and Xander have issues with each other, fears about their future together. He can often show her little respect in public, correcting her, siding with others against her. And she can be borderline obsessive and needy. Many of these issues were aired in Once More With Feeling so it should come as no real surprise what happens in this ep. Though when it does it is still horrible and ghastly thing to do to someone you are supposed to love.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Old 'Xander', Xander's ghastly family, and Xander himself. Oh, the toxic looking bridesmaids dresses are pretty darn scary too.

WHY IT ROCKS

Emma & Nicky – both Emma Caulfield and Nicky Brendon are great. Anya is so weirdly cute and sweet especially when practicing her rather un-PC vows. And when she realises at the end what is happening the look on her face might just put a crack in your stony old heart.

SMG juggles – Yep, SMG is a good juggler (who knew?) and gets a chance to show off while Buffy tries her best to entertain the waiting guests as Willow hunts for Xander.

Spike – Okay, no idea who actually invited him. But his attempt to make Buffy jealous by bringing a date and then owning up to it along with his and Buff's subsequent borderline affectionate truce is kinda sweet.

Emotionally invested – it is telling how much we have invested in these characters, so much so that to many of us they feel like genuine family or friends. And when what happens happens as a result we really do feel the hurt of it. Poor An.

WHY IT SUCKS

Story (lack of) – There isn't much to the story here. The basic plot of the old Xander thing ends up being a non-event and paper thin not to mention all the wedding farce clichés we've seen a million times before get trotted out of storage for use here.

Light on the funny – not much in the way of witty sparking dialogue here. A few chuckles but nothing to write home about.

Weddings – I'm someone who doesn't have much patience for weddings and all the hoopla that goes on around them. Thankfully the Anya/Xander one is a pretty low grade affair so not much silly extravagance to annoy me. But wedding shenanigans can still grate

Spike – Yeah, I know. I love Spike...but who actually invited him? Xander hates him and wouldn't want him anywhere near his big day. Plus it's broad daylight and he appears not to have a blanket (just a trashy looking date designed to make Buff jealous) so why isn't he roasting nicely?

Bad Xander – Look, I love the Xan man...but really?? What he does here is pretty much unforgivable. And his reasons are the lamest, most self centered baloney possible. It was his idea to get hitched. So he's just been stringing poor An along all this time? Jeez!

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Buffy juggles

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Xander: I must wear das cummerbund!

Anya: 'I, Anya, promise to cherish you...' Ew, no, not cherish. Uh, 'I promise... to have sex with you whenever... I want, and, uh... uh, pledge to be your friend, and your wife, and your confidant, and your sex poodle...'

AND ANOTHER THING

SMG's talent as a juggler was especially incorporated into the script.

In a scripted but unfilmed scene, it was revealed that Giles remained in England to fight demons, and was thus unable to attend. But he did pay for all the flowers.

We finally get to meet Xander's legendary Uncle Rory who has been name checked several times throughout the series. Uncle Rory was always the black sheep of the family and Xander first referred to him in Season 2's The Dark Age as, "The stodgiest taxidermist you'll ever meet by day. By night it was booze, whores and fur flying."

George D. Wallace, who plays 'old' Xander, had a long career in Hollywood appearing in many films and TV shows. One of his early and notable appearances was as the Bosun in the scifi classic Forbidden Planet alongside Walter Pidgeon and Leslie Nielsen.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Bad Xander! 2 (out of 5)

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 6.4: FLOODED

Promo

WRITER: Douglas Petrie & Jane Espenson

DIRECTOR: Douglas Petrie

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

While trying to fix a leaky pipe Buffy accidentally floods her basement. Xander’s plumber bud who comes to fix the leak gives Buff the bad news: an expensive full copper re-pipe is needed. This news forces the Buffster to confront her dire financial situation. A loan application at the bank goes badly when the loan is denied and a demon then attacks and robs said bank. Turns out the demon was working for the geek Trio of Warren, Jonathan and Andrew, the new wannabe Big Bads of Sunnydale. In return for his services, the demon, called M'Fashnik, really wants to kill the slayer. So the ever helpful Warren points M'Fashnik in the direction of Buffy's home…

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

No metaphors needed. It is all out there in plain view. Life in the real world. Maintaining a house. Paying bills. Managing money. All the deathly dull stuff of real life. Poor Buff. She can slay demons ‘til the cows come home…and then slay the cows too. But running a household, paying day to day bills? That's what gives her the real wiggins.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

See above. Life, money, bills. Oh and some demon guy. And the Trio as well I guess.

WHY IT ROCKS

Real life: Buffy is facing the same reality we all face as adults – paying our way in the world. And it is scarier than any icky demon or fangy vamp. The scene with Buffy trying to get “her loan” is funny but also kinda tragic. We know she won't qualify. No income. A house with hardly any equity. It is a hard lesson for her to learn. Being a kick ass vampire slayer won’t pay the bills and keep a roof over your head…unless you take Anya’s advice of course and start charging per slay. Heh.

Stupid skirt! Buffy trying to fight M'Fashnik at the bank but being scuppered by her long, tight skirt is funny. Plus it’s very nice when she borrows a letter opener to slit said skirt open down the side exposing a nice length of bare slayer leg. Hey! (looks sheepish) She's cute. I’m a man.

Giles and Buffy: Giles’ reaction to seeing Buffy back from the dead is lovely. Tony Head and SMG play the moment to perfection. Never does it get over sentimental. It is just genuinely warm and full of reserved joy.

Giles vs. Willow: another portent of things to come. Filmed in a darkened kitchen, the scene moves quickly from easygoing fun to tense, uncomfortable anger, ending with a dark threat from Willow. What’s more, this will all pay of spectacularly come the end of the season. Both Tony Head and Alyson Hannigan are excellent.

“NO. MORE. FULL. COPPER. RE-PIPE!”: Buffy’s final furious beating to death of M'Fashnik after he breaks one of her brand new (and expensive) copper pipes is brutal but very funny, especially as she times each blow to the repeatedly yelled, “NO. MORE. FULL. COPPER. RE-PIPE!”

WHY IT SUCKS

M'Fashnik: He is nothing but a plot device. He exists for no other reason than as something for Buffy to pummel and to introduce us to the Trio as this season’s Big Bad…or are they? His motivation seems to be he just wants to kill the Slayer, being furious with her for no apparent reason.

The Trio: Never the best wannabe Big Bads for Buff to face. Individually I like Andrew and Jonathan (Tom Lenk and Danny Strong are both wonderful performers) though Warren works best as the true villain of the three. But not here. It takes until late in the season for him to move from being a goofy geek genius to becoming a truly vile, murdering misogynist monster. Here though, together, they are all just silly and totally non-threatening.

Mope: Blimey! I know Marti Noxon and Joss said they would make Buffy earn her resurrection and not just set the reset switch so everything is back to normal but the Buffy depressed/mope factor does come on strong. Luckily it is often broken up with moments of lightness where we get a glimpse of the old Buffster e.g. the bank fight.

Buffy is broke. And yet Willow and Tara seem to be living there rent free and not contributing to the household budget. However they seem to have money to continue their studies and keeping in witchy things and stylish clothes. Freeloaders!

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

“NO. MORE. FULL. COPPER. REPIPE!”

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Buffy (finds the leaky pipe): So, we meet at last, Mr. Drippy!

Willow: Buffy, I know you're still getting back on your feet after...
Buffy: Lying flat on my back?

Buffy: But, I haven't spent any money. I was all dead and frugal.

Buffy: It's not like it's the end of the world. ...Which is too bad, because *that* I'm really good at.

Anya: It's not *so* crazy.
Dawn: Yes it is! You can't charge innocent people for saving their lives!
Anya: Spider-Man does!
Dawn: He does not.
Anya: Does too!
Dawn: Does no... Xander?
Xander: Action is his reward.

Loan Officer: The problem is you have no income. No job.
(demon comes crashing through the window)
Buffy: No job? I wish!

Buffy (to demon): Hey! Are you in the wrong line? That's for deposits, that's for withdrawals, and this one is for getting kicked in the face. (tries to kick, can't raise her leg) Stupid skirt!

Xander: Score one for Captain Logic!
Anya: No, no. Captain Logic is not steering this tugboat. I smell Captain Fear at the wheel.

Giles (seeing Buffy alive again for 1st time): You're...
Buffy: ...a miracle.
Giles (smiles): Yes. ...But then I always thought so.

Jonathan: How'd you make him do that?
Andrew: What, are you some kind of ...Jedi?
Warren: The Force can sometimes have great power over a weak mind.

Giles: Well I know I'm back in America now, I've been knocked unconscious.
Buffy: Mmmm... Poor lumpy Giles!

Buffy: Who's calling me? Everybody I know lives here.

Buffy: “NO. MORE. FULL. COPPER. RE-PIPE!”

AND ANOTHER THING

It is established in this episode that Giles keeps a home in Bath (a small city in the south west of England for those who don't know.) Tony Head actually does live in the Bath area, not that far away from me as it happens. I've seen him around town and shopping in the local supermarket, which was kinda surreal. Anyway, this geographical trivia will come in to play at the start of season seven.

We know two of the three geeks (Warren and Jonathan) but not Andrew. We have met his brother, Tucker, though. He was the one who sent hell hounds to the Sunnydale High Prom in season three's The Prom.

After the Spider-Man argument between Anya, Dawn and Xander it is fun to note that Jeph Loeb, Executive Producer of the abandoned Buffy: Animated series, has written several Spider-Man comics.

HOW MANY STAKES?

A not so soggy 3.5 (out of 5)

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 6.2: BARGAINING (PART 2)

Bring Me To Life

WRITER: David Fury

DIRECTOR: David Grossman

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Unbeknownst to Willow and the other Scoobies the ritual to bring Buffy back to life has worked. Our girl has regenerated and is alive and trapped in her coffin under the earth. Screaming in terror she begins to claw and fight her way free.

Meanwhile, up above, the evil demon bikers continue their rampage through Sunnydale.

Back at casa Summers, Spike tells Dawn they can’t stay there and have to leave as the neighbourhood burns. Hijacking a motorcycle Spike and Dawn take off, looking for safety.

In the woods, the Scoobies split up with Xander carrying an exhausted Willow while Tara and Anya head separately back in to town. The two girls soon arrive at the Magic Box and wait there for their loved ones to get there too.

Back to Buffy who has now escaped from her grave and is wandering dazed and confused through the burning, ransacked streets of Sunnydale. Soon she stumbles across the gathered throng of demon bikers and their leader who have the captured Buffybot chained by each limb to four different motorcycles. Real Buffy then watches horrified as the motorbikes proceed to speed away, ripping the poor Buffybot to pieces. Seeing real Buffy, the demons, thinking she is another robot, try to grab her too. But real Buffy runs off with the demons in hot pursuit.

Back in the woods, Xander and Willow are lost. But then a magic light appears to guide them home, a light Willow knows has been sent by Tara. Soon, Xan and Will arrive back at the Magic Box, reunited with Anya and Tara. Thinking the resurrection of Buffy failed, the gang determine that it is up to them to stop the demon horde, and tooling up, they head out to do battle.

Spike and Dawn, still on the bike, find the abandoned wreckage of the Buffybot. Spike knows she is done for but Dawn goes to her just in time to catch her final words. Buffybot saw the real Buffy and asks Dawn where “other Buffy” went? And with that the poor broken bot ‘dies’. Dawn, making a leap of faith, runs off, looking now for “other Buffy” with Spike not even noticing she has gone until it is too late. Furious he sets out to find the runaway niblet.

Eventually Willow, Xander, Tara and Anya run in to real Buffy in an alleyway. After initially thinking she is the Buffybot, Willow realises she is in fact the real thing. The gang are amazed and happy yet also worried by Buffy’s dazed and confused behavior. Right then, the demons arrive and a fight ensues. Thankfully some of the old Buff returns and she engages the horde in battle, beating them down. But then, battle done, she runs off, clearly traumatised by the whole affair, leaving Tara to finish off the nasty demon leader with a well placed axe to the back. Her first, she proudly announces.

Dawn arrives at Glory’s tower, which is still standing, but only barely. She looks up and sees someone up on top. She runs to the tower and ascends it as fast as she can.

Up on top of the tower, it is Buffy standing at it's edge. She is staring down at the ground far below as fragments of memories of her fatal sacrifice fill her mind.

Suddenly Dawn appears behind her.

Dawn, scared that the somehow newly returned Buffy is going to take another swan dive, begs her sister to come away from the edge, to come back home with her.

For a time Buffy seems unsure and appears more inclined to jump once more.

But as the rickety tower begins to shake and crumble, and as Dawn screams out in terror, Buffy snaps out of it. At the last moment she turns, grabs her little sister, and grabbing a cable, swings them both off of the tower and down to the ground and safety…just as the whole thing comes tumbling down behind them.

The episode ends with Dawn hugging tightly her returned and thoroughly confused looking big sister.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Nothing specific as this carries on directly from part 1. I guess there is something in there about putting those you love before your self.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Still the nasty demon biker gang

WHY IT ROCKS

Seamless: It’s a direct continuation of part 1 and the join is seamless even though it has a different writer.

Payoff: Part 1 was the set up and this is the resolution. As such there is a lot of action and running around and fights. And they are all great as per usual. The emotional beats hit home too, especially the loss of poor Buffybot and the real Buffy looking and acting so lost and traumatised throughout.

On your bike: Spike's flying kick, taking the demon rider off of his motorbike and Spike then nicking it. Very, very cool.

SMG: whether playing the demise of poor Buffybot or the newly returned Buffy she is tremendous. As Buffy she has virtually no dialogue relying almost entirely on body language and on a pretty face that tells a traumatic tale with nothing more than a simple look.

Go Tara! Great to see Tara getting in on the demon slaying action. Nice axe to the back, girl!

WHY IT SUCKS

Bye, bye Buffybot: She’s gone to electro heaven. Rest easy, sweet, funny robo babe. We miss you. :(

The Scoobies must have realised that they’d need to dig Buffy out of her grave. So why didn’t they bring tools to dig her out? And why didn’t they dig up the grave before doing the spell so Buffy wouldn’t suffocate?

SMG’s post-death shock wig is kinda…shocking.

Still no cops

And no fire-fighters either

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Spike’s flying kick to take out a motorcycle demon…and then nicking his ride. Cool.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Spike: A couple of stakes, holy water, one cross. (picks up cross) Ow! (drops it) Brilliant.

Willow: Xander, that's not the North star. It's an airplane.
Xander: No, that's not an airplane. That's definitely... a blimp. But I can see how one would make that airplane mistake.

Xander: Demons. Ah, there's something you don't see every day. Unless you're us.

Willow (following the tiny glowing light sent by Tara): Xander, it's not a bug. It's Tara.
Xander: And how long have you known that your girlfriend's Tinkerbell?

Xander: This place is NORAD when we're at DefCon 1. (The girls look at him blankly) Okay, I *so* need male friends.

Xander: I happen to be a very powerful man-witch myself. A male... (turns to Willow) is it a warlock? (turns back to the demon biker) Warlock.

Xander: Tara, nice axing.
Tara: My first!

AND ANOTHER THING

The location where Dawn finds Buffybot was the same place used for Glory and the monks' original hideout in 5.5 'No Place Like Home'.

This is the second time we’ve seen Buffy six feet under. There’s a scene in 1.10 'Nightmares' where Buffy is buried alive by the Master - it’s one of her fears.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Still a bargain at 4 (out of 5)

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 6.1: BARGAINING (PART 1)

Promo

WRITER: Marti Noxon

DIRECTOR: David Grossman

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

And we’re back!

It’s been several months since Buffy died, sacrificing herself at Glory’s Tower to save her little sister as well as the rest of the world. Things in Sunnydale seem to have settled in to some sort of slaying routine, even without our deceased heroine being around. The gang, led by a mystic all seeing (and telepathic) Willow, are a well oiled slaying machine…kind of. They are all present and correct – Tara, Giles, Anya, Xander and Spike, all following Willow’s instructions to hunt down and slay a big fat vamp in the cemetery. Oh, and they have an ace up their sleeve. The Buffybot. The gang are using our reprogrammed electro girl to make the supernatural world think that the Slayer is still alive and kicking…their arses. And RoboBuffy has been doing a mighty fine job of it too, even cracking wise in a fight just like the real Buffster.

But no matter how good a copy she is, Buffybot is not the real Buffster.

The truth is Buffy’s demise has left a gaping hole in the lives of all the Scooby gang. They miss her terribly. Guilt is rife, especially from Giles and Spike. And poor Dawn, while putting a brave face on her loss, at night sneaks in to the room where the Buffybot recharges and secretly cuddles up to the robotic copy of her lost sister.

But unbeknownst to Dawn, Spike and Giles, Willow has a plan.

She’s refused to give up on the lost Slayer and has vowed to use whatever magic she can to bring Buffy back! Working secretly with Tara, Xander and Anya, she is preparing a dark and very dangerous spell to rescue Buffy from the eternal torment of the hell dimension in which she thinks Buffy is trapped. Willow declares that because Buffy died an unnatural death through mystic energy, they have a very good chance of bringing her back to life. Xander though is unsure, worried about the morality of what they plan to do. But Willow convinces him, mostly with the simple words: “It’s Buffy!” Xander can’t argue with that and agrees to help. The plan of resurrection is on for that very night.

Meanwhile, a weaselly little vampire has managed to cause a slight injury to Buffybot, exposing her electrical circuitry and damaging her navigational system, thus allowing the little monster to get away. He escapes with the knowledge that the Slayer is in fact nothing more than a machine and he ends up at an out of town bar where he tells his story to an ugly and vicious gang of motorcycle demons who all now know that with the real Slayer gone the Hellmouth is ripe for the taking. The vile gang heads off at top speed, violence on their minds, destination: Sunnydale.

Also meanwhile, Giles has decided to leave. He’s realised that with Buffy gone he has no real reason to stay. And so he secretly heads to the airport to catch a plane back to England. But the Scoobies discover what he is doing and they just about manage to get to the airport for a heartfelt goodbye before the G man’s flight is called. And so Giles leaves, not knowing that Willow and co. are planning on Bringing Buffy back that very same night; a plan he is not informed of as Willow knows that he would try to stop her.

And so later that night, gathered around Buffy’s grave, Willow begins the ritual with Tara, Xander and Anya looking on concerned.

Said ritual is dark, and it is extremely painful on Willow. Her flesh is slashed, bugs crawl under her skin, and she vomits up a snake! Xander tries to stop it but Tara stops him, saying Willow told her this would happen, that it is a test. But just as the ritual is building to its climax the demon biker gang shows up pursuing the Buffybot who is damaged and has automatically sought out Willow for repair. Then, right at the crucial moment of the ritual, a demon’s motorcycle goes and breaks the Urn of Osiris, abruptly ending Willow’s resurrection spell. Heartbroken by the perceived failure and terrified by the rampaging demons, the Scoobies flee in to the woods leaving behind the damaged Buffybot to be taunted and tortured by the evil horde.

Meanwhile, underground, inside her coffin, the withered corpse of Buffy Anne Summers is enveloped by mystical energy and begins to regenerate. After a few shimmering seconds, the now newly regenerated slayer opens her eyes and gasps for air. She’s alive! ALIVE!

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Not too much in the way of underlying theme or subtext here. I guess the only obvious one is about how we each deal with loss - the refusal to believe it, to accept it, the guilt, the anger, the simple terrible absence in your life. All are shown here, though they are not explored in any great depth.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Demonic motorcycle gang The Hellions. Ugly bunch of suckers.

WHY IT ROCKS

Life goes on: the gang are all stepping up and dealing with life after Buffy. The world still thinks the Slayer is active. With Willow and Tara now living at 1630 Revello a new family unit has been created to look after Dawn and to keep things afloat. It all seems plausible and workable. And with Buffybot around, life, though different, appears not to be so bad. At least on the surface.

How we deal: There are some nice character beats throughout the ep. showing how the Scoobies are (and are not) dealing with the loss of the Buffster. Willow refuses to believe she is gone, being determined to put things right via magic at any cost (a portent of her fall from grace this season). Giles is feeling guilty and is full of self loathing, thinking he has finally achieved a Watchers role in life – to watch his Slayer die. Spike is angry with himself for having failed to save Buffy, for having failed to keep his promise to her to protect Dawn, and as a result has now turned in to Dawn’s constant babysitter, refusing to leave her on her own and unprotected. And Dawn, she is quietly accepting, though in secret she pines desperately for her sister. Only Xander seems to be the voice of reason and true acceptance. Of course that doesn’t last after Willow convinces him otherwise.

The set up: part 1 is of course all about showing where everyone is, physically, emotionally and mentally, and about getting them to the point of bringing Buffy back. The emotional beats provided by Marti Noxon’s functional yet emotionally engaging script are all honest and affecting. We feel the Scoobies sense of loss, of pain. We feel awful for poor Dawnie as she cuddles up at night to the Buffybot. We feel Giles’ stoic anguish, Willow’s stubborn refusal, and perhaps most of all, Spike’s barely restrained fury and pain. Soulless? No way.

Buffybot: Aw, I love her so much. The innocent, smiley, chirpy, ever helpful Buffybot. So cute. And SMG is fabulous at playing her. It’s such a great device to keep your star in the episode and the character around when she really isn’t. Plus she’s just so darn adorable. I especially like how Spike can’t look at her properly anymore and is devastated when a bit of her old ‘I adore Spike’ programming rears its head. It’s all about character.

The funny: for what could be a very depressing and mawkish episode Bargaining Part 1 defies those expectations to actually be very funny and charming. Much of this is thanks to Buffybot and to some great lines of dialogue from a cast so in tune with their characters and with each other.

Stylish: Willow et al sure do have stylish wardrobes this year. World of leather must have signed them up for a discount. They all look great. All the girls look gorgeous, dressed and made up to the nines. The lads all look great too, cool and handsome. The photography is glossy and lush and the FX top notch. The move to UPN seems to have done them all the world of good.

WHY IT SUCKS

Um, demon bikers? Okay, the demon biker gang The Hellions are a goofy idea much like the Knights who say Nee from season 5 (or whatever they were called). They are just a bunch of dumb violent lugs and nothing more. And how do they exist and operate in a world that is still largely unaware of the supernatural? They seem to ride around and hang out in bars without giving their appearance to humans a second thought.

Where are all the cops? So the demon gang discover that the Slayer is no more and decide it is open season on Sunnydale. They show up in town and promptly run riot, looting, destroying, burning… And where exactly are Sunnydale’s finest while all this is going down? Have they all gone out for doughnuts? Are they all on summer leave? C’mon! Buff wasn’t the only protection Sunnydale had from bad guys.

The headstone: So, if the gang are trying to make the world think Buffy is alive and well and still slaying, why then do they plant a great big headstone with her name on it in the cemetery where all can see, effectively telling the world she is dead? Duh!

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Lots of great moments but for pure shock value it has to be Willow, the cute baby deer, and the BIG knife! Oh my god, she killed Bambi!

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Spike: Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? Cup of tea, cup of tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea?

Buffybot: That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, Bingo!

Willow: And I got her off those knock-knock jokes.
Buffybot: Ooh, who's there?
Xander: You know, if we want her to be exactly...
Spike: She'll never be exactly.
Xander: I know.
Tara: The only really real Buffy is really Buffy.
Giles: And she's gone.
Buffybot: "You know, if we want her to be exactly, she'll never be exactly, the only really real Buffy is really Buffy, and she's gone" who?

Xander: House of chicks, relax. I'm a man, and I have a tool. (pause) Tools. Lots of plural tools, in my, uh, toolbox.

Spike (to Dawn): She responded to Buffy-Bot because a robot is predictable. Boring. A perfect teacher's pet. That's all school's are, you know. Just factories, spewing out mindless little automatons. (Guilty pause) Who go on to be very valuable and productive members of society, and you should go.

Tara: You found the last known Urn of Osiris on eBay?
Anya: Yeah, from this desert gnome in Cairo. He drove a really hard bargain, but I finally got him to throw in a limited-edition Backstreet Boys lunchbox for...
Xander: (coughs)
Anya: A friend.

Buffybot: Sorry I questioned you, Spike. You know I admire your brain almost as much as your washboard abs.

Anya (to Giles): I'll take really good care of your money.

AND ANOTHER THING

In the US part 1 was originally shown with part 2 as a feature-length special to celebrate Buffy's re-launch on the UPN network. On the UK DVD set it also plays as one long double episode.

Responding to the Buffybot's comment about "That'll put marzipan in your pie-plate bingo", Spike asks "Why the Dada-ism?" referring to the German absurdist art movement of the 1920s. Not many prime time US shows would casually refer to such things. Love it.

Tara gives Giles a little rubber monster as a leaving present and says "Grrr, argh" - clearly a reference to the monster in the Mutant Enemy logo at the end of every episode.

This episode is the first time that Anthony Stewart Head is listed as a guest star in the credits. Alyson Hannigan now appears in the opening sequence in the spot he used to occupy. Tony had decided to leave the show full time in order to spend more time with his family back in England and to pursue other roles. But he remained a big part of the show for its remaining two seasons.

Season six sees the writer of this episode Marti Noxon promoted to co-executive producer alongside Joss, taking on the day to day running of the show as Joss moved on to do other things. Thus her name now appears alongside Joss' in the end credits.

The scene where Willow kills the deer is nasty enough but originally it was a lot gorier and had to be cut back in order to be suitable for transmission. Interestingly, the music playing during this scene is listed in the production notes as "Willow Stabs Bambi". Alyson Hannigan found it extremely difficult to film this scene. She was very upset at the thought of Willow doing such a thing and Marti Noxon says that Alyson cried the whole day it was being filmed.

In this episode we discover that Anya and Xander are engaged, but Xander doesn’t want to tell the others yet, causing tension between him and Anya.

Franc Ross, who played the lead hellion demon Razor, played ‘Monty Reynolds’ in Joss Whedon’s Firefly episode ‘Trash’.

The vampire who discovers that Buffy is a robot is wearing a Hanson t-shirt. Vampire or not, he is clearly evil.

HOW MANY STAKES?

It’s a bargain at 4 (out of 5)

BUFFY 5.21: THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD

A short daily from this ep featuring SMG and Alyson Hannigan

WRITER: Doug Petrie

DIRECTOR: David Solomon

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

With Buffy catatonic Willow steps up and takes charge ordering the gang back to Sunnydale while she tries a spell to help Buffy. Spike says he knows a guy who may be able to help them defeat Glory and get Dawn back. Meanwhile Glory has Dawn back at her HQ where her minions have now almost finished building an enormous tower upon the top of which Dawn is to be used to open the portal which will allow Glory to return home. As Glory and her minions prepare Dawn for the coming ritual Glory is getting a taste of Ben’s humanity as the magic keeping them apart starts to fade. She begins to feel twinges of guilt…and hates it, making her even angrier towards poor Dawnie, and when Ben returns for brief periods he in turn begins to remember all of the terrible things Glory has done. Across town, Spike and Xander go to visit Doc, the demon who helped Dawn with the spell to raise her mom from the dead. It turns out Doc is actually a worshipper of Glory and tries to kill Spike but ends up getting stabbed himself as Spike makes off with a box Doc tried to destroy. But Doc isn't dead and opens his eyes just as Spike and Xander leave. Back to Buffy, and Willow has managed to get inside her friend’s head, following the Slayer around in her own mind as she is locked in a cycle of guilt. The cycle begins with a memory of Buffy as a little girl, witnessing baby Dawn being brought home for the first time. It then moves on to The Magic Box where adult Buffy, putting away a book, has a brief moment of wishing it would all be over. Finally, the cycle ends with Buffy smothering a grown up Dawn with a pillow, telling a horrified Willow that this is who she is, that she killed her sister and that death is her gift. The cycle then starts all over again, repeating over and over, much to Willow’s confusion. Eventually Willow figures out what is going on and manages to get through to Buffy, convincing her that Dawn is still alive and needs her help. Buffy snaps out of her catatonic state and, crying, hugs Willow. As they return to the magic shop, Xander tells Buffy that Ben and Glory are one in the same. Giles then reveals that a bloodletting ceremony will occur to open the portal and that said portal opening will bring down the barriers between all dimensions creating utter carnage and torment for humanity. And there is only one way to stop it once started. Dawn must die.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

It’s all about the destructive power of guilt – especially misplaced guilt.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Glory, Doc, Buffy…kinda.

WHY IT ROCKS

A nice idea. Finally, the horrendous life Buffy is forced to lead catches up with her poor damaged psyche. I mean, how many traumas can one person take? Losing Dawn to Glory after she promised never to let any harm come to her was the final straw for our poor Slayer’s mind. Time for it to take a break then. And having Willow go in to Buffy’s mind and discover the root of her problem and then address it head on is also great. Her final solution may be a bit pat and wouldn’t make her popular with practitioners of mental health care (“Snap out of it!”), but for Buff it works. Thankfully.

Great to see Kristine Sutherland back as Joyce in a memory of Buffy’s.

Great to see Joel Grey back as Doc. He does creepy/slimy really well.

The actress playing little Buffy (aged 5 or 6 maybe?) is adorable and very good, though she doesn’t look much like SMG.

WHY IT SUCKS

Apart from the trip around the inside of Buffy’s noggin nothing much happens. Dawn gets to be ranted at by Glory some and the gang finds out about the bloodletting ritual, but that’s about it.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Frustrated Spike slapping the back of Xander’s head when Xander still can’t remember the truth about Ben and Glory, followed by their mutual yelp of pain – Xander’s due to the slap and Spike’s due to his chip firing.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Spike: "Better part of a century spent in delinquency just paid off. Hot-wired Ben's auto. Who's for getting the hell out of here?"

Spike: "Is everyone here very stoned?"

Glory: "Funny, 'cause I look around at this world you're so eager to be a part of, and all I see's six billion lunatics looking for the fastest ride out. Who's not crazy? Look around... everyone's drinkin', smokin', shootin' up, shootin' each other or just plain screwing their brains out because they don't want 'em anymore. I'm crazy? Honey, I am the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind 'cause at least I admit the world makes me nuts. Name one person who can take it here. That's all I'm asking. Name one."
Dawn: "Buffy."

Young Buffy: "You talk funny."
Willow: "Yes, as you'll tell me again when we're older, and in chem class."

AND ANOTHER THING

In season 2's 'Killed By Death' the young Buffy had dark hair as did the Buffy in Dawn's memory in 'Blood Ties', but here the little girl playing Buffy has blonde hair.

The actress playing little Buffy is called Alexandra Lee and a year after being young Buffy she had the honour of being Katie, Dr Mark Greene’s last ever patient on E.R.

HOW MANY STAKES?

A reasonably weighty 3 (out of 5)

BUFFY 5.3: THE REPLACEMENT

“Kill us both, Spock!”

WRITER: Jane Espenson

DIRECTOR: James A. Contner

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

A glowy faced demon called Toth is gunning for the Buffster and attacks her at the city dump. But Xander gets in the way and the demon’s energy blast knocks him flying. Toth flees and a dazed Xander is retrieved by his friends and taken home. However, later on, a second Xander awakens in the same spot at the dump where first Xander fell. Second Xander is all nervous and afraid and accident prone. He rushes off, only to find the other Xander appears to be living his life better than him. Other Xander seems more confident, more sure of himself, able to get what he wants. After a brief confrontation between the Xanders they each rush off to seek help, shocked by the encounter and convinced that the other is a demonic imposter. Confident Xander beats nervous Xander to Buffy so nervous Xander goes to see Willow. Both Buffy and Willow believe their Xanders are the ‘real’ Xander. In the meantime, nervous Xander, afraid for Anya, rushes off to stop his ‘imposter’ from meeting Anya at the new apartment he is renting. Meanwhile Buffy and Willow meet up with Giles who figures out what has happened. It seems Toth wanted to split the Slayer in to two separate physical personas: the first would be entirely human, while the second would be entirely slayer. Kill the human and the slayer part could not survive alone. Worried for Xander(s) the gang rushes off to stop him…them from doing something drastic and potentially fatal.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Ah, the old doppelganger/split personality tale. Trek did it brilliantly with the classic The Enemy Within (which this ep amusingly references in a roundabout way). Buffy even did it already…sort of…with Vampire Willow. Its one of those great genre staples that most shows will get around to doing at some point. And why not? It can make for great dramatic possibilities, a great chance to break down the human psyche, to see what makes us tick. Or, if you’re Buffy the Vampire Slayer, just an excuse to get Nick Brendon to act goofy and make the audience laugh. It’s a nice way to look at Xander in his many aspects – goofy nerd, witty charmer, loving boyfriend, loyal friend, confident young man, frightened child. But let’s not get too deep here. Mostly The Replacement is just an excuse for a Xander comedy episode. And that is perfectly fine. Two Xander’s for the price of one. Cool.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Toth

WHY IT ROCKS

It’s a Xander comedy episode written by the great Jane Espenson. What more do you need? Okay, specifics…

The Snoopy Dance. To prove to Willow he’s the real Xander, Xander tells her how every Christmas they get together and Watch A Snoopy Christmas and Xander always does the Snoopy Dance for her…which he goes on to demonstrate.

Nicholas Brendon. He does a great job portraying both Xanders (as does his real life Twin brother Kelly) and once more proves what a gifted comedy actor he is.

Anya wanting to keep the two Xanders for a while to engage in some unspecified sexual exploits. Needless to say the gang says no.

Xander owns a set of Babylon 5 commemorative plates.

Riley’s confession to Xander at episode’s end is kinda sad and ends what was a fun frothy episode on an unexpected but effective downer.

WHY IT SUCKS

This is essentially the last proper Xander comedy episode the show ever did. And that sucks.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

The Snoopy Dance

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Xander: I wish I had something food-like to offer you guys, but the hot plate's out of commission.
Anya: We think the cat peed on it.

Xander: Yeah, maybe it's definitely time to start looking for a new place. Something a little nicer. Buffy, you've been to Hell, they have one-bedrooms, right?

Riley: (at the City Dump): What are you doing here, Spike?
Spike: Oh, there's a nice lady vampire who's set up a tea room over by the next pile of crap. What do you think I'm doing?

Lame Xander: But I never help. I get in trouble and Buffy saves me.
Willow: That's not true! Sometimes we all help to save you.

Buffy (about the two Xanders acting quite alike): They're kinda the same now.
Giles: Yes, he's clearly a bad influence on himself.

Giles: We just need to arrange the candles. Also, we should pretend we heard none of the disturbing sex talk.
Willow: Check. Candles and pretence.

Anya (about the spell to rejoin the Xanders): Well, what do we do if it doesn't work?
Both Xanders (shouting together geekily) KILL US BOTH, SPOCK!

AND ANOTHER THING

The Babylon 5 plates Xander says he owns do not exist. They were planned but never produced. Shame.

Nicholas Brendon has an identical twin brother called Kelly Donovan who doubles him in several of the scenes in this ep thus not needing split screen. The brothers’ last name is actually Shultz; Donovan and Brendon are their middle names.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Two Xanders for the price of one. 3.5 stakes (out of 5)

BUFFY 4.11 ‘DOOMED’

Short trailer for this episode

WRITER: Marti Noxon, David Fury, Jane Espenson

DIRECTOR: James A. Contner

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Beginning where ‘Hush’ ended, Buffy and Riley are sitting together, not talking, unsure how to begin explaining to each other about their now not-so-secret lives. Eventually they do, and Buffy reacts badly. She wanted a nice normal guy. But now she seems to think that a relationship with Riley would be doomed. And so tries to end it between them. But Riley doesn’t understand and won’t walk away so easily. The couple’s heart to heart is suddenly interrupted by an earthquake. Riley is excited. But Buffy is scared as she sees earthquakes as omens of impending doom. She goes to see Giles who seems utterly unconcerned by the quake, putting it down to the usual Californian landmass shifts. Meanwhile Willow, at a party, makes a gruesome discovery, while Spike, who’s still staying with Xander, has become suicidal due to his now utterly miserable and degrading existence. Pretty soon though, Buffy is proved right about the earthquake being an omen of doom when the gang discovers that a demon cult is planning to reopen the Hellmouth beneath the destroyed Sunnydale High in order to usher in the apocalypse.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

It’s about attitude, positive and negative thinking, being fatalistic. Buffy starts the episode utterly fatalistic – about Riley, the world, everything, but she gradually changes as it goes along, discovering that it is possible to rewrite at least part of your own destiny. Plus it's also about never quite being able to leave your past behind, but also letting it go enough so as not to ruin your future. Willow and Xander are both unhappily reminded about their geeky pasts, while Buffy is still living in her past, haunted by her doomed romance with Angel. Then of course the gang quite literally revisit their past by having to return once more to Sunnydale High to battle evil.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

The Vahrall demons

WHY IT ROCKS

Three of the best. You’ve got three of the series’ best writers credited for this ep. As such, there are some great character beats and lots of wonderfully funny scenes and dialogue.

Suicidal Spike. James Marsters is hilarious as poor miserable Spike who’s been reduced to living in Xander’s basement, doing laundry and wearing some god-awful clothes. The scene where he tries to stake himself by falling on a table but only destroying said table is very funny. He can’t even do that right. In this ep poor Spike reaches an ultimate low. Luckily by episodes end he discovers something that gives him a new lease on (un)life.

Sunnydale High. Yay! We get to visit the semi-collapsed and burned out remains of Sunnydale High complete with chunks of charred Mayor Meat.

Xander’s ol’ pal. Riley thinks he recognises Spike (dressed in some awful Xander clothes). Spike, putting on a dreadful American accent, declares: “Me? No. No, sir. I'm just an ol' pal of Xander's here.” Heh! What you have here is an American actor playing a Brit doing a bad American accent. Most amusing indeed.

Joyful Spike. Towards episodes end Spike discovers that though he can’t hurt humans he can hurt demons, much to his immense joy. The last few seconds of the episode shows an excitable Spike trying to get a TV watching Willow and Xander up and out with him to go and find evil to fight, ”For the safety of puppies….and Christmas.” Good ol’ Spike. He just wants to do some damage. And if it’s only to demons then so be it.

WHY IT SUCKS

What story? The actual story itself is a bit naff. It’s just some demons trying to open the hellmouth to start an apocalypse. It’s paper thin. Basically this is an episode to cover the fallout from ‘Hush’ and to move the characters in to new positions for the rest of the season, though thematically it works ok within the terms of the episode itself.

Is it just me or does Giles’s voice in the scene where he’s telling Buffy that the earthquake is nothing to worry about sound a bit odd? It’s almost as if his lines were rerecorded and then overdubbed. It sounds a bit…fake.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Gleeful Spike right at episode’s end.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Buffy: "I'm the Slayer. (Riley looks blankly.) Slay-er. Chosen One. She who hangs out a lot in cemeteries. (He still looks blankly.) You're kidding me! Ask around. Look it up. Slayer, comma, The."

Riley: "Buffy. She's pretty cool, huh?"
Forrest: "Yes, already! She's cool. She's hot. She's tepid. She's all-temperature Buffy."

Giles: "Oh — as usual — dear."

Spike: “My sodding sleeping chair's bloody... sodden.”

Xander (to Spike): “I hate to break it to you, O Impotent One, but you're not the Big Bad anymore. You're not even the Kind of Naughty. You're nothing but a waste of space. My space! And as much I always got a big laugh watching Buffy kick your shiny white bum, and as much as I know that I could give you a little bum-kicking myself right now, I'm here to tell you something: You're not even worth it!”

Buffy (anxiously to Giles about the earthquakes): “I told you. I said 'End of the World,' and you were like pooh-pooh, Southern California, pooh-pooh.”

Xander: “Think of the happy. If we don't find what we're looking for, we're facing the apocalypse.”
Spike (cheering up): “Really? You're not just saying that?”

Spike (on his newly regained bad-assness): “That's right! I'm back and I'm a bloody animal! Yeah!”

Spike (excited to a bored looking Xander and Willow): “I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy? Is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One, after all. Come one, vampires, Grrr, nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice, and for... the safety of puppies, and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! (Frustrated now) Oh, come on!”

AND ANOTHER THING

As of this episode Marc Blucas gets added to the opening credits

Forrest tells Riley that he "don't got game," which might be an in joke seeing as how Leonard Roberts who plays Forrest co-starred in the 1998 movie He Got Game.

HOW MANY STAKES?

We’re doomed, we’re doomed! 3 (out of 5)

BUFFY 4.09 ‘SOMETHING BLUE’

“Don’t I get a cookie?”

WRITER: Tracey Forbes
DIRECTOR: Nick Marck

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Willow, still feeling terrible over Oz’s leaving, tries a spell to lessen her heartbreak. Unfortunately the spell goes wrong and unbeknownst to the misery stricken Wiccan what ever she says about the people she is closest to actually happens to them. Arguing with Giles, Willow says that he just doesn’t see anything. And a short time later Giles starts going blind. Then, angry at Xander over his advice to her about love, she tells him he’s in no position to give advice as he’s just a demon magnet. Pretty soon demons start showing up out of the blue, accosting poor Xan. Best of all though, Spike escapes from Giles’s place and Buffy has to leave Willow to go find and recapture the naughty vamp. Willow, upset that Buffy has left her to go find Spike, says that Buffy should just go marry him then. Next thing we know (much to Giles and Xander’s horror) Buffy and Spike are very much in love and planning their wedding, which leads to one confused conversation between Buffy and a totally flummoxed Riley. Things start getting even more out of hand as the gang is cornered by more and more demons out for Xander’s blood. At the same time, impressed by Willow’s curses on her friends, the great vengeance demon D'Hoffyrn goes and brings the unwittingly havoc wreaking girl to his dimension and offers her a job.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Dealing with heartbreak. Friends helping those who are dealing with heartbreak.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Willow (unwittingly), lots of various demons out to get Xander, and D'Hoffyrn.

WHY IT ROCKS

The script. Making up for some of the naffness of ‘Beer Bad’ Tracey Forbes writes a fun, frothy frolic of an episode. It’s not deep, it’s not clever, and it plays almost like a dose of fan fiction, but it is a lot of goofy fun.

Comedy. There is some broad and very funny comedy in this episode. A lot of it comes from Giles and his loss of sight and his exasperation and disgust at Buffy and Spike ‘in love’. The stuff at Giles’s house with Buffy and Spike being all lovey dovey is hilarious. After Xander arrives and sees Buffy and Spike canoodling, and then hearing that Giles is blind, he stares in horror at the mystically loved-up pair and says plaintively, “Can I be blind too?”

Spike and Buffy sitting in a tree… Spike and Buffy start out the episode at each others throats (well, Spike would be if he could actually hurt her). The platinum vamp is chained up in Giles’s bathtub being fed blood from a novelty mug while Buffy taunts him with her bare pulsing throat. They continue to go at it until Willow’s spell does its thing and suddenly the pair is in blissful love and all over each other, planning their wedding. The chemistry between them is great and they are so darn funny together.

Giles. Tony Head is fab. He sells the growing blindness so well not to mention his wonderfully judged air of horrific exasperation at everything that’s going on. Very funny indeed. He even gets to do a spot on pratfall.

The Amy rat. Very briefly we get to see Amy turned back human again, albeit for a split second behind an unwitting Willow and Buffy’s backs. It’s a swift gag. But it’s a nice nod to continuity (something Buffy does brilliantly) and is rather chucklesome.

WHY IT SUCKS

Rubbery demons. Some of the demons attacking Xander are kinda rubbery and not too convincing.

Poor Willow. The gang’s rather insensitive attitude to Willow (mostly behind her back) is pretty grim and not very nice. Lest they forget Buffy had only recently stopped obsessing over nasty Parker. Cut the poor redhead some slack people!

Fluffy Buffy. This ep is a lot of goofy fun but is entirely fluff and doesn’t add anything weighty to the season.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

Giles’s reaction to seeing Buffy and Spike ‘together’.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Xander (watching Willow dancing energetically at the Bronze): "I believe that's the dance of a brave little toaster."

Giles: “We can't let you go until we're sure that you're impotent or —“
Spike: “Hey!”
Giles: “Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we know that you're...”
Buffy: “Flaccid?”
Spike: “You are one step away, missy!

Buffy (faux-sexy): “Look at my poor neck — all bare, and tender, and exposed. All that blood, just pumping away.”
Spike (angrily): “Giles, make her stop!”
Giles (to Willow, exasperated): “If those two don't kill each other, I might lend a hand.”

Spike (yelling): “Passions is on! Timmy's down the bloody well, and if you make me miss it I'll —“
Giles: “Do what? Lick me to death?”

Giles (hearing Spike and Buffy kissing): “Stop that right now! I can hear the smacking.”

Buffy (gleeful): “Spike and I are getting married!”
Xander (stunned): “How? What? How?”
Giles: “Three excellent questions.”

Buffy (to Willow): “And the bad boy thing? Over it. Okay, I totally get it. I'd be really happy to be in a nice relationship with a decent, reliable… Oh my God, Riley thinks I'm engaged!”

HOW MANY STAKES?

Willow didn’t mean to do it. 3 (out of 5)

BUFFY: 4.07 ‘THE INITIATIVE’

Xander and Harmony’s pathetic fight. Heh.

WRITER: Doug Petrie
DIRECTOR: James A Contner

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

Spike, zapped unconscious at the start of the previous episode, wakes up in a white, sterile cell. He soon discovers he’s a prisoner, along with other supernatural types, in a secret government facility beneath Sunnydale and is destined for study and eventual vivisection. Naturally Big Bad wants out. And being a cunning badass he soon escapes. Meanwhile Buffy is helping Willow deal with Oz’s leaving, while Riley discovers to his surprise that he has feelings for Buffy and decides to try and “court” her. Buffy and Willow attend a party at Riley’s frat house where Riley attempts awkward conversation with Buffy before being urgently called away by his pals. Buffy is also called away urgently by Xander, who tells her that Spike is back in town and gunning for her. Back to the frat house and we soon discover that Riley is actually Agent Finn and he and his frat buddies are in fact the masked commandos seen sneaking around town this season. Riley and co. work for the secret government organisation that captured Spike. And Professor Walsh is the one in charge. We follow the boys down underground beneath their frat house where the huge hi tech headquarters of ‘The Initiative’ is revealed with its cells and its labs and its soldiers with laser guns. Professor Walsh tells Riley, who is the head soldier, that Hostile 17 (Spike) has escaped and needs to be tracked down and recaptured. Riley and his men suit up and head out on a Spike hunt. Meanwhile Spike has found out where Buffy now lives. He goes to her dorm surprising a morose Willow. Annoyed to find Buffy not there, Spike comforts himself by attacking poor defenceless Willow instead.

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

This is the episode that kicks the season’s main plot and theme in to gear. The plot is The Initiative and its plans to capture, study and use demons (or ‘subterrestrials’) for possible government applications. The theme is the clash of science and magic and how the two don’t play well together. The underlying theme I guess is about nature and primal forces (represented here by magic) and its continual clash with the ever increasing power of science and human invention and development. There is also the theme of human arrogance, thinking we know everything and then bumbling our way in to places and situations we find we can’t properly handle. Perhaps a bit of a comment on western foreign policy too? Though this was made pre the Iraq and Afghanistan invasions.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

Spike and The Initiative

WHY IT ROCKS

The script. Regular writer Doug Petrie delivers a mighty fine smorgasbord of a tale crammed full of drama, action, comedy, pathos, action, comedy, more action, more comedy, and plot twists. And he juggles it all perfectly. He also delivers one of THE best scenes of the entire season with the Spike and Willow dorm room scene. Pure genius. Only on Buffy.

The direction. James A Contner is, according to Doug Petrie in his episode commentary, the go to guy on Buffy for action. And he does a great job here. Spike’s escape from The Initiative is visually cool and pretty darn exciting. And the end corridor fight in the dorm is simply brilliant! But Contner also delivers big time with the comedy. This episode juggles multiple styles and tones often in the same scene. Great stuff!

Spike. James Marsters gets added to the main title credits and delivers a fangtastic performance. He’s the bad guy of the episode but he is also heroic in his cool James Bondian escape from The Initiative. He just radiates uber-cool badass before turning horrifically evil when attacking poor Willow in her room, which then, after the scary cliffhanger act break, leads directly in to one of the best and funniest scenes of the entire season.

The Spike can’t perform scene. Spike attacks Willow in a horrifically savage way, all frenzied hand held camera style. But when we come back to the scene we find a dejected Spike sat on the end of Willow’s bed, Willow unharmed and consoling him because he can’t bite her. Due to her post-Oz state she even takes it personally thinking Spike’s inability to perform is because he didn’t really want her anyway, to which Spike then consoles her by saying he’s always liked her and would bite her in a second if he could. It’s a wonderfully written scene performed with such bizarre warmth and humour by James Marsters and Alyson Hannigan. Moving from pure frenzied horror one moment to warmly hilarious the next is no mean feat. But this is partly why Buffy the Vampire Slayer works so well as a show. It isn’t just one thing. It straddles multiple genres and styles. It’s horror, comedy, romance, action, drama, teen angst, scifi etc. sometimes all in the one scene. And it works.

Nasty Parker gets knocked the f*%k out! Riley, hearing Parker Abrams make an especially crude and unkind joke at Buffy’s expense, punches the guy, knocking him out cold. The punch is as much a shock to Riley as it is to everyone else. It is then that he realises he has feelings for this rather “peculiar” girl. Nice one Agent Finn.

The Initiative HQ. We get the big reveal of the huge underground HQ in this episode. And it’s quite something. We get the gleaming white cells plus the central command and experimentation area. It’s huge and full of scientists and soldiers and high tech equipment. It looks fab. Very James Bond.

The Xander vs. Harmony fight. Xander, coming across Harmony in the woods, faces off with the upset (dumped again by Spike) vamp. The pair then engages in what is the saddest most pathetic fight ever. And it is hilarious. The director shoots it as if it is an epic fight between titans, using wide shots, close ups and even dramatic slow mo with a soaring score underneath. The truth is it is two people wrestling badly, slapping, kicking, hair pulling, and generally making a hash up of a fight. It ends with the pair agreeing to separate and go their own ways both highly embarrassed. Genius!

The end fight. The big showdown in Buffy’s dorm is great. It’s a threeway battle between Buffy, a bunch of Initiative commandos (including Riley) and Spike…all done in the dark and with gas from an exploded fire extinguisher and smoke from a flare gun. Thus Buffy can’t see Riley properly (he’s masked anyway) and Riley can’t see Buffy due to the darkness and the smoke. But the fight is big and wonderfully staged and directed and edited, taking place down a long dorm hallway. There’s even a cool Matrix homage with Buffy and the flare gun. “Dodge THIS!” Heh.

WHY IT SUCKS

Spike and his implanted chip. Nothing against the chip itself, it’s a great plot device used to neuter the poor lad and stop him from hurting people. Only problem is, in this episode he is clearly hitting people and fighting after he gets chipped while also not being able to bite Willow. It is clearly stated that the chip is working and stops him from hurting any human. Joss admitted right after the episode aired that they dropped the ball here. It simply shouldn’t have happened. Spike should NOT have been filmed fighting and hurting any humans. It was an error, something that was missed.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

The Spike and Willow ‘bedroom’ scene. Poor Spike.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Spike (about Buffy): "I always worried what would happen when that bitch got some funding."

Buffy (coming to Willow’s defence after Prof. Walsh lays in to her): "You know for someone who teaches human behaviour, you might try showing some."
Prof. Walsh: "It's not my job to coddle my students."
Buffy: "You're right. A human being in pain has nothing to do with your job." (walks away)

Forrest: “Check her out. Is she hot, or is she hot?”
Riley: “She's Buffy.”

Buffy: “Now if you'll excuse me, I need go find something slutty to wear tonight.”

Spike: “I don't understand. This sort of thing's never happened to me before.”
Willow: “Maybe you were nervous.”
Spike: “I felt all right when I started. Let's try again.”
(He tries to bite her, but he can't do it.)
Spike: “Damn it!”
Willow: “Maybe you're trying too hard. Doesn't this happen to every vampire?”
Spike: “Not to me, it doesn't!”
Willow: “It's me, isn't it?”
Spike: “What are you talking about?”
Willow: “Well, you came looking for Buffy, then settled. You didn't want to bite me, I just happened to be around.”
Spike: “Piffle.”
Willow: “I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their teeth into. It's always like, 'Oh, you're like a sister to me,' or, 'Oh, you're such a good friend.'”
Spike: “Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat.”
Willow: “Really?”
Spike: “Thought about it.”
Willow:” When?”
Spike: “Remember last year? You had on that fuzzy pink number with the lilac underneath.” (Gives her a sexy look.)
Willow: “I never would have guessed. You played the bloodlust kinda cool.”
Spike: “Mmmm. I hate being obvious. Being all fangy and 'Rrrr.' Takes the mystery out.”
Willow: “But if you could...”
Spike: “If I could, yeah.”
Willow: “You know, this doesn't make you any less terrifying.”
Spike: “Don't patronise me! (Paces around the room.) I'm only a hundred and twenty-six!”
Willow: “You're being too hard on yourself. Why don't we wait a half an hour and try again? (Makes a funny face, coming to her senses.) Or... (She grabs a lamp and whacks him over the head.)

AND ANOTHER THING

The Initiative HQ was actually filmed at Skunkworks in California where the US Airforce Stealth Bombers were built. Hence it looks huge and suitably high tech.

Doug Petrie in his commentary states that the main touchstones for this episode were James Bond movies, the classic British TV show The Prisoner (of which he and Joss are huge fans – see the big white balls hanging around The Initiative HQ as a homage) and The Matrix. Plus a bunch of classic rom com movies.

James Marsters has been added to the opening credits.

Seth Green's name has been taken out of the opening credits.

It is in this episode that we finally discover that Oz's real name is Daniel Osbourne.

HOW MANY STAKES?

Take the Initiative. 4.5 (out of 5)

BUFFY: 4.04 ‘FEAR, ITSELF’

Short episode promo

WRITER: David Fury
DIRECTOR: Tucker Gates

WHAT’S THE SITCH?

It’s Halloween and one of the frat houses is throwing a Scary House Halloween party. Said house has been prepared to be everything innocently spooky and scary for the soon to arrive party guests. But unbeknownst to the frat house boys, a symbol they found in a book and then painted on to the floor for creepy effect is really a mystical symbol designed to bring forth the terrible fear demon Gachnar. All the symbol needs to start its work is some human blood, which Oz accidentally supplies after cutting himself while fixing the party’s sound system. Later on that night, Buffy, Willow, Oz and Xander arrive at the frat house ready for some silly, creepy seasonal frolics…only to find it seemingly deserted. After venturing inside, the house then traps them, separates them, and begins to subject each of them to their deepest personal fears…

WHAT’S THE SITCH BENEATH THE SITCH?

Well, the whole thing is really just a big ol’ Halloween fest. An excuse to have some creepy good fun. Thematically though we are in fairly obvious territory: facing and conquering your fears, not letting them control you. The gang’s fears have changed now that they’ve grown older. Back in season one’s ‘Nightmares’ Willow’s biggest fear was being on stage. Now it is one of her spells going wrong and turning on her. Xander’s fear was clowns. Now it is being invisible to his friends. Of course Oz wasn’t in season one but his fear is of losing control and turning in to a werewolf and hurting Willow. Meanwhile Buffy’s fear is no longer rejection by her father. Now it is that no matter what she does, how hard she fights, she won’t be able to save people. As the gang has matured so have their fears.

WHO’S GIVING US THE WIGGINS THIS WEEK?

A scary house which includes knife-wielding corpses, transforming werewolves, vampires buried in the basement, bats, spiders, eyeballs and all sorts of creepy stuff. Oh, and Gachnar, the fear demon. And Anya dressed as a bunny.

WHY IT ROCKS

The story. David Fury wrote a fun rollercoaster spooky house tale for Halloween that has decent thematic depth and is all about the characters.

Giles fully embracing the spirit of Halloween…in a sombrero. And Buffy’s reaction.

Gleeful Giles with his toy Frankenstein’s Monster. “It’s alive!”

Anya and the thing that scares her the most: bunnies.

Anya in her giant bunny costume. So cute. So funny.

Giles with a chainsaw.

Buffy as Little Red Riding Hood. She looks real cute in her blood red cloak. It harkens back to season three’s ‘Helpless’ where we last saw her wearing a red hooded cloak whilst fleeing from psycho vampire Zachary Kralik.

Xander dressed in a tux just in case they all get turned in to their costumes again ala season two’s ‘Halloween’. If they do, then Xander wants to be James Bond. Buffy thinks he’ll more likely be a waiter.

Oz’s Halloween costume. Willow has come as Joan of Arc as she appreciates Joan’s close relationship with God. When the gang ask a normally dressed Oz what he’s come as, Oz silently reveals a small nametag on his jacket. It reads simply ‘God’. Heh.

The ‘big’ reveal of Gachnar.

WHY IT SUCKS

It’s a standalone episode and a token Halloween episode so doesn’t really add anything to the season. Still, it’s a lot of fun.

IT’S BUFFTASTIC

It’s a toss up between Anya in bunny costume and the hilarious final reveal.

DIALOGUE TO DIE FOR

Xander: “Well, that's the funny thing about me. I tend to hear the actual words people say and accept them at face value.”
Anya: “That's stupid!”
Xander: “I accept that.”

Buffy: “Thank the Lord.”
Oz: “You're welcome.”

Buffy: "Conjuring? Will, let's be realistic here, okay? Your basic spells are usually only about 50-50."
Willow (angrily): "Oh yeah? Well... so's your face!"
Buffy: "What?"

Xander (taunting the fear demon in a silly voice): "Who's the little fear demon? Come on, who's the little fear demon?"
Giles: "Don't taunt the fear demon."
Xander (worried now): "Why? Can he hurt me?"
Giles: "No, it's just... tacky."

Giles (annoyed, suddenly realising what the caption under the drawing of Gachnar says): “Actual size.”

HOW MANY STAKES?

A fearful 4 (out of 5)

Buffy Season 9: Little Slayer in the Big City

Clickable thumbnail for a page from BtVS: Season 9.1 'Freefall'


She’s back!

The Slayer returns for her ninth official season, though like the last one, in comic book form. Doesn’t matter. Season 9 (as with Season 8 before it) is canon. It is outlined/plotted, exec produced, and partly written by the god who be Joss. And Joss has written this here first issue – a short, funny, scene setting and character-building story called Freefall.

The story starts with Buffy waking up after the night before, a major hangover raging. She can’t remember what she got up to at the big housewarming party she threw the previous night; a party to which she invited all of her friends: Willow and her new squeeze, Xander and Dawn, Spike, Riley, and Andrew. She just knows something happened, that she likely made an ass of herself after ingesting copious amounts of alcohol. As her pained morning progresses, our girl slowly starts to remember in flashback bits and pieces of what went on the night before, until eventually she gets the full picture. It is then that Buffy’s new roomies confront her about what happened, and about her friends who came to the party. Yikes! Is it gonna be eviction time for the Buffster?

Uh uh, no spoilers here.

Freefall is a ton of fun. The story is told through Buffy’s tired, red tinged, alcohol dazed morning after eyes, her flashbacks a great device meaning that the reader is just as in the dark as Buffy about what she got up to, only learning what happened as she does. It’s true that Joss has such a firm grip on these characters that they live and breath on the page. As to be expected his dialogue is witty, snappy and clever, while at the same time the theme behind the story is strong. There is a forced jollity to Buffy here. But behind that jollity hides sadness and guilt. And yes, pain. Always pain. Wouldn’t be Buffy without the pain. Being the master Mr Whedon is, he can layer all of this stuff in to a very funny, perfectly constructed story about a girl suffering a bad hangover, just trying to get through her day.

So just what is the theme here? Because as we know, theme and metaphor is the bread and butter of Buffy.

Well, after the huge mystical, multi dimensional, world altering/shattering events of Season 8 the concept behind Season 9 is, we’re told, back to basics. Season 9 is supposed to bring Buffy and her friends back to dealing with the everyday, back to using the supernatural as metaphor for the kinds of trials and tribulations we all face in life: growing up, growing older, dealing with parents and family, dealing with relationships, taking on responsibility. Basically living life. This time, for Buff at least, the main theme appears to be about finding your place in the world and where you fit in when things around you have changed. It’s about building a life and trying to figure out what it is that defines you. Is it your job? Your family? Your friends? A lot of this has been touched on before in Buffy, but through the lens of adolescence, of growing up. This time it is through the lens of directionless adulthood. What happens when we are cast adrift from our old life? You can look at it perhaps like family break up, divorce, or losing a long-held job. Big adult life changes. To quote a song I know, “Where do we go from here?”

In Freefall, Buffy is in the beginnings of this adult life-adjustment phase. Things have changed. She’s trying to get a handle on her life now that her leader-of-a-slayer-army days are over. The remaining slayers are still around (many not happy about what Buffy did), but the army is disbanded, and no new slayers will ever be called again. Now, war over, former Slayer General Buffy Summers is in San Francisco working as a waitress, living in a shared apartment with some brand new roomies, trying to discover what she wants to do with the rest of her life. But despite her having cut the world off from magic and from all the mystical dimensions, there are still vampires around who need slaying. So most nights Buff keeps up her old habit of secret patrolling, of vamp slayage, but with no Big Bads, no major apocalypse’s to be averted. At least not yet. So with the rest of her life ahead of her, and its path not being dictated by any Watcher’s Council types anymore, what’s a young, free and single slayer to do? I guess that is the big question for Season 9.

All in all, Freefall is a perfect start to what promises to be a fun and intriguing new chapter in the lives of everyone’s favourite Sunnydale refugees. So thanks to Joss. I read. I laughed. I reread. I laughed some more. I got the nuances, the subtleties, and the not so subtleties.

Great stuff!

Long may the Buffster reign.

Buffy: 3.13 ‘The Zeppo’

Some of Christophe Beck’s great score for this ep. The piece is entitled ‘Dead Guys with Bombs’.

Writer: Dan Vebber
Director: James Whitmore Jr

What's the sitch?

The evil and all-powerful Sisterhood of the Jhe is on its way to Sunnydale to unleash powerful magics in order to open the Hellmouth and send the world in to a seemingly unstoppable apocalypse. Giles is truly scared, while Buffy and Angel are convinced they are about to spend their last night on Earth. Meanwhile Xander is having a crisis of confidence and identity. Cordy, still enjoying torturing him due to his cheating on her with Willow, has pointed out how utterly useless he is to the Scoobies; he’s the one who keeps on having to be saved; the one with no power or knowledge. He’s basically the useless fifth wheel who goes and gets the donuts when the rest are researching and preparing for battle. He’s “The Zeppo” Cordy points out, referring to Herbert “Zeppo” Marx, the oft overlooked Marx Brother who usually played the straight man to his more famous brothers. Determined not to be that guy, Xander borrows his Uncle Rory’s flashy car in order to be “car guy.” But all too quickly he gets involved in his own crazy adventure which sees the Xan man getting embroiled with the local psycho bully, Jack, and his plans to raise from the dead his group of thug buddies, make a bomb, and go blow up the school. On the way through this rollercoaster night, Xander saves Faith from a demon attack…and then goes and loses his virginity to her in her motel room before being rather unceremoniously thrown out by the nonchalant slayer straight after she's had her way with him. Shell-shocked by his brief yet intense time with Faith, Xander must still man up and go on and stop Jack and his buddies from blowing up the school. Meanwhile, elsewhere in the school building (and totally unaware of the explosive zombie plot going on in the basement) Buffy, Angel, and Giles are in an apocalyptic battle to the death as the Hellmouth opens…

What's the sitch beneath the sitch?

No real big underlying metaphor here as this is basically a Xander comedy episode which also looks at his role in the gang and in the show and gives him a chance to shine. He’s not “The Zeppo”, he’s not “car guy,” he’s a whole lot more. Basically, Xander is us. He’s just a normal everyday guy, kinda geeky and not especially talented or gifted at anything…at least not until he discovers carpentry. But what he certainly is is brave, perceptive, and loyal. Xander is the heart of the group. He’s the glue that keeps things together. He’s the guy who sees what's really going on with people when they are far too busy with the big epic apocalypse stuff, and then helps them deal.

Who's giving us the wiggins this week?

Psycho Jack and his zombie buddies, and The Sisterhood of the Jhe (kinda).

Why it rocks

Nicholas Brendon. It’s a Xander comedy episode. Which means Nicky Brendon gets to go full-on funny. And he is so, so good at that. This is simply one of the funniest episodes in all of Buffy…and that’s saying something.

The script. Dan Vebber’s hilarious and beautifully constructed script has Buffy the Vampire Slayer doing Tom Stoppard’s Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. In the same way that Stoppard’s comic play has its two titular characters, being two minor characters from Hamlet, take centre stage while the epic events of Shakespeare’s play form the backdrop, so the same happens here. Xander’s adventure is the 'A' story, while Buffy and co. battling the apocalypse with all the destruction, blood, fights and high emotion that entails (especially between Buffy and Angel) is reduced to being just a sub-plot. It all comes together wonderfully at the end as Xander battles alone to stop crazy Jack and defuse the bomb in the school basement while at the same time Buffy and co upstairs are fighting for their lives to save the world from the creatures released from the now opened Hellmouth.

Xander and ‘Katie’

Xander and Faith – especially the look on Xander’s face as he’s pushed out of her motel room door after the event.

The showdown. The brilliantly edited/cross-cut end sequence, which is played out like a horror version of a French farce…culminating in psycho Jack’s sudden and unexpected demise in the jaws of a wolfed out Oz.

Why it sucks

The Hellmouth monsters still look rubbish.

Oz’s werewolf costume also still looks rubbish.

Jack says that he couldn't raise his dead friends earlier because he "had to wait 8 months for the stars to align," but he died three weeks ago and his "grandpappy" raised him the same night.

It's Buftastic

Xander, feeling out of his depth in trying to stop Jack, goes to find Buffy to ask for her help…only to walk in on her and Angel in the midst of a tearful and hilariously overwrought moment as they prepare for their demise in the face of the imminent apocalypse and declaring their love for each other. Seeing he’s picked a bad moment, Xander apologises and quickly retreats, leaving the pair to their apocalyptic melodrama.

Dialogue to die for

Xander: “What do I have?”
Oz: “An exciting new obsession. Which I feel makes you very special.”
Xander: “Now with the mocking.”

Jack: "You wanna be startin' something?"
Xander: "What? Starting something? Like that Michael Jackson song, right? That was a lot of fun, huh? 'Too high to get over, yeah, yeah.' Remember that fun song?"

Xander: "Is it hard to play guitar?"
Oz: "Not the way I play it."

Xander (referring to his car): "It's my thing."
Willow: "Your thing?"
Xander: "My thing!"
Buffy: "Is this a penis metaphor?"

Buffy: “And, you know, with the pain and the death, maybe you shouldn't be leaping into the fray like that. Maybe you should be... fray-adjacent.”

Xander: “Yeah, great knife. Although I think it may technically be a sword.”
Jack: “She's called Katie.”
Xander: “You gave it a girl's name. How very serial killer of you.”

Jack: “I like you.”
Xander: “Yay?”

And another thing

As in the previous episode ‘Helpless’ the main bad guy here was played by a regular cast member from the defunct 1996 vampire series Kindred: The Embraced. Coincidence or not?

How many stakes?

Funny Xander slays all before him. 4.5 (out of 5)

Buffy: 3.11 ‘Gingerbread’

Cordelia trying to wake up Giles in a typically Cordelia manner.

Writer: Jane Espenson, Thania St John
Director: James Whitmore Jr

What's the sitch?

While out on patrol Buffy is surprised by an impromptu visit from her mom who then goes and stumbles across the bodies of two little children, a boy and girl aged about eight, apparently murdered by witches in a ritualistic manner. Traumatised and angry, Joyce, together with some other mothers including Willow’s, forms MOO – Mothers Opposed to the Occult. And before you can say ‘Salem Witch Trials’ school lockers are being searched for anything possibly witchy and Giles is having his books confiscated from the library. Fear and persecution is sweeping through Sunnydale. Soon Willow and Amy are outed as witches, and together with Buffy, they are taken by the clearly crazed MOO-ers to be burned at the stake. As it turns out there is (as per usual) a nasty demon behind the whole thing. The two ‘dead’ children are in fact a single demon who has been playing this trick throughout the ages, stirring up fear and paranoia in communities, which it then feeds upon. We know it best as Hansel and Gretel, the little brother and sister who caused the death of an innocent old woman centuries ago, with the story being retold rather differently in the subsequent famous Grimm’s fairytale.

What's the sitch beneath the sitch?

Gingerbread is a riff on an old theme: how fear and paranoia can so easily spread and how we need simple scapegoats to blame for our failings as a society. The Salem Witch Trials is perhaps this episode’s most obvious touchstone with Arthur Miller’s McCarthy era parable The Crucible being a major inspiration. But the theme here goes wider. It also goes to the knee jerk tabloid reaction that feeds our modern culture of fear – be it paedophiles behind every tree, or how kids wearing black and listening to the likes of Marylyn Manson is gonna warp their fragile little minds. It’s also about how parents don’t listen and don’t understand their fast growing and changing offspring. Witness Willow’s mom, clearly a very clever lady, but who only ever talks at her daughter, not to her. She doesn’t listen to Willow and as a result knows almost nothing about who her daughter really is. This episode also taps in to that fear that swept the US years ago around the alleged widespread occult/satanic abuse of children, something for which no real evidence has ever been found.

Who's giving us the wiggins this week?

Creepy dead kids aka a giant hairy demon, and the crazed mothers of MOO.

Why it rocks

The concept. It’s a solid concept, which is mostly well handled and the themes are clear and relatable.

A fairytale. Buffy once again delves in to the realm of traditional fairytales and puts its own inimitable twist to the old story of Hansel and Gretel by making the children the evildoers and the witch the innocent victim. Now, I love fairytales – especially when given a new spin. I love the themes, the iconography, and the intrinsic relationship with modern horror that fairytales have. So this one was an easy sell for me.

The great Jane Espenson. She co-wrote Gingerbread and though it's not her best work she has a gift for writing great dialogue and fun character stuff.

MOO. How can you not love an action group with that acronym?

The final ten minutes. The rest of the show is pretty good but the final ten minutes is inspired as Buffy, Willow and Amy are about to be burned alive at the stake, Xander and Oz infiltrate the air ducts to try and get to them to save them, while Giles and Cordy are trying a more direct approach with magic and a fire hose.

Amy the rat. Poor Amy turns herself in to a rat to escape the fire…and stays a rat for the next three years being looked after in a cage by Willow.

Buffy ‘stakes’ the demon. Using the giant stake she’s tied to, Buffy breaks it and more by luck than judgement skewers the advancing demon through the neck. Unfortunately she’s bent double and can’t see what she’s done, hence her eager cries of, “Did I get it? Did I get it?” Heh.

Why it sucks

Joyce doesn’t seem to question that ‘dead’ children are telling her what to do.

Any school would naturally be rather concerned if they found the sorts of books in their library that Giles keeps in Sunnydale High’s. In the real world he’d probably get fired on the spot.

Amy changes herself in to a rat to escape the burning. And she stays a rat for two more seasons despite Willow’s ongoing attempts to change her back. However back in season two’s ‘Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered’, Amy changed Buffy in to a rat but Giles managed to change Buffy back at episode’s end. So shouldn’t Willow have just asked Giles for help in turning Amy back?

Why on earth would the residents of Sunnydale hold a witch burning indoors? I know they’ve gone loopy, but still…

It's Buftastic

The whole finale with the failed heroics of Xander and Oz as they fall through the ceiling and then Buffy ‘staking’ the demon.

Dialogue to die for

Buffy (seeing a witch symbol on Willow’s notebook): "What is this?"
Willow: "A doodle. I do doodle. You too. You do doodle, too."

Buffy: "My mom had said some things to me about being the slayer. That it's fruitless. No fruit for Buffy."

Buffy: "I'm like the kid in the story, the boy that stuck his finger in the duck."
Angel: "Dike.” (Buffy looks at him, shocked) “It's another word for dam."
Buffy: "Oh, OK, that story makes a lot more sense now."

Giles: “There is a fringe theory, held by a few folklorists, that some regional stories have actual, very literal antecedents.”
Buffy: “And in some language that's English?”
Oz: “Fairy tales are real.”

Giles: (struggles to his feet after Cordelia has slapped him awake) “We need to save Buffy from Hansel and Gretel.”
Cordelia (confused): “Now, let's be clear. The brain damage happened *before* I hit you.”

And another thing

Parents don’t come out of this episode very well, which is something of a running theme in Buffy. The mothers are close-minded paranoids and the fathers pretty much absent (another running theme in Buffy). Only Giles acquits himself well in the parent role…but that will be put rather severely to the test in the next episode.

How many stakes?

Don’t burn these witches. 3 (out of 5)

Buffy: 3.9 ‘The Wish’

Short trailer for the episode.

Writer: Marti Noxon
Director: David Greenwalt

What's the sitch?

Cordelia is back at school post-injury and is blanking Xander while looking to get back in with her previous crowd of Harmony and co. However this doesn’t work out as the bitchy girls are intent on making fun of and humiliating Cordy for her relationship with Xander whenever possible. Cordy’s only silver lining is new girl Anya who strikes up a friendship with her but seems oddly obsessed with trying to get Cordy to make a wish that will harm Xander. Inadvertently Cordy does just that…by wishing that Buffy Summers never came to Sunnydale. And seeing as how Anya is really Anyanka, a vengeance demon who grants wishes to romantically wronged women, Cordy is instantly transported in to an alternate reality where Buffy never did come to town and so the Master did rise and the vampires now pretty much run things. And in this reality Xander and Willow are both vampires, Angel is a prisoner who is regularly tortured by Willow for fun (the ‘puppy’) and Giles leads a small band of ever dwindling resistance. Cordy tries to explain to Giles what has happened but before she can tell the full story she falls victim to evil Willow. It is left to Giles to try and work things out and to try and contact the elusive Buffy Summers and convince her to come to Sunnydale and help put things right.

What's the sitch beneath the sitch?

Be careful what you wish for. No great metaphor or allegory here but the theme is a classic one of being mindful of what you have as the alternative could always be much, much worse. It’s basically ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ Buffy style.

Who's giving us the wiggins this week?

Anyanka, The Master, vampires Willow and Xander.

Why it rocks

A new world. Yay! It’s alternate reality time. Almost all of the great genre shows get to do at least one of these with possibly Star Trek being the most famous with the Mirror Universe tales. Alternate realities allow writers to let rip and have fun by pretty much doing anything with the characters they can dream of. So here, in Buffy, we get a beaten down and emasculated Angel, gloriously evil and sexually provocative vampires Xander and Willow, and a cynical and battle scarred (literally) Buffy who is almost exactly the same as Faith is in ‘real’ reality.

The script. Writer Marti Noxon does a great job with the script and even pulls a Psycho on us leading us to believe that Cordy will be the central character of the piece. She isn’t. Twenty minutes in and its curtains for Cordy. Essentially Giles is the hero here. He puts things together and ultimately saves the day.

The plan. The Master’s diabolical plot of mass production of blood by factory farming humans is horrible and when the first victim is electronically stunned like a cow to slaughter then placed on the machine and automatically bled to death you can’t help but get a chill. Nasty stuff.

Battle scarred Buffy. SMG is great. She doesn’t say much but when she does it sounds very Faith-like. She just wants to kick ass and has no time for teamwork or plans. It’s also great seeing how she barely even notices when Angel gets staked or when Willow and Xander do as well. It’s quite a jarring moment…as is what happens to her at the hands of The Master.

Anya/Anyanka. Emma Caulfield makes a creepy/fun first impression as vengeance demon Anyanka. She doesn’t have that much to do here but luckily the producers saw in her much potential and kept her on in a recurring guest role where she soon blossomed and became one of the very best and funniest characters in the entire seven year run of the series.

Vampire Willow. Not to be confused with Dark Willow (black eyed, raging magic girl from season 6), Vampire Willow became an instantly iconic character. Alyson Hannigan is simply brilliant and is clearly having way too much fun playing the deliciously cruel, slinky, S&M wearing deviant vampire version of Willow. Her line of “Bored Now” first delivered in this episode became the much-loved catch phrase for Willow whenever she was in evil (Vamp or Dark) mode. Oh, and her creepy, sexy torturing of Angel is a twisted highlight of this episode and of the whole season. And things only got better further in to this season when Joss brought the character back for his utterly brilliant and wondrously classic episode ‘Doppelgangland’.

Why it sucks

As with most stories of this type everything gets resolved happily at the end with nobody knowing what happened and everything back to how it should be. This kinda negates the weight of what came before. But that’s just how these things work and isn’t a major issue.

In the alternate reality I’d have liked to have known why Buffy never went to Sunnydale and why she seemed to end up in Cleveland instead. And also how come she’s so Faith-like. Surely it can’t just be because she never met Giles, Willow and Xander. Is her mom still around? It doesn’t seem like it.

It's Buftastic

The great fight scene shot from ground level as Giles lays on the ground while a mysterious saviour kills a bunch of nasty vamps he’s been trying to fend off. We only see legs and people flying to the ground and off-camera sound effects of fighting and dusting. Of course it is eventually revealed to be Buffy having arrived in the nick of time to save this watcher she doesn’t know.

Dialogue to die for

Willow: “Isn't he gonna poof?”
Buffy: “I guess these guys don't. We'll have to bury him or something. Ohh, makes you appreciate vamps, though. No fuss, no muss.”

Xander: “And they burst in, rescuing us, without even knocking? I mean, this is really all their fault.”
Buffy: “Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.”
Xander: “Mine is much more advanced.”

Buffy: “I don't play well with others. Now, I'm gonna ask you this once, and then I'm gonna get testy.”

Vampire Willow: “Bored now.”

And another thing

We see Cordelia's bedroom for the first time in this episode.

This is Emma (Anya) Caulfield’s first appearance on Buffy. She will stay on as a recurring guest star and eventually become a regular cast member with her name in the opening credits from season 5.

How many stakes?

There is no alternative. 4 (out of 5)